Larry-Boy and the Last Crusade by Timothy L. Crabtree

Introduction


Setting: A Kitchen Counter

Bob: Hi kids! Welcome to VeggieTales! I'm Bob the Tomato...

Larry: And I'm Larry the Cucumber!

Bob: We're here to help you and answer your questions. (To Larry) Larry, did you see any letters in the mail this morning?

Larry: Nope, but I did get a fax--

Bob: (Interupting) "A facts?" Shouldn't that be "a fact" or "the facts?"

Larry: I guess this is what happens when you leave a tomato in the refrigerator too long.

Bob: Hey! I represent that remark!

Larry: As I was saying, I got a fax this morning from Little Johnny in Phoenix, Arizona. He said there's this really cool SporkMan action figure at Sporks 'R' Us. He doesn't have enough money to buy it, but is thinking of taking it from the store without paying for it.

Bob: Ooo... Stealing isn't good. Do we have any stories that can help him out?

Larry: It just happens that the same thing happened to Teddy once.

Bob: Who?

Larry: You'll see. Larry-Boy deals with thieves all the time. Now grab your popcorn and turn off the lights and get ready for "Larry-Boy and the Last Crusade!"

(Fade to black.)
Scene 1

Setting: A desert just outside of the Bumblyburg area.

Time: Several years ago.

(Fade in. Titles appear on-screen as the camera pans downward from above onto a caravan of Veggie Scouts riding on donkeys. They are returning from a week-long camping trip.)

(Cut to Larry at the end of the caravan.. Larry is several years younger at this time. Looking very sore from riding on that donkey for several hours, Larry looks down to find that his peanut butter and jelly sandwich is missing. Larry looks up in shock to see a small pea running off with it, carrying it on his head.)

Larry: (Whispering to a young Alfred) Alfred! That pea just stole my lunch! Let's go after him while our the scout leader's not looking!

Alfred: (Whispering to Larry) I don't think...

Larry: (Whispering to a young Alfred)No time for thinking Alfred. I've got work to do!

(While Mr. G�rd, the Foreign-Exchange Veggie Scout Leader, looks away to try to swat the fly that's been following his donkey for miles now, Larry and Alfred quickly dash off to chase the pea that stole his sandwich.)

(The chase ended at the entrance of a small cave. The pea went in at the larger entrance. Larry found a smaller entrance that was around at the other side of the rocky-desert mountain. This entrance led Larry to a look-out just above where the pea and some other peas were counting the stolen baked goods that they had collected that day.)


Jean-Claude: (To Phillipe) Oh! Wee have gotten oos a nice leetle profit today, have vee not, Phillipe?

Phillipe: (To Jean-Claude) Oui, oui! Vee weel not go hungree for a long time!

(Larry eyes his peanut butter and jelly sandwich on the table below him. While the peas are busy talking about their robberies that day, Larry quickly snatches the sandwich, but Phillipe sees him snatching it.)

Phillipe: (To Jean-Claude) Eh, eesn't that thee guy you toook thee sandweech from?

Jean-Claude: (To Phillipe) Yes, eet ees. (To Larry) You silee leetle peeckle, weel you please geeve us that sandweech back?


Larry: (To Jean-Claude) Uhm, I'm a cucumber.

Jean-Claude: (To Larry) Whatev�r! You steel have my sandweech!

Larry: (To Jean-Claude) This peanut butter and jelly sandwich belongs in a museum!!! (Larry takes off out of the cave to find Alfred still waiting for him.) (To Alfred) Go find the group Alfred! I'll catch up with you later!

Alfred: (To Larry) Wh-what's wrong?!? Are those fiends after... (Before Alfred finishes, the donkey gets startled and runs back towards the city with Alfred screaming on his back.)

Larry: (Shouting to Alfred) No time now Alfred!!! I'll explain later!!! (Larry runs toward a circus train and leaps onto the caboose. He quickly shuts the door and locks it. The peas, who have followed him, are banging on the door trying to break it down. Unfortunately for Larry, this caboose only has that one door. Larry searches for another exit, but all he could find was the toilette, which he wasn't going to flush himself down. Larry finds two plungers near the toilette and grabs them just before the peas break down the door.)

Phillipe: (To Larry) You better geeve oos back our leetle sandweech or... (Larry throws a plunger into each of their faces, cutting short Phillipe's speech) Mmmph! Mmmm mmmm mmmm mmmm!

Larry: (To self as he dashes out the door and hopping off the train and running back towards home) Those plungers saved me! I may be able to use them again in the future to defeat evil! (Cut to Larry's home. Larry realises that the peas somehow managed to see through those plungers and were hopping towards Larry's house.) (To father) Dad! I'm being chased by a couple of peas that are trying to steal my peanut butter and jelly sandwich!!!

Father Cucumber: (To Larry) Stop daydreamin' for once. Now go outside and play for a change. I'm really into this book by this new author, Billy the Graham Cracker. Let me read it in peace.

(Larry realises that he won't be able to argue with his father. Larry dashes out the door only to run into the peas again. Jean-Claude hears Larry screaming close to him and turns his head around, bringing the brown, wooden handle towards Larry's face)

Scene 2

Setting: A boat on a rainy night

Time: Years Later

(Cut to scene on a boat, many years later. The handle of the plunger comes into contact with Larry-Boy's face.)

Jean-Claude: (To Larry-Boy) Now I weel take that sandweech from you. Good day, silee peekle! (Jean-Claude and Phillipe turn around to leave.)

Larry-Boy: (Hurling himself on top of Jean-Claude and Phillipe) That peanut butter and jelly sandwich belongs in a museum!

Jean-Claude and Phillipe: Aaaaaaaa!!! (Larry-Boy dispenses the rope from his utility belt and ties them together so tight that they can't move their arms.)
Phillipe: Meest�r Narrator, sir? Vee don't have anee arms!

(Narrator apologizes. Scene fades to...)

Jean-Claude: And while ve're at eet, why do you mees speel every leetle theeng vee say?
(Diction! Can we get on with the story?)
Jean-Claude: Oh. Yes. Go right ahead.

(Fade to scene 3)

Scene 3

Setting: Front steps of Bumblyburg's city hall

(A large mass is gathered in front of the front steps that lead up to the Bumblyburg City Hall. They have gathered to watch the Chief of Police award Larry-Boy for protecting the city once again from crime during another Larry-Boy celebration.)

Scooter: (To Larry-Boy) I would like to applaud you for your superb heroic deeds to keep this city safe once again, but I've gut no hands. So as chief of police, I would like to award you with this medal as a wee! (Crowd cheers as Scottie presents the medal. As Scooter pins the medal on Larry-Boy, a face of great pain comes over Larry-Boy, but it quickly vanishes.)

Henry: (Shouting to Larry-Boy from the back of the crowd) Bein' a coal miner from West Virginia, I don't git to see what's happenin' above me much. I reckon you won't mind to tell us how this all started?

Scooter: (To Larry-Boy) Ya! I would like to hear it to, if you don't mind telling us a wee bit about it.

Larry-Boy: It all started many years ago when I was just a little Veggie Scout...

(Cut to hours later. Scooter and most of the crowd have fallen asleep. As the story comes to an end, Scottie and the crowd slowly begins to wake up.)
Larry-Boy: ...and that's how I got my peanut butter and jelly sandwich back after all these years!

Scooter: (To Larry-Boy, sleepily) Larry-Boy, sometime before I fell a-- I mean started resting my eyes a wee bit, I noticed you said that your peanut butter and jelly sandwich belongs in a museum. Could you tell me why you think this?

Larry-Boy: (To Scottie) I dunno.

Scooter: Well, that's ok. I'd like to now present you with two tickets to the Billy the Graham Cracker Crusade at the Bumblyburg Baseball Stadium next Thursday! It's the wee least that we can do. Billy the Graham Cracker will throw the first pitch!

Larry-Boy: Oh, boy! Thank you! (Larry-Boy looks to the sky and sees the Larry-Signal) I've got to go. Someone needs me! (Larry-Boy hops into his Larry-Mobile and speeds off towards Larry Monor.) (Cut to scene 4)

Scene 4

Setting: Larry-Boy's mansion

(The Larry-Mobile speeds into the Larry-Lair. Larry hops out and quickly rushes to Alfred, who is waiting for his return.)

Larry-Boy: What's the trouble now, Alfred?

Alfred: I'm sorry. I'm afraid I accidently hit a button while dusting the computer. Accidents do happen, you know!

Larry-Boy: That's okay. I'd rather that happen than somebody getting hurt.

Alfred: So how did things go at the ceremony?

Larry-Boy: Great! They even gave me two tickets to the Billy the Graham Cracker Crusade on Thursday! You wanna go with me? Billy's throwing the first pitch!

Alfred: Well, there's no robberies or attacks by huge space aliens scheduled for that day, so I guess I can make it!

Larry-Boy: Great! Make sure you get all of our Baseball gear ready!


Scene 5

Time: Next Thursday

Setting: The Bumblyburg Stadium

(Larry-Boy and Alfred are walking down the steps to their seats, holding popcorn, Cracker Jacks, Hot Dogs, and various souveniers.)

Larry-Boy: Oh boy! I haven't had this much fun since I had air conditioning installed in the Larry-Mobile! I've always wanted to see Billy the Graham Cracker. Did you know that my father has been reading his stuff since his first book was published?

Alfred: Yes. I think this is the the twenty-seventh time you've mentioned it since we left for here.

Larry-Boy: There's the first pitch now! Hurry! Let's get to our seats!

Scene 6

Setting: Interior of a UFO hovering in the clouds over Bumblyburg

Mr. Lunt: Hey, boss! This is a nice ship you built here!

Mr. Nezzer: Yes, and it will be I, Teddy V. Nezzer, who will be the first Nezzer to not go soft, unlike my cousins, Nebby K. and Wally P. Nezzer.

Mr. Lunt: I remember theem vereeee well. I wonder why I keep workeeng for Nezzers? They never ween.

Mr. Nezzer: It has something to do with the script. I think money has an awful lot to do with it too.

Mr. Lunt: Oh, yeah. Thanks for reminding me, boss. Well, eef this job turns out like thee others, at least I have a secure job with those love songs now that Larry's out of the picture.

Mr. Nezzer: You can never be so sure about that.

Mr. Lunt: Hey, boss! What are we doeeng again?

Mr. Nezzer: We will fly this ship over the Bumblyburg Stadium and kidnap Billy the Graham Cracker during the middle of his crusade while he's on stage. We'll do this by beaming him on board this spaceship. When I tell you to press that red button over there, press it. Oh boy oh boy! I've always have wanted my own private crusade! I'm feeling lucky tonight! Nobody can stop me now!

Mr. Lunt: Hey, boss! We're over the field now. The baseball game's over and Billy the Graham Cracker is in the middle of his presentation on stage!

Mr. Nezzer: Great! Now press the button!

Scene 7

Setting: The Bumblyburg Stadium

(Mr. Nezzer's UFO appears over the stage. A beam of light appears over Billy the Graham Cracker. Billy disappears.)

Larry-Boy: Wow! Billy even has special effects now! It's almost like watching a VeggieBoys concert!

Scene 8

Setting: Police HQ

Scottie: Great scot! Billy's been kidnapped! Larry-Boy! We need Larry-Boy!

Scene 9

Setting: The Bumblyburg Stadium

Larry-Boy: (Staring at the Larry-Signal in the sky) It looks like this was no special effect. This looks like a job for Larry-Boy! Consider this crusade postponed! Alfred, you go back and keep an eye out for anything unusual while I drive around Bumblyburg looking for clues.

Scene 10

Setting: The Larry-Mobile

Alfred: (On the monitor) Larry-Boy! Have you found any clues to what might have happened to Billy?

Larry-Boy: No, I haven't, but I did pass the "Weird Al" Veggievic band on the street! Would you like to see the picture that we took together?

Alfred: Uhm, not right now. We need to find Billy!

Larry-Boy: I've been driving around all day and have found nothing. What do you think I should do now?

Alfred: Well, if my calculations are correct, and they usually are, that UFO is not on the ground, but in the sky! Press the yellow button!

(Larry-Boy pushes the yellow button. The Larry-Mobile exposes its wings and flies off.)

Scene 11

Setting: The UFO

Mr. Nezzer: It worked! I now have Billy the Graham Cracker all for myself. Now, Billy, what do you have to say now?

Billy: Unhand me! Take me back! There's many people that need help down there, just like you!

Mr. Nezzer: I don't need help. Do you think that Dr. Archibald helped that poor soul with his lip problem? If he couldn't him help then, he wouldn't be able to help me now! (To Harry) Harry, go take Billy away and lock him up! (Harry, a penguin, comes in, lifts Billy over his head and takes him out of the room.)

Scene 12

Setting: Skies above Bumblyburg

Larry-Boy: Alfred! I see something!

Alfred: (On monitor) What is it?

Larry-Boy: It's a space ship! I see no place where I can enter. I'll need to eject myself! Super-suction ears AWAY!!!

(Larry-Boy ejects himself from the Larry-Wing. As he flies out, one of his ears pops out and sticks to the side of the UFO. Larry-Boy pulls himself to the top of the UFO. Meanwhile, the Larry-Wing crashes into a field of grazing sheep. The crash destroyed a lot of grass, but the sheep were saved!)

(Larry-Boy searches for a way to get in. He finds no entrance still. He takes a can opener from his belt and uses it to make a hole in the ship big enough for him to fit through.)

Scene 13

Setting: Interior, UFO

(Once inside, Larry-Boy finds Mr. Nezzer alone in the control room.)

Larry-Boy: (To Mr. Nezzer) What have you done with Billy?!?!?!

Mr. Nezzer: I'm afraid he's no longer with us. You see--

Larry-Boy: (Flying through the air to pounce on Mr. Nezzer) NOOOOOOOOOO!!!

Mr. Nezzer: I didn't harm him! Get off me and I'll explain! (Larry-Boy gets off Mr. Nezzer) Thank you. You see, I had tied Billy up and was forcing him to make this his last crusade. I wanted this last one to be all for me. But then he started telling me about how stealing was wrong. I may have wanted it all for myself, but he made me realise that I had to share what he was telling me to everybody. Some may even need to hear what he has to say more than I do. I asked him to forgive me for taking him away from all those people and I went back and let him continue the crusade, already in progress. I have changed. I was foolish to think my cousins were stupid and weak. Now, will you forgive me for making a wrong decision.

Larry-Boy: Yeah. I'm just glad that you have changed. Now, would you like to join me for the rest of the crusade?

Mr. Nezzer: I sure would!

Scene 14

Setting: Bumblyburg Stadium

(Camera pans out as we see Larry-Boy, Alfred, Mr. Nezzer, Mr. Lunt, and Harry enjoying the crusade together. Fade to black.)
End

Setting: Kitchen Counter

Bob: Another member of the Nezzer family has been taught a good lesson!

Larry: He sure did! Even without the help of Larry-Boy, which is pretty unusual. (Larry, in his Larry-Boy costume, starts crying.)

Bob: Don't worry. Maybe Larry-Boy can help in his next adventure.

Larry: You think so?

Bob: Sure! Let's see if Qwerty has a scripture for us.

Voices: And so what we have learned applies to our lives today, God has a lot to say in his book.

Bob: When will the madness stop?!?!?!

Voices: And we know that God's Word is for everyone and now that our song is done we'll take a look.

Larry: (Larry turns around and reads the screen) "got milk?" You see kids, the Dairy Farmers of America wants us to--

Bob: Uhm, Larry? That's the television.

Larry: Oh.

Bob: (Reading from Qwerty's screen) "Thou Shalt Not Steal. Exodus 20: 15" You see, Johnny, God gave Moses this comandment to share with everybody. He wants all of us to follow His commandments and if you steal, that would be disobeying God. But if you do disobey, He will always forgive you if you ask for forgiveness and if you truly mean it, just as Billy the Graham Cracker and Larry-Boy forgave Mr. Nezzer when he asked. Well, that's all the time we have for today. And remember: God made you special.

Larry: And He loves you very much!

Bob: Bye!

Larry: Bamboo!!!

The End.