February 24, 2001

Well, it has been a long time since I have had anything to say... which for me, is quite odd I might add.

    Having dated the same guy for the past 3 1/2 years, I've finally realized, that guys just don't get it. Just because I ask for one thing, does not mean by any means that I am going to get it, and if I really want it, it depends on how much it fits into "his" schedule as to how fast, or even if it is going to get done... Am I bitter? Probably... it's been a very long and frustrating week... Why you might ask? Well, when I last saw my wonderful BF, he said he'd give me a call that night. It was Monday. It is now Saturday, and I have yet to hear from him. Now you might ask why I haven't called him, but then you're going to get the response, I'm stubborn, and it's his turn, he said he'd call, so darn it, I'm going to wait until he calls. Turns out--he's probably just as stubborn as I am. Either that, or he's at home swearing up and down that I said I'd call him--you see, he is never wrong, and I am always wrong. No matter what it's about. Never mind that I have the type of memory that would shock even Regis, I'm still wrong. I can name you the date that just about anything happened (well to me and close others), what I was wearing, how I felt, and other things, but damn it, I'm still wrong. Even though his mom was sitting right there, he'll still say I was wrong--even though I can quote verbatim "Where are you going to be,", me 'at work, then the barn then home', "all right, I'll call you." what he said. And if I'm always wrong, and professing that he's right, I'm lying--correct... OK moving on...

A friend and I were talking about men's disabilities the other day, and how they can be clueless. So I have decided to put a list together of some things you guys should know--so next time you have a date, or a girlfriend, or something important, you don't piss your lady friend off.

(This site and page is in no way affiliated with the movie "What women want" in fact, I haven't even seen the blasted movie. The views expressed on this page are probably just mine and a small part of the percentage of women-but hey, it's a start.)

What Women Want

• When You say you are going to call her--call her!!. Even you have forgotten to call her when you said you would, the least you can do is to call her when you do remember, or leave her a voice mail message. This will earn you big points in my book.

• I am a flower girl--all I really want for anything is flowers--I don't care about the diamond ring, I don't care about the stuffed teddy bear. I don't care how many flowers there are, I don't care what kind of flowers they are-it could be a dandelion weed or flower from your mother's garden. I just want a single flower. I know this is a hard concept to understand, however, it's a simple wish, and once having shown that you do know what I really want, you will earn more bonus points.

• Don't cheat. It really is that simple. If you don't want me anymore, let me go. It's not worth it to either of us to work in a relationship that doesn't exist. Don't say you are trying to spare my feelings--cheating is going to hurt more than leaving ever would.

• Don't expect me to revolve my little world around yours if you can't offer me the same courtesy. I guess I just haven't learned yet why guys can't get it into their head that, if their life isn't all me, then they can't expect my life to be all them. I don't ask for much, just time, respect and honesty.

• Touching and foreplay is a good thing. I can't tell you how tired I am of not being touched until it comes time for sex, and then jumped on like it's no big thing. I'm tired of those little pecks on the cheek when I walk in the door and when I go. I want a real live kiss, one that will get my heart pumping, as well as his. When I say I want more, I mean it.

• Family is great. However, once you get old, your family will not be there all the time. Some will have died, some will have moved away. The only person that will be with you for the rest of your life (hopefully) will be your husband or wife. If you are seriously considering the person you are with as your future husband or wife--treat them that way. Don't blow them off and use your family as an excuse not to do something with them.

• If you are sick, don't use it against your love. Work with them--maybe they can make you feel better. Anyone can get sick at anytime. Just because you are doesn't make you special, but it does perhaps entitle you to a little "sexual" healing. And don't turn it down!!

• Don't ever complain about how tired you are.  I don't mind an "I'm tired" every once in a while, but when you start using it against me, so you don't have any "time" to spend with me, I start to get offended. Especially when you haven't seen me in a week or so, and haven't spent any quality "make-out" time with me.

• I'm not sex obsessed--really! I just like to be touched--not molested, but not left alone either.

• When you are having your lady friend stay the night, you could at least have the courtesy to hold her when she sleeps. I'm not talking all night, but I'm also not talking roll over and start snoring either. It's also rude to expect her to hold you when you don't even consider fore-play.

• Don't complain about your busy schedule--especially if your SO's (significant other) schedule is more busy than yours is. I'm talking if you only go to school, and the girl has three jobs, goes to school, has other "fun" things she likes to do, and still finds time for you at the end of the day. I do this daily, and yet I never complain--go figure.

• When your SO asks you what you did that day, they are not prying--they are just looking to start a conversation. Don't say nothing, or not much and expect to not get asked further questions. I don't like having to ask seven million questions to just find out that you went to see your aunt, or to the store, or how school was. You should just offer up that information, it's not like it's a big "secret" anyway. If you want trust, give her a reason to trust you. Hiding what you did during the day, and then getting all angry when she's just trying to talk to not initiate trust. It spawns mis-trust because she wonders what else you're hiding from her.

• Don't say "I love you" just to say it. Really mean it-show her you mean it. In the movie, My Fair Lady, Eliza Doolittle sings a lovely little song, I believe it's called "Show Me", however, I could be wrong. Nevertheless, it does express my sentiments-I'm tired of hearing all those words darn it- "Show Me!"

• Don't, don't, don't, don't, don't sit and ignore your SO when they are at your house. They didn't come over to sit and stare at the wall, tv, or your back as you are working on something that you could have done earlier or later in the day. They didn't come over to talk to your roommate, or your parents, sister or any other person at your house. They didn't come to make your bed, do your laundry, or clean your room--THEY CAME TO SEE YOU. How would you feel if they did the same to you?

• When she's trying to bring up something, or talk about how she feels, she's not automatically trying to pick a fight. She just wants you to know what's up, and hopefully, you will share your thoughts with her. Also, if you are having problems, and she's trying to fix them, you may thank your lucky stars, she may just dump your unfeeling unlistening ass because you don't have the ability or the brain to help her with your problems.

If you are a man, and you do the things I have said--Kudo's welcome to the world of understanding women. If you don't do these things (or do do the ones I said not to), take heart. There's only so much a girl can put up with. And we're not bound to put up with it for very long.

If, as a man, you have a list of "man wants" please feel free to  me, and I'll either create you your own "What Men Want" page, and attribute your keen thoughts to yourself.

Back to m'thoughts page...

Janel�2001