The Official Men's Room Etiquette Aptitude
Exam
==================================================
The
following is the urinal configuration in a sample men's room.
An X above the
number will indicate "in use."
(Sample):
| | | x | | | x
| (Indicates that urinals 3 and 6
| 1 | 2 | 3
| 4 | 5 | 6 | are occupied.)
-------------------------
You are to identify correctly, based on urinal
etiquette, at
which stall you are to correctly stand. Good
luck!
--------------------
Easy
Section
--------------------
1.)
| | x
| | x | | | (Urinals
2 and 4 occupied.)
| 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 |
-------------------------
Your choice: ___
-----------------------------------------------------------------
Correct
answer: 6 It's the ONLY one to go to
and every
guy
instinctively knows
this.
===============================================
2.)
|
x | | | | |
| (Urinal 1 occupied.)
| 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6
|
-------------------------
Your choice: ___
-----------------------------------------------------------------
Correct
answer: 6 Stall 5 is acceptable, but
you run
a
greater risk of being next to
someone
who arrives later.
===============================================
-------------------------
Kind of tricky Section:
-------------------------
3.)
| |
| | | | |
(empty)
| 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 |
--------------------------
Your choice: __
-----------------------------------------------------------------
Correct
answer
r: 1 or 6 You
are tacitly
saying,
"I don't want anyone next to
me."
===============================================
4.)
| | x | | x | | x
| (2, 4 and 6 occupied)
| 1
| 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 |
-------------------------
Your
choice: ___
-----------------------------------------------------------------
Correct
answer: 1 You're stuck being
next to
at
least ONE guy, so you minimise
the
impact and get a wall on your
left.
NEVER go between TWO guys if
you
can help it. Exceptions to
this
are stadium restrooms where
the
herd thunders in.
===============================================
-----------------------------------------------
Subtle, tricky, but
important to know Section
-----------------------------------------------
5.)
| | x
| | | x | x
| (2, 5 and 6
occupied)
| 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 |
-------------------------
Your choice: __
-----------------------------------------------------------------
Correct
answer: 4 Believe it or not, 1
and 3
"couples"
you with the guy in stall 2. And
we
wouldn't want THAT now, would
we?
This differs from question 4 in such
a
subtle way that the nuances cannot
be
explained. Suffice to say, only we
men
would understand!
===============================================
-----------------------------
VERY tricky indeed Section
-----------------------------
6.)
| x | x | |
| x | x | (1, 2, 5 and 6
occupied)
| 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 |
-------------------------
Your choice: ___
-----------------------------------------------------------------
Correct
answer: NONE! You go to the mirror and pretend
to
comb your hair or straighten a
tie
until the urinals "open up" a bit
more.
If you have to go REAL, REAL BAD,
for
goodness sake! ... use a doored
stall.
===============================================
Other parts of the
Unwritten Code of the Urinals:
-- NO Talking, unless it's a good
friend... but even then, keep
it terse and
unemotional. This ain't no clubhouse.
-- I don't think I need to
tell you, absolutely NO touching of
anyone other
than yourself. A touch of another's elbow is
of
the highest offence.
-- NO
Singing. Period.
-- Glances are for purposes of acknowledgement
only..."Yeah, I see
you there. I will not
look again".
--------------------------------------------------------------------------
"Behind
Death, the patricians small pet swamp dragon
held on grimly to the bony hips
and thought: 'gaurds or
no gaurds, the next time we pass a window I'm going
to
run like buggery'."