3/34/92
Todae Doktor Zanzapenis took me owt drunking an bougt mee summ alkoholl. He sed it's a very expenciv...xpensev.. a very costly brand. I like it and i want mee some more. Oh no I just wet myself
Project X
Part II
6/3/91
Someone sold the secret information of Project X to the media. Hundreds of reporters came to interview us and get pictures of Project X. Even Hard Copy. But we beat them down with large pieces of Japanese bamboo and stole their cameras. With the stolen cameras Dr. Zanzabar took a picture of his ass and broadcasted his ass all over the 6 o'clock news. He sang that "I'm too sexy song" the entire time he did it. As far as any new discoveries as to what the hell Project X does, we haven't a clue. Sometime soon we are going to test to see if it can be a substitute for Viagra.
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3/34/92 Todae Doktor Zanzapenis took me owt drunking an bougt mee summ alkoholl. He sed it's a very expenciv...xpensev.. a very costly brand. I like it and i want mee some more. Oh no I just wet myself |
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????? I'm not sure what day today is. After last night and that bottle of brandy Dr. Zanzabar bought me I woke up in a pile of garbage, with a headache, next to a very ugly and rather unpleasant smelling old toothless lady named Fran. She filled me in on what we did together the night before. That made me vomit on her (which actually made her smell better). Finally, I left for home to take a shower. |
1/6/96
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On this day it has been 6 years since we found Porject X. The media sharks are getting more restless as the unveiling of it draws closer. We will show it to the world on the 10th of June in the year 1999. We are all very excited about having a date set for it so we all went down to the McDonald's Playplace and beat up little kids in that big ball thing. Dr. Zanzabar, as usual, humped the statue of Ronald McDonald. There wasn't really anyone around so we left him alone. |
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3/9/96 Today Dr. Zanzabar annouced that he and Grimace will be married on April 14th. He said Ronald introduced them at a party. We tried to tell him that he is just some guy in a costume but he kicked the crap out of us so we decided to attend the wedding. |
4/12/96
The wedding was today. I promised myself I wouldn't cry, but I did. It's just that Dr. Zanzabar and Grimace's wedding was the most beatiuful thing I've ever seen. Frankly, that scares me.
6/12/98
As the day to unveil Project X draws nearer we have been sleeping less. I do believe this is effecting some of the scientists. Dr. Bleh suggested that Project X might be used as some kind of sexual device. After testing that theory on myself for many hours of I came to the conclution that it doesn't work any better than a 2 cent whore named Bertha that was suppose to call me back but never did. After I got done bitching and moning I decideded that my results were inconclusive and I would have to test it for many hours again.
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6/13/98 During my scientific experiment with Project X Dr. Zanzabar thought it funny to kick in the door and snap a few pictures with those cameras we stole. |
1/1/99
New Year's Day. We still haven't found the purpose of Poject X, however we feel that that isn't what is important right now. There are only 2 things that are important right now.
1/2/99
Damn it
6/8/99
We are so excited, the big day is in 48 hours! Dr. Ballsniffer suggested that Project X be used to mix eggs. We all laughed at him then through him into a vat of lard for being so stupid.
6/10/99
Today is the day!! The unveiling of Project X is today!! We are so excited!! It's a marvel to look at. It will bring world peace!! It is worth millions!! We have spent 8 years and over 200 million dollars to bring Project X to the public!! We still have no idea what it does!!! I like to use exclamation points!!! I think I will go have some dinner now!!!!
