Brian Littrell: It was something that we wanted to give to the
fans or give to the audience, so to say. Something that came
directly from us. Life experiences. And it was a tough decision
for me to make, because I was thinking, "Well, what has been
trying in my life that sticks out?" Obviously, it was my heart
surgery.
I had long talks with the director, because I didn't want it to be
too vivid. I didn't want it to be too graphic because it's hard
enough for my family to watch it, let alone me. But I wanted to
share that, because it was a growing experience for all of us. For each and every one of us.
MTV: Do you remember -- because I talked to you a few
months after the surgery, and you were showing us the scars
and everything, and you guys were back at Radio City, hitting
the road and it seemed all to be all good. But I know since then,
you've talked about the fact that you postponed surgery the first
time to stay out there on the road, and then you did go back on
tour relatively soon after the surgery.
Brian: It really wasn't my choice.
MTV: I was going to say. I mean, but it should have been,
shouldn't it have?
Brian: It should have been nothing but my choice, but it was
scheduled, and you deal with... I mean, a lot of stuff went down
with that. A lot of trying times happened with that with our
previous management. The schedule was just laid out in front of
us, and that was what got so frustrating, because it was just
chop, chop, chop. Had to be everywhere at a specific time, and
nothing could stand in the way. After experiencing a delay in my
surgery twice, then finally having it, and then eight weeks to the
day of my surgery, I was back up on stage in Charlotte, North
Carolina.
MTV: Oxygen tank standing by.
Brian: Yeah. I mean, for the first two weeks of the tour I had
paramedics and people, because I didn't know.
MTV: It had to have been pretty scary.
Brian: It was very scary. I mean, that put a lot of weight upon
our shoulders with coming to terms with making a decision
about what was most important. Was our health important? I
kinda got picked as the example. I guess to say, that out of all
five of us, it happened to be me, it turned out. Everything
happens for a reason, and it turned out good. Thank God, you
know that everything went well, that we didn't have to take too
much time.
I know there's a lot of loving and caring fans out there, and I got
letters beyond belief. You know, of gratitude and thankfulness.
But I think it shows them a different phase of what our work is
like, 'cause they realize that a little bit through me, I think, of
how hard work is. You know a lot of people think the
entertainment business is such an enjoyable thing and
glamorous. It has its perks, but, you know, there's real life
behind all that.
MTV: I would imagine that Kevin, having lost his dad and
knowing that his cousin had a condition growing up as a kid... I
would imagine he was going through it pretty hard when you
were having your surgery.
Brian: Yeah. He flew to Minneapolis to see me. Rochester,
rather. But he came up and visited me for a couple of days and
it kind of hit home when he saw me out walking with my, you
know, walker and things. They had me up on my feet two days
after my surgery, and I was walking laps around the hallway,
and that was tough, because I've always been so physically
active, and knowing that something would kind of knock me on
my butt like it did... it was tough, but that's kind of when it hit
home. I remember looking in the waiting room and seeing him in
there -- and he kind of turned a little white -- thinking, "Wow."
You know, "It's really happening." But we were going so fast, it
was hard to kind of slow down and wake up to what was going on.
Brian: Not really. It was kind of disbelief, because I felt so
healthy going into the surgery. That was kind of the hardest
thing to believe was why I had to do this in order to live the rest
of my life. And when you weigh those things, I thought, Well,
I've got a wife and some kids ahead of me that I would like to
see, God willing, besides all of this going on. I'm making a living
for myself, but I'm benefiting my family down the future, down
the road. But when you weigh those things I thought, Well, no
career, no status, or no star status... is worth losing all that.
MTV: Your faith is as strong as ever.
Brian: I think it's stronger now, just because there's more. I've
been asked several times when I've been home, you know,
people say, "How do you stay accountable to God?" You know,
because of all that is introduced with this business.
MTV: I was going to say. Does it challenge you a lot?
Brian: The way I handle situations on the road is like: If you
don't put yourself in that situation; if you can think ahead and
plan to be elsewhere when you know that something else is
going on over here; if you choose the right path rather than the
left path, and you don't even set yourself up with putting
something that might be strange, that you could see or take
part in... you've gotta pre-think those things. I'd rather stay in
my hotel room than go out to a bar and be caught with whatever
and have somebody say, "Well, you're such a big Christian,"
and then you had a beer. I'm not gonna tell that I'm not gonna
have a beer, because I do, but at the same time, it's like, you
put yourself in that company, because you're not just going out
to be by yourself. You're going out to be involved with everything
that's going in there, and God forbid something happens. It's not
worth it.
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Brian Thomas Littrell ~ The Golden Voiced Backstreet Boy
- Established Jan 1999 -