Where is the hope for the future ?

by Kiersten “Kier” Giannuzzi

Steve and I attended the COT school in Cape Cod, MA (a round of applause to NED !! They did something very nice for us wives......we loved the cooking and quilting classes). At COTS alot was said about recruiting the younger barbershopper, but what you are forgetting is that some of the younger men come with attachments.....such as wives and in some cases young children. As in our case we have three barbershop babies our oldest is 7 years old our middle child is 5 and the baby is 2 years old. The society must start to rethink some of the way’s they run events. Many events, and even some members, make those of us with children feel like we are lepers. Many of the older members forget that the young guys have families and then become annoyed when family duties prevent the member from participating. Some of us (the wives and children) want to show our support to our husbands and their choruses but there is not much we can do. I love barbershop as much as my husband, and my children would rather listen to “FRED” or “Saturday Evening Post” than Barney or Sesame Street. There are hardly any events that we can attend as a family. If a wife really wants to attend an special event, the child care issue is so involved, you need to find and make arrangements for a reliable person to care for your children and the cost of it is more expensive than most young families can afford. So at times your only option is to give up and stay at home. By no means am I saying that every event, Festival or singout should be made family friendly but an attempt and an understanding would be nice. I have talked with some of the wives and husbands with children from around our region as well as the country, they wish they could attend more events and be more a part of the barbershop experience but it is made too difficult when you have children. Some of the other wives of older members have said there is a reason not to make events and choruses family friendly. “We don’t want the children there” followed by the ever famous statement “This is the way it has always been”..... I say it is time for a change or your society will die out. If the members with children or their wives feel they are not welcome they will not be supportive or loyal. If spouses are not supportive it will become increasingly difficult for the members to attend events, rehearsals and or other performances.

Wouldn’t it be nice to say and really mean it that you are having a family friendly event or when trying to recruit new members it would be great to say we are a family oriented chorus. You won’t see as much hesitation from prospective members with families and ultimately get more recruits.

I have brought up this point many times.....but everyone asks “If you are so smart what are the solutions...”. I spent alot of time and have given this alot of thought. Here are a few ideas that I could come up with. I am sure there are many more things that could be done to make families feel a part of the barbershop experience.

1) Make a child’s admission (at one Festival we attend annually they charge $18. per admission regardless of age..... for all of us to attend just one show of the event it would cost $90)

2) How about a cry or children’s Room/Tent ? A few donated toys and playpens (I’m sure you could get several parents to donate) Don’t forget the possibility of putting in a speaker so we could still hear the show.

3) If the event is able to !! Even better than a children’s space..... contact a local girlscout/boyscout troop and see if you could make arrangements for a team of baby-sitters. I am sure the parents who would need it would bend down and kiss your feet. You could charge a nominal fee to help cover the child care costs or ask each parent using the service to donate some time to help out with the children.

4) Have children’s hour at an event, make a time set aside just for families, (perhaps right before the show) and perform for the children, expose them to barbershop music make them feel a part of it. Or even better have a special children’s concert.

5) How about a children’s/adolescence sing clinic, meet the quartets or Q and A secession ?

6) A father son night at chorus. Children are our future. Even for the grown children of older members.

7) This is more for the wives of the members. If you have a member who has young children what about keeping in touch with his wife, make them feel apart of everything and understand that they can’t always be there to help out not because they don’t want to.

8) Chorus families get together’s.......Winter Holiday parties and or summer picnics.

9) Many chorus have tee-shirts or polo shirts. How about creating a my daddy or my grandpa or my uncle is a “chorus name” shirt ? Don’t forget the wives, too. They can’t cost a chorus too much.

10) The most important thing of all is understanding. Understand that at times family needs to come first.

I am sure that there will be many people who will disagree with my view on the subject but even a small effort would be appreciated by those of us with families. A child of a barbershopper could possibly grow up to be a barbershopper and keep the society alive.

The song is correct that children are our future.

Now the real question.....why did I write this. I feel as if I raised some valid points. I hope in some way it may help other wives and families to find more enjoyment in this hobby not to mention a great recruiting tool. Change is always difficult but it is necessary. Encouraging chapters to be more family friendly will benefit us all. Some may say that you are a men’s organization not a family one. This is completely true. I would like to tell you a story. My husband is also a Free Mason, very much a men’s only organization. Several years ago before Steve joined the lodge , it was dying out as are many lodges across the country. They realized that to attract new younger members they need to make some minor changes, they adopted a family friendly approach. These changes do not effect the day to day operating of the lodge. They have done just a few simple things to make families feel welcome. First they realized that the younger men have families and sometimes those duties come first and they understand and accept that fact. To help families feel welcome they offer a mothers days breakfast in the spring, a summer family picnic, on Christmas eve one of the members (who happens to look the part) dresses up as Santa and visits the members with children, plus they are planning a family camping trip for the fall. These simply changes have done so much to help recruit. Men with families want to be where their family is accepted. The Order of the Eastern Star which I belong to as also adopted a family friendly approach, they have had a record year for new members, especially mothers with small children. What do I hope that my editorial can do ? Encourage members to bring their families to events. Encourage events to be more family friendly. Encourage a policy of understanding among the chapters.

One last thing. This is not a slam against Steve’s chorus. I go to extremes to attend events and support my husband and his chorus. I make trade off for child care or ask my parents to drive the 6 hours to our home to baby-sit their 3 grandbabies. For his birthday I sent Steve to Atlanta so that he could attend the convention. I encourage and support Steve to attend barbershop schools and events. I make goodies least once a month for the choruses refreshments, I handmade all the candy they gave out with their singing Valentines, I take the tickets at the door for the afterglow, sell ad space for their program, sell raffle tickets, make food for their bake sales and help out where ever I can. I noticed that when we go places I am one of the only “mommies” there, I went around talking to some of the men who are about the same age as Steve and I and asked them about where their families are, they say that they are just not able to come. I have asked some of our friends to join us at an annual barbershop festival, they usually say “We loved to go but what about the children......there is nothing we can do” . ( When we go to the Festival, I can not attend the whole event either. Sometimes my parents will drive up to meet us at a campground near the festival and mom will watch the kiddos so I can at least attend one of the evening shows and afterglow....If my mother did not come I would not be able to go). Please consider the possibilities of this and encourage others, Children are the future. I hope to be cheering on my sons (third generation barbershoppers-Steve’s dad just join the society) when they are standing on the International Stage competing for gold just like their father dreams some day he will do as well.

Yours in harmony,

Kier Giannuzzi

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