Blur vs Oasis? Pah. Chester refuses to subscribe to a hyped-up media battle with absolutely no grounding. "They're incomparable!" we cry with no avail. "Why can't we like them both?!" we weep as the Chester camp divides. We show you where the real comparisons are at - contained within the musical progression of each band, separate from their rivals. The self-contained inner battle rages...

NB: The following is a selection of quotes and lyrics taken completely out of context so that they satisfy the author's negative attitude. She loves both the bands dearly and is simply jealous of their talent, success and looks, of which, she has none.

Oasis vs Oasis Blur vs Blur

"The next LP may well be more accomplished, and contain some of the best stuff about being a pop star since Ian Hunter..." Review of Definitely Maybe, Select, September 1994

By God, Select were right. They may have put Lenny Kravitz and Guns 'n' Roses on the cover many years ago, but they couldn't have been more accurate in foreseeing the direction of (What's The Story) Morning Glory? Oasis' latest outing is certainly more accomplished than its predecessor and is more mature in its songwriting, but moreover, it concentrates on the "landslide" ("Champagne Supernova") that has been the last year for Liam and the boys. It's about being a pop star...

See, who says that cigarettes don't lead to harder drug use, girls and boys? The everyman in Definitely Maybe found all he needed in smoking fags and drinking beer, unlike our pop stars of "Morning Glory" who use "whatever powders they can dust their nasal cavities with" (NME, 4 June 1994). Noel Gallagher once complained that Suede wrote songs that the man on the street neither understood nor related to, eg "Animal Nitrate". Well, bugger me if Noel hasn't gone all Brett Anderson on us...

Has fame affected Oasis' immortality? Could it be that the sing-along outlandishness of "Live Forever" has been quashed by the fatalistic reality of "Champagne Supernova"? Somehow, a chorus of "You and I / We live and die" with your mates as you walk from the pub in the early hours just doesn't have that ring to it...

Articulation is not something that improves with flippin' great wadgers of cash and illicit substances, obviously. Rather than convey his feelings using complex metaphor and literary allusion, Noel writes songs about the inability to express his thoughts, which is always a favourable alternative...

A man's entitled to change his opinion. Even if it's a complete reversal of assessment in the space of, what, three months?

Unfair maybe, as Liam made the comment and Noel wrote the lyrics, but ultimately it was Liam who was the "some guy singing".

So, what *did* Blur come up with? Parklife Take 2? More like, Parklife Take 2 deep breaths 'cause this is going to be a long haul. Damon Albarn in June: "We've made another pop album, but it's not as chirpy". Chirpy? I'd call it about as morose as a record can be while still being called pop. Whereas musically, The Great Escape certainly matches, if not, betters Parklife, lyrically, it's a whole other world altogether. The Geezer of Parklife has turned a bit nasty and the globe has become so unbearable that we're all trying to get away - the great escape...

Back on Modern Life is Rubbish, where life in London wasn't even that bad, people were wanting to, but were unable to get away. I wonder if Damon ever found his holiday in the sun - I hear Australia's nice this time of year...

At least dumb, innocent Bill Barret of "Magic America" was able to accept farcical America (and his burger) and be happy with it. Dan Abnormal, who "watches TV" (obviously Falling Down is on heavy rotation chez Abnormal) is Bill Barret's evil counterpart in the world of The Great Escape, and let's be frank, it's Damon himself - by his own admission too! I applaud him for his honesty, and then I put Parklife back on...

Damon, over the course of a year has his laddish dreams destroyed (my guess is that is was his endearing doe-eyes that failed him) and then manages to speak as if he never *really* wanted to be lad anyway, and he always *knew* that he would never be considered a new lad. You're not fooling anyone, you necklace wearing, lipgloss toting big girl's blouse...

Well, well, well, it's all very big and clever to pretend that you don't care about some scungy American topping himself, and having the hide to call someone's suicide a farce, but then to turnaround and very fashionably weep for His Passing is a bit Sinead O'Connor, isn't it? It was probably just the nervous breakdown talking, hey Damon...

Tabitha Carvan