Kirk Hammett Really Sucks!

If you're a fan of Metallica and Kirk Hammett, then you may be offended by what this page has to say...then again, if you REALLY like Kirk Hammett as a musician, you need to hear what I have to say about the most over-rated, hyped up, untalented hack that the world of heavy metal guitar has ever had the misfortune of calling one of its own. You need to hear how much he really sucks and why you've been wasting your time and money being a fan of his. And here are the reasons:

Reason #1: Kirk had very little to do with the success of Metallica!

The only reason why he got to where he is today is because the real backbone of Metallica, James Hetfield and Lars Ulrich, wrote great songs to begin with. All Kirk had to do was to come in and play his mostly mediocre-at-best solos over them. And just because of this minimal contribution, he becomes a huge guitar hero. Well, I got news for you: He SUCKS!

Reason #2: He's a VERY over-rated guitarist who does the same old sh*t over and over again!

How much longer are fans gonna take his repetition of the same old formula over and over again? Since the Metallica album Load, all he's been doing is playing double-stops and unison bends through an annoying wah wah. Well I, for one, am getting sick and tired of hearing a crappy wah wah solo on just about each and every song. He thinks he's some kinda blues-influenced, Jimi Hendrix/Stevie Ray Vaughan throwback. He even states in his interviews with magazines such as Guitar Player and Guitar World that blues players such as Stevie Ray Vaughan or Albert King and jazz greats such as John Coltrane are his main influences these days. Well, if that's the case, then how come all he does are the same old pentatonic licks through a wah wah

time and time again? Does he think that he can add crediblity to what he's doing just by stating that he's influenced by great jazz and blues musicians? You would think that a former student of the great Joe Satriani would be able to come up with lead guitar parts that are a lot better. One would never guess by listening to this lame excuse for a metal guitar player that the same person (i.e. Satriani) that taught him also taught Steve Vai and Alex Skolnick (formerly of Testament), two guitarists that kick Kirk's lame ass all the way to moon! Stop trying to be a blues player, Kirk Hamster! At least back when he was trying to be a heavy metal shredder (on albums such as Master of Puppets and ...And Justice For All), his leads had a minimal amount of flair and excitement. If he happens to be your guitar hero and inspiration for taking up the instrument, you need some guidance!

Reason #3: He looks like a male prostitute!

Does he really think that he looks good with his "mafia" suits, stupid piercings and cigars? He looks like he's suffering from cancer or something. And what's with the f**ed up hairstyles? I thought Metallica wasn't about fashion. And they weren't, at least not until 1996 when they decided to sell out and not make kick-ass metal albums anymore, 'cause all the time and effort it took them to make Metallica (a.k.a. "The Black Album") made them feel like they could never come up with an album of such high standards again. Stop looking like a cross between a clown and a pimp! Get a damn makeover! If you're not gonna come up with some decent lead guitar parts ever again, then at least look dignified instead of looking like a gay prostitute! And stop making out with other band members in group photos!

Well, there are my reasons. Now if you're still wasting your time trying to learn this sorry excuse for a lead guitarist's limp, lifeless solos, then I suggest you do youself a favor and check out these other competent and creative guitarists: