Ponderances!
Have you considered... One liners...
When the enemy is in sight, so are you...

Success almost always occurs in private while failure usually happens in full view.

A clear consience is quite often the sign of a bad memory.

For every action there is an equal and opposite government program.

Very funny Scotty. Now beam down my clothes!

Don't sweat petty things... or pet sweaty things.

Love may be blind, but marriage is a real eye-opener!
Soapbox (or My Opinions)
Coming soon (who listens anyway!)
 
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