| Jismodeus - A Brief History |
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From the ashes of a best-forgotten epoch, in a vacuum devoid of novelty, there appeared a squishy snail-like being. Spawned from a volatile mixture of Robitussin and ScotchGard, the squishy being fashioned a fortress from the elements. From the earth, it brought forth Grape Nuts cereal. From the sky, it brought forth marshmallow birds. From the oceans, it brought forth refreshing beverages of many flavors.
When the snail emerged from the fortress one day, sipping tea and eating graham crackers, the rain fell and a transformation took place. The abrasive forces of the rain left behind small pieces which became spermatazoan sidekicks. The spermatazoa emitted etherial songs of "joy's delight" and a soothing radiation which was reminiscent of an obscure JJ Fad LP at half-speed. Together, the host of beings embarked upon a quest for sustenance and higher technology. Many ages passed...
One day, in Rock Canyon, the mad mortal Brotherhood gathered at the quintennial with their contemporaries. In a cavity of rock, music was made. The pact was renewed. Many refreshing beverages were quaffed amongst the saplings there. The Brotherhood remained strong. The music was carried forth by three.
Later, in a strange dream, there appeared the name Jismodeus. An offering was made, and the name was marked for rememberance. A snail appeared upon the window as a sign. The image was transferred, reproduced and reviewed. Trumpets sounded, tubas blasted, and piccolos twittled for many days and nights. Party favors were distributed and technology was acquired. A snail was crushed and the technology was sanctified.
After a time, the three returned to a cavity to make music. Once again, refreshing beverages were sipped with vigor. A fourth mortal madman was chosen to bridge the chasm between the earth (Grape Nuts) and the higher technology. The music was brought forth, blood was shed, and the meaning of fun became apparent.
The musicians continue to wreak sonic bewilderment to this day. And sometimes, when their voices fill the midnight air and the fog machine obscures the stage, Jismodeus and his sidekicks can be seen prancing in the flashing lights.