Stats on PennywizeX: 
Need To know: 18/M, Student at Fordham University (or F.U. as some of us like to call it), and the girlies think I'm Pretty Fly... for a white guy.  

Favorite Wrestlers by fed: Rob Van Dam; The Rock; Chris Benoit, although Saturn is quickly getting up there in my list.  

Favorite Fed:  WWF, for as a wise man once said "WCW may have more talent but the WWF has more OVER talent."  

Favorite Shows: Simpsons, South Park, Frasier, and a little show I miss a Hell of a lot... ECW!!!  If u live in the NY area, protest and help get back our weekly dose of Extreme action.  

Hobbies: Anything to do with wrestling (of course); collecting comics... yes i'm 18 years old, in college and I still collect friggin' comics!!!  And I don't care! Deadpool rules!  JLA rocks too!; collecting action figures, Hell and I'll admit it, I play with them too... but dammit Multi- Poseable Spidey and Daredevil are just sooo perfect to use as wrestling figures.  You can do anything with them!  I have figures posed ALL OVER my room.  Including the WWF RAW ring in which plenty of Mayhem ensues...  

Fav. Music: Alternative!!!  (and ska and swing too).  

Fav. bands:Smashing Pumpkins (Geek U.S.A is an awesome song!); Foo Fighters (second album ROCKS!); Our 
Lady Peace (same as with Foo Fighters); DMB (NOT DMX!!!); Offspring (one of the first alternative bands I ever got into.  You can tell the influence they've had on me as seen above.  These guys just RULE!); Creed, I'm not giving you that album back Jay... :-) and lots more.  

Least Favorite type of people: Those who make fun of those who can't flip. :-)  

   The entire list took about 2 hours or so to compile but it was sooooo worth it.  I had a Hell of a fun time writing these and I hope you enjoy them.  A couple of them may be outdated (this list was originally made like the second or third week in August) but they''re still funny.  I only made one 3:16 per wrestler, which was hard because I had an endless supply for some guys.  So if you can think of any I didn't post feel free to send them my way, I'd love to hear some of your ideas.  Doubt they'll be posted though.. sorry.  Also, don't forget to download my latest SRM's.  I've made MAJOR changes in my main SRM.  I've added Edge, Gangrel, Justin Credible, D-Lo Brown, Kidman, Dan Severn, Bradshaw, Chavo Guerrero (I don't remember if he was in the last one or not), and a couple more guys I think... I also changed a lot of costumes, and fixed nearly everyone's logic.  It's as accurate an SRM as I could possibly make, so check it out.  
     
   BTW doesn't that little Mega Man thing in the corner kick ass?  I can't stop staring at that thing... it's SO cool!  Woah, I'm trailing off here... so with out further ado, here is my soon to be infamous 3:16 list!
  
As most people know John 3:16 is only the first verse in the famous scripture that is John 3:16-18.  So I've decided to add on the rest to Austin 3:16.  

Austin 3:16 says "16 I just whupped your ass. 17 Then after the match I drank down a couple of Steveweisers. 18 And to end the night I had sex (using a trojan condom of course) with a consenting adult.  OH HELL YEAH!!!!" 

Why stop with Stone Cold? I think everyone deserves a 3:16. 
Warning: the following may not be suitable for the weak at heart.

Hall 3:16 says "I just felt up an old lady's ass"  

Juvie 3:16 says "Tenay won't stop staring at my ass."  

Bischoff 3:16 says "I just had a wrestler up my ass."  

Goldberg 3:16 says "I just speared your ass!"  (Take that as you will)  

Vader 3:16 says "Damn I've got one flat ass!"  

Hogan 3:16 says "Bischoff loves to kiss my ass."  

Sable 3:16 says "Patterson pretended he enjoyed grabbing my ass."  

Patterson 3:16 says "Why won't anyone give me any ass?"  

Disciple 3:16 says "Due to facial surgery I only let Hogan in my ass."  

Dustin 3:16 says "I went to church and Jesus saved my ass."   
(It's just wrong of me to write that but I thought it and I just had to type it) 

Foley 3:16 says "Dear God just look at my wide ass!"  

Undertaker 3:16 says "If you think my face is pale you should see my ass."  

The Rock 3:16 says "I just laid the smack down on your ass."  

Shamrock 3:16 says "While in my ankle-lock I have a clear view of your ass."  

Headbanger 3:16 says "We like to bang ass (every Saturday night, one way or another)."  

Sting 3:16 says "If Brandon Lee were still alive he'd kick my ass."  

Nash 3:16 says "Only 2 more years before I go back to kissing McMahon's ass."  

Benoit 3:16 says "Why the Hell won't they push my ass?!?"  

Norton 3:16 says "Nyah, Nyah Benoit!!!  They're pushing my ass!"  

Okerlund 3:16 says "I like to stare at Nitro girl ass."  

Franchise 3:16 says "After this match I'm gonna ...CENSORED... in Francine's ass."  

DDP 3:16 says "I just banged your ass."  

Luger 3:16 says "Everytime I get hit I scream as if something got shoved up my ass."  

Faarooq 3:16 says "It's time I took my belt to your ass."  

Venis 3:16 says "I get paid to bang ass."  

Funk 3:16 says "I won't retire until someone cripples/kills my ass."  

Kanyon 3:16 says "Why won't you people cheer my ass?"  

Savage 3:16 says "That punk Bischoff took credit for injuring my ass."  

Kidman 3:16 says "I got an itch on my ass."  

Kane 3:16 says "This... angle... with... my brother... has... confused... my ass."  

Triple H 3:16 says "Next time I'll get some chick to show her ass."  

Godfather 3:16 says "Where my Ho's at?  I oughta whup their ass!"  

Vincent 3:16 says "I wonder why Bischoff never fired my ass?"  

Disco 3:16 says "One time I used my Disco Ball to knock someone on their ass."  

Sandman 3:16 says "I go into every match a drunken ass."  

Rodzillla 3:16 says "I go into every match a drunken ass."  

Hawk 3:16 says "I go into every match a drunken ass."  

Jimmy Hart 3:16 says "You just atomic dropped my ass."  

Jarrett 3:16 says "You can kiss my a-double s."   
(That one was thrown in simply to make Charles mark out.) 

Sunny 3:16 says "Every man wants a piece of my ass."  

Scorpio 3:16 says "No one cares about my ass."  

Shawn 3:16 says "I like to show my ass."  

Lawler 3:16 says "Lord, how I'd love to see more of Sable's boobs and ass!"  

Schiavone 3:16 says "Damn those donuts went straight to my ass."  

Tenay 3:16 says "Wow, doesn't Juvie have such a nice ass?"  

Eddie 3:16 says "Grandma is so proud of my ass."  

Candido 3:16 says "HA!  I'm the one that gets to bang Sunny's ass."  

Storm 3:16 says "Sunny felt up my ass."  

Warrior 3:16 says "I treat my fans like dirt yet they still love my ass."  

Hennig 3:16 says "Don't I just have the most Perfect ass?"  

Adams 3:16 says "How about a cup of Shut The Hell Up before I kick your ass?"  

Giant 3:16 says "At Souled Out they showed my bare ass."  

Buff 3:16 says "In my movies I get to see some naked chick's ass."  

S. Steiner 3:16 says "I've even pumped Steriods into my ass."  

R. Steiner 3:16 says "I've let Scotty pump something into my ass."  

Lodi 3:16 says "My signs kick ass."  

Bret 3:16 says "I've been screwed, so I'll go on live WCW TV and say ass."  

Snow 3:16 says "I'll use my Head to nail your ass."  

Sabu 3:16 says "You should see the scars on my ass."  (not intended as a gay joke... sickos)  

Too Sexy 3:16 says "I know Lawler's my Daddy because my Mommy said she gave him some ass."  

Leno 3:16 says "I tried to wrestle and made a fool of my ass."  

Letterman 3:16 says "I'll win back the ratings because Leno's an ass."  

Chyna 3:16 says "I just showed my ass."  

Konnan 3:16 says "Arriba el Culo!!!!"  (Culo is ass in espanol for those wondering why the Hell I stuck this one in.)  

Jericho 3:16 says "It's a conspiracy I tell you!!!  They screwed my ass!!!!"  

Raven 3:16 says "What about me???  What about my ass?"  

Owen 3:16 says "Enough is Enough and I'm Sick of Hearing the word ass!!!!"  
  

Straying from the line a little bit, here are some 3:16 without the word ass.  

Yamaguchi-san 3:16 says "If you screw my wife, I choppie choppie your pee-pee."  

Taka 3:16 says "If you screw my sister, I choppie choppie your pee-pee.  You Jackass."  

Ultimo 3:16 says "Who is this Madonna woman?"  

Bad Ass 3:16 says "...we've got two words for you, S*CK IT!!!!!"  (The man don't say much else.)  

Zybysco 3:16 says "It's like a game of Human Chess."  

John-Eric 3:16 says "Tell me what you thought of this page or I'll kick your ass."  

Joel 3:16 says "You forgot to say please, John; don't be an ass."  
  
-Total use of the word "ass" (in any form) in this column= 75  

P.S.- I won't be using [email protected] anymore soon, so send all e-mails from now on to [email protected].  

P.P.S.- Hi Hyatte!  Your Mop-Up rules!!!  "I'm not worthy!!"  

P.P.P.S- No, we didn't forget about posting the results from the wrestling card we held in June.  We're still working on it now.  Don't worry, it'll be up soon and it will be cool.  Match results (written by me), pics from the card, and a little extra something. 

P.P.P.P.S.- PLEASE Check out the fake WWF MAG!!  It'll be up soon, and it is guaranteed to make you bust a gut! There is no way you can read this Mag and not laugh... it is a MUST see!  And I had a hand in some of the articles too, so it is a proud achievement for both of us.  But make sure you e-mail Charles to give him props because this guy worked his butt (didn't want to use the "a-word", 75 is such a nice round number) off making that mag, he'll really appreciate it.