A few years back three strapping young lager-fuelled lads exploded out of deepest South Wales. They went by the name of the 60ft Dolls, played loud �n� lairy guitar music just the way God intended, drank every pop star and their dog under the table and probably even gate-crashed your party. Then they packed up and left for America to record their second album and that was the last we saw of them for two years. Until now. EmptyNet Reviews has a pre-gig chat to find out why it�s good to have them back.

Back on the live circuit with a new single and �mature� second album in tow it�s like they�ve never been away. Their amps still threaten to drain the power supply of the venues they play, they still perform as if they�re staring in �Speed 3�, their heads being in danger of internally combusting should their heart rate drop below 200 bpm, and they still look like they�re having a giggle.

Tonight�s gig at Manchester�s Roadhouse is running behind schedule. They got stuck in traffic, there�s blizzard conditions outside and the support band have locked themselves out of their van which just happens to house every last bit of their equipment. Still, the �Dolls remain unfazed by it all. Nothing, it seems, pisses these guys off. They�re so laid back and, as much of a crime against pop as it may be, they�re happy.

So, I sit drummer Carl Bevan down on my couch to give him the once over and see if that cool exterior is all it�s cracked up to be. I put it to him that although the group are collectively known as the 60ft Dolls he may well prefer to be a different childhood toy or creature of a slightly different size. Just what would he be and how big?

"I�d be a really small spider monkey, called Leeky." he starts, very assuredly. A thought he�s pondered over often perhaps. "I�d have all my teeth filed down to fine points and I�d only drink battery acid and vinegar. I�d get smacked about and generally man-handled, in a sexual way."

Hmmmm. Interesting. We�ve since sent this off for analysis by a panel of renowned psychological experts, although we�re not holding out much hope that they�ll make head nor tail of it either.

Anyway, onto more pressing issues. Since they left Britain behind two years ago another Welsh band has forced it�s way into the nation�s stream of consciousness. They�re a trio. They�re from South Wales. They play loud guitar music with a chunk of raw emotion thrown in for good measure. Sounding familiar yet? So, do the Stereophonics get their goat?

"No, it don�t interest me. They don�t really ring my bell, I don�t think they�ll change my life, but their alright I suppose."

See, so laid back! Come on, get angry boy! Tell me about what the Welsh music scene means to you then.

"Well, there�s loads of groups there, let�s face it. In the last couple of years you�ve got five or six good fucking bands. Us, the Super Furries, Catatonia, Gorkys, the Manics. A similar thing happened in Manchester, but then there was that Manchester beat, an underlying dance theme. In Wales there�s nothing musically that�d tie them all together, it�s all purely geographical. At grass-roots level there�s loads of kids going out, buying guitars and forming bands. I sat down with a mate the other day and we counted in my town alone (Newport) about 90 groups doing their own stuff, and that�s not counting fucking cabaret or pub rock covers bands."

Is your next album going to keep you up there with the best of them?

"Yeah, it�s just fucking great. People who bought the last one should like this one. It�s not going to throw them or anything, it�s the same group but we�ve had more time to do it. We did about 300 gigs since the last album so we�ve had a long time to write it. We�re not intimidated by the studio anymore either with all it�s flashing lights. The studio has become our friend."

Back when they were just breaking onto the scene and being showered with enough critical acclaim to fill the English Channel, one famous review said of their first album that it was the best British debut since Oasis� �Definitely Maybe�. A complement?

"Yeah, I think so, without sounding like a c**t. I was really proud of it. Me and the other two guys put our arse into it for the last God knows how long. But the second album is just fucking better, as it should be. When you start making records worse than your previous one you�re in a lot of trouble." Are you listening Mr Gallagher.

So is this their �Morning Glory� to their debut�s Definitely Maybe�?

"Yeah. It�s our �Morning Glory�, our �Revolver��And all that stuff about the difficult second album is bullshit"

You left the familiar chilly confines of Wales behind and jetted off to America to do the album. Was there any particular reason for that?

"No, not really. We did a big tour over there which started in February and ended in the summer and we just ended up staying in New York."

Does America like the 60ft Dolls?

"It�s a strange country, full of very fucking strange people. We�d go to big cities like Chicago, Boston, New York, LA and it�d be great, the shows would be sold out and people there would actually have the album and like it. Then the next day we�d be playing the back of beyond. We played in a launderette for God�s sake!"

A launderette?

"Yeah, it was like a bar / launderette. Some places in the mid-west are really like Hicksville and there�d be a couple of people there who�d be really into it and then there�d be people there purely by accident because they�re too drunk to crawl out of the bar. It was good, but it�s a BIG country and to make the slightest dent in it you�ve got to put about five years of your life into it, or get lucky. It�s all about local radio stations. It�s a totally different network to Britain. If I was being interviewed by the American equivalent of you, they�d want to know about what fucking guitar strings you use. They�ve got more respect for the music, whereas in Britain it�s all so quick and fashion based."

Not wanting to be outdone by our American peers then, EmptyNet poses the pressing question: What guitar strings do you use exactly?

"I don�t use any guitar strings, I�m a drummer."

Er, okay, true. In that case, what drums do you use?

"Round ones."

Alright, that�s good enough for old fashion obsessed us.

If you�ve ever read anything about the 60ft Dolls in the music press you won�t have been able to ignore the �wa-hey the lads� stereotyped portrayal of the band. Rumour has it though that they�re not really like that at all and that they�re calming down in their old age. So how true is it to say that the 60ft Dolls like a drink or seven?

"Well, you wouldn�t be entirely wrong in mentioning that. It�s not true that we�re lads though. I really hate that. I mean, I�ve never been to see a football match in my life. When we first started to get press we�d just got a record deal, we were coming out of South Wales and went to London. People were giving us all this free beer and we just went mad, at the time it seemed like the right thing to do."

"There have been some crazy times though" adds singer/guitarist Richard Parfitt, who�s just wondered over.

Oh yeah. Any you want to share with us?

At which point his finger hits the stop button on my dictaphone. So, no. Obviously those stories just aren�t suitable for your consumption.

So there you have it. 60ft Dolls. Rock n roll animals, too rock n roll for you, but definitely not lads.

James Berry