Skool Daze!

Why did Nick lock himself in a cupboard? How many girls did Michael snog at the school disco? And what exactly is a Pants Check? Big! takes Ultra back to school!

What were you all like at school?
Michael: "I was awful!"
James: "You were very cool, almost too cool."
Michael: "I tried to be rebellious by having my hair shaved off underneath. It was sad. I always thought James was conscientious because he was in the sporty crowd and never came to parties."
James: "I used to be in a swimming club, so every Saturday night I'd be there."
Nick: "Swimming club! Ha, ha! I was pretty overwhelmingly cool at school - only joking! I was a bit rebellious and always in trouble. A loveable rogue is what they used to call me."
Michael: "Nick can totally charm people, because he's well-spoken, but then you see a certain side of him and he's a complete yob!"
Jon: "I was a bit of a swot until I was 15. I did my O-Levels a year early, then stopped working and started organising parties. I almost got expelled once because I never used to go to Maths. I just played football."

Jon, James and Michael - what did you think of each other at school?
Jon: "I didn't know Michael, but I knew James. I can remember watching a video with him in it and I thought he looked arrogant."
Michael: "That's not nice!"
James: "Yeah, cheers!"
Jon: "It was only because I didn't know you properly."
Michael: "James and I were quite good friends through music. We used to spend all our lunch time in the music block playing guitar and mucking around. I saw James play his first gig with a band called Push when he was 14. It made me really wanna learn - so that's why I took it up."

What were your fave subjects?
Michael: "I used to love geography. I was in the same class as James and we used to have a complete doss. We had this wicked teacher called Dr. Forger who played the guitar. He used to write songs about baked beans and stuff!"
Jon: "I like languages but I can't remember any of them now."
James: "I really enjoyed geography too, even though I was hopeless. I actually went to do a A-Level and a degree in it."
Nick: "I didn't like any subject. I had no interest in anything - I think I was just immature."

Did you ever get in serious trouble?
Nick: "When I was about 12, eight of us decided we were gonna bunk off of school. We thought if we pretended that someone had locked us in the games cupboard we wouldn't get in trouble. So we locked the door and threw the key out of the window. After a while we realised it was really stupid and boring. Eventually we got out, but my mate suggested that if someone really had locked us in the cupboard we'd have grassed 'em up. So he told the Headmistress! She got the whole school assembly and wouldn't let anyone go until someone owned up! Of course, we got caught up and because we'd disrupted the whole afternoon we got banned from sports for the rest of the year!"
Jon: "Once, instead of posting our school reports they gave them to us to take home. Mine was so bad I hid it. One teacher put something like 'Jon is no asset to the school and I'll be glad to see the back of him!' In the end they found out when the Headmaster 'phoned my house."
Nick: "I was worse at University! I got in trouble for throwing food around in the canteen and when the Warden of the hall told us off he farted really loudly! I was laughing so much that I had to walk out. I think he was so embarrassed to talk to me after that!"

Did you ever cheat in an exam?
Michael: "If you didn't cheat you were at a disadvantage because everyone else did!"
Nick: "I was in a statistics exam and I couldn't do it, so I edged over to look at my mate's answers but he was having more trouble than me! I'd even taken in a Post-It note with stuff written on it in tiny writing. I got 12 per cent! It's the only time I cheated and it was the worst I ever did."
Jon: "I remember my maths A-Level exam. I didn't understand any of it so I spent the whole time writing down my budget for the party I was having!"
James: "I never used to cheat, really. I wrote down formulas on my pencil case, but that's all."
Nick: "And that's not cheating?"
James: "Erm..."
Nick: "I used to think that if you could cheat and get away with it that was actually more clever than learning it all in the first place! I love beating the system."

Did you ever get lines?
Jon: "The prefects gave out the lines at our school. I think they only did it for laugh and they made you write stupid things like 'I must not walk on the grass.'"
Nick: "I disagree with this whole prefect thing, giving kids power over other pupils. We never had them at my school. Didn't you hate prefects?"
James: "I was one, Nick!" Nick: "Oh, well tell 'em about the Pants Check! Their PE teacher used to check that they weren't wearing pants underneath their shorts for games. It's true!"
Jon: "Apparently it's unhygienic to wear underpants underneath your shorts for PE. At least that's what they used to tell us!"
Nick: "That's stupid because when you're playing sports you need support - even when you're young."

Erm, moving on...were you popular with girls at school?
Nick: "I went to a mixed school and played kiss chase with all the girls when I was 10."
Michael: "We had our school discos at a big country house with girls from other schools. Me and my friend used to have competitions to see how many people we could snog in one night. I snogged 15 girls once. How awful!"
James: "I was really shy around girls when I was at school. A few girls liked me but I never do anything about it."
Michael: "You never came to parties - you were always swimming!"
James: "I went out with girls from the swimming club. You know, snogging on the back of the coach and all that."
Jon: "When I was seventeen I went out with this girl who told me she was eighteen. I actually believed her and then found out she was twelve!"