An 80-year old man was having his annual check-up and the doctor
asked him how he was feeling.

"I've never been better!" he boasted.  "I've got an eighteen
year old bride who's pregnant and having my child!  What do
you think about that?"

The doctor considered this for a moment, then said, "Let me
tell you a story.  I knew a guy who was an avid hunter.  He
never missed a season.  But one day, he went out in a bit of
a hurry, and he accidentally grabbed his umbrella instead of
his gun."  The doctor continued, "So he was in the woods, and
suddenly a grizzly bear appeared in front of him!  He raised
up his umbrella, pointed it at the bear and squeezed the handle.
And do you know what happened?" the doctor queried.

Dumbfounded, the old man replied, "No."

The doctor continued, "The bear dropped dead in front of him!"

"That's impossible!" exclaimed the old man.  "Someone else
must have shot that bear."

"That's kind of what I'm getting at," replied the doctor.
 
 
JizzY
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"Behind Death, the patricians small pet swamp dragon
held on grimly to the bony hips and thought: 'gaurds or
no gaurds, the next time we pass a window I'm going to
run like buggery'."