Longpigs (L-R): , Crispin Hunt,

Ahh youth, callow youth. You're young, bulletproof, impervious to life's many slings, with time on your side and your future laid out before you. Then suddenly all your dreams crumple in a mangled mess under the back of a truck. This is exactly what happened after Crispin managed to plough himself and the rest of the `Pigs under a lorry whilst driving on one of England's infamous motorways. Fortunately, for the band, and certainly for Crispin, who lay comatose for three days after, sanity and health prevailed, but not without struggling with reality, as well as losing that sense of magic life can sometimes bring. But wait! What if you take a human being and think of it as a pig, only longer (hence the name of the band)? And besides, ask any cannibal and he'll tell you human flesh tastes like pork (shows how much I know, I thought everything tasted like chicken). Yeah, okay, that's your sanity restored then.

That's about as mystical as Longpigs get, though, once the music starts, it's a different story. A list as long as your arm including Radiohead, The Verve, any one who ever wrote a song from their heart rather then from beer. So it stands as I get to talking with `Pigs bass player, Simon Stafford...

"Where you from again?"

The Scene. (Ed: This interview was conducted and first published in Brisbane street paper the Scene. Thanks Scene!)

"Well hello to The Scene"

Er, hello. Let's get down to it then. I first heard of the Longpigs a couple of years ago via a compilation tape which had a different version of your song, Jesus Christ. It was a joint venture NME put out with Polydor to cross-pollinate some of the label's old stuff with the newer.

"It seems loads of people heard that tape, but I guess the NME does have a high circulation."

You were in some esteemed company there. The Velvet Underground, The Who, Jimi Hendrix, er, Shed Seven.

" Ha. Yeah it was a weird compilation all right, but we were very flattered to be on it."

I remember hearing this song thinking exactly what the title said, a fair lot of feeling here, then.

"Yeah well, that particular song is all about , you know, WOW!, "Jesus Christ I'm on fire when you smile" We tend to let the songs take us, though, rather than imbuing any particular emotion into them consciously. We don't really have a "sound"- we just go with the songs. When we were recording the album, and we'd be doing a slow song, we'd end up all depressed and vice-versa with the happier ones. Some songs took a day or two to get in the mood for."

I see the band actually existed before it contained actual members.

"What, in some sort of cosmic pre-life?"

Ha, no, I mean literally.

"Oh, yeah. Crispin was sending demos out to all sorts of record labels and he got a few favourable responses, some offers to come and see the band play, so he thought, shit, better get a band together then. He went to France to get this guy called Dee Boyle who used to drum in Cabaret Voltaire and grabbed Richard (Hawley) for guitar. I'd known Crispin for about two years and one night at a party he asked me to play bass, which I'd never played before, and that was it. We'd been going for three months when Electra came into the picture and we got a deal but we lost it when their UK office closed. All our stuff we'd done was tied up in all this legal crap, so we got this lawyer and convinced them we'd split up in order to get over this and move on."

I guess it was around this time you guys had that horrific accident. That must have been something, especially considering you all got out of it alive. "That type of thing can usually do two things to you. You get shit-scared and you realise this death thing can happen at any time. With me it made me more enthusiastic about life. I can remember not long after, seeing this Irish folk band in a pub, and I don't usually like Irish folk bands, but I remember thinking fucking hell, this is great."

In parts of the album, stuff like Radiohead come to mind. Is it annoying to hear yourselves compared to other bands?

"We don't get it so much now because we're more known in our own right these days but when you first start out you're always going to be compared because people want to know what you're like."

It's not a "Noelrock" album by any means, not a lads album, is it?

"I'm glad you said that. It's supposed to be music you can shag to as well as dance to. That's the thing with a lot of Britpop stuff. People only dance to it. This can go on the stereo when you're shagging as well. I like to think so anyhow."

I can see that.

"Have you tried it then?"

Well erm...

"That's a bit of a personal question. You don't have to answer that one."

Er, okay. So. Sheffield. Home of Pulp and the mighty Sheffield Wednesday football team. Nice looking town but is it as bad as Jarvis sometimes makes out?

"Yes and no, really. Jarvis had a hard time here, spending 12 years without any recognition, so I can't blame him for being a little disillusioned, but even though I'm from London it's not too bad here."

Well, despite Simon's hungover state (He'd had a big night at the pub the night before, you see) that's the start of the Longpigs story. Where it ends up is anyone's guess but with all things considered you'd expect that life for the band, having already been threatened with extinction, has far more to offer yet. Long life to the Longpigs.

Clem