Mean Mr. Mustard ( J. Lennon, P. McCartney ) Mean mr. Mustard sleeps in the park, Shaves in the dark, trying to save paper. Sleeps in a hole in the road; Saving up to buy some clothes; Keeps a ten bob note up his nose. Such a mean old man, Such a mean old man. His sister Pam works in a shop, She never stops, she's a go getter. Takes him out to look at the Queen; Only place that he's ever been. Always shouts out something obscene. Such a dirty old man, Dirty old man.