Guess Who
You Miss me?
Jessica Simpson sing the chorus

When you walked through the door
It was clear to me (clear to me)
You’re the one they adore, who they came to see (who they came to see)
You’re a … rock star (baby)
Everybody wants you (everybody wants you)
Player… Who can really blame you (who can really blame you)
We're the ones who made you

Back by popular demand
Now pop a little zantack or ant'-acid if you can
You're ready to tackle any task that is at hand
How does it feel, is it fantastic, is it grand?
Well look at all the massive masses in the stands
Shady man… no don’t massacre the fans
Damn, I think Kim Kardashians a man
She stomped him just cause he asked to put his hands
On her massive glutious maximus again
Squeeze it, then Squish it, then pass it to her friend
Can he come back as nasty as he can
Yes he can,can, don’t ask me this again
He does not mean to lesbian offend
But Lindsay please come back to seeing men
Samantha’s a 2, You're practically a 10
I know you want me girl,
In fact I see your grin - now come in girl

When you walked through the door
It was clear to me (clear to me)
You’re the one they adore, who they came to see (who they came to see)
You’re a … rock star (baby)
Everybody wants you (everybody wants you)
Player… Who can really blame you (who can really blame you)
We're the ones who made you

The enforcer, looking for more women to torture
Walk up to the cutest girl and Charlie Horse her
Sorry Portia, but whats Ellen DeGeneres
Have that I don't, are you telling me tenderness?
Well I can be as gentle and as smooth as a gentleman
Give me my Ventolin inhaler and 2 zenedrin
And I'll invite Sarah Palin out to dinner then
Nail her,'Baby say hello to my little friend' Brit forget K Fed lets cut off the middle man
Forget him or your gona end up in hospital again
And this time it wont be for the Ritalin binge
Forget them other men, girl pay them little attention
A little bit did I mention, that Jennifer's in love with me John Mayer
So sit on the bench
Man I swear them other guys you give em an inch
They take a mile, they got style but it isn't Slim

When you walked through the door
It was clear to me (clear to me)
You’re the one they adore, who they came to see (who they came to see)
You’re a … rockstar (baby)
Everybody wants you (everybody wants you)
Player… Who can really blame you (who can really blame you)
Were the ones who made you

And that’s why… my love
You'll never live without ,
I know you want me girl cause I can see you checking me out
And baby, you know, you know you want me too
Don’t try to deny it baby, I’m the only one for you
Damn girl I'm beginning to sprout an Alphalpha
Why should I wash my filthy mouth out
You think that’s bad you should hear the rest of my album
Never has there been so finesse and nostalgia
Man Cash,I don’t mean to mess up your gal but
Jessica Alba put a breast in my mouth but
Wowzers, I just made a mess of my trousers
And they wonder why I keep dressing like Elvis
Lord help us he's back in his pink Alf shirt
Looking like someone shrinked his outfit
I think hes about to flip
Jessica rest assure, Superman's here to rescue ya
Can you blame me?
You’re my Amy, im your Blake
Matter fact make me a birthday cake
With a saw blade in it to make my jail break
Baby, I think you just met your soul mate
(Now break it down girl)

When you walked through the door
It was clear to me (clear to me)
You’re the one they adore, who they came to see (who they came to see)
You’re a … rock star (baby)
Everybody wants you (everybody wants you)
Player… Who can really blame you (who can really blame you)
Were the ones who made you

So baby, baby
Get down, down, down

Baby, get down, down down
Baby, get down, down down
Baby, get down, get down

Baby, get down, down down
Baby, get down, down down
Baby, get down, down down
Baby, get down, get down

Oh Amy, Rehab never looked so good,
I can wait, I'm going back! Haha, whooo!
That's the DRE, 2020, Yeah

[Akon:]
Shady
Convict
Upfront
Akon
Slim Shady

I see the one, because she be that lady! Hey!
I feel you creeping on, I can see from my shadow
Wanna jump up in my Lamborghini Gallardo
Maybe go to my place and just kick it like tabo
And possibly bend you over look back and watch me

[Chorus (2X):]
Smack that all on the floor
Smack that give me some more
Smack that 'till you get sore
Smack that oh-oooh!

Upfront style ready to attack now
Pull in the parking lot slow with the lac down
Convicts got the whole thing packed now
Step in the club now and wardrobe intact now!
I feel it down and cracked now (ooh)
I see it dull and backed now
I'm gonna call her, than I pull the mack down
Money no problem, pocket full of that now!

I feel you creeping on, I can see from my shadow
Wanna jump up in my Lamborghini Gallardo
Maybe go to my place and just kick it like tabo
And possibly bend you over look back and watch me

[Chorus (2X):]
Smack that all on the floor
Smack that give me some more
Smack that 'till you get sore
Smack that oh-oooh!

[Eminem:]
Ooh...Looks like another club banger
They better hang on when they throw this thing on
Get a lil drink on
They gonna flip for this Akon shit
You can bank on it!
Pedicure medicure kitty-cat claws
The way she climbs up and down them poles
Looking like one of them putty-cat dolls
Trying to hold my woodie back through my draws
Steps upstage didn't think I saw
Creeps up behind me, shes like "yoo"
I'm like ya I know lets cut to the chase
No time to waste back to my place
Plus from the club to the crib it's like a mile away
Or more like a palace, shall I say
Plus I got pal if your gal is game
In fact he is the one singing the song that's playing
"Akon!"

[Akon:]
I feel you creeping on, I can see from my shadow
Wanna jump up in my Lamborghini Gallardo
Maybe go to my place and just kick it like tabo
And possibly bend you over look back and watch me

[Chorus (2X):]
Smack that all on the floor
Smack that give me some more
Smack that 'till you get sore
Smack that oh-oooh!

Eminem is rollin', d and em rollin' bo
And all marvelous them rolling
Women just holding big booty rollin'
Soon I'll be on Eminem throwing "D!"
Hitting on less than "Three!"
Block wheel style like "Whee!"
Girl I can tell you want me because lately

I feel you creeping on, I can see from my shadow
Wanna jump up in my Lamborghini Gallardo
Maybe go to my place and just kick it like tabo
And possibly bend you over look back and watch me

[Chorus (2X):]
Smack that all on the floor
Smack that give me some more
Smack that 'till you get sore
Smack that oh-oooh!

[Intro]
Yeah
It's my life
But all in words I guess

[Verse 1]
Have you ever loved someone so much you'd give an arm for?
Not the expression, no, literally give an arm for?
When they know they are your heart
And you know you are their armour
And you will destroy anyone who will try to harm her
But what happens when karma turns right around and bites you
And everything you stand for turns on you to spite you
What happens when you become the main source of a pain
"Daddy look what I made?"
"Dad's gotta go catch a plane"
"Daddy where's mummy? I can't find mummy, where is she?"
I don't know, go play, Hailie baby your daddy's busy.
Daddy's writin' this song, this song ain't gon' write itself
I give you one underdog, then you gotta swing by yourself
Then to write a rhyme in a song and tell her you love her
And put hands on her mother who's a spittin' image of her
That's slim shady, yeah baby slim shady's crazy
Shady make me, but tonight, Shady's rock-a-by baby

[Chorus x2]
And when I'm gone, just carry on don't mourn,
Rejoice every time you hear the sound of my voice
Just know that I'm lookin' down on you smiling
And I didn't feel a thing so baby don't feel no pain, just smile back

[Verse 2]
I keep havin' this dream - I'm pushin' hailie on the swings she keeps screamin'
She don't want me to sing, "You're makin mummy cry, why, why's mummy crying?"
Baby, Daddy ain't leavin' no more,
"Daddy you're lying,
You always say that, you always say this is the last time,
but you ain't leavin' no more, Daddy you're mine!"
She's piling boxes infront of the door tryin' to block it,
"Daddy please daddy don't leave daddy no, stop it!"
Goes in her pocket, pulls out a tiny necklace locket, it's got a picture,
"This'll keep you safe daddy, take it with you"
I look up, it's just me standin in the mirror, these fuckin walls must be talkin cos man I can hear 'em
They sayin you got one more chance to do right, and it's tonight,
Now go out there and show 'em that you love 'em 'fore its too late
And just as I go to walk out of my bedroom door it turns to a stage, they're gone
And the spotlight is on and I'm singin:

[Chorus x2]
And when I'm gone, just carry on don't mourn,
Rejoice every time you hear the sound of my voice
Just know that I'm lookin' down on you smiling
And I didn't feel a thing so baby don't feel no pain, just smile back

[Verse 3]
Sixty thousand people, all jumpin' out their seat
The curtain closes, they're throwing roses at my feet
I take a bow, "and thank you all for comin' out"
They're screamin so loud, I take one last look at the crowd
I glance down, I don't believe what I'm seein',
"Daddy it's me! Help mummy her wrists are bleedin'"
But baby we're in Sweden, how did you get to Sweden?!
"I followed you daddy, you told me that you wern't leavin
You lied to me dad, and now you make mummy sad
And I bought you this coin
It says 'number 1 dad', that's all I wanted
I just wanna give you this coin
I get the point, fine, me and mummy are goin"
But baby wait-
"its too late dad, you made the choice. Now go out there and show 'em you love 'em more than us

That's what they want
They want you Marshall, they keep
screamin your name, it's no wonder you can't go to sleep
Just take another pill, yeah be ya you will
You rap about it. Yeah word, keep it real"
I hear a pause, all this time I couldn't see
How could it be that the curtain is closing on me
I turn around, find a gun on the ground, click it, put it to my brain, scream 'Die Shady!' and pump it

The sky darkens, my life flashes,
The plane that I was supposed to be on crashes and burns to ashes
That's when I wake up, alarm clock screamin,
There's birds singin', it's spring 'n
Hailie's out side swingin'
I walk right up to Kim and kiss her, tell her I miss her
Hailie just smiles and winks at her little sister, almost as if to say-

[Chorus x2]
And when I'm gone, just carry on don't mourn,
Rejoice every time you hear the sound of my voice
Just know that I'm lookin' down on you smiling
And I didn't feel a thing so baby don't feel no pain, just smile back.

The way you shake it
I cant believe it
I aint never seen a ass like that
The way you move it
You make my pee pee go
Da doing doing doing doing

I don't believe it
Its almost too good to be true
I aint never seen a ass like that
The way you move it
You make my pee pee go
Da doing doing doing doing

The way she moves shes like a belly dancer
She shakin her ass to da new nelly jams
I think someones at the door but I don't think Im a answer
Police saying freeze
Da doing doing doing doing

What do you mean freeze?
Please Im a human being I have needs
Im not done not until Im finished peeing
I am not resisiting arrest I am agreeing
Mr. officer im already on my knees
I cant get on the ground any further its impossible for me
Do not treat me like a murderer
I just like to pee, pee pee yes I make R&B
I sing songs it go ringy chong a ching ching chong chong chee
Psych I joke I joke I kid I kid
If I offend im sorry please please forgive
For I am Triumph the puppet dog I am a mere puppet
I can get away with anything I say and you will love it

The way you shake it
I cant believe it
I aint never seen a ass like that
The way you move it
You make my pee pee go
Da doing doing doing doing

Jessica Simpson looks oh so tempting
Nick, I aint ever seen a ass like that
Every time I see that show on MTV my pee pee goes
Da doing doing doing doing

Mary Kate and Ashley used to be so wholesome
Now there getting older there starting to grow bum bums
I go to the movies and sit down with my popcorn
Police saying freeze
Da doing doing doing doing

What do you mean freeze? Geez, I just got my seats
I have ticket look, I put away my zipper zipped
Please do not remove me from this movie theatre please
I did not even get to see Mary Kates shower scene
I didn't mean to be obscene or to make a great big scene
And don't treat me like im Pee-Wee Herman this movie is PG
And Mr. Officer I demand to see my attorney
I will simply plea innocent cop a plea and be free
Free yes free right back on the streets
What you mean my lawyers with Michael he is too busy?
I am Triumph, Britney Spears has shoulders like a man
And I can say that and you'll laugh cuz theres a puppet on my hand

The way you shake it
I cant believe it
I aint never seen a ass like that
The way you move it
You make my pee pee go
Da doing doing doing doing

Hillary Duff is not quite old enough
So I aint never seen a butt like that
Maybe next year ill say ass and she'll make my pee pee go
Da doing doing doing doing

The way she moves she dances like a go go
In that video she sings get out your (pozo?)
I need a new boyfriend hi my name is jojo
Police saying freeze
Da doing doing doing doing

What do you mean freeze?
My computers will be seized
And my keys to my ranch I just made cookies
Mr. Officer lookie take a whiff of these
Here I make Jesus juice take a sip of this
Nobody is safe from me no not even me
I don't even know if I can say the word pee pee
Pee on the radio, but I think I did
Janet is that a brest, I think I just saw a tit
Psych I joke I joke I kid I kid
I don't think my joke is working I must flee quick
Get to the chopper everybody get out
I am not Triumph, I am Arnold get out!

The way you shake it
I cant believe it
I aint never seen a ass like that
The way you move it
You make my pee pee go
Da doing doing doing doing

So Gwen Stephanie will you pee pee on me please
I aint never seen a ass like that
Cuz the way you move it
You make my pee pee go
Da doing doing doing doing

Yeah
I know sometimes things may not always make sense to you right now
But hey, what daddy always tell you?
Straighten up little soldier
Stiffen up that other limb
What you crying about?
You got me

Hailie I know you miss your mom and I know you miss your dad
Well I´m gone but I´m trying to give you the life that I never had
I can see you´re sad, even when you smile, even when you laugh
I can see it in your eyes, deep inside you want to cry
Cuz you´re scared, I ain´t there?
Daddy´s with you in your prayers
No more crying, wipe them tears
Daddy´s here, no more nightmares
We gon´ pull together through it, we gon´ do it
Laney uncles crazy, aint he?
Yeah but he loves you girl and you better know it
We´re all we got in this world
When it spins, when it swirls
When it whirls, when it twirls
Two little beautiful girls
Lookin´ puzzled, in a daze
I know it´s confusing you
Daddy´s always on the move, mamma´s always on the news
I try to keep you sheltered from it but somehow it seems
The harder that I try to do that, the more it backfires on me
All the things growing up his daddy that he had to see
Daddy don´t want you to see but you see just as much as he did
We did not plan it to be this way, your mother and me
But things have gotten so bad between us
I don´t see us ever being together ever again
Like we used to be when we was teenagers
But then of course everything always happens for a reason
I guess it was never meant to be
But it´s just something we have no control over and that´s what destiny is
But no more worries, rest your head and go to sleep
Maybe one day we´ll wake up and this will all just be a dream

[Chorus]
Now hush little baby, don´t you cry
Every thing´s gonna be alright
Stiffen that upper lip up little lady, i told ya
Daddy´s here to hold ya through the night
I know mommy´s not here right now and we don´t know why
We feel how we feel inside
It may seem a little crazy, pretty baby
But i promise momma´s gon´ be alright

It´s funny
I remember back one year when daddy had no money
Mommy wrapped the Christmas presents up
And stuck ´em under the tree and said some of ´em were from me
Cuz daddy couldn´t buy ´em
I´ll never forget that Christmas I sat up the whole night crying
Cuz daddy felt like a bum, see daddy had a job
But his job was to keep the food on the table for you and mom
And at the time every house that we lived in
Either kept getting broke into and robbed
Or shot up on the block and your mom was saving money for you in a jar
Tryna start a piggy bank for you so you could go to college
Almost had a thousand dollars till someone broke in and stole it
And I know it hurt so bad it broke your momma´s heart
And it seemed like everything was just startin´ to fall apart
Mom and dad was arguin´ a lot so momma moved back
On the Chalmers in the flat one bedroom apartment
And dad moved back to the other side of 8 Mile on Novara
And that´s when daddy went to California with his CD and met Dr. Dre
And flew you and momma out to see me
But daddy had to
work, you and momma had to leave me
Then you started seeing daddy on the T.V. and momma didn´t like it
And you and Laney were to young to understand it
Papa was a rollin´ stone, momma developed a habit
And it all happened too fast for either one of us to grab it
I´m just sorry you were there and had to witness it first hand
Cuz all I ever wanted to do was just make you proud
Now I´m sittin in this empty house, just reminiscing
Lookin´ at your baby pictures, it just trips me out
To see how much you both have grown, it´s almost like you´re sisters now
Wow, guess you pretty much are and daddy´s still here
Laney I´m talkin´ to you too, daddy´s still here
I like the sound of that, yeah
It´s got a ring to it don´t it?
Shh, momma´s only gone for the moment

[Chorus]

And if you ask me too
Daddy´s gonna buy you a mockingbird
I´mma give you the world
I´mma buy a diamond ring for you
I´mma sing for you
I´ll do anything for you to see you smile
And if that mockingbird don´t sing and that ring don´t shine
I´mma break that birdies neck
I´d go back to the jewler who sold it to ya
And make him eat every carat don´t fuck with dad (haha)

Step by step, heart to heart, left right left
We all fall down...

[Chorus]
Step by step, heart to heart, left right left
We all fall down like toy soldiers
Bit by bit, torn apart, we never win
But the battle wages on for toy soldiers

[Verse 1]
I'm supposed to be the soldier who never blows his composure
Even though I hold the weight of the whole world on my shoulders
I am never supposed to show it, my crew ain't supposed to know it
Even if it means goin' toe to toe with a Benzino it don't matter
I'd never drag them in battles that I can handle unless I absolutely have to
I'm supposed to set an example
I need to be the leader, my crew looks for me to guide 'em
If some shit ever just pop off, I'm supposed to be beside 'em
Now Ja said "I tried to squash it, it was too late to stop it"
There's a certain line you just don't cross and he crossed it
I heard him say Hailie's name on a song and I just lost it
It was crazy, this shit be way beyond some Jay-z and Nas shit
And even though the battle was won, I feel like we lost it
I spent too much energy on it, honestly I'm exhausted
And I'm so caught in it I almost feel I'm the one who caused it
This ain't what I'm in hip-hop for, it's not why I got in it
That was never my object for someone to get killed
Why would I wanna destroy something I help build
It wasn't my intentions, my intentions was good
I went through my whole career without ever mentionin'

Now it's just out of respect for not runnin' my mouth
And talkin' about something that I knew nothing about
Plus Dre told me stay out, this just wasn't my beef
So I did, I just fell back, watched and gritted my teeth
While he's all over t.v. down talkin' a man who literally saved my life
Like fuck it i understand this is business
And this shit just isn't none of my business
But still knowin' this shit could pop off at any minute cuz

[Chorus]

[Verse 2]
There used to be a time when you could just say a rhyme
And wouldn't have to worry about one of your people dyin'
But now it's elevated cuz once you put someone's kids in it
The shit gets escalated, it ain't just words no more is it?
It's a different ball game, callin' names and you ain't just rappin'
We actually tried to stop the 50 and Ja beef from happenin'
Me and Dre had sat with him, kicked it and had a chat with him
And asked him not to start it he wasn't gonna go after him
Until Ja started yappin' in magazines how we stabbed him
Fuck it 50 smash 'em, mash 'em and let him have it
Meanwhile my attention is pullin' in other directions
Some receptionist at The Source who answers phones at his desk
Has an erection for me and thinks that I'll be his ressurection
Tries to blow the dust off his mic and make a new record
But now he's fucked the game up cuz one of the ways I came up
Was through that publication the same one that made me famous
Now the owner of it has got a grudge against me for nothin'
Well fuck it, that mutherfucker can get it too, fuck him then
But I'm so busy being pissed off I don't stop to think
That we just inherited 50's beef with Murder Inc.
And he's inherited mine which is fine ain't like either of us mind
We still have soldiers that's on the front line
That's willing to die for us as soon as we give the orders
Never to extort us, strictly to show they support us
We'll maybe shout 'em out in a rap or up in a chorus
To show them we love 'em back and let 'em know how important it is
To have Runyon Avenue soldiers up in our corners
Their loyalty to us is worth more than any award is
But I ain't tryna have none of my people hurt and murdered
There ain't words that I can't think of a perfecter way to word it
Then to just say that I love ya'll too much to see the virdict
I'll walk away from it all before I let it go any further
But don't get it twisted, it's not a plea that I'm coppin'
I'm just willin' to be the bigger man
If ya'll can quit poppin' off at your jaws with the knockin'
Cuz frankly I'm sick of talkin'
I'm not gonna let someone elses coffin rest on my conscience cuz

[Chorus]

Into: (Eminem making sounds)
ok..
Guess who's back
Back again
Shady's back
Tell a friend
Now everyone report to the dance floor
To the dance floor, to the dance floor
Now everyone report to the dance floor
Alright Stop...Pajama time

Verse 1:
Come here little kiddies,On my lap
Guess who's back with a brand new rap
And i don't mean rap as in a new case of child investigation accusation
Aah aah aah aah aah
now worries, pappa's got a brand new bag of toys
what else could i possibly do to make noise
I'd an touched on everything, but little boys
That's not a stab at Micheal
That's just a metaphore, I'm just physco
I go a little bit crazy sometimes
I get a little bit out of control with my rhymes
Good god, dip, do a little slide
Band down, touch your toes and just glide
Up the center of the dance floor
Like teepee from my bum hole in the school if you let one go
Nobody's gonna know who'd hear it
Give a little "poot poot", it's ok (Fart Sound)
Oops my cd just skipped
And everyone just heard you let one rip

Chorus:
Now I'm gonna make you dance
It's your chance
Yeah boy shake that ass,
Oops i mean girl girl girl girl
Girl you know you're my world
Alright now lose it
Aah aah aah aah aah
Just lose it
Aah aah aah aah aah
Go crazy
Aah aah aah aah aah
Oh baby
Aah aah
Oh baby baby aah aah

Verse 2:
It's Friday and it's my day
Used to party all the way to sunday
Maybe till monday, i dunno what day
Everyday's just a holiday
Crusin' on the freeway
Feelin' kinda breezy
Got the top down, let my hair blow
I dunno where i'm goin'
All I know is when i get there
Someones gonna touch my body
Excuse me miss, I don't mean to sound like a jerk
But I'm feel just a little stressed out from work
Could you punch me in the stomach and pull my hair Spit on me, maybe gouge my eyes out...yeah
What's your name girl
What's your sign
man you must be up out your mind
Dre aah aah
Beer goggles blind
I'm just trying to unwind

Chorus:
Now I'm gonna make you dance
It's your chance
Yeah boy shake that ass,
Oops i mean girl girl girl girl
Girl you know you're my world
Alright now lose it
Aah aah aah aah aah
Just lose it
Aah aah aah aah aah
Go crazy
Aah aah aah aah aah
Oh baby
Aah aah
Oh baby baby aah aah

Verse 3:
It's Tuesday and I'm locked up
I'm in jail and i don't know what happend
They say I was running butt naked
Down the street screaming
Aah aah aah aah aah
mother I'm sorry, I don't remember
All I know is this much
I'm not guilty
They said save it
boy we catch you on tape
tellin an old lady, touch my body
Now this is the part where the rap breaks down
It's really tense, no one makes a sound
Everything looks like it's 8 Mile now
The beat comes back and everybody lose themselves
A step back to reality
Look it's B.Rabbit
You signed me up to battle
I'm a grown man
Duba duba duba duba duba duba
I don't have any lines to go right here so
Duba duba duba duba fella's what? fella's what?
Grab you left nut, make right one jealous what?
Black girls
White girls
Skinny girls
Fat girls
Tall girls
Small girls
I'm calling all girls
Everyone report to the dance floor
It's your chance for a little romentor
Butt squeezin it's the season
Just go aah aah aah aah
It's so appealing

Chorus:
Now I'm gonna make you dance
It's your chance
Yeah boy shake that ass,
Oops i mean girl girl girl girl
Girl you know you're my world
Alright now lose it
Aah aah aah aah aah
Just lose it
Aah aah aah aah aah
Go crazy
Aah aah aah aah aah
Oh baby
Aah aah
Oh baby baby aah aah
Outro:
Mmmmm touch my body
Mmmmm touch my body
Ooh boy just touch my body
I mean girl just touch my body

Love Always *Sin-D*

((Dre))
Marshall...sounds like an S.O.S.

((Eminem))
Holy wack unlyrical lyrics Andre you're fucking right!

((Dr Dre))
To the rap mobile, let's go!

(Lady)
Marshall!
Marshall!

((Eminem))
Bitches and Gentleman!
It's showtime!
Hurry, hurry step right up!
Introducing the star of our show, his name is...

((Lady))
Marshall!

((Eminem))
You wouldn't wanna be anywhere else in the world right now
So without futher adeau, I bring to you...

(Lady)
Marshall!

Verse 1:
Your bout to witness hip hop in its
Most purest, most rawest form flow, almost flawless
Most hardest, most honest, known artist
Chip off the old block but old doc is back!
Looks like Batman, brought his own Robin
Oh god, Sadams got his own Laden
With his on private plane, his on pilot
Set to blow college dorm room doors off the hinges
Oranges, peach, pears, plums syringes
VRRM VRRM Here, here I come
Im inches away from you, dear fear none
Hip hop is in a state of nine-one one, so..

Chorus x2:
Let's get down to business
I don't got no time to play around what is this?
Must be a circus in town let's shut the shit down
On these clowns, can I getta witness? Hell Yeah!

Verse 2:
Quick gotta move fast, gotta perform miracles
Gee wilikers Dre, holy bat syllables
Look at all the bullshit that goes on in Gotham
When I'm gone time to get rid of these rap criminals
So, skip to your lou, while I do what I do best
You ain't even impressed no more, you used to it
Flows too wet, nobody close to it
Nobody says it , but everyone knows the shit
The most hated on outta all those who say they get hated on
in eighty songs and
exagerate it all So much
they make it all up
There's no such thing
Like a female with good looks who cooks and cleans
It just means so much more to so much more
People when you rapping and you know what for
The show must go on, so I'd like to welcome ya'll
To Marshall and Andre's carnival
C'mon, now!

Chorus x2

Verse 3:
It's just like old times, the dynamic duo
Two old friends, why panic?
You already know who's is fully capable, the two capped heroes
Dial straight down the center 8-0-0
You can even call collect, the most feared duet
Since me and Elton, played career russian roulette
And never even seen me blink, or get to busting a sweat
People stepping over people just to rush to the set
Just to get to see an MC who breathes so freely
Ease over these beats, and be so breezy
Jesus, how can shit be so easy
How can one Chandra be so Levy
Turn on these beats MC's dont see me
Believe me, BET and MTV
are gonna grieve when we leave, dawg fo sheezy
Can't leave rap alone the game needs me
'Til we grow beards, get weird and disappear into the mountains
Nothing but clowns down here
But we, ain't fucking around round here
Yo Dre! .. what up? Can i get a hell? HELL YEAH!

Chorus x2

((Eminem))
So there you have it folks

((Lady))
Marshall!

((Eminem))
Has come to save the day
Back with his friend Andre
And to remind you that bullshit does not pay Because

((Lady))
Marshall!

((Eminem))
And Andre are here to stay and never go away
Until our dying day, until we're old and grey

((Lady))
Marshall!

((Eminem))
So until next time friends
Same blonde hair, same rap channel
Goodnight everyone, thank you for coming
Your host for the evening

((Lady))
Marshall!

((Eminem))
Oh, hah

[Eminem]
These ideas are, nightmares to white parents
whose worst fear is a child with dyed hair and who likes earrings
Like whatever they say has no bearing
It's so scary in a house that allows, no swearing
to see him walkin around with his headphones blaring
Alone in his own zone, cold and he don't care
He's a problem child, and what bothers him all comes out
when he talks about, his fuckin dad walkin out
Cause he just hates him so bad that he, blocks him out
If he ever saw him again he'd probably knock him out
His thoughts are whacked, he's mad so he's talkin back
Talkin black, brainwashed from rock and rap
He sags his pants; doo rags and a stockin cap
His step-father hit him so he, socked him back
and broke his nose, his house is a broken home
There's no control, he just let's his emotions go

[Chorus: Eminem]
C'mon! Sing with me (Sing!)
Sing for the year (Sing it)
Sing for the laughter, sing for the tear (C'mon!)
Sing it with me, Just for today
Maybe tomorrow, the good Lord will take you away...

[Eminem]
Entertainment is changin, intertwinin with gangsters
In the land of the killers a sinner's mind is a sanctum
Holy or unnholy, only have one homie
Only this gun - lonely cause don't anyone know me
Yet everybody just feels like they can relate
I guess words are a motherfucker, they can be great
or they can degrate; or even worse, they can teach hate
It's like these kids hang on every single statement we make
like they worship us, plus all the stores ship us platinum
Now how the fuck did this metamorphosis happen?
From standin on corners and porches just rappin
to havin a fortune, no more kissin ass
But then these critics crucify you, journalists try to burn you
Fans turn on you, attorneys all want a turn at you
to get they hands on every dime you have
They want you to lose your mind every time you mad
So they can try to make you out to look like a loose cannon
Any dispute won't hesitate to produce handguns
That's why these prosecutors wanna convict me
Strictly just to get me off of these streets quickly
But all they kids be listenin to me religiously
So I'm signin CD's while police fingerprint me
They're for the judge's daughter but his grudge is against me
If I'm such a fuckin menace this shit doesn't make sense B!
It's all political, if my music is literal
and I'm a criminal how the FUCK can I raise a little girl?
I couldn't; I wouldn't be fit to
You're full of shit too Guerrera - that was a FIST that hit you!

[Chorus]

[Eminem]
They say music can alter moods and talk to you
Well can it load a gun up for you and cock it too?
Well if it can, and the next time you assault a dude
Just tell the judge it was my fault, and I'll get sued
See what these kids do is hear about us totin pistols
and they want to get one cause, they think the shit's cool
Not knowin we really just protectin ourselves
We entertainers, of course the shit's affectin our sales
You ignoramus, but music is reflection of self
We just explain it, and then we get our checks in the mail
It's fucked up ain't it? How we can come from practically nothin
to bein able to have any fuckin thing that we wanted
That's why we, sing for these kids who don't have a thing
except for a dream and a fuckin rap magazine
Who post pin-up pictures on they walls all day long
Idolize they favorite rappers and know all they songs
Or for anyone who's ever been through shit in they lives
'Til they sit and they cry at night wishin they'd die
'Til they throw on a rap record and they sit and they vibe
We're nothin to you - but we're the fuckin shit in they eyes
That's why we, seize the moment try to freeze it and own it
Squeeze it and hold it, cause we consider these minutes golden
And maybe they'll admit it when we're gone, just let our spirits live on
through our lyrics that you hear in our songs and we can...

[Chorus] - repeat 2X

Look, if you had one shot, one opportunity
To seize everything you ever wanted-In One moment
Would you capture it or just let it slip?

His palms are sweaty, knees weak, arms are heavy
There's vomit on his sweater already, mom's spaghetti
He's nervous, but on the surface he looks calm and ready
To drop bombs, but he keeps on forgettin
What he wrote down, the whole crowd goes so loud
He opens his mouth, but the words won't come out
He's chokin, how everybody's jokin now
The clock's run out, time's up over, bloah!
Snap back to reality, Oh there goes gravity
Oh, there goes Rabbit, he choked
He's so mad, but he won't give up that
Is he? No
He won't have it , he knows his whole back city's ropes
It don't matter, he's dope
He knows that, but he's broke
He's so stacked that he knows
When he goes back to his mobile home, that's when it's
Back to the lab again yo
This whole rap shit
He better go capture this moment and hope it don't pass him

[Hook:]
You better lose yourself in the music, the moment
You own it, you better never let it go
You only get one shot, do not miss your chance to blow
This opportunity comes once in a lifetime yo

The soul's escaping, through this hole that it's gaping
This world is mine for the taking
Make me king, as we move toward a, new world order
A normal life is borin, but superstardom's close to post mortar
It only grows harder, only grows hotter
He blows us all over these hoes is all on him
Coast to coast shows, he's know as the globetrotter
Lonely roads, God only knows
He's grown farther from home, he's no father
He goes home and barely knows his own daughter
But hold your nose cuz here goes the cold water
His hoes don't want him no mo, he's cold product
They moved on to the next schmoe who flows
He nose dove and sold nada
So the soap opera is told and unfolds
I suppose it's old potna, but the beat goes on
Da da dum da dum da da

[Hook:]
You better lose yourself in the music, the moment
You own it, you better never let it go
You only get one shot, do not miss your chance to blow
This opportunity comes once in a lifetime yo

No more games, I'ma change what you call rage
Tear this mothafuckin roof off like 2 dogs caged
I was playin in the beginnin, the mood all changed
I been chewed up and spit out and booed off stage
But I kept rhymin and stepwritin the next cypher
Best believe somebody's payin the pied piper
All the pain inside amplified by the fact
That I can't get by with my 9 to 5
And I can't provide the right type of life for my family
Cuz man, these goddam food stamps don't buy diapers
And it's no movie, there's no Mekhi Phifer, this is my life
And these times are so hard and it's getting even harder
Tryin to feed and water my seed, plus
See dishonor caught up between bein a father and a prima donna
Baby mama drama's screamin on and
Too much for me to wanna
Stay in one spot, another jam or not
Has gotten me to the point, I'm like a snail
I've got to formulate a plot fore I end up in jail or shot
Success is my only mothafuckin option, failure's not
Mom, I love you, but this trail has got to go
I cannot grow old in Salem's lot
So here I go is my shot.
Feet fail me not cuz maybe the only opportunity that I got

[Hook:]
You better lose yourself in the music, the moment
You own it, you better never let it go
You only get one shot, do not miss your chance to blow
This opportunity comes once in a lifetime yo

[Intro]
Where's my snare?
I have no snare in my headphones - there you go
Yeah.. yo, yo

[Eminem]
Have you ever been hated or discriminated against?
I have; I've been protested and demonstrated against
Picket signs for my wicked rhymes, look at the times
Sick as the mind of the motherfuckin kid that's behind
all this commotion emotions run deep as ocean's explodin
Tempers flarin from parents just blow 'em off and keep goin
Not takin nothin from no one give 'em hell long as I'm breathin
Keep kickin ass in the mornin and takin names in the evenin
Leave 'em with a taste as sour as vinegar in they mouth
See they can trigger me, but they'll never figure me out
Look at me now; I bet ya probably sick of me now ain't you momma?
I'ma make you look so ridiculous now
[Chorus: Eminem]
I'm sorry momma!
I never meant to hurt you!
I never meant to make you cry; but tonight
I'm cleanin out my closet (one more time)
I said I'm sorry momma!
I never meant to hurt you!
I never meant to make you cry; but tonight
I'm cleanin out my closet

[Eminem]
Ha! I got some skeletons in my closet
and I don't know if no one knows it
So before they thrown me inside my coffin and close it
I'ma expose it; I'll take you back to '73
before I ever had a multi-platinum sellin CD
I was a baby, maybe I was just a couple of months
My faggot father must have had his panties up in a bunch
cause he split, I wonder if he even kissed me goodbye
No I don't on second thought I just fuckin wished he would die
I look at Hailie, and I couldn't picture leavin her side
Even if I hated Kim, I grit my teeth and I'd try
to make it work with her at least for Hailie's sake

I maybe made some mistakes
but I'm only human, but I'm man enough to face them today
What I did was stupid, no doubt it was dumb
But the smartest shit I did was take the bullets outta that gun
Cuz I'da killed him; shit I woulda shot Kim and them both
It's my life, I'd like to welcome y'all to "The Eminem Show"

[Chorus: Eminem]
I'm sorry momma!
I never meant to hurt you!
I never meant to make you cry; but tonight
I'm cleanin out my closet (one more time)
I said I'm sorry momma!
I never meant to hurt you!
I never meant to make you cry; but tonight
I'm cleanin out my closet

[Eminem]
Now I would never diss my own momma just to get recognition
Take a second to listen for who you think this record is dissin
But put yourself in my position; just try to envision
witnessin your momma poppin prescription pills in the kitchen
Bitchin that someone's always goin throuh her purse and shit's missin
Goin through public housin systems, victim of Munchausen's Syndrome
My whole life I was made to believe I was sick when I wasn't
'til I grew up, now I blew up, it makes you sick to ya stomach
doesn't it? Wasn't it the reason you made that CD for me Ma?
So you could try to justify the way you treated me Ma?
But guess what? You're gettin older now and it's cold when your lonely
And Nathan's growin up so quick he's gonna know that your phony
And Hailie's gettin so big now; you should see her, she's beautiful
But you'll never see her - she won't even be at your funeral!
See what hurts me the most is you won't admit you was wrong
Bitch do your song - keep tellin yourself that you was a mom!
But how dare you try to take what you didn't help me to get
You selfish bitch; I hope you fuckin burn in hell for this shit
Remember when Ronnie died and you said you wished it was me?
Well guess what, I +AM+ dead - dead to you as can be!

[Chorus: Eminem]
I'm sorry momma!
I never meant to hurt you!
I never meant to make you cry; but tonight
I'm cleanin out my closet (one more time)
I said I'm sorry momma!
I never meant to hurt you!
I never meant to make you cry; but tonight
I'm cleanin out my closet

[Chorus: Eminem]
I'm sorry momma!
I never meant to hurt you!
I never meant to make you cry; but tonight
I'm cleanin out my closet (one more time)
I said I'm sorry momma!
I never meant to hurt you!
I never meant to make you cry; but tonight
I'm cleanin out my closet

Obie Trice]
"Obie Trice, Real Name No Gimmicks..."

[Beat Changes]

[Eminem]
Two trailer park girls go round the outside,
round the outside, round the outside.
Two trailer park girls go round the outside,
round the outside, round the outside.

[Female Voice]
"Ooooohhhhh!"

[Eminem]
Guess who's back, back again
Shady's back, tell a friend
Guess who's back, guess who's back,
guess who's back, guess who's back,
guess who's back, guess who's back,
guess who's back...

[Eminem]
I've created a monster, cuz nobody wants to
See Marshall no more they want Shady
I'm chopped liver
Well if you want Shady, then this is what I'll give ya
A little bit of weed mixed with some hard liquor
Some vodka that will jumpstart my heart quicker
Then a shock when I get shocked at the hospital
By the Dr. when I'm not cooperating
When I'm rocking the table while he's operating "Hey"
You waited this long to stop debating
Cuz I'm back, I'm on the rag and ovulating
I know you got a job Ms. Cheney
But your husbands heart problem is complicated
So the FCC won't let me be
Or let me be me so let me see
They tried to shut me down on MTV
But it feels so empty without me
So come on dip, bum on your lips
Fuck that cum on your lips and some on your tits
And get ready cuz this shit's about to get heavy
I just settled all my lawsuits, "Fuck you Debbie!"

Chorus:
Now this looks like a job for me
So everybody just follow me
Cuz we need a little controversy,
Cuz it feels so empty without me

I said this looks like a job for me
So everybody just follow me
Cuz we need a little controversy,
Cuz it feels so empty without me

[Eminem]
Little hellions, kids feeling rebellious
Embarrassed, their parents still listen to Elvis
They start feeling like prison is helpless,
Til someone comes along on a mission and yells "bitch"
A visionary, vision is scary, could start a revolution,
Pollutin' the air waves a rebel
So let me just revel and bask,
In the fact that I got everyone kissing my ass
And it's a disaster such a catastrophe
For you to see so damn much of my ass you ask for me?
Well I'm back (*Batman Noise*) fix your bent antenna
Tune it in and then I'm gonna enter
Into the front of your skin like a splinter
The center of attention back for the winter
I'm interesting, the best thing since wrestling
Infesting in your kids ears and nesting
Testing "Attention Please"
Feel the tension soon as someone mentions me
Here's my 10 cents my 2 cents is free
A nuisa ce, who sent, you sent for me?

Chorus:
Now this looks like a job for me
So everybody just follow me
Cuz we need a little controversy,
Cuz it feels so empty without me

I said this looks like a job for me
So everybody just follow me
Cuz we need a little controversy,
Cuz it feels so empty without me

Chorus:
Now this looks like a job for me
So everybody just follow me
Cuz we need a little controversy,
Cuz it feels so empty without me

I said this looks like a job for me
So everybody just follow me
Cuz we need a little controversy,
Cuz it feels so empty without me

[Eminem]
A tisk-it a task-it,
I go tit for tat with anybody who's talking this shit that shit
Chris Kirkpatrick, you can get your ass kicked
Worse than them little Limp Bizkit bastards,
And Moby, you can get stomped by Obie,
You 36 year old bald headed fag blow me
You don't know me, you're too old
Let go, it's over, nobody listens to techno
Now lets go, just give me the signal
I will be there with a whole list full of new insults
I've been dope, suspenseful with a pencil
Ever since Prince turned himself into a symbol
But sometimes the shit just seems,
Everybody only wants to discuss me
So this means I'm disgusting,
But its just me I'm just obscene
Though I'm not the first king of controversy
I am the worst thing since Elvis Presley,
To do Black Music so selfishly
And use it to get myself wealthy (Hey)
There's a concept that works
20 million other white rappers emerge
But no matter how many fish in the sea
It'll be so empty without me

Chorus:
Now this looks like a job for me
So everybody just follow me
Cuz we need a little controversy,
Cuz it feels so empty without me

I said this looks like a job for me
So everybody just follow me
Cuz we need a little controversy,
Cuz it feels so empty without me

Chorus:
Now this looks like a job for me
So everybody just follow me
Cuz we need a little controversy,
Cuz it feels so empty without me

I said this looks like a job for me
So everybody just follow me
Cuz we need a little controversy,
Cuz it feels so empty without me

Gana la la la, la la la la la, la la la la la, la la la la
Gana la la la, la la la la la, la la la la la, la la la la

"Kids!"

Chorus: Dido

My tea's gone cold I'm wondering why I..
got out of bed at all
The morning rain clouds up my window..
and I can't see at all
And even if I could it'll all be gray,
but your picture on my wall
It reminds me, that it's not so bad,
it's not so bad..

1st Chorus: volume gradually grows over raindrop background
2nd Chorus: full volume with beat right after "thunder" noise

[Eminem as 'Stan']
Dear Slim, I wrote but you still ain't callin
I left my cell, my pager, and my home phone at the bottom
I sent two letters back in autumn, you must not-a got 'em
There probably was a problem at the post office or somethin
Sometimes I scribble addresses too sloppy when I jot 'em
but anyways; fuck it, what's been up? Man how's your daughter?
My girlfriend's pregnant too, I'm bout to be a father
If I have a daughter, guess what I'ma call her?
I'ma name her Bonnie
I read about your Uncle Ronnie too I'm sorry
I had a friend kill himself over some bitch who didn't want him
I know you probably hear this everyday, but I'm your biggest fan
I even got the underground shit that you did with Skam
I got a room full of your posters and your pictures man
I like the shit you did with Rawkus too, that shit was fat
Anyways, I hope you get this man, hit me back,
just to chat, truly yours, your biggest fan
This is Stan

{Chorus: Dido}

[Eminem as 'Stan']
Dear Slim, you still ain't called or wrote, I hope you have a chance
I ain't mad - I just think it's FUCKED UP you don't answer fans
If you didn't wanna talk to me outside your concert
you didn't have to, but you coulda signed an autograph for Matthew
That's my little brother man, he's only six years old
We waited in the blistering cold for you,
four hours and you just said, "No."
That's pretty shitty man - you're like his fuckin idol
He wants to be just like you man, he likes you more than I do
I ain't that mad though, I just don't like bein lied to
Remember when we met in Denver - you said if I'd write you
you would write back - see I'm just like you in a way
I never knew my father neither;
he used to always cheat on my mom and beat her
I can relate to what you're saying in your songs
so when I have a shitty day, I drift away and put 'em on
cause I don't really got shit else so that shit helps when I'm depressed
I even got a tattoo of your name across the chest
Sometimes I even cut myself to see how much it bleeds
It's like adrenaline, the pain is such a sudden rush for me
See everything you say is real, and I respect you cause you tell it
My girlfriend's jealous cause I talk about you 24/7
But she don't know you like I know you Slim, no one does
She don't know what it was like for people like us growin up
You gotta call me man, I'll be the biggest fan you'll ever lose
Sincerely yours, Stan -- P.S.
We should be together too

{Chorus: Dido}

[Eminem as 'Stan']
Dear Mister-I'm-Too-Good-To-Call-Or-Write-My-Fans,
this'll be the last package I ever send your ass
It's been six months and still no word - I don't deserve it?
I know you got my last two letters;
I wrote the addresses on 'em perfect
So this is my cassette I'm sending you, I hope you hear it
I'm in the car right now, I'm doing 90 on the freeway
Hey Slim, I drank a fifth of vodka, you dare me to drive?
You know the song by Phil Collins, "In the Air of the Night"
about that guy who coulda saved that other guy from drowning
but didn't, then Phil saw it all, then at a a show he found him?
That's kinda how this is, you coulda rescued me from drowning
Now it's too late - I'm on a 1000 downers now, I'm drowsy
and all I wanted was a lousy letter or a call
I hope you know I ripped +ALL+ of your pictures off the wall
I love you Slim, we coulda been together, think about it
You ruined it now, I hope you can't sleep and you dream about it
And when you dream I hope you can't sleep and you SCREAM about it
I hope your conscience EATS AT YOU and you can't BREATHE without me
See Slim; {*screaming*} Shut up bitch! I'm tryin to talk!
Hey Slim, that's my girlfriend screamin in the trunk
but I didn't slit her throat, I just tied her up, see I ain't like you
cause if she suffocates she'll suffer more, and then she'll die too
Well, gotta go, I'm almost at the bridge now
Oh shit, I forgot, how'm I supposed to send this shit out?
{*car tires squeal*} {*CRASH*}
.. {*brief silence*} .. {*LOUD splash*}

{Chorus: Dido}

[Eminem]
Dear Stan, I meant to write you sooner but I just been busy
You said your girlfriend's pregnant now, how far along is she?
Look, I'm really flattered you would call your daughter that
and here's an autograph for your brother,
I wrote it on the Starter cap
I'm sorry I didn't see you at the show, I musta missed you
Don't think I did that shit intentionally just to diss you
But what's this shit you said about you like to cut your wrists too?
I say that shit just clownin dogg,
c'mon - how fucked up is you?
You got some issues Stan, I think you need some counseling
to help your ass from bouncing off the walls when you get down some
And what's this shit about us meant to be together?
That type of shit'll make me not want us to meet each other
I really think you and your girlfriend need each other
or maybe you just need to treat her better
I hope you get to read this letter, I just hope it reaches you in time
before you hurt yourself, I think that you'll be doin just fine
if you relax a little, I'm glad I inspire you but Stan
why are you so mad? Try to understand, that I do want you as a fan
I just don't want you to do some crazy shit
I seen this one shit on the news a couple weeks ago that made me sick
Some dude was drunk and drove his car over a bridge
and had his girlfriend in the trunk, and she was pregnant with his kid
and in the car they found a tape, but they didn't say who it was to
Come to think about, his name was.. it was you
Damn!

Whatever
Dre just let it run
Ay yo turn the beat up a little bit
Ay yo this song is for anyone
Fuck it just shut up and listen
Ay yo
I sit back with this pack of zigzags
And this bag of this weed
It gives me the shit needed to be
The most meanest emcee on this on this earth
Cause since birth I've been cursed with this curse to just cursed
And just blurt this bezerk and bizarre shit that works
And it sells and it helps in its self
To relieve all this tension dispensing me
Sentence is getting it, stress has been eating me recently
All through this chest and I rest to get peacefully
But at least have the decency in you to leave me alone
When you freaks see me out in the streets when I'm eating or feedin' my daughter
To not come and speak to me
I don't know you and no I don't owe you a motherfuckin thing
I'm not Mr. NSYNC and I'm not what your friends think
I'm not Mr. Friendly
I can be a prick, if you tip me my tank is on empty
No patience is in me and if you offend me I'm lifting you ten feet
In the air, I don't care who was there and who saw me just jaw you
Go call you a lawyer file you a lawsuit
I'll smile in the courtroom and buy you a wardrobe
I'm tired of arguing - I don't mean to mean but it's all I can be
It's just me
And I am
Whatever you say I am
If I wasn't, then why would I say I am?
In the papers, the news, everyday I am
Radio won't even play my jam
Cause I am
Whatever you say I am
If I wasn't, then why would I say I am?
In the papers, the news, everyday I am
I don't know it's just the way I am
Sometimes I just feel like my father, I hate to be bothered
With all of this nonsense it's constant
And "oh it's just lyrical content!"
The song "Guilty Conscience" has gotten such rotten responses
And all of this controversy circles me
And it seems like the media immediately points a finger at me
So I point one back at 'em
But not the index or the pinky or the ring or the thumb
It's the one you put up when you don't give a fuck
When you won't just put up with the bullshit they pull
Cause they full of shit too
When a dude's gettin bullied and shoots up your school
And they blame it on Marilyn - and the heroin
Where were the parents at?
And look at where it's at middle America
Now it's a tragedy
Now it's so sad to see
An upper class city having this happening
Then attack Eminem cause I rap this way
But I'm glad cause they feed me the fuel
That I need for the fire to burn and it's burnin' and I have returned
And I am
Whatever you say I am
If I wasn't, then why would I say I am?
In the papers, the news, everyday I am
Radio won't even play my jam
Cause I am
Whatever you say I am
If I wasn't, then why would I say I am?
In the papers, the news, everyday I am
I don't know it's just the way I am
I'm so sick and tired of being admired
That I wish that I would just die or get fired
And drop from my label and stop with the fables
I'm not gonna be able to top what my name is
And pigeon holdin' to some poppy sensations
They cop me rotation at Rock 'N' Roll stations
And I just do not have the patience
To deal with this cocky Caucasians
Who think I'm some wigga who just tries to be black
Cause I talk with an accent and grab on my balls
So they always keep asking the same fucking questions
What school did I go to?
What hood I grew up in?
The why? The who, what?
When and where and the how?
Till I'm grabbing my hair and I'm tearing it out
You've been driving me crazy, I can't take it
I'm racing, I'm pacing, I stand and I sit
And I'm thankful for every fan that I get
But I can't take a shit in the bathroom
Without someone standing by it
No I won't sign your autograph
You can call me an asshole
I'm glad cause
And I am
Whatever you say I am
If I wasn't, then why would I say I am?
In the papers, the news, everyday I am
Radio won't even play my jam
Cause I am
Whatever you say I am
If I wasn't, then why would I say I am?
In the papers, the news, everyday I am
I don't know it's just the way I am

(Talking)
May I have your attention please, may I have your attention please
will the real slim shady please stand up,
I repeat will the real slim shady please stand up.....
we're gonna have a problem here.........

(Verse 1)
Ya'll act like you never seen a white person before
jaws all on the floor
like pam and tommy just burst in the door
and started whoopin her ass worse than before
they first were divorced
throwing her over furniture (aaaaaah)
It's the return of the...
"awww..wait, no wait, you're kidding,
he didn't just say what I think he did,
did he?"
and Dr. Dre said...
nothing you idiots, Dr Dre's dead
he's locked in my bassment
feminist women love eminem
chicka chicka chicka slim shady,
"I'm sick of him, lookit him
walkin around, grabbin his you know what
flippin' to you know who"
"yeah, but he's so cute though"
yeah, I probably got a couple of screws up in my head loose
but no worse than what's goin on in your parents bedroom (eheheheh)
sometimes, I wanna get on TV and just let loose
but cant, but it's cool for Tom Green to hump a dead moose
My bum is on your lips, My bum is on your lips
and if I'm lucky, you might just give it a little kiss
and that's the message that we deliver to little kids
and expect them not to know what a woman's clitoris is
of course they're gonna know what intercourse is
by the time they hit 4th grade
they got the discovery channel, dont they?
we ain't nothing but mammals
well, some of us cannibals
who cut other people open like cantelopes
but if we can hump dead animals and antelopes
then there's no reason that a man and another man can't elope
but if you feel like I feel, I got the antedote
women wave your pantehose, sing the chorus and it goes..............

(Chorus)
I'm Slim Shady, yes, I'm the real Shady
all you other Slim Shadys are just imitating
so wont the real Slim Shady please stand up, please stand up, please stand up
cause I'm Slim Shady, yes, I'm the real Shady
all you other Slim Shadys are just imitating
so wont the real Slim Shady please stand up, please stand up, please stand up

(Verse 2)
Will Smith don't got to cuss in his raps to sell records
well I do, so fuck him and fuck you too
you think I give a damn about a grammy
half of you critics can't even stomach me, let alone stand me
"but slim, what if you win, wouldn't it be weird"
why? so you guys can just lie to get me here
so you can sit me here next to britney spears
shit,Christina Aguilera better switch me chairs
so I can sit next to Carson Daly and Fred Durst
and hear em argue over who she gave head to first
little bitch, put me on blast on MTV
"yeah, he's cute, but I think he's married to Kim, hee hee"
I should download her audio on MP3
and show the world how you gave eminem VD (aaaaaah)
I'm sick of you little girl and boy groups
all you do is annoy me
so I have been sent here to destroy you
and there's a million of us just like me
who cuss like me, who just don't give a fuck like me
who dress like me, walk, talk and act like me
and just might be the next best thing, but not quite me.................

(Chorus)
I'm Slim Shady, yes, I'm the real Shady
all you other Slim Shadys are just imitating
so wont the real Slim Shady please stand up, please stand up, please stand up
cause I'm Slim Shady, yes, I'm the real Shady
all you other Slim Shadys are just imitating
so wont the real Slim Shady please stand up, please stand up, please stand up

(Verse 3)
I'm like a head trip to listen to
cause I'm only givin you things
you joke about with your friends inside you livin' room
the only difference is I got the balls to say it
in front of ya'll and I aint gotta be false or sugar coated at all
I just get on the mic and spit it
and whether you like to admit it (riiip)
I just shit it better than 90% you rappers out can
then you wonder how can
kids eat up these albums like valiums
it's funny,cause at the rate I'm going when I'm thirty
I'll be the only person in the nursing home flirting
pinchin nurses asses when I'm jackin off with jergen's
and I'm jerkin' but this whole bag of viagra isn't working
in every single person there's a slim shady lurkin
he could be workin at burger king, spittin on your onion rings
or in the parking lot, circling, screamin I dont give a fuck
with his windows down and his system up
so will the real shady please stand up
and put 1 of those fingers on each hand up
and be proud to be outta your mind and outta control
and 1 more time, loud as you can, how does it go? .................

(Chorus)
I'm Slim Shady, yes, I'm the real Shady
all you other Slim Shadys are just imitating
so wont the real Slim Shady please stand up, please stand up, please stand up
cause I'm Slim Shady, yes, I'm the real Shady
all you other Slim Shadys are just imitating
so wont the real Slim Shady please stand up, please stand up, please stand up

cause I'm Slim Shady, yes, I'm the real Shady
all you other Slim Shadys are just imitating
so wont the real Slim Shady please stand up, please stand up, please stand up
cause I'm Slim Shady, yes, I'm the real Shady
all you other Slim Shadys are just imitating
so wont the real Slim Shady please stand up, please stand up, please stand up

(Talking)
haha guess it's a slim shady in all of us........ fuck it let's all stand up

[announcer]
Meet Eddie, twenty-three years old.
Fed up with life and the way things are going,
he decides to rob a liquor store.
("I can't take this no more, I can't take it no more homes")
But on his way in, he has a sudden change of heart.
And suddenly, his conscience comes into play...
("Shit is mine, I gotta do this.. gotta do this")


[Dr. Dre]
Alright, stop! (Huh?)
Now before you walk in the door of this liquor store
and try to get money out the drawer
You better think of the consequence (But who are you?)
I'm your motherfuckin conscience

[Eminem]

That's nonsense!
Go in and gaffle the money and run to one of your aunt's cribs
And borrow a damn dress, and one of her blonde wigs
Tell her you need a place to stay
You'll be safe for days if you shave your legs with an aged razor blade

[Dr. Dre]

Yeah but if it all goes through like it's supposed to
The whole neighborhood knows you and they'll expose you
Think about it before you walk in the door first
Look at the store clerk, she's older than George Burns

[Eminem]

Fuck that! Do that shit! Shoot that bitch!
Can you afford to blow this shit? Are you that rich?
Why you give a fuck if she dies? Are you that bitch?
Do you really think she gives a fuck if you have kids?

[Dr. Dre]
Man, don't do it, it's not worth it to risk it! (You're right!)
Not over this shit (Stop!) Drop the biscuit (I will!)
Don't even listen to Slim yo, he's bad for you
(You know what Dre? I don't like your attitude..)


{sound of static}

("It's alright c'mon, just come in here for a minute")
("Mmm, I don't know!")
("Look baby..")
("Damn!")
("Yo, it's gonna be alright, right?")
("Well OK..")

[announcer]
Meet Stan, twenty-one years old. ("Give me a kiss!")
After meeting a young girl at a rave party,
things start getting hot and heavy in an upstairs bedroom.
Once again, his conscience comes into play... ("Shit!")

[Eminem]
Now listen to me, while you're kissin her cheek
and smearin her lipstick, I slipped this in her drink
Now all you gotta do is nibble on this little bitch's earlobe..
(Yo! This girl's only fifteen years old
You shouldn't take advantage of her, that's not fair)
Yo, look at her bush.. does it got hair? (Uh huh!)
Fuck this bitch right here on the spot bare
Til she passes out and she forgot how she got there
(Man, ain't you ever seen that one movie kid?)
Pssh no, but I seen the porno with SunDoobiest!
(Shit, you wanna get hauled off to jail?)
Man fuck that, hit that shit raw dawg and bail..
{sound of static}
{pickup idling, radio playing}

[announcer]
Meet Grady, a twenty-nine year old construction worker.
After coming home from a hard day's work,
he walks in the door of his trailer park home
to find his wife in bed with another man.
("WHAT THE FUCK?!?!")
("Grady!!")

[Dr. Dre]
Alright calm down, relax, start breathin..

[Eminem]
Fuck that shit, you just caught this bitch cheatin
While you at work she's with some dude tryin to get off?!
FUCK slittin her throat, CUT THIS BITCH'S HEAD OFF!!!


[Dr. Dre]
Wait! What if there's an explanation for this shit?
(What? She tripped? Fell? Landed on his dick?!)
Alright Shady, maybe he's right Grady
But think about the baby before you get all crazy


[Eminem]
Okay! Thought about it, still wanna stab her?
Grab her by the throat, get your daughter and kidnap her?
That's what I did, be smart, don't be a retard
You gonna take advice from somebody who slapped DEE BARNES??!


[Dr. Dre]
What'chu say? (What's wrong? Didn't think I'd remember?)
I'ma kill you motherfucker!


[Eminem]
Uhhh-aahh! Temper temper!
Mr. Dre? Mr. N.W.A.?
Mr. AK comin' straight outta Compton y'all better make way?
How in the fuck you gonna tell this man not to be violent?


[Dr. Dre]
Cause he don't need to go the same route that I went
Been there, done that.. aw fuck it...
What am I sayin? Shoot em both Grady, where's your gun at?

Refrain:
Hi! My name is (what?)...my name is (who?)...
my name is... Slim Shady
Hi! My name is (huh?)...my name is (what?)...
my name is... Slim Shady (2x)

Ahem...excuse me!
Can I have the attention of the class for one second...

Hi kids! Do you like violence? (yeah yeah yeah!)
Wanna see me stick nine inch nails through each one of my eyelids? (uh huh!)
Wanna copy me and do exactly like I did? (yeah yeah!)
Try 'cid and get fucked up worse than my life is? (huh?)
My brain's dead weight, I'm tryin' to get my head straight
But I can't figure out which Spice Girl I want to impregnate (Ummmm..)
Dr. Dre said: "Slim Shady you a basehead..."
Uh-uhhh! "Then why's ya face red, man you wasted..."
Well since age 12 I've felt like I'm someone else
Cuz I hung my original self from the top bunk with a belt
Got pissed off and ripped Pamela Lee's tits off
And smacked her so hard I knocked her clothes backwards like Kris Kross
I smoke a fat pound of grass and fall on my ass
Faster than a fat bitch who sat down too fast
C'mere slut! (Shady, wait a minute, that's my girl dog!)
I don't give a fuck, God sent me to piss the world off
Refrain
My English teacher wanted to have sex with me in junior high
The only problem was, my English teacher was a guy
I smacked him in his face with an eraser
Chased him with a stapler
And stapled his nuts to a stack of paper (Owwwwwwww!)
Walked in a strip club, had my jacket zipped up
Flashed the bartender and stuck my dick in the tip cup (Wsssshhhhh...)
Extraterrestrial, running over pedestrians
In a space ship while they're screamin' at me: "LET'S JUST BE FRIENDS!"
99% of my life I was lied to
I just found out my mom does more dope than I do
I told her I'd grow up to be a famous rapper
Make a record about doin' drugs and name it after her (Oh thank you!)
You know you blew up when the women rush the stands
To try to touch your hands like some screamin' Usher fans (Aaahhhhhh!)
This guy's wife passed so asked for my autograph
So I signed it: 'Dear Dave, thanks for the support, ASSHOLE!

Refrain

Stop the tape! This kid needs to be locked away! (Get him!)
Dr. Dre don't just stand there, OPERATE!
I'm not ready to leave, it's too scary to die
I'll have to be carried inside the cemetery and buried alive
Am I comin' or goin'? I can barely decide,
I just drank a fifth of vodka...dare me to drive? (Go 'head.)
All my life I was very deprived
I ain't had a woman in years, my palms are too hairy to hide
Clothes ripped like the Incredible Hulk
I spit when I talk, I'll fuck anything that walks (C'mere.)
When I was little I used to get so hungry I would throw fits
HOW YOU GONNA BREAST FEED ME MOM? YOU AIN'T GOT NO TITS!
I lay awake and strap myself in the bed
Put a bulleproof vest on and shoot myself in the head (BANG!)
I'm steamin' mad (Arrrggghhh!)
And by the way when you see my dad? (Yeah.)
Tell him that I slit his throat in this dream I had
Refrain