You go aboard a leaky boat,
And sail for San Francisco;
You've got to pump to keep her afloat,
You have that, by jingo!
The engine soon begins to squeak,
But nary a thing to oil her;
Impossible to stop the leak -
Rip goes the boiler!The captain on the promenade,
Looking very savage;
Steward and the cabin maid
Fighting 'bout a cabbage;
All about the cabin floor,
Passengers lie seasick;
Steamer's bound to go ashore --
Rip goes the physic!Porkk and beans they can't afford
To second cabin passengers;
The cook has tumbled overboard
With forty pounds of "sassengers";
The engineer, a little tight,
Bragging on the Main Line,
Finally gets into a fight --
Rip goes the engine!Now cholera begins to rage,
A few have got the scurvy!
Chickens dying in their cage,
Steerage topsy-turvy.
When you get to Panama,
Greasers want a back-load;
Officers begin to chaw,
Rip goes the railroad!When home, you'll tell an awful tale,
And always will be thinking
How long you had to pump and bail
To keep the tub from sinking.
Of course you'll take a glass of gin,
'Twill make you feel so funny!
Some city sharp will rope you in,
Rip goes your money!