Thoroughly Modern Millie (2000 / 2001)

Synopsis thanks to Meadowlarque

The show opens with Millie's arrival in Manhattan. As an eager young recruit from rural Kansas, she dons a look of hopeful optimism, as well as long hair, a conservative brown dress and clutches two conservative brown suitcases. Armed with the knowledge and inspiration from her two bibles: Issues of the fashion magazine Vanity Fair and a New York City map, she's determined to abandon her frumpy old world and start her life as a true "Modern." (NOT FOR THE LIFE OF ME)

Thus the first thing she does is change her appearance, chopping her hair short and getting a similarly short and snazzy yellow dress. Bolstered by her new image, she and the obligatory old-school random tap dancer chorus sing their ode to the new Millie. (Thoroughly Modern Millie)

Yet somehow, by the end of the song, Millie manages to be robbed of her luggage, her purse, her hat and even one of the shoes she was wearing. Scared and frustrated, she trips the first good looking man who comes along the sidewalk. She asks him for help, which he does by telling her to return to the country. When she persists he advises her to stay at the Hotel Priscilla, a low-budget boarding house for young women. Millie almost regrets tearing up her return bus ticket, but she resolves to stay and prove to the arrogant stranger that she can make it in the city and realize her dream: to marry rich. (NOT FOR THE LIFE OF ME -REPRISE)

This song takes Millie and the audience into the Hotel Priscilla, which is occupied primarily by young untalented actresses. (Yet to curb their natural impulses, there is a very visible sign hanging on wall prohibiting any tap dancing in the lobby area. One can however, tap on the elevator. In fact it's required in order for the machine to operate.) The establishment is run by the villainous Mrs. Meers, who feigns sympathetic interest in those young girls without a family. "So sad to be all alone in the world." Yet unbeknownst to the girls, she is running a "white slavery" operation: selling off the pretty orphaned actresses to pimps overseas. Thus Mrs. Meers is all too excited when a pretty, dainty aspiring actress and orphan, Miss Dorothy, arrives, asking for a room. But Millie is also excited, as the two girls connect over their desire to see (HOW THE OTHER HALF LIVES).

The next scene reveals Mrs.Meers true interest and identity, as she was-and still is once a great actress, but never had the luck to make it on the stage. She is aided in her diabolic efforts by two young men-Chinese immigrants who are working for Mrs. Meers in order to earn their mother's transport from China. They argue (in Chinese, with subtitles) over the ethical dilemmas presented by working with Mrs. Meers, but they both agree that they need it for their Mama, who wants to emigrate as badly as they did. (NOT FOR THE LIFE OF ME-REPRISE #2)

Meanwhile, Millie is continuing her husband/job search. She discovers that the wealthy banker Trevor Grayden II is single, and in need of a good stenographer. Although she has never had a job before, and cannot tell the difference between golf and baseball trophies, she impresses him during his shorthand and typing tests and is hired by him and the Sincere Bank and Trust Co. Trevor's wealth and good looks also impress Millie as she pictures herself as the next Mrs. Grayden. (THE SPEED TEST)

Back at the hotel, Mrs. Meers is attempting to deliver a poisoned apple to Miss Dorothy in her room, which she will use to tranquilize the girl long enough to get her on the boat to Southeast Asia. Yet before she can complete this task, she is stopped both by Millie's excitement as she returns home from her successful interview and by Ching Ho's intervention, as he has fallen in love with Dorothy. Delayed but not deterred, Mrs. Meers resolves to continue her plot another day, and praises herself as an actress. (THEY DON'T KNOW).

Millie invites her friends out on the town to celebrate her new job, yet they are unable to find the elusive bars and dance clubs, outlawed in the age of Prohibition. Luckily, Millie happens upon the same arrogant young man, Jimmy Smith, who assisted her on her first day in the city. After much whiny persuasion by the girls, he gets them to and inside a Speak-Easy. They dance, and Millie gets her first taste of alcohol, as a flask is passed along the line of bar guests. Unfortunately, Millie passes it to a policeman, and everyone is arrested, forced to spend the night in jail. However, this gives Millie and Jimmy the opportunity to exchange more witty banter and get to know each other. (THE NUTTYCRACKER SUITE)

That night, Jimmy ponders his feelings for Millie, and then tries to deny them by celebrating his carefree bachelor life. Being very adept with paper clips, Jimmy easily escapes out of his cell and is nearing the door when he realizes that he's already trapped, as his feelings for Millie are genuine. Thus he returns to his cell and re-locks the door. (WHAT DO I NEED WITH LOVE).

The next morning the hungover inmates are released, and Jimmy asks Millie out. She feigns reluctance and agrees, but she insures that her best friend Dorothy can accompany them. One of the *date* locations is an apartment party for the great Muzzy Van Hausmere, who happens to be acquainted with Jimmy. (His father was her gardener). Yet she is very interested in getting to now Millie and they hit it off well. Even when the well-intentioned Millie gives the famous writer guest Dorothy Parker a severe condiment stain. Muzzy sings (ONLY IN NEW YORK) seemingly in order to establish her role as a famous singer, and to re-enforce the message of the story, about dreams, ambition and New York City).

Fighting turns to flirting as Jimmy and Millie stand on the balcony of Muzzy's penthouse apartment. He kisses her suddenly, silencing one of her quips, then runs away out of embarrassment. Millie remains, bewildered, as she struggles between her hidden love for Jimmy and her ambition to become a wealthy wife. (JIMMY) As she dreamily returns home she is horrified to find her hero leaving Dorothy's room. Neither of the two see Millie, and continue their conversation; something like:

Dorothy: But she's my best friend!
Jimmy: No, Dorothy-this is just between us.
Dorothy:That's MISS Dorothy.
Jimmy: Not to me. (Gives her a kiss on the cheek. The music swells and the first act is over.)

The second act begins with Millie at work at Sincere Trust -and she's in trouble. Her bitterness and resentment about her pseudo-boyfriend and her best friend interfere with her concentration, and to top that off Jimmy won't stop calling her on company time. Taking the advice of her supervisor, Millie, and the rest of the stenog's at the firm resolve to stop relying on dated notions of romance and tap into modernity. (FORGET ABOUT THE BOY)

Millie turns her attentions back to plan B- for Boss. She attempts and fails miserably at seducing the confused Mr. Grayden, who only shows his affection by bestowing upon her the nickname of "John"- because she's such a hard worker. When he leaves, Millie is visited by Jimmy, who is quickly booted out the door, and Dorothy, who seeks comfort from Millie after one of the men at an audition tried to seduce her. Millie believes that she is talking about Jimmy, and the two friends reconcile. They even set up a shopping date so Millie can transform Dorothy into a "modern"- bobbed haircut and all. . Millie then excuses herself to go make a phone call for her boss. Suddenly the bossman himself comes in the room, sees Dorothy and is instantly smitten- breaking into an aria. (AH SWEET MYSTERY OF LIFE/I'M FALLING IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE) The two sing and waltz around the room, while Millie sits on the phone, frustrated. She remains so when she discovers her future hubby also has a crush on her best friend, and she's supposed to call for arrangements for the couple's expensive dinner date. Just when things couldn't get any worse Jimmy appears shuffling along the ledge outside of her window.

As they talk he professes his innocence when she confronts him about his night with Dorothy. Yet he does confess that Millie has made him a changed man, and that he truly loves her. (I TURNED A CORNER/I'M FALLING IN LOVE) She reciprocates, and the two plan one big celebration dinner that will exhaust their finances but give them an experience that they won't ever forget).

Meanwhile, Mrs. Meers is still plotting to capture Dorothy, and this time she enlists the aid of the two immigrant brothers to puff chloroform into Dorothy's room. Ching Ho is still uncooperative, due to his love for Dorothy, but he reluctantly agrees when Mrs. Meers reminds the two of seeing their mother again. (MUGIN)

At a fancy restaurant uptown, Muzzy is entertaining the crowd, (LONG AS I'M HERE WITH YOU) and Jimmy and Millie are surrounded by piles of expensive plates of food-in the kitchen as they wash the dishes. Unfortunately both of them fell a bit short on cash, and the strain of the embarrassment causes another feud. Millie decides she can't live Jimmy's type of life, and leaves the kitchen, resolving again to marry a wealthier man. On the way out she encounters Muzzy, who detects a problem and pulls her aside. Muzzy tells Millie a sweet story, which I can't really remember right now at 2 am, about how she met her husband, essentially how she got a pleasant surprise when she married him, something about a green glass ring that he gave her that she adored, that turned out to be a genuine emerald. She urges Millie to follow her heart, as she did, and Millie fully accepts her love for Jimmy, for richer or poorer. (GIMMIE GIMMIE)

She reunites with Jimmy, and as they are leaving the restaurant they notice a drunk and haggard Mr. Grayden sitting alone at a table. He moans about his broken heart, since Dorothy never showed up for the date. The three of the characters put their heads together and connect the problem to Mrs.Meers......