IF ONLY WOMEN WERE SOFTWARE

Dear Technical Support:

 Last year I upgraded from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0 and noticed that the new program began unexpected child processing that took up a lot of space and valuable resources. No mention of this phenomenon was included in the product brochure. In addition, Wife 1.0 installs itself into all other
 programs and launches during system initialization, where it monitors all other system activity. This is very annoying.
 Applications such as Poker night 10.3, Drunken Boys Night 2.5 and Saturday Football 5.0 no longer run, crashing the system whenever selected. I cannot seem to keep Wife 1.0 in the background while attempting to run some of my other favorite applications. I am thinking about going back to Girlfriend 7.0 or trying Girlfriend 8.0, but the uninstall does not work on this program.
 Can you help me, please!!!

 Thanks, Joe


 Dear Joe:

This is a very common problem men complain about but is mostly due to a primary misconception.
 Many people upgrade from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0 with the idea that Wife 1.0 is merely a UTILITIES & ENTERTAINMENT program.  It is not.  Wife 1.0 is an OPERATING SYSTEM and designed by its creator to run every aspect of your system!

 If you are thinking about purging Wife 1.0 and reverting to Girlfriend 7.0, be advised that it is nearly impossible to uninstall, delete or purge the Wife 1.0 program files from the system once installed. Hidden operating files cause Girlfriend 7.0 to emulate Wife 1.0, so nothing is gained. However, some people have had success installing Divorce Lawyer 2.2, but  this program is very expensive and will drain most (if not all) of your  system resources. You'll need to evaluate the trade-off of having fewer resources compared to benefits of being able to run your other favorite
programs (i.e., Pokernight 10.3, Drunken Boys Night 2.5 and Saturday Football 5.0).

Some have tried to install Girlfriend 8.0 or Wife 2.0 but end up with more  problems than the original system. Look in your manual under Error  Messages: "Warnings-Alimony/Child Support" and "Warning-New Psycho Bitch  from Hell" before you attempt to do this.

 I recommend you keep Wife 1.0 and just deal with the situation.  Having  installed Wife 1.0 myself, I might also suggest you read the entire section  regarding General Partnership Faults (GPFs).  You must assume all  responsibility for faults and problems that might occur, regardless of  their cause. Even though you are not at fault, the best course of action will be to enter the command C:\APOLOGIZE.

 In any case avoid excessive use of the Esc key because ultimately you will  have to give the APOLOGIZE command before the operating system will return  to normal. Remember, the system will run smoothly as long as you take the blame for all the GPFs.

 Wife 1.0 is a great program, but VERY high maintenance. Consider buying additional software to improve the performance of Wife1.0.
I recommend Flowers 2.1 and Chocolates 5.0.

 Do not, under any circumstances, install Secretary With Short Skirt 3.3.
 This is not a supported application for Wife 1.0 and is likely to cause  irreversible damage to the operating system.

 Best of luck,
 Tech Support
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