Shit
Please mail me about what you think. thank you
~
Pissed, I think would be a good word. or fucked up, or emotional,
sick at heart and soul, in pain, They're all good words, Think about them a lot.
I hate life, why does it give me such beautiful things and then hold them out of my reach or take
them away from me and ruin then and then try to give them back. I don't want what it tries to
give me. I hate being alone, and watching what's happening to him. I hate myself for being right,
for the irony of the things he says, for the contempt I feel sometimes. In turn I hate others, I yell
till I have no voice, I cry till I have no tears, I say things until I give other tears, I hurt.
I keep wondering when it will get better, when I'll feel like I did before it all changed. I wonder
why I failed, why I couldn't help him. I wonder why I can't help myself. I try hard for the things
everyone wants, happiness, success, a good nights rest, friends, but the harder I try the harder I
fall.
I know its getting to the point where it might not work, I always listened to what everyone
wanted to tell me about how things were, I listened to his plans of a future. I was naive to think
I would get what I want, To think I'd be happy. And realizing that doesn't make me feel any
better. They always said if you loved something and you let it go if it was truly yours I'd come
back to you. What if it came back and you didn't want it. What if it had become everything you
hated and mocked you at its very existence.
What if it caused you so much pain to know what had been and what will
never be again.
Would love really conquer all?
~
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