sunscreen

"You know, we're going to look back at ourselves and regret so many things." I said this to a friend the other day. It was the sort of remark that you just say and don't really think about until later. I've been thinking about it...

I don't want to be the sort of person that, when I'm aged and my skin has the elasticity of a yo-yo string, I look at young people who are my age now and stare wistfully at them. At their youthful beauty. At their whole lives before them. I don't want to because I want my life now to have meaning for later on.

I don't want to be remembered as the person who never did anything memorable and wasn't a very good person at all.

I don't want to mess with people's feelings.

I don't want my feelings to be messed with.

I don't want to have any regrets.

I don't want to be remembered as anything but me.

I don't want to have to worry about my future.

I don't want to fail, but I do want to learn something.

I don't want to stand out, but I want to be known.

I don't want to be with other people, but I don't want to be by myself.

I don't want to have to talk all of the time and I don't want to have to listen all of the time.

I don't want to be jealous of anybody, but I don't want to not admire anybody.

I don't want to know what the future holds.

I was listening to'Everybody's Free To Wear Sunscreen' by Quindon Tarver and Lee Perry when I wrote that. So I stole the words from some page by a Greek dude. Here it is.

wear sunscreen

if I could offer you only one tip for the future

sunscreen would be it

the long-term benefits of sunscreen have been proved by scientists

where as the rest of my advice had no basis more reliable than my own meandering experience

I will dispense this advice now

enjoy the power and the beauty of your youth

oh never mind, you will not understand the power and the beauty of your youth until they've faded

but trust me, in twenty years you will look back at photos of yourself

and recall in a way you can't grasp now

how much possibility lay before

and how fabulous you really looked

you are not as fat as you imagine

don't worry about the future

or worry but know that worrying is as effective as trying to solve an algebra equation by chewing bubble gum

the real troubles in your life are apt to be things that never crossed your worried mind

the kind that blindside you at 4pm some idle Tuesday

do one thing everyday that scares you

sing

don't be reckless with other peoples heart

don't put up with people who are reckless with yours

floss

don't waste your time on jealousy

sometimes you're ahead

sometimes you're behind

the race is long

and in the end it's only with yourself

remember compliments you receive

forget the insults

if you succeed doing this

tell me how

keep your old love letters

throw away your old bank statements

stretch

don't feel guilty if you don't know what to do with your life

the most interesting people I know didn't know at 22 what they wanted to do with their lives

some of the most interesting 40 year olds I know still don't

get plenty of calcium

be kind to your knees

you'll miss them when they're gone

maybe you'll marry

maybe you wont

maybe you'll have children

maybe you wont

maybe you'll be divorced at 40

maybe you will dance the funky chicken on your 75th wedding anniversary

whatever you do

don't congratulate yourself too much

or berate yourself either

your choices are half chance

so are everybody else's

enjoy your body

use it every way you can

don't be afraid of it or what other people think of it

it's the greatest instrument you'll ever own

dance

even if you have nowhere to do it but in your own living room

read the directions

even if you don't follow them

do not read beauty magazines

they will only make you feel ugly

brother and sister together we'll make it through someday a spirit will take you and guide you there I know you've been hurting but I've been waiting to be there for you and I'll be there just helping you out whenever I can

get to know your parents

you never know when they will be gone for good

par be nice to your siblings

they're your best link to your past and most likely to stick with you in the future

understand that friends come and go

but with a precious few you should hold on

work hard to bridge the gaps in geography and lifestyle

because the older you get the more you need the people you knew when you were young

live in New York city once

but leave before it makes you hard

live in Northern California once

but leave before it makes you soft

travel

accept certain inalienable truths

prices will rise

politicians will philander

you too will get old

and when you do

you'll fantasise that when you were young

prices were reasonable

politicians were noble

and children respected their elders

respect your elders

don't expect anyone to support you

maybe you have a trust fund

maybe you'll have a wealthy spouse

but you never know when either one will run out

don't mess too much with your hair

or by the time you're 40 it will look 85

be careful whose advice you buy

but be patient with those who supply it

advice is a form of nostalgia

dispensing it is a way of fishing the past from the disposal

wiping it off

painting over the ugly parts

and recycling it for more than its worth

but trust me on the sunscreen

This is something that I wrote when everything started to really annoy me.

Who really wants to be popular? We 'pathetic' people all say that we do, but when it comes down to it, we're content with our friends, our lifestyles. Yet we still resent the popular people because we think that we're missing out on something. Sure they're able to intimidate people but who's going to care in the future? Who're we going to remember in a few decades time? The pretty people, the popular people? No. We're going to remember our friends, the people that've seen how ugly and red our faces go when we cry, the people that think you're cool, the people that laugh at your poor arse jokes, the people that think of interesting things to tell you (eg the liver is the largest gland in the body- I find that amazing because I imagine a little tube of sweat not a brown gelatinous organ - I digress), the people that watch that certain black haired guy a grade older than you with a white shirt under his uniform as he walks past with you as you smile goofily and say how pretty he is (the guy thing only works if you're me). They're the people that you know have made now worthwhile. We're going to look back and shake our heads as we try to find a reason why we did want to be those other people. But right now, I guess we're going to let our lives be run by insecure people who find it necessary to be popular for their life to have meaning. When you think about, they're the pathetic ones. Who really gives a buggeration about images? If I had an image to uphold it would be a scary scary thing. What is my image? Why does it have to be defined in a single word or phrase? Why do I have to be grouped with the other people in my 'caste' when everybody is so obviously different and individual? DORKS I like being a dork. I pride myself on being a dork. I am able to do, say, wear, think, whatever I want because it'll just be shrugged off with a "Who cares? She's a dork!" or similar comments. It's great. Besides, being a dork you're not constantly scrutinised by those 'beneath' you. You can go to school without brushing your hair (and believe me, I do!). You can walk around laughing with the mannerisms of an hyena. You don't have to go out with five people in a week. You can like four-assed monkeys. You can dance like a rabid chimpanzee. (I've mentioned animals quite a lot in this paragraph - great analogies happening!) You can go to sleep at 8:00 on Friday nights or stay at home on Saturday nights eating hollow bread filled with cheese and horseradish with your parents. You can say things like 'chub' and 'roger' and 'gargantuan' (not to mention mischevious, full of the funk, etc.) and you can listen to and like music like Julio Iglesias, Radiohead, Simon and Garfunkel and B-52's (especially if you're me). You can wear Charlie's Angels t-shirts that you've bought from Northern Warehouse for $4 and tracksuit pants cut off at the knees with a piece of material that doubles as a skirt or bandanna. You can think that some people aren't that great to you and you don't have to entertain others all of the time. My point: Yes I enter school with (shock horror!) untamed hair! Yes I am not under pressure to be great! Yes I use words with more than 3 syllables and yes I have the sleeping habits of an infant! Yes I love horseradish and mention it in conversation! Yes I dress in inexpensive, kitschy attire and have a collection of clothes with hoods! Yes I am allowed to have the love life of a 94 year old widow at times! Yes I love it when Art and Julio do duets together! So let us unite, those that are dorks. Let us do whatever we want to.