A present for someone you hate.
A frisbee for your pet ferret.
A burglar alarm which will really scare intruders.
A stress relief device.
Something on which to test your new hammer and chisel.
The one thing in the world that will make Jehovah's Witnesses go away.
An arguement in favour of Australia becoming a republic.
An icon in a satanic ritual.
Something with which to slash your wrists.
A specimen in a study of the flammability of household products.
Proof of insanity in a trial.
A replacement washer in a large plumbing system.
Something shiny to give to a magpie so that it will stop taking your spoons.
A ring for your middle finger.
Something which you can be sure will sink.
A device for forcing confessions in a police interrogation.
An excuse to send letterbombs at random to adresses in the Nottinghamshire area.
Proof of the philisophical notion that humankind is essentially evil.
Something to test if your toilet flushes properly.
Relaxation music for the psycologically disturbed and mentally unbalanced. (This may mean you!)
Sorry to all the people who sent in suggestions, but I don't have the time (and really never did) to keep updating these pages, so I've barred you off and now only use the ones Dave and I made up. Thanks for the support though.
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