The Candywrapper

It was another Payday and I was tired of Mr.
Goodbar. I saw Miss Hershey standing behind the
Powerhouse on the corner of Clark and Fifth Avenue
when I whipped out my Whopper and whispered, "hey
Sweetheart, how'd you like to Krunch on my big
hunk for a Million Dollar Bar?"
Well, she immediately went down on my Tootsie
Roll, and it was like Pure Almond Joy! I couldn't
help but grab her delicious Mounds because it was
easy to see that this little Twix had the Red
Hots. It was all I could do to hold the Snicker
and Crackle as my Butterfinger went up her
tight little Kit Kat and she started to scream
"Oh Henry, Oh Henry!"
Soon she was fondling my Peter Pan and ZagNut and
I knew it wouldn't be long before I blew my Milk
Duds clear to Mars that gave her a taste of the
old Milky Way. She asked me if I was into M&M,
but I said, "hey Chicklet, no kinky stuff."
I said, "Look you little Reese's Pieces, don't be
a Zero, be a Lifesaver. Why don't you take my
Whatchamacallit and slip it up your Bit 'O'
Honey?" (What a piece of Juicy Fruit she was,
too!) She screamed, "Oh Crackerjack, better than
the Three Musketeers!"
as I rammed my Ding Dong up her Rocky Road and
into her Peanut Butter Cup. Well, I was giving it
to her Good 'N' Plenty, when all the sudden...my
Starburst! Yeah, as luck would have it,
she started to grow Chunky and complained of a
Wrigley in her stomach. Sure enough, nine months
later, out popped...........Baby Ruth!


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