Driving Test Answers
The following are a sampling of
REAL answers received on exams
given by the California Department of
Transportation's driving
school (read Saturday Traffic School for moving
violation offenders.)
Q: Do you yield when a blind pedestrian is crossing
the road?
A: What for? He can't see my license plate.
Q: Who has the
right of way when four cars approach a four-way
stop at the same time?
A:
The pick up truck with the gun rack and the bumper sticker
saying,"Guns
don't kill people, I do."
Q: When driving through fog, what should
you use?
A: Your car.
Q: How can you reduce the possibility of having
an accident?
A: Be too shit-faced to find your keys.
Q: What problems
would you face if you were arrested for drunk
driving?
A: I'd probably
lose my buzz a lot faster.
Q: What changes would occur in your lifestyle
if you could no
longer drive lawfully?
A: I would be forced to drive
unlawfully.
Q: What are some points to remember when passing or being
passed?
A: Make eye contact and wave "hello" if he/she is
cute.
Q: What is the difference between a flashing red traffic light
and
a flashing yellow traffic light?
A: The colour.
Q: How do you
deal with heavy traffic?
A: Heavy psychedelics.
Q: What can you do to
help ease a heavy traffic problem?
A: Carry loaded weapons.
Q: Why
would it be difficult to be a police officer?
A: It would be tough to be a
Dickhead all day long.
Jizzy
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"Behind
Death, the patricians small pet swamp dragon
held on grimly to the bony hips
and thought: 'gaurds or
no gaurds, the next time we pass a window I'm going
to
run like buggery'."