Adam Sandler's Astology....

>Aquarius (Jan 23 - Feb 22)

� You have an inventive mind and are inclined to be
progressive. You� lie a great deal.� You make the same
mistakes repeatedly because you are stupid. Everyone thinks you are a fucking jerk.
>
>Pisces (Feb 23 - Mar 22)

� You are a pioneer type and think most people are
dickheads. You are quick to reprimand, impatient and full of advice.� You do nothing but piss-off everyone you come in contact with.� You are a prick.

>Aries� (Mar 23 - April 22)

� You have a wild imagination and often think you are being followed by the FBI or CIA.� You have minor influence on your friends and people� resent you for flaunting your power. You lack confidence and are a general dipshit.

>Taurus (April 23 - May 22)

� You are practical and persistent.� You have a dogged
determination and work like hell.� Most people think you are stubborn and bullheaded.� You are nothing but a goddamned communist.

>Gemini (May 23 - June 22)

� You are a quick and intelligent thinker.� People like you because you are bisexual.� You are inclined to expect too much for too little. This means your are a cheap bastard. Geminis are notorious for thriving on incest.

>Cancer (June 23 - July 22)

� You are sympathetic and understanding to other people's problems, which makes you a sucker.� You are always putting things off. That is why you will always be on welfare and won't be worth a shit.� Everyone in prison is a Cancer.

>Leo (July 23 - Aug 22)

� You consider yourself a born leader.� Others think you are an idiot. Most leos are bullies.� You are vain and cannot tolerate criticism. Your arrogance is disgusting.� Leo people are thieving motherfuckers and enjoy masturbation more than sex.

>Virgo (Aug 23 - Sept 22)

� You are the logical type and hate disorder.� Your
shit-picking attitude is sickening to your friends and
co-workers.� You are cold and unemotional and often fallasleep while fucking. Virgos make good bus drivers and pimps.

>Libra (Sept 23 - Oct 22)

� You are the artistic type and have a difficult time dealing with reality.� If you are a male you are probably queer. Chances for employment and monetary gain are nill.� Most Libra women are whores.� All Libras die of venereal disease.

>Scorpio (Oct 23 - Nov 22)

� You are the worst of the lot.� You are shrewd in business and cannot be trusted.� You shall achieve the pinnacle of success because of your total lack of ethics.� You are the perfect son-of-a-bitch.� Most Scorpios are murdered.

>Sagittarius (Nov 23 - Dec 22)

� You are optimistic and enthusiastic.� You have a reckless tendency to rely on your luck since you have no talent.� The majority of Sagittarians are drunks.� You are a worthless piece of shit.

>Capricorn (Dec 23 - Jan 22)

� You are conservative and afraid of taking risks.� You are basically chickenshit.� There has never been a Capricorn of any importance. You should kill yourself.