The first thirty seconds or so of this song can be wound up as such:
Yo, I'll tell you what I want, what I really really want
The next point of interest in the song is a somewhat baffling one, when we finally recieve the answer to Tell me what you want. It is:
I wanna, I wanna, I wanna, I wanna, I wanna really really really wanna zigazig ha.
Obviously they wanna "zigazig ha". But as yet, linguistic scholars have not been able to work out what the phrase "zigazig ha" actually means. It is not contained anywhere within the twenty four volumes of the Complete Oxford English Dictionary, nor can it be found in the vocabularies of some of the worlds least used dialects including Ancient Sanskrit, Waorani Amazonian, or Scottish Gaelic. Perhaps it is some funny midlands expression that the world is yet to discover. (Nick remembers reading somewhere that one of the girls is quoted as saying something like "I'm really an alien from outer space". This may help.) However, it is possible to deduce the meaning by looking at the rest of the sentence. We find that "zigazig ha" is an action which they want to perform. Thus, we worked out that the most likely possible meanings were:
I really really really wanna learn some new words other than "wanna" and "really".
I really really really wanna find someone that won't keep asking me to "get to the point" when I'm telling them what I really really want.
I really really really wanna watch Ninja Turtles 2 again so I can learn more about how to rap.
I really really really wanna visit a speech therapist.
I really really really wanna have people think that I am an African-American from Los Angeles and not an Anglo-Saxon from the East Midlands of England.
The chorus, which can be summed up as:
If you wanna be my lover, you gotta get with my friends.
had members of the Christian Coalition burning the CD because of its "sexual immorality". However, we believe this is a superficial interpritation which does not capture the true meaning of the chorus. Rather, "get with my friends" means: "give me and my friends a recording contract". 'Nuff said.
The next part of the song relates to the commitments involved (if you wanna be my lover...), ending with,
If you really bug me, then I'll say goodbye.
This calls for protest. The Spice Girls have bugged the whole world for the past year with their constant streme of mindless drival over the FM radio stations, and now they say, "If YOU really bug ME"! Are they saying that in the United Kingdom, which has a population of about 60 million, there is actually someone who annoys people more than they do? I'd like to see that!
Next the first parts of the song and chorus are repeted, and then comes the most tragic part of the song: the "rap". I have never been a huge fan of rap, but like most people, I recognise it as one of the latest chapters in a great musical history of black Americans' defiance of oppression. The Spice Girls have taken that, and turned it into a pathetic story about their friends (sung in a code which no-one but themselves can understand), and sung in a pissy English-trying-to-be-American-and-failing-dismaly accent. It is quite clear that there has never been a drive-by shooting in Nottingham, though, if this continues to be played on the radio stations, there may be one soon...
The final part of the song is somewhat confusing, the gist of it being:
If you wanna be my lover, you gotta slam your body down and wind it all around.
This is a clear admission that you will be writhing in agony if exposed to the influence of the Spice Girls for a polonged period. In fact, we already are.
Article by David Nemes (with the odd line by Nick James)
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