Return-Path: [email protected]
Date: Fri, 11 Jul 1997 08:16:02 -0700 (PDT)
To: [email protected]
Subject: Re: uh..

So I got the box of Shin Ramyun today.
My whole family was around when I opened it.

When I finally got the tape off and pulled off the top,
there was silence....and then my family burst into laughter.

But not me. I was thinking to myself, "I'm such a stud."

-mike

Return-Path: [email protected]
Date: Fri, 18 Jul 1997 09:56:38 -0700 (PDT)
To: [email protected]
Subject: damn this family crap!

So I haven't been able to eat any of my brand new shin ramyun
because I'm busy as hell with work and studying and all that.

But last night. I got off from work a little early so all the
way home on the freeway, I was thinking, "I'm gonna get me some
of that Shin Ramyun ACTION, BABY!"

But when I get home, I look in the box and see that there are only
4 packages left! I feel lightheaded.

I call up my mom at her work and demand that she tell me what happened
to MY shin ramyun. Apparently she thought there were enough packages to
go around so she gave some to my sister to eat at her appartment.
Boy was she ever wrong to make such an assumption!

Heads will roll...

-mike

p.s. I was so upset that I didn't even eat one that day. Dam all this family crap!

Return-Path: [email protected]
Date: Tue, 22 Jul 1997 08:17:51 -0700 (PDT)
To: [email protected]
Subject: touchdown

So last weekend I was at my sister's apartment just hanging out
when I suddenly got the Shin Ramyun craving. I walk over to her
kitchen and find the last package of Shin Ramyun. I'm about to
open it when my sister grabs it out of my hand yelling,

"Wait! That's my last one! You can't have it!"

What ensues in a full contact Shin Ramyun tug-o-war. She eventually
manages to yank it out of my hands, so I decide to tackle her,
That's when she gives me the biggest stiff-arm I've ever seen.

So I'm lying on my butt with no Shin Ramyun thinking that my
sister should have played football...

-mike

Return-Path: [email protected]
Date: Tue, 29 Jul 1997 14:48:38 -0700 (PDT)
To: [email protected]
Subject: 63% of cancer in Koreans is Gastro-Intestinal related

So I had my FIRST helping of Shin Ramyun the other day.
It seemed to me quite a joyous event. It was Saturday, late
afternoon, and I had just come home from a full day of MCAT
studying. MCATs, by the way, can bite my big hairy ass
(don't know if you'll print that part...). Anyway, so I'm
all tired and hungry, and in a bad mood because, you remember,
MCATs can bite my big hairy ass.

I get home, pull out one of my Shin Ramyun packages and make
me up one smokin' hot bowl of good old fashion korean style
noodles, BABY!--with an egg, of course. You can't have a bowl
of ramyun without the egg.

So anyway, it was a very very good day after that. The only thing
was that I suddenly started craving a scallion pancake. There's
this Chinese take out place near MIT called Pu Pu Hot Pot and they
make this flour pancake type of thing with tiny microscopic pieces
of scallions. It tastes nasty, but at that moment, I was craving it
like the dickens. Damn taste buds. The gods, they mock me.

-mike

Return-Path: [email protected]
Date: Thu, 31 Jul 1997 08:41:39 -0700 (PDT)
To: [email protected]
Subject: Korean soaps are DA BOMB!

My dad loves spicy food. Whenever there's anything spicy on the dinner table,
he busts out the big metal bowl and makes himself bi bim bap a la old korean
man style. Anything spicy goes in. My mom, for some reason, either makes or
buys about 30 different types of kimchee and go chu jang, all of which become
part of my dad's bi bim bap monstrosity.

Shin Ramyun is rather spicy. This makes it perfect prey for my dad's spice
habit. But it turns out that Shin Ramyun is one of the few spicy foods that
does quite a number on my dad's digestive tract.

So yesterday night, my parents and I are watching this korean soap opera
called "neh-gah sah-noon eeyoo," roughly translated, "My Reason for Living,"
and I'm chowing down on a steamy bowl of spicy Shin Ramyun. My dad keeps
looking over at me because he wants some but knows he can't because it'll
probably give him an ulcer.

That's when I feel it: the slight rumbling in my gut resulting from distressed
contractions of the smooth muscle lining my stomach; the alternating sharp and
dull pain of excess acid bubbling up my esophagus; the horrible sensation of
wanting to go to the bathroom but resisting because you know it'll be a big
ole mess. The spoon drops out of my cold trembling hands as I realize that
intolerance to spicy food is GENETIC!

-mike

Return-Path: [email protected]
Date: Fri, 8 Aug 1997 08:44:24 -0700 (PDT)
To: [email protected]
Subject: Etymologies

There are certain words in the English language that really fascinate me.
The word "between" is surely a spawn of Satan. Say it 100 times and you'll
see what I mean. Another favorite of mine is the word "extravaganza!"
Notice the obligatory exclamation sign.

There's only one real way of saying "extravaganza!" With a slight pause
after the first syllable "ex," you build speed and volume through the
"trava" until you reach a huge climax on "GANNNNzaaaa!" And by that time,
you're gesticulating all wildly. It's quite beautiful.

The Korean language has it's share of interesting word too. Take, for
intance, "kkock ddoo guee," the romanization of which is virtually
impossible. My friend, Paul Yoo, in high school used to call everyone
a "kkock ddoo guee." He'd say, "You crazy kkock ddoo guee!" or "What
do you think you are, you little kkack ddoo guee!?"

I threw in some "kkack ddoo guee" into my Shin Ramyun the other day.
It was quite an extravaganza.

-mike

Return-Path: [email protected]
Date: Fri, 8 Aug 1997 08:49:07 -0700 (PDT)
To: [email protected]
Subject: War is hell

I was telling someone in lab the other day that it might be neat to fight
in a war. This completely shocked Ajay, a grad student and from then on,
he called me "Pro-war."

But he misunderstands. I was just thinking how fun it would be to cook up
some Shin Ramyun in a foxhole.

-mike

Return-Path: [email protected]
Date: Mon, 18 Aug 1997 10:59:21 -0700 (PDT)
To: [email protected]
Subject: Mr. Popularity

So lately I'm realizing that winning the box of yummy Shin Ramyun is doing
much more than satisfying my appetite. People are writing me emails and
stuff and looking at my homepage more than ever! Most of these people are
complete strangers and most of these complete strangers are high school
girls and most of these high school girls WrYt LykE DiZ! which drives me
the hell crazy. Anyway, thanks, Shin Ramyun, for making me popular.

Now if I can just get Margaret to have lunch with me. I even offerred her
some of my Shin Ramyun. I guess it can't buy me everything.

-mike

Return-Path: [email protected]
Date: Wed, 20 Aug 1997 13:43:03 -0700 (PDT)
To: [email protected]
Subject: We are what we eat

My sister is a doctor. Internal Medicine. She tells me and my dad all the
time not to eat so much junk food. One time she forbade us to eat any more
instant noodle type things. She said they are full of fat and bad stuff
that will eventually wreak havoc on our bodies.

Well, being the cynic I am, I decided to investigate the ingredients of
my instant noodle collection.

My Top Ramyun by NIssin has sodium tripolyphosphate, potassium carbonate,
sodium alginate, tocopherols, disodium guanylate, disodium inosinate, as
well as some artificial colorings. All these nitrates and preservatives
are actually not too good for you.

But when I looked at the Shin Ramyun Ingredients, all I saw were natural
spices (albeit lots of spices) and seasonings.

The winner? Shin Ramyun. By a full length. God bless that ramyun.

-mike

Return-Path: [email protected]
Date: Thu, 21 Aug 1997 11:17:30 -0700 (PDT)
To: [email protected]
Subject: The Plug

Well, yesterday I had my very last package of Shin Ramyun.
It was quite an event. There wasn't a dry eye in the house.

So I guess this will be my last entry into the illustrious
Shin Ramyun Diaries which has apparently made me the eighth
wonder of the world.

Thanks to all those humble folk who read my entries and liked them
enough to say so and I'm sorry that there will be no more. But
don't despair. In a few days, I'll be starting a humor journal on my
homepage about my wacky life. It'll be called the Boogie Chronicles.
Come one, come all! See ya.

-mike

Not to be left out, Sooyoung Park of Chicago, Illinois writes:

What am I doing here?

Well, I thought I'd write about my recent visit to the doctor. I've been having some chronic stomach problems which prompted me to visit my doctor, who told me I can't eat any ramyun until I have a camera stuck down my throat. Are there any MD's out there who can help me out? This is some serious sh*t. No ramyun, no instant cha-jang-myun, no kimchee? Am I f*cked or what? I'm currently on 800mg of Cimetidine per day (I don't even know what that is). Please, someone help me out here. I can't live w/o ramyun.

On the flip side, Ryan Kim retorts:

Hi there! I been lookin at your page for quite sometime and yo man, what's with your crazy obsession with shin ramyun???? You know that stuff is like 90% msg and like 90% sodium and like 90% other weird unhealthy chemical stuffs?! (I know, the numbers dont add up, but i'm tryin ta make a point, ok?) Anyways, I think that even though this stuff tastes all good n stuff, you shouldn't advocate it so much. You gonna kill somebody! So I think you should give some other kind of prize rather than a nice BOX O' RAMYUN. Instead give something useful, like nail clippers or something. Everybody needs nail clippers, and if you're like me, you always lose them. Anyways. Just commenting on your little Shin Ramyun fetish thingie. Ok. That's all.