Dianna
I hung up the phone with Taylor, not sure of whether I should be happy or upset, basically I was just confused. I had expected Isaac to be the first one in the family to say he was in love and ready to give up everything to marry this girl, but now it was my Taylor. From the way he sounded I could tell he wasn't lying about being in love or marriage, it just wasn't like him to go into something like this so quickly. He was right though, he was never one to use the word love lightly and he really meant every word he said...I just hope that this girl isn't messing around with him. I can't bear to see that happen to my Taylor. He's so innocent and naive, and this is such a big deal. I pray that he hasn't done anything dumb, I pray for his sake that she feels this way too and that she wants the same things or he could be grievously hurt.
I look back at the days when I was 15 and I realize that was when I fell in love with Walker. We were so happy together, so in love and I bet that if I were to have talked to someone about him back then I would've sounded amazingly like Taylor just had. None the less I was worried for my son, what mother wouldn't be? Worried and scared, I didn't want to lose my son so soon, he was still my baby in a way and I had wanted him to stick around until he was much older. Now he's going to want to be near Callista if they stay together and then he'll be leaving the house as soon as he can, like I did when I was with Walker. As soon as I had my parent's consent to marry him and move in with him I did. Then I was 18 and just barely a legal adult, but Walker and I moved out. My mother had wanted me to live at home while I went through Oral Roberts University **I have no clue if this is where she went to school, just bear with me and pretend, thanks** but I didn't. I wanted Taylor to live at home as long as he could, not leave as soon as he was 18. I knew Isaac wouldn't be leaving as soon as he was 18, he would stay and work with the band but now Taylor just might leave right away. Mean while this Callista lives all the way out on Long Island on the East Coast, nowhere near here, therefore they would have to chose which side of the family they wanted to be near and it might not be my side. That thought alone brought tears to my eyes.
Such thoughts scared me and at the same time they exhausted me. I needed to take another nap, I needed to talk to Walker. I needed to stop crying and compose my self but the hormones had taken over and I couldn't stop the incessant flow of tears from my eyes. This was the worst part of being almost nine months pregnant, horrid, uncontrollable mood swings. Trying desperately to stop the tears I dropped down into the couch and covered my eyes. I felt a tug at the edge of my sweater and looked down into the worried eyes of little Mackenzie.
"Mommy, was wong?"
"Nothing sweetie, nothing's WRONG, mommy's just tired, that's all." I stressed the pronunciation of wrong trying to correct my son's speaking.
"You should go ta bed then, ni-night." He chirped and turned around to watch a movie that Jessie and Avery had just put on.
My three year old son was right I needed to go to bed, but raising my oversized body off of the couch was seeming close to impossible. So I just lay there feeling like a beached whale, and crying softly to myself.
About 15 minutes later Isaac came into the room with Rhyann on his arm, this only made me cry more. I knew it wasn't like he and Rhyann were anywhere close to being in love or ready for marriage. According to Isaac they were hanging out as friends, although he did want more he needed to get to know her. The thought that he was in love though almost preposterous but it invaded my mind and scared me like I was losing two of my babies all in one day. The stupid hormones coursing through my body were running overtime and I couldn't regain any control over them, it was horrible.
Isaac came over and sat next to me, putting his arm comfortingly around me. He didn't know exactly what was wrong but he had a vague idea, and his comfort meant a lot. He said nothing, but he held me close until the fervency of my tears had declined and my shaking had relaxed.
"Mom, this is about Taylor, right?"
"In a way..."
"Look, I'm worried about him too, I doubt the knows what real love is. He just thinks he's in love and that he's ready to get married, he can't really be serious. I'm going to talk to him about this."
"No...Isaac, he's telling the truth, he's in love. I can tell, it's in his voice, when I see him it'll be in his eyes. I can read my children like the back of my hand and he's not lying. And no one here can stop him, we always taught you boys to follow your hearts and he will do just that, he will learn about life even if it's the hard way. I'm just scared I'm losing my baby, I don't want to see him leave just yet. The thought of him leaving us as soon as he can to be with this girl hurts and oh, these hormones are throwing me for a loop, I don't need to be crying but I can't stop the tears."
"Look, I'm going to get Dad. He'll bring you up to bed and you two can talk. Zac and I will take care of the kids, make sure they're all packed and then we'll put them to bed. You just calm down and get some sleep, tomorrow's going to be a long day, don't worry about anything until then."
I smiled to myself, all of my children were amazing. I was extremely relieved that I had raised my children well so far, and I could only hope that they held onto the things Walker and I had taught them.
Isaac left the room with Rhyann playing Barbie's with Jessica and Avery. He returned a few moments later, Walker on his heels.
I took hold of Walker's outstretched hand and he helped raise my oversized body from the couch. As he held my hand in his I remembered the way I felt the first time he held my hand, the way I feel now. Our love never died down, I knew it never would on the day I met him. I met him when I was 15, only a few months older than Taylor is now, and I knew what I wanted for the rest of my life. I knew now, deep in my heart, that Taylor was probably right about this girl and that they very well could be meant for each other. Admitting that to myself was hard because that was like signing away my baby. The little boy who ran around the house with a sword and proclaimed that girls were gross and that they had cooties. The boy who would be a bachelor forever, the child I had given birth to just 14 short and amazing years ago.
Walker took me up to our bedroom and helped me into pajamas and then bed. He knew what was going on, whether from Isaac or just a sheer understanding of me no words were needed to explain the situation and he dare not ask. Walker knew that asking me right now would only make the situation worse, so he would make it through until the morning without knowing the entire story. He just sat on the bed by my side and gently stroked my hair, gently humming a random song until I fell into a restless sleep.