Yes folks, its official. Victoria "Posh Spice" Adams is engaged to be married to some english soccer star (I can't remember his name right now.. nor do I really give a flying fuck, but anyway).
Thousands of 13 yr old boys the world over have had their wet dreams ended in agony as "the one who doesn't sing, dance or do anything, really..." has suddenly become unavailable.....
.....but then again, its not like they ever really had a chance... or even a faint glimmer of a hope... I mean come on, she's a rich, famous, musicia... pop star and they (who am I kidding?? Why am I saying "they"? You really wouldn't expect me to think that you are not one of those disgusting little perverts. Yes... I know your secret, you seedy little twerp!) and YOU are an ugly, spotty, hormonal, moronic little turd who probably couldn't keep it up long enough to actually achieve any form of intercourse before you're scrubbing out the inside of your briefs with an embarassed look on your face and pathetic promises that it has never happened before... only true becuase until that moment, the closest you had ever come to getting anywhere with a girl is to brush against one on the bus.
No... you would have had your little fantasies... you know the ones.. where you rescue her from some "evil" kidnapper and she falls in love with you and fucks your brains out.. or maybe you win a competition to meet them, and she takes you into their dressing room trailer thingie and tells you to "have your wicked ways" or something equally pathetic. Maybe more than one of them is present... Maybe you've had some different fantasy. I don't want to know about your sick little dreams, truthfully, but I'm positive that they all have only one thing in common... actually 0% chance of ever actually eventuating. Thats right. They will never happen, and you know why?? Because you're PATHETIC! Completely and utterly PATHETIC! Its not as if she's not some BIMBO SLUT who wouldn't fuck a TEA COSY if it had a dick, so its possible you could have HALF a chance. Maybe. If wasn't that you are a GUTLESS WONDER who is more content to get a SORE WRIST and FRICTION BURN MARKS (due to your forgetting to buy more VASELINE) than to walk out into the big, wide, REAL world and get yourself a GIRLFRIEND! and a LIFE!!!!!
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