There were these friends who played golf together every Saturday. One
Saturday they were getting ready to tee off when a guy, by himself, asked if he
could join them. The friends looked at each other and then looked at the guy
and said, "Sure."

So they teed off. About two holes into the game, the friends got curious about
what the guy did for a living. So they asked him. The stranger told them he was
a hitman. The friends all laughed.

The guy said, "No really, I'm a hitman. My gun is in my golf bag. I carry it
everywhere. You can take a look at it if you'd like."

So one of the friends decided to check it out. He opened the bag and, sure
enough, there was a rifle with a huge scope attached it. He got all excited and
said, "WOW! I bet I can see my house through here! May I look?" The hit man
replied, "Sure."

So the guy looked for a second and said, "YEAH! I can see my house! I can
even see through the windows into my bedroom. There's my wife, naked. Isn't
she beautiful? WAIT! There's my next-door neighbor! And he's naked too!"

 This really upset the guy, so he asked the hitman how much it would be for a
hit. The hitman replied, "I get $1000 every time I pull the trigger."

The guy responded, "One thousand dollars? Well, okay. I want two hits. I want
you to shoot my wife right in the mouth. She's always nagging at me and I can't
stand it. Second, I want you to shoot my neighbor in the penis, just for screwing
around with my wife."

The hit man agreed. He geared up and looked through the scope. He was
looking for about five minutes until finally the man started to get really impatient
and asked, "What are you waiting for?"
The hitman replied, "Just hold on ... I'm a about to save you a thousand bucks!"