[[ Friends Forever ]]

When the guys went back on the road, I met their touring partner a week before we left. Her name was Julie Jeffries, and she was a new artist signed with the guys' label. She had just turned nineteen, and was a friendly, happy girl. Her bright blonde hair and crystal blue eyes made her a natural for magazine covers. What I thought was weird was that she looked like she was my sister or something. Nick came up to her one afternoon and thought she was me, and got chewed out about it. Then he explained and I apologized, feeling like a dork.

" Nikki, can I ask you some things? I need to be filled in, " Julie said to me that afternoon. " Sure, " I replied. " When we go on tour, are the guys major pranksters? " she asked. I laughed. " Yeah, you might want to watch out. Nick's the worst. The guys only pull pranks on people if Nick's leading the pack. I'll keep him on a leash for the first few weeks so you can get used to all the hype, " I said. Julie laughed. " On a leash? Is he that bad? " she asked. I grinned. " Yep! "

Julie and I were working on a duet together, and it was almost complete. We were finishing up writing it, and in a few days, we'd record it. Then we'd go on tour and I'd perform the song with Julie onstage every night. Strike 4 would join the Backstreet Boys and Julie on tour in about six months, and we'd continue to sing it each night.

" Yo, Nick, where are my black sandals? " I yelled from my bunk. " I don't know! I'm not the one who wears them! " he called back. I sighed and looked in my bag again. I really hated the first day of a tour, because everything was hectic as could be. For the first week, nobody could ever find anything. It was annoying as crap.

I found the sandals on the floor in the bathroom. " Did I leave those there? " I wondered aloud. " I don't know, " Julie said, startling me. " Oh! You scared me, Julie! " I exclaimed. " Sorry. Didn't mean to. I was looking for you, " she said. " Why? " I asked, slipping a sandal onto my foot. " I have another question, " she said.

" What would that be? " I asked. " Does Nick always walk around all over the place in his boxers? " she asked. I burst out laughing. " He's out there in his boxers, no doubt, " I said. Julie laughed and nodded.

" Nick! Put some clothes on! " I yelled. " I'm getting them! " he shouted back. Julie and I giggled.

That night was the opening show. As usual, we were pumped and ready to go. While Julie sang her first song, I danced around to the fast beat. Then she sang her second song, a really slow one, and Nick took my hand to dance with me. I leaned over on his shoulder and closed my eyes. Before I knew it, the song was over and I was supposed to go out to sing with Julie.

When I went onstage to sing the song, I realized I forgot my line. Oh, shit! What am I supposed to sing? C'mon, Nikki, you rehearsed this a million times! Think of it!, I thought, trying not to panic. Julie was singing calmly, not knowing the trouble. She smiled over at me. Then I remembered the line, just in time to sing it. Whew! I thought.

When the song was over, Julie and I both exited the stage together. Nick pulled me into his arms for a hug, and kissed my cheek. " That was great, " he said excitedly. " Thanks, " I mumbled. I was kind of out of it. Nick looked at me funny. " What's wrong? " he asked. " Oh, nothing. Just tired, " I said. " Tired? We just got started, " Nick said. " Yeah, I know. But I was up late last night, don't forget, " I said, wishing it was the truth.

I had been up late the night before; however, that wasn't why I'd been so out of it. The reason for being up so late was that I'd been thinking. Thinking about Nick and I. About our relationship. It would fall to pieces soon, I knew. We were getting too close too fast. I had to stop it before anything bad could happen.

But how was I going to do that? Nick would be heartbroken. But he would eventually get over it. My mind drifted to my main problem - how was I going to tell him? There was no way I could do it. Just then Julie bounced up happily. " That was great! " she exclaimed. I turned to her and started to cry.

" Nikki? What's wrong? " Julie asked in a panic. I just sobbed. She hugged me tightly. " What happened? Why are you crying? " she asked. " It's... a stupid story, " I choked out. " Well, tell me, " she said. " I'm going to chill things out between Nick and I, " I blurted. She gasped. " Why? What do you mean chill them out? " she asked.

" I mean I'm going to... I'm gonna leave for a while. I've got to leave. Nick and I are getting too involved way too fast. If we keep this up, we're going to wind up hating each other. It's the only thing I can do to save our relationship. I've got to leave for a couple months, " I said. " No, Nikki! You can't! What about the tour? What about our song? " she asked. " We'll record the song and then I'll go back home to stay with Amanda. Then I'll be back with the tour when Strike 4 comes back out on the road with the guys, " I said quietly.

" You can't! " Julie cried. " I have to. It's the only thing that'll keep Nick and I together, " I said.

" You've already got a perfect, true love! " she exclaimed. " It's not going to end up that way. If what Nick and I have is true, then it'll be there six months from now when I'm back, " I said, " but I can't stay. "

After the guys' show that night, I went to my bunk and curled up to think. Nick sat down beside me a little while later. " Hey, sweetie, " he said. " Hi, " I muttered. " What's up with you? You've been out of it since the show, " he said. " It's nothing. I told you, I'm tired, " I said. " Go to bed then. You had a long day, " he said.

" Yeah, " I mumbled, getting up and pushing the blanket back on my bed. I climbed into the bed and rolled over, but didn't close my eyes. " Goodnight, " Nick said. " 'Night, " I echoed. He walked away, and I started to think. That had to be the only way to keep Nick and I together. I had to leave. But how could I do it? There was no way I could just up and leave him. No way. I cried myself to sleep that night.

I woke up the next morning and decided I had to do it. We'd be making a stop that afternoon in Orlando, and I'd leave. I'd tell Nick I had to go to a meeting with Strike 4 to talk about a new album, and I'd go home. I'd go home to my mother. LeAnn and Justin would stay with Nick, since he was still the legal guardian.

My bags were still packed up, since I hadn't had time to unpack yet. We stopped in Orlando for the day, and I set everything up on my bed so it'd be easier for me to leave. " Paper... paper, where is it? " I mumbled, looking for a pen and paper. I finally found some paper, and grabbed a pen from the table. Then I sat down to write:

Nick,

Don't worry about me. I'll be fine. I've got to leave for a while. Trust me, it's all for us. I love you with all my heart and don't want to lose you. But we're moving too fast, and it's going to end up a disaster. I'll keep in touch, and please know I love you more than anything in the world. Please, I beg of you, do not be angry at me. I'm sorry about lying earlier about my whereabouts, but it's for our own good. I love you, Nick, and I always will. If this is real, it'll be here when I come back to the tour with Strike 4. Until then, remember me as I am. This is not goodbye. And if it's not real, well, then we'll still be friends forever.

Forever loving you,

Nikki

P.S. - I'll come home, I promise.

I left the note on the counter and went back to my bunk. Picking up my stuff, I heard a voice.

" Morning, Nikki, " Brian said. I turned to him and started to cry.

" What's wrong? " he asked in alarm. " I'm leaving, " I said. " Why? " he asked, suddenly panicked.

" I have to. If I don't, my relationship with Nick will fall apart, " I said. " What are you talking about? He loves you so much, and you love him, don't you? " Brian asked. " Yes, I do. But Brian, we're moving too fast. If we keep it up, we'll end up in disaster. "

Brian took me in his arms. " I'm sorry, " I whispered. " Shh... there's nothing to apologize for. You will be back, won't you? " he asked. " Someday, " I said quietly. " And there's no way I can convince you to stay? " he asked. " No. I can't, Brian. I'm doing this for Nick and I, " I said. " Have you told him? " Brian asked. I shook my head. " No. I left him a note on the counter, apologizing in advance for the lie I'm going to tell him, " I said.

" What lie? " he asked. " The one I'm going to tell him about the meeting, " I answered. " What meeting? " Brian was full of questions. " There isn't one. I'm going to tell him I have a meeting with the record label about Strike 4's next album, and then I'm going home. If you tell Nick that you know where I am, I will be very angry. I'm sorry to put this on you, but please, Brian, would you promise me that you won't tell him where I am? " I asked.

Brian nodded and hugged me again. " Thanks, B-rok. You don't know how much this means to me. Trust me, it's for the good of Nick and I. I'm not trying to test his faithfulness or anything, I just think that some time apart will bring us closer together, " I said. " I understand. But you've got to make a promise to me, too, " Brian said.

" What's that? " I asked. " That you will keep in contact! You better call me! " he said. I laughed through my tears. " Don't worry, B-rok. I promise. I won't lose touch. But please, never let Nick know you're talking to me, and never let him know where I am, " I said. " I won't. Don't worry, I'm good at keeping promises, " Brian said. I looked up at him. " Thanks a bunch. You're the greatest. Now I know why Nick thinks you're so great, " I said.

He smiled. " Thanks. Are you sure you've got to go? " he asked. I nodded, starting to cry again.

" I don't want to, but I have to, " I sniffed. " Do you need a ride or anything? " Brian asked. I shook my head.

" No, I'm going to call my mom from a pay phone. She'll come get me, " I said. " So I guess this is goodbye? " he asked. I shook my head. " Not forever. Just for a little while. I'll be back before you know it, " I said, hugging him.

He hugged me back tightly, then let go. " Okay, " he said quietly. I looked at him, and noticed he was about to cry. " Brian, do me a favor, " I said. " What's that? " he asked. " Don't cry, " I said, smiling at him. " I'm not trying to. But we'll all miss you while you're gone. You've become a sister to all of us, " he said, smiling back at me.

I hugged him again, then turned back to my things. " I'll see you in a few months. Tell the guys I said I'll see them, too. I promise, I'll be back. Maybe in two months, maybe in six. Whenever I'm certain that it'll be the best between Nick and I, " I said. " Okay. I'll see you then, Nikki. And don't forget, you better call, " he said after me, as I walked away. I turned back and smiled at him. " I won't forget! " I called as I stepped off the bus.

I made it past everyone without anyone noticing. If I stopped to say goodbye to anyone else, I knew I wouldn't be able to leave. Julie... she was like a sister to me. And Nick... if he knew where I was, he'd come back all the time. It would never work. I walked down the street until I came to a gas station. Stopping at the pay phone, I dropped in thirty five cents, dialed the number, and listened to it ring. My mom answered.

" Mom? I'm coming home. Can you pick me up at the gas station on Ricker? "