A redneck was sitting in a bar and turning
round to his newly found Drinking partner he says
"Hell, I've been married 3 times and I'll be danged If I marry again."
 
His friend then says "Why's That"
 
"Well, ma first two wives died of eating poisoned mushrooms and ma
third wife died of a fractured skull"
 
"Thats Terrible!" says his friend "How did it happen?"
 
"Well...she wouldn't eat the dang mushrooms!"
 
 
JizzY
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"Behind Death, the patricians small pet swamp dragon
held on grimly to the bony hips and thought: 'guards or
no guards, the next time we pass a window I'm going to
run like buggery'."