Infiltration

1996, and a spectre is haunting Europe: The spectre of Wannabe. No country escapes it. They all seccumb. When we see countries like France and Italy, which have some of the richest cultures in the world, going mad over the Spice Girls, it is then we realise the sacrifice they have made for European unity. Were it not for their membership of the EU, they probably would have declared war on the UK, with their first nuclear target being Nottingham.
Later in the year, Wannabe arrives in Australia. The first reaction of much of the populace was one of disbelief. O, England! Is it true that thou who gaveth us the Beatles now giveth us this? They've lost it, we thought. The mad cow scare was obviously more serious than anyone believed.
However, a few months later, when Wannabe had been at the top of the Australian charts, we realised that it was not just reflecting badly on Britian, but on our entire generation. It was at this point that the baby-boomers sniggered and said, "Wannabe? At the top for eight weeks? That's as long as The House of the Rising Sun stayed at the top. I don't know what our youth are heading for...".
Now, it seems all we can do is stand back and watch the Spice Girls take hold. We are powerless. Is it really true that there is such a lack of any decent music that people will turn to this? The industry currently offers no answers. My own theory is this: Wannabe has hypnotic properties, when you have it hammered into you three times a day from most mainstream radio stations, it gradually takes you over. You lose all sense of self. Suddenly, you find that you only know what you want (what you really, really want), and that is, to listen to Wannabe again, even that you know that it is crap. SO TURN OFF NOW!

However, we must admit that Wannabe has achieved one particular significant musical milestone. It has managed to make the Macarena sound good. (Well, sorta. If that's possible.)

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