The Preacher, the Politician, the Teacher, Were each of them once a kiddie. A child, indeed, is a wonderful creature. Do I want one? God Forbiddie! -- Ogden Nash


Top 5 reasons computers must be female
5. As soon as you have one, a better one is just around the corner.
4. No one but the creator understands the internal logic.
3. Even your smallest mistakes are immediately committed to memory
for future reference.
2. The message "Bad Command or File Name" is about as informative as
"IF you don't know why I am mad at you, then I am certainly
not going to tell you."
1. As soon as you make a commitment to one, you spend half your
paycheck on accessories for it. ....AND YOU ARE STILL LOOKING?


"Reality is that which, when you stop believing in it, doesn't go away". -- Philip K. Dick

America may be unique in being a country which has leapt from barbarism
to decadence without Touching civilization. -- John O'Hara

Never worry about theory as long as the machinery
does what it's supposed to do. -- R. A. Heinlein

It may be bad manners to talk with your mouth full, but it
isn't too good either if you speak when your head is empty.

Once the realization is accepted that even between the closest human beings
infinite distances continue to exist, a wonderful living side by side can
grow up, if they succeed in loving the distance between them which makes it
possible for each to see each other whole against the sky. -- Rainer Rilke

If you want your spouse to listen and pay strict attention
to every word you say, talk in your sleep.

Due to circumstances beyond your control, you are master
of your fate and captain of your soul.

Those of you who think you know everything are very annoying
to those of us who do.

Let me not to the marriage of true minds admit impediments.
Love is not love which alters when it alteration finds
- Shakespeare, Sonnet 116

The face of all the world is changed, I think,
Since first I heard the footsteps of thy soul
- Elizabeth Barrett Browning , Sonnet VII


First, a few words about tools.
Basically, a tool is an object that enables you to take advantage of
the laws of physics and mechanics in such a way that you can seriously
injure yourself. Today, people tend to take tools for granted. If
you're ever walking down the street and you notice some people who look
particularly smug, the odds are that they are taking tools for
granted. If I were you, I'd walk right up and smack them in the face.
-- Dave Barry, "The Taming of the Screw"

What this country needs is a dime that will buy a good five-cent bagel

JIM .. is like The United States is like the guy at the party
who gives cocaine to everybody and still nobody likes him. -- Jim Samuels

Brontosaurus Principle: Organizations can grow faster than their brains can
manage them in relation to their environment and to their own physiology:
when this occurs, they are an endangered species. -- Thomas K. Connellan

Smoking is one of the leading causes of, statistics. -- Fletcher Knebel

Power corrupts. And atomic power corrupts atomically.

5-18 don't wash dishes day

The goal of science is to build better mousetraps.
The goal of nature is to build better mice.

Anyone can hold the helm when the sea is calm. -- Publius Syrus

As far as the laws of mathematics refer to reality,
they are not certain, and as far as they are certain,
they do not refer to reality. -- Albert Einstein

Idiot, n.:
A member of a large and powerful tribe whose influence in human
affairs has always been dominant and controlling. -- Ambrose Bierce

Bore, n.:
A guy who wraps up a two-minute idea in a two-hour vocabulary.
-- Walter Winchell

ROMEO: Courage, man; the hurt cannot be much.
MERCUTIO: No, 'tis not so deep as a well,
nor so wide as a church door; but 'tis enough, 'twill serve






Loud burping while walking around the airport
is prohibited in Halstead, Kansas

"Why is it that we rejoice at a birth and grieve at a funeral?
It is because we are not the person involved" -- Mark Twain