DARWIN AWARD WINNER FOR 1997 ANNOUNCED
>
>You all know about the Darwin Awards - It's an annual honor given
to
>the person who did the gene pool the biggest service by
>killing/injuring themselves in the most extraordinarily stupid way.
>
>The 1995 winner was the fellow who was killed by a Coke machine
>which toppled over on top of him as he was attempting to tip a free
>soda out of it.
>
>In 1996 the winner was an air force sergeant who attached a JATO
>(rocket) unit to his car and crashed into a cliff several hundred
>feet above the roadbed.
>
>And now, the 1997 winner: Larry Waters of Los Angeles -- one
of the
>few Darwin winners to survive his award-winning accomplishment.
>Larry's boyhood dream was to fly. When he graduated from high
>school, he joined the Air Force in hopes of becoming a pilot.
>Unfortunately, poor eyesight disqualified him. When he was finally
>discharged, he had to satisfy himself with watching jets fly over
>his backyard.
>
>One day, Larry, had a bright idea. He decided to fly.
He went to
>the local Army-Navy surplus store and purchased 45 weather balloons
>and several tanks of helium. The weather balloons, when fully
>inflated, would measure more than four feet across.
>
>Back home, Larry securely strapped the balloons to his sturdy lawn
>chair. He anchored the chair to the bumper of his jeep and inflated
>the balloons with the helium. He climbed on for a test while
it was
>still only a few feet above the ground.
>
>Satisfied it would work, Larry packed several sandwiches and a
>six-pack of Miller Lite, loaded his pellet gun-- figuring he could
>pop a few balloons when it was time to descend-- and went back to
>the floating lawn chair.
>
>He tied himself in along with his pellet gun and provisions. Larry's
>plan was to lazily float up to a height of about 30 feet above his
>back yard after severing the anchor and in a few hours come back
>down.
>
>Things didn't quite work out that way. When he cut the cord
>anchoring the lawn chair to his jeep, he didn't float lazily up to
>30 or so feet. Instead he streaked into the LA sky as if shot
from
>a cannon. He didn't level of at 30 feet, nor did he level off
at
>100 feet. After climbing and climbing, he leveled off at 11,000
>feet.
>
>At that height he couldn't risk shooting any of the balloons, lest
he
>unbalance the load and really find himself in trouble. So he
stayed
>there, drifting, cold and frightened, for more than 14 hours.
>
>Then he really got in trouble. He found himself drifting into the
>the primary approach corridor of Los Angeles International Airport.
>A United pilot first spotted Larry. He radioed the tower and
>described passing a guy in a lawn chair with a gun. Radar confirmed
>the existence of an object floating 11,000 feet above the airport.
>LAX emergency procedures swung into full alert and a helicopter was
>dispatched to investigate. LAX is right on the ocean. Night
was
>falling and the offshore breeze began to flow. It carried Larry
out
>to sea with the helicopter in hot pursuit. Several miles out, the
>helicopter caught up with Larry. Once the crew determined that
>Larry was not dangerous, they attempted to close in for a rescue but
>the draft from the blades would push Larry away whenever they
>neared.
>
>Finally, the helicopter ascended to a position several hundred feet
>above Larry and lowered a rescue line. Larry snagged the line and
>was hauled back to shore. The difficult maneuver was flawlessly
>executed by the helicopter crew. As soon as Larry was hauled
to
>earth, he was arrested by waiting members of the LAPD for violating
>LAX airspace. As he was led away in handcuffs, a reporter dispatched
>to cover the daring rescue asked why he had done it. Larry
>stopped,turned and replied nonchalantly, "A man can't just sit
>around."
>
>Let's hear it for Larry Waters, the 1997 Darwin Award Winner.