Trapped

Issac looked at the phone and sighed. ‘The phones ringing and I don’t even want to pick it up! I know it's her! Doesn’t she have other friends to call?’ He hated the thought of talking to her for another hour about nothing and hearing long pauses. But what was he suppose to do? Just let the poor girl sit on the other side of the phone left hopeless? ‘Okay Ike! Be brave! She’ll grow on you!’

 “Hello?” Issac said picking up the phone, acting as if he didn’t know it was her.

 “Issac! Hey there! What took so long to answer the phone?” her spunky voice wanted to make him hang up on her already.

 “Oh nothing Val! Tay was being a jerk and I was beatin’ on him!” Issac chuckled sarcastically.

 Not hearing the apparent tone of sarcasm Val scolded, “Ike honey! That’s not nice. Taylors your little brother. You should love him. Not beat him!”

 ‘Oh god!’ Issac said to himself, ‘Why am I even bothering with her? She so damn stupid! She couldn’t figure out the difference between a dog and a cat if I drew it out for her! Macki is probably more intelligent. How the hell did I get stuck with her? She looks like a cross between an iguana and a tadpole, she’s so damn skinny! She’ll probably break the next time I touch her!’

 “Ike? Ike! Are you listening to me? Cause if your not...” Her annoying voice broke Issac’s train of disgust.

 “Oh, ah, sorry about that Val, Zac was yaking in the background. I couldn’t quite concentrate. But go on, I’m all ears now.” Issac fibbed, to keep his girlfriend satisfied. Going off in his own little world again, Issac thought to himself, ‘This wouldn’t have happened if it weren’t for my stupid friends! Its there fault I’m stuck in this room with a freak on the other end of the phone. I can’t stand her voice anymore! It sounds like someone’s scratchin’ there nails on a chalkboard. Its even worse than that! I’m not attracted to her, so why does she think I am? Why did I even ask her out? Was I dumb?  I don’t want anything to do with her anymore!’

 “Val, look,” Issac began,” I gotta go now. Dad needs the phone. How ‘bout I see you later?”

 “Later?” Val whined, “But I just called you! How ‘bout I meet you somewhere so we can talk without being disturbed? Like the park?”

 ‘Shit!’ Issac cursed to himself. ‘I don’t want to meet the beast!’  He began to speak out loud formulating a great excuse in his head. “Ahhhh, well Val, me and the gang kinda made plans to play some street hockey later, so I don’t think I can meet you. Sorry.”

 “Issac!” Val complained. “I never see you! Your always working on your music or hangin’ out with your friends! I wanna do somethin’ with you! How ‘bout tomorrow?”

 “Sorry Val, my whole week is booked up! I gotta go, Dad’s pissing his pants, he needs to make an important call! I’ll talk to you later!”

 “Well make sure YOU call me next time! Its always me that’s callin’ you and your giving me the impression that your tryin’ to avoid me!” Val piped.

 ‘Damn straight!’ Issac thought. “Well I’ll try, Val. Bye!”

 “Bye Ikey poo!” Val cooed.

 “Sick!” Issac screamed outloud after he hung up the phone. Looking back, he remembered the day when his life went miserable because of one person. It was a usual day, Taylor, Zac and himself were practicing for there up coming summer tour. When a bunch of the gang came over to hang out. The usual gang consisted of him Tay, Zac, and a couple of neighborhood friends, Ashley, Greg, Ryyan and Fiona.

 “Hey guys!” Zac yelled, jumping on his companions.

 “Hey Ike!” Greg spoke up. “I gotta talk to you about your love life!”

 “Ahww! Ikey poos got a love life!” Taylor mocked.

 “Shut up Tay! I got more of one than you!” Issac joked. “So what ‘bout my love life Greg?”

 “Well...” Greg began.

 “Greg’s cousin, Val, whats to hook up with you!” Ashley jumped in.

 “Greg’s cousin who?” Issac asked with extra attention. Anything that involved a girl deserved his full alertness. “Is she pretty?”

 “Ike!” Fiona shout out, “Thats so shallow! It dosen’t matter if she’s pretty or not! What matters is whats in the inside of the person. Geez! You guys are so superficial these days. What ever happened to liking a girl for their personality?”

 “Calm down Fiona, it was just a question. “ Ryyan responded. “So... do you what to hook up with her or not?”

 “I don’t know guys,” Issac spoke with hesitation, “do I trust you guys? I mean how do I know that she’s not some kind of overly obsessed fan or some freak that’s trying to get closer to Tay or Zac?”

 “Yeah sure Ike! Like thats gonna happen!” Taylor chuckled.

 “Hey, you never know Tay, with these gorgeous looks of mine and all!” Zac quipped.

 “Oh please Zac! You wish!” Greg said, throwing a pillow at his face. He continued, “ So anyways Ike, how ‘bout it? She’s been buggin’ me forever about meeting the ‘Ever So Glamorous and Talented Issac Hanson’. She’s even got my aunt and mom on my back about giving you her number. Will you at least consider meetin’ her to get to know her better?”

 “I’m not gonna just go and meet a stranger and then hook up with her. What do you think I am? Drunk? I have to get to know her better. You know my philosophy, I would rather go out with a friend than a stranger I just met.” Issac said matter of factly.

 “Well you don’t have to hook up with her just yet. I mean, call her, get to know her... then ask her out. Do your old pal Greg a favor and get her off my back for me.”

 “I don’t know Greg. What if she turns out to be a total turn off?” Issac said with uneasiness about the whole idea.

 “Uhhh, thats why you call her first! Dumb ass!” Zac chirped in his best Butt-Head impression.

 “Yah, Ike! Come on. Give it a chance. Whats the worse that could happen?” the rest of the gang encouraged.

 Narrowing his mind back to the present, Issac laughed when he remembered the conversation him and his friends just had two weeks ago. “Whats the worst that could happen? Only my whole life goes down!” he said outload when Taylor walked into the room.

 “What’s wrong with you? Bad hair day?” Taylor joked, obviously aware of his brothers depression.

 “Shut up ass wipe! You just don’t understand!” Issac shot back.

 “Ahhh, I know what the problem is my dear Chewy, it’s Val isn’t it?” Isacc shruged his shoulders and Taylor beagn again, “You don't like her do you Ike?”

 “I don’t know.” Whimpered a blue Issac.

 “Just admitt it! You don’t like her. You can so tell that you don’t like her. You aviod her all the time. I mean I feel sorry for the poor girl. But then again she is annoying! You’ve got it hard big guy!”

 “Tay! I don’t know what to do! I don’t like Val! I only asked her out to get the rest of the guys off my back. I don’t know her and I can barely stand the sight of her. I can’t tell everyone that I want to diss her because everyone thinks I have the same feelings for her that she feels for me.” Issac looked at his best friend with heart wretched eyes. “I just don’t know what to do! I mean, I asked Mom what I should do coming from a girls point of view, but she said to give the relationship time and that it’ll grow on me. Its just not working out!”

 “So what are you going to do? Dump her? I mean, she’s not bad or anything Ike, she’s nice and stuff. She’s just a bit on the slow side. It’s not like she’s vile or somethin’. Give her time!” Taylor assured.

 “I’ve been giving her time ever since I started talking to her. I mean we’re so opposite! We have nothing in common. She likes country music, I hate country with a passion... she just doesn’t care about the world in the same way I do. She rather go shopping on a nice day when I rather sit in the woods and listen to nature. We’re as opposite as Aerosmith and Boyz II Men!” Issac paused for a while and looked at his brother for comfort. “I mean, when I’m on the phone with her, there’s nothing to talk about! All there is are long silent pauses. I have to make the conversations all the time and when I do, we end up talking about the same thing. Stupid stuff like ‘how was your day?’ or ‘what are you doing later on?’ Then she gets mad at me when I can’t make anytime with her because I’m supposidly always working on our music and doing stupid stuff with my friends. She just doesn’t understand me! I’m gonna have to dump her soon Tay.” He contiued in a dead vioce.

 “Ike! She like loves you off! You just can’t drop her like a stick! She was telling Greg the other day on how she thinks your the best thing that happened to her. She really likes you bro!” Taylor protested. He knew how his older brother was feeling. I mean, you couldn’t force a relationship to work if there was nothing there. He knew that Ike wasn’t attracted to Val.He only like her as a friend. But all this relationship needed was time.

 “Tay!” Issac screamed with distriss, “what the hell am I gonna do? I don’t want anything to do with her yet I don’t want to hurt her. I mean its coming down to the point that this whole thing is so bad that it’s bringing me down! I forgetten how to smile ever since Val stepped into my life. I was fine until kept she on calling and calling and calling me. I’m sick of everyone telling me that the relationship will take time and shit! I’ve been giving it time and nothing is happening! No amount of time will make me attracted to her. I just can’t do this anymore! Its to damn fustrating! Nobody understands.” Issac broke down and leaned his head against the wall and shut his eyes. “Fuck this shit!” he mummered in fustration.

 “Issac man, do what you think is right. But consider this, what if you were in Val’s shoes at this very moment? After all, it does take two people to make an effort in a relationship. Not just one.” Taylor sighed and walked out of the room.
 
 “Effort my ass!” Issac groaned outloud. ‘I try more than she does! She’s just a waste of my time. How can something so magical as a relationship turn out like this? I thought couples were suppose to like each other. Suppose to have some kind of natural attraction to each other. Suppose to share something special. So why do I feel this way? Why don’t I like her like she likes me? I don’t even know her. I mean I’m going out with a girl that I don’t know. I probaly know Mr. Dressup more than I know Val. Everyone’s buggin’ me about effort and giving it time. But I just can’t stand it anymore. What kind of relationship am I gonna have if I try to aviod her more than I try to see her? And she likes me so much too! If I dump her, it’ll break her heart and then everyone would be on my back about not trying hard enough to make the relationship work and that I don’t know what I’m doing. But how would they know? They’re not in my shoes! The pressures on me and I just can’t take it anymore. Is this relationship worth all my stress? I can’t take it anymore!’ he continued to think.

 Thoughts ran through Issac’s head like a racing comet about to hit earth. He was so confused and unsettled. Not even words could discribe the monstrousity of the mixed feelings he had. He liked Val but not in a relationship kind of way. There was just no chemistry between the two. Issac though twice about his decision about dropping Val. He didn’t want to hurt her yet he couldn’t take the relationship any longer.

 He was trapped in his own feelings. It was like a wall had barricaded him inside and wouldn’t let him out until he made a final decsion. But how could he? No matter which side he chose, somebody got hurt. And he hated when people hurt. Something inside of him was screaming for him to solve the problem. But was there really a solution to this? Was there really a right answer?

 “Taylor! Come back in here! I really need to talk to you... its important!” Issac yelled, hoping that his best friend would be there for him when he needed him most.

 “What now? Hurrry it up, the hockey games on right now.” Taylor asked irritated while popping into the room.

 “I really need someone to talk to Tay. I can’t take it anymore.” Issacs vioce was filled with distress and was starting to tremble.

 “Not Val again! Ike man, I told you, give the relationship time already. I mean sometimes it seems as if your not even trying. And if it really doesn’t work out then I guess you have no choice than to dump her.” Taylor explained, “I mean you don’t resent her do you?” Taylors soft blue eyes reached into Issac for answers. He looked at his brother and put a hand on his shulders to let him know that he was there for him.

 “No, its nothing like that. I don’t resent her at all. Its a different kind of feeling.” Issac defended, “Its just that we rushed into this whole dating thing that I don’t even know her. I mean, you know me,  I would rather we be friends first and then go out.” He felt the warmth of his brother’s hand on his shoulder and he knew that there was hope.

 “I guess your right. You did rush into this whole girlfriend boyfriend thing kinda fast. Why didn’t you just wait and then ask her out if was so impotant to you?” Taylor responded by taking his hand of Issac’s shoulder and shrugging his shoulders.

 Issacs voice began to raise, “What? Don’t even start with me about this whole idea that I rushed into it. It was you guys that kept on harassing me about this whole thing. You, Zac, Greg and Ryyan! I mean you guys were always making me call her and making me meet her in person. And next thing you know it, you guys practicly asked her out for me.  I didn’t want to go along with it, but no! The four of you guys just couldn’t understand that could you?!” Issac stood up from the chair and looked at his brother. His eyes grew big and his face turned red with rage. He wanted to hit someone or something so bad to get all the hurt inside of him out. But when he looked at Taylor the feeling died down.

 There was a long pause of silence and the two just looked at each other. Taylor hated to get yelled out but in a way he didn’t mind. He didn’t mind being Issac’s personal verbal punching bag. He didn’t mind that he Issac was blaming all his anger at him. It just didn’t bother him like it usually would. He couldn’t help but feel sorry for Issac. Afterall, whatever his older brother felt, he felt to.

  “I’m sorry Tay... I... I just... I didn’t mean to yell.” Issac managed to whimper after an uncomfortable staring contest. He looked down at his feet and sighed.

 “No Ike, I’m sorry. I wasn’t really there for you when you needed me most. I should of noticed something was up with you lately.” Taylor paused for a moment and looked into Issac’s afflicted eyes. “Love hurts dosen’ t it?”

 “It hurts like a bitch! What are you talking about love? There is no love. Where IS the love?” Issac moaned. Taylors face turned red and looked at Issac. Almost at a cue, the two bursted out loud in laughter at issacs little pun, breaking the tension barrier.

 The next day, Taylor walked into their bedroom finding Issac laying in bed staring at the ceiling. “Didn’t get any sleep last night did you?” Taylor pondered.
 
 “How could you tell?”

 “Well I kinda heard you tossing around all night. So... you still thinking about Val?”

 “Yah, I’ve been thinking...  a girl isn’t all my trouble is it? I mean, don’t you think that it be better that I dumped her and told her the truth then hurt her by pretending through out the whole relationship? If you think about it, the relationship was going to have to end sometime.”

 “So your actually going to go through with it all? When are you going to you know... dump her?”

 Issac thought about the question Taylor threw at him. His quick and simple response was, “Tommorrow. When the time is right. Its just that... Tay, I’m sacred. I don’t wanna hurt Val. She’ll be so heart broken. She’s really a sensitive girl and.. I know, I just know that the guys are gonna bug the crap outa me! I can see it now. They’re all gonna be on my back about this. I can see already Greg going, ‘Issac, you little pussy, why you dissin my family?’ or, ‘Why did you dump her? You think you’re to good for her or somethin’?’” Issac made a mimcking face. Just then the phone rang, startling the two in their troublesome conversation.

 ‘Great! Watch, knowing my luck it’ll be her!’ Issac thought to himself. He took a deep breath and answered the phone. “Hello?”

 “Hi Issac! Guess who?” it was Val.

 ‘Gee, I don’t know! Could it be En Vouge?’ Issac thought sarcasticly. “Is it Val?”

 “You betcha! So what are you doing?” an eager Val asked.

 “Well, umm... I was kinda on the other line with a friend, do you think I can call you back later?” Issac lied.

 “Ahhh, okay... So ... I guess I’ll see you later.” Val’s voice dropped a tone and it sounded as if the hand of God had ripped out her uplifting spirits.

 “Ike! You idiot! Why did you lie to her? That was so arrogant!” Taylor scoled after Issac hung up the phone.

 “Shut up! I don’t wanna talk to her knowing that I’m gonna dump her. I feel guilty enough. Just leave me be!”

 “Whatever Ike, just do what you wanna do. I wouldn’t be suprised if everyone jumped on you for being so rude to Val. I mean, you didn’t have to lie to her! I wouldn’t be suprised if she dumped you first, but then again, with your attitude, you’re not worth all the trouble.” Taylor said coldly.

 Issac was in shock. He couldn’t believe it, his own brother, his best friend, his own flesh and blood was taking his girlfriend’s side. It was like he had taken his reason and filled him with doubt. His mouth dropped and looked him squarly in the eyes, “Take it back Tay!”

 “No! Why would I? Your being so selfish in this relationship. I mean your being so shallow that you can’t even talk to her on the phone anymore. I mean sure, if your gonna dump her then dump her but still, its no excuse for ignoring her like that! You’r e so full of bull shit Ike!” Taylor screamed and left the room to relax.

 “Bull shit this!” Issac mumered, giving the finger to his brother even though he knew he couldn’t see it. ‘I’m not being the selfish one. At least I’m trying. I least I gave val a chance and at least I gave an effort to hold her hand.’ Issac thought. This was all to much for him. He took a long breath and sighed. ‘None of this would of happened fi Val was so attracted to me. I mean I’m just me. Whats there to like so much?’ He put his head down on his pillow and closed his eyes.

 “Ike honey, there’s someone here to see you!” issac sprung up in his bed. The vioce of his mom calling him had awaken him to face reality. He looked at his watch abd realized he had only drifted off for an hour. Which was not enough time to make up for the lost sleep he had last night. He dragged himself out of bed and reluctently made it down the stairs.

 When he reached the front foyer of their house, he stopped dead in his tracks. Thinking he was still dreaming he managed to utter, “Val, what are you doing here?”

 “Issac, we’ve gotta talk.”

 ‘Oh great,” Issac thought, ‘What is it with girls and talking so much. And why the hell did she have to come over? Hadn’t she ever heard of a phone?’ “Ah, sure, what about?” The two stayed in the foyer in front of the door where they were alone.

 “I came over to talk about us. I would of called but you’re always too busy to talk on the phone.” Val continued, “I’m sensing that... that... Ike, are you bored of our relationship? I mean, do you feel that i’m not paying enough attention to you or that I’m ignoring you? Cause you seem so distant around me.”

 Shock had absorbed into issac’s body, It had grabbed him so off gaurd that he didn’t know what to say. ‘Oh my god! She’s actually confronting me about us. Should I dump her now? Or should I wait till later? But wait, if I tell her that I think that the relationship is going fine and then dump her the next day, that would look really bad! Oh god! Why did she have to confront me? Okay Ike, its time to face reality and dump her. Now.’ Issac looked at Val’s face. He didn’t want to hurt her but he couldn’t play cherades any longer. “Actually Val, I was kinda thinkin’ that we shouldn’t see each other anymore.”

 Val’s face went blank. “Oh... well... I... you... okay.” Her voice was dead and sans her usual chirpiness. Her eyes went red and her her cheeks pale as the wall. She turned around and headed out the door, walking into the sunlight.

 “Val, wait!” Issac called after her. ‘I can’t believe I just did that! I feel so bad! I can’t believe I hurt her so bad! Ike, you’re such an idiot! I feel like such a bastard. She looks so hurt!’

 He ran out the door and caught up to Val. “Val, its not you. Its me. Don’t blame yourself. Please?” issac pleaded.

 Val’s hurt eyes turned around and looked at issac for a moment and without hesitation said spiritless, “Is that your excuse? That its all you and not me?”

 “Its not an excuse! Its a reason Val! Listen to me... I just feel that this relationship was goign nowhere and we kinda rushed into this dating thing. I mean I barely know you and I just don’t want to rush into things. Please, don’t be mad.” Issac looked at the floor with shame then at Val. Her eyes were red with furry and it sent a chill up his spine. She looked so hurt that it wanted to make issac break down on the sidewalk and cry.

 “Fine. But don’t start on the bull shit of you still wanting to be my friend. Cause, not even a friend can hurt me this bad!” Val spoke in an undertone. She looked at her hands and turned around not wanting to let Issac know that he had hurt her. Not wanting to let him know that she ached with disapiontment and unbearable anxiety.

 Issac watched her fragile body walk down the road. Her legs trembled with uneasiness and he hated the sight of it. Not wanting to see the hurt in her, he turned around and returned home. When he got to the front door steps, he didn’t want to go in. He just wanted to be alone and not bothered by constant bickering, So he took a seat on the front lawn under the innocent sunshine. ‘She looked so hurt!’ he thought, ‘I can’t believe I actually went though with it. I feel like such a jerk. I totally bruised her spirit. So this is how it feels. I’ve been waiting for this momot for the past few days. The momonet when I actually got to dump her and my world would be sans Val. So now that I did, how come I feel so bad? I thought I would be happy when I dumped her but why do I feel so horrible? I feel like such a fool! I wish I didn’t hurt her so bad! I just wish she dumped me first!’

 Issac looked at the grass beneath him. He couldn’t believe it. The barricades that were built inside of him were still there. Even after he made a desicion, they wouldn’t leave him. Instead, they stayed, and it made him even more miserable. More guilty. More hopeless. He got up from the earth and walked into the house. He needed to find somebody and talk. He needed to share his pain. He needed to vent out his mixed feelings. Most important of all, he needed to knock down the barricades. He felt horrible and couldn’t understand why. He felt more lost then anthing now. More confused and more and more alone than ever.

 When he walked into the foyer, his eyes were focused on the floor. He really needed sombody right now. Somebody, just to sit and listen to his pain. Somebody’s presence so he wouldn’t feel alone. But who would want to listen to him? He was being such a jerk. Even Taylor was on Vals side. The thought of Taylor made Issac’s heart ache. He loved his little brother and it pained him to see him mad at him.
 ‘Why would Taylor want to talk to me now? I’m being a total asshole! He just told me that I was being selfish. And Taylor never calls somebody something unless it were true. Maybe I am being selfish. Maybe Taylors right. Maybe I didn’t deserve Val. Maybe I don’t deserve anybody, not even Tay. I wouldn’t blame him if he never wants to talk to me agian. I wouldn’t blame anyone. Taylor,’ Issac thought, ‘I need you!’ Just the thought that he was in this alone made him want to cry out in pain. He could feel it, everybody was talking bad about him for being so harsh. Everybody just didn’t understand. Everybody wasn’t there for him when he need them.

 Exhausted, Issac looked up, and expected nothing but shame and guilt to greet him. But instead what he found made his essences go numb. A pair of pale blue eyes, as pale as the mornig sky, greeting him. “Hey.. I...  I thought you could maybe use a shoulder to lean on.” Taylor smiled.

      The End