CORPORATE LESSONS
Lesson Number One:
A crow was sitting on a tree, doing
nothing all day.
A small rabbit saw the crow, and asked him, "Can I also sit like
you and do nothing all day long?"
The crow answered: "Sure, why not."
>So, the rabbit sat on the ground below the crow, and rested. All of
a
sudden, a fox appeared, jumped on the rabbit and ate it.
Moral of the Story:
To be sitting and doing nothing,
you must be sitting very, very high up.
Lesson Number Two
A turkey was chatting with a bull.
"I would love to be able to get to the
top of that tree," sighed the turkey, "but I haven't got the
energy."
Well, why don't you nibble on some of my droppings?" replied the
bull.
>"They're packed with nutrients."
The turkey pecked at a lump of dung and found that it actually gave him
enough strength to reach the first branch of the tree. The next day,
after
eating some more dung, he reached the second branch.
Finally after a fortnight, there he was, proudly perched at the top of
the
tree. Soon he was promptly spotted by a farmer, who shot the turkey out
of the tree.
Moral of the Story:
Bullshit might get you to
the top, but it won't keep you there.
Lesson Number Three
When the body was first made, all
the parts wanted to be Boss.
The brain said, "I should be Boss because I control the whole
body's
responses and functions."
The feet said, "We should be Boss as we carry the brain about and
get him to where he wants to go."
The hands said, "We should be the Boss because we do all the work
and
earn all the money."
And so it went on and on with the heart, the lungs and the
eyes until finally the asshole spoke up.
All the parts laughed at the idea of the asshole being the
Boss. So the asshole went on strike, blocked itself up and refused to
work. Within a >short time the eyes became crossed, the hands
clenched, the feet twitched, the heart and lungs began to panic and the
brain fevered.
Eventually they all decided that the asshole should be the Boss, so the
motion was passed.
All the other parts did all the work while the Boss just sat and passed
out
shit!
Moral of the Story:
You don't need brains to
be a Boss - any asshole will do.
Lesson Number Four:
A little bird was flying south for
the winter. It was so cold, the bird froze and fell to the ground in a
large field.
While it was lying there, a cow came by and dropped
some dung on it.
As the frozen bird lay there in the pile of cow dung, it began to
realize how warm it was.
The dung was actually thawing him out! He lay there all warm and happy,
and soon began to sing for joy.
A passing cat heard the bird singing
and came to investigate.
Following the sound, the cat discovered the bird under the pile of cow
dung, and promptly dug
him out and ate him!
.The morals of this story are:
1) Not everyone who drops
shit on you is your enemy.
2) Not everyone who gets you out of shit is your friend.
3) When you're in deep shit, keep your mouth shut.
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A recent question asked to
management trainees:
What sports do you participate
in after business hours?
Lower Level Management Responded
-------------Bowling
Middle Level Management
Responded-------------Tennis
Upper Level Management
Responded--------------Golf
Point proved that the higher
up the ladder you go the smaller your balls get!
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