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Would you like to submit your jokes to this page? -->CLICK HERE!<--
Why did the blonde look in the mirror with her eyes closed?
Cause she wanted to see herself sleeping
Submitted by: Cameron L. Duff
What do peroxide blondes and 747's have in common?
They both have a black box.
Two blondes came upon some tracks in the forrest. One said they were deer
tracks. The other blonde argued, saying that they were bear tracks. They
were both still standing there arguing when the train hit them.
Why do blondes put fur on the hems of their dresses?
To keep their ears warm. (Think about it)
Why do they wear fur underware?
To keep their ankles warm.
What's the difference between a blonde and an airplane?
Some people have never been on an airplane.
What's the difference between a blonde and a toilet?
A toilet doesn't follow you around after you use it.
What's the blonde mating call?
I'm soooooo drunk!
Seen on license plate frame: All dumbs are not blonde!
Why do blondes wear shoulder pads?
(shrug shoulders, flop head back and forth,
talk in ditzy voice): I don't know.
How do you get a blonde to marry you?
Tell her she's pregnant.
What will she ask you?
"Is it mine?"
How do you kill a blonde?
1. Put spikes on her shoulder pads & ask her a question..
2. Tell her that the spot on the bottom of the pool is
"scratch-n-sniff".
What's it called when a blonde blows in another one's ear?
Data transfer.
How do you make a blonde's eyes sparkle?
Shine a flashlight in her ear.
If a blonde says she's become enlightened, start looking for the Q-beam.
How do you tell if a blonde has been using your word processor?
By the liquid paper streaks on your CRT.
What do you call a whole bunch of blondes standing in a row?
A wind tunnel.
What do you call a brunette between two blondes?
An interpreter.
What do you call a blonde between two brunettes?
A mental block.
Why did the blonde get laid off from the M&M factory?
She kept on throwing out the "w"s.
How do you tell if a blonde has been making chocolate chip cookies?
By all the M&M shells on the floor.
Why do blondes hate M&Ms?
They're too hard to peel.
A blonde had just finished doing a jigsaw puzzle and called up her
friend and said, "Hey, I just finished that jigsaw puzzle. Took me
nine months."
"Nine MONTHS?"
"Yeah. Isn't that great? It said on the box, '3 to 5 years', so
I figured I did pretty well."
Q: How do blonde braincells die ?
A: Alone.
Q: How do you brainwash a blonde?
A: Give her a douche and shake her upside down.
Q: How do you change a blonde's mind?
A1: Blow in her ear.
A2: Buy her another beer.
Q: How do you measure a blonde's intelligence?
A: Stick a tire pressure gauge in her ear!
Q: HOW DO YOU KEEP A BLONDE BUSY ALL DAY?
A: Put her in a round room and tell her to sit in the corner.
Q: How do you get a blonde to marry you?
A: Tell her she's pregnant.
Q: What will she ask you?
A: "Is it mine?"
A dumb Blonde died and went to Heaven. When she got to the Pearly Gates, she met Saint Peter who said, "Before you get to come into Heaven, you have to pass a test."
"Oh, No!" she said but Saint Peter said not to worry he'd make it easy. "Who was God's son?" said Saint Peter.
The dumb Blonde thought for a few minutes and said "Andy!"
"That's interesting... What made you say that?" said Saint Peter
Then She started to sing "Andy walks with me! Andy talks with me! Andy tells me..."
Q: WHAT DID THE BLOND SAY WHEN SHE WOKE UP UNDER THE COW?
A: What are you guys still doing here?Q: WHAT ARE THE WORST SIX YEARS IN A BLONDE'S LIFE?
A: Third Grade.Q: WHAT DID THE BLONDE SAY ABOUT BLONDE JOKES?
A: She said they were pretty good, but they might offend some Puerto Ricans.Q: WHAT DID THE BLONDE THINK OF THE NEW COMPUTER?
A: She didn't like it because she couldn't get MTV.Q: What do UFO's and smart blondes have in common?
A: You keep hearing about them, but never see any.Q: What does a blond say during a porno movie?
A: There I am!!
A blonde goes into the drug store to buy some condoms (so she can practice safe sex). She walks up to the pharmicist and asks "How much for a box of condoms?"
"They're $1 for a box of 3," he replied, "Plus 6 cents for the tax."
"Oh," said the blonde, "I wondered how they kept them on."
Q: How do you confuse a blonde?
A: You don't. They're born that way.Q: Why do blondes hate M&Ms?
A: They're too hard to peel.Q: How do you know when a blonde has been making chocolate chip cookies?
A: You find M&M shells all over the kitchen floor.Q: What job function does a blonde have in an M&M factory?
A: Proofreading.Q: Why don't blondes like making KOOL-AID?
A: Because they can't fit 8 cups of water in the little packet.Q: How does the blonde car pool work?
A: They all meet at work at 7:45.Q: What happens when a blonde gets Alzheimers disease?
A: Her IQ goes up!Q: Why was the blonde disappointed with her trip to England?
A: She found out Big Ben is only a clock.Q: Why can't blondes make ice cubes?
A: They always forget the recipe.Q: DID YOU HEAR ABOUT THE BLONDE THAT ATE MOUNTAIN OYSTERS?
A: She was dragged 200 yards.Q: How many blondes does it take to play Hide and Seek?
A: One.Q: Why couldn't the blonde write the number ELEVEN ?
A: She didn't know what ONE came first...Q: What do you call a blonde with 90% of her intelligence gone?
A: Divorced.Q: How can you tell when a blonde is dating a cowboy?
A: By the buckle print on her forehead.Q: How can you tell who is a blonde's boyfriend?
A: He's the one with the belt buckle the matches the impression in her forehead!Q: How can you tell if a blonde writes mysteries?
A: She has a checkbook.Q: What's the difference between a prostitute, a nymphomaniac, and a blonde?
A: The prostitute says "Aren't you done yet?"
The nympho says "Are you done already?"
The blonde says "Beige...I think I'll paint the ceiling beige."
Q: Why does a blonde only change her baby's diapers every month?
A: Because it says right on it "good for up to 20 pounds."Q: Why do blondes have see-through lunch box lids?
A1: So they know if it is morning or afternoon.
A2: So that when they're on the train they can tell if they're going to work or coming home.Q: Why don't blondes double recipes?
A: The oven doesn't go to 700 degrees.Q: Why don't blondes make good pharmacists?
A: They can't get the bottle into the typewriter.Q: Why don't blondes call 911 in an emergency?
A1: They can't remember the number.
A2: She can't find the number 11 on the telephone buttons.Q: What's the first thing a blonde does in the morning?
A1: Introduces themself.
A2: Walks home.Q: What do you call a skeleton in the closet with blonde hair?
A: Last years hide and go seek winner.Q: What do you call a basement full of blondes?
A: A whine cellar.Q: Why did the blonde have tire tread marks on her back?
A: From crawling across the street when the sign said "DON'T WALK".Q: Why did the blonde keep a coat hanger in her back seat?
A: In case she locks the keys in her car.Q: Did you hear about the blonde coyote?
A: Got stuck in a trap, chewed off three legs and was still stuck.Q: What's a blonde's favorite nursery rhyme?
A: Humpme Dumpme.Q: What did the blonde customer say to the buxom waitress (reading her nametag)
A: "'Debbie'...that's cute. What did you name the other one ?"Q: A blonde is walking down the street with a pig under her arm.
She passes a person who asks "Where did you get that?"
A: The pig says, "I won her in a raffle!"Q: A blonde ordered a pizza and the clerk asked if he should
cut it in six or twelve pieces.
A: "Six, please. I could never eat twelve pieces."
A blonde, a brunette and a redhead went into a bar and asked the bartender:
Brunette: "I'll have a B and C."
Bartender:"What is a B and C?".
Brunette: "Bourbon and Coke."
Redhead: "And, I'll have a G and T."
Bartender: "What's a G and T?"
Redhead: "Gin and tonic."
Blonde: "I'll have a 15."
Bartender: "What's a 15?"
Blonde: "7 and 7"
A blonde was driving down the highway to Disneyland when she saw a sign that said "DISNEYLAND LEFT". After thinking for a minute, she said to herself "oh well !" and turned around an drove home.
On her way home the same blonde drove past another sign that said "CLEAN RESTROOMS 8 MILES". By the time she drove eight miles, she had cleaned 43 restrooms.
A dumb blonde was bragging about her knowledge of the state capitals. She proudly said," go ahead, ask me, I know all of them." A red head said, "O.K., what's the capital of Wisconsin?" The blonde replied, "Oh, that's easy, 'W'."
Q: What do you call a blonde with half a brain?
A: Gifted!
Q: How do blonde braincells die?
A: Alone.
Q: How do you brainwash a blonde?
A: Give her a douche and shake her upside down.
Q: What do you call it when a blonde dies their hair brunette?
A: Artificial intelligence.
Q: Why do blondes wash their hair in the sink?
A: Because, that's where you're supposed to wash vegetables!
Q: Why didn't the blonde want a window seat on the plane?
A: She'd just brushed her hair.
Q: Why do blondes wear their hair up?
A: To catch as much as they can that is over their heads.
Q: Why is it good to have a blonde passenger?
A: You can park in the handicap zone.
Q: How do you make a blonde's eyes light up?
A: Shine a flashlight in their ear.
Q: Why should blondes not be given coffee breaks?
A: It takes too long to retrain them.
Q: How can you tell if a blonde's been using the computer?
A: There's white-out on the screen.
Q: What's the difference between a blonde and a computer?
A: You only have to punch information into a computer once.
Q: What do a blonde and your computer have in common?
A: You don't know how much either of them mean to you until they go down on you.
Q: Why do blondes wear shoulder pads?
A: (With a rocking of the head from side to side) I dunno?
Q: How do blondes pierce their ears?
A: They put tacks in their shoulder pads.
Q: Why don't blondes eat Jello?
A: They can't figure out how to get two cups of water into those little packages.
Q: What do you call a blonde with a dollar on the top of her head?
A: All you can eat, under a buck.
Q: Why don't blondes eat pickles?
A: Because they can't get their head in the jar.
Q: Why don't blondes eat bananas?
A: They can't find the zipper.
Q: Why do blondes wear hoop earings?
A: They have to have some place to rest their ankles.
Q: What does a blonde put behind her ears to make her more attractive?
A: Her ankles.
Q: Why do blondes wear green lipstick?
A:Because red means stop.
Q: How can you tell if a blonde has been in your refrigerator?
A: By the lipstick on your cucumbers.
Q: Why don't blondes use vibrators?
A: They chip their teeth.
Q: Why do blondes wear underwear?
A: They make good ankle warmers.
Q: What's the mating call of the blonde?
A: "I'm *sooo* drunk!"
Q: What's the mating call of the brunette?
A: "All the blondes have gone home!"
Q: Why do Blondes like the GST? (GST -- Goods and Services Tax now in effect in Canada)
A: Because they can spell it.
Q: What is 74 to a blonde?
A: 69 plus G.S.T.
Q: Why do Blondes have TGIF on their shoes?
A: Toes go in first.
Q: Why do Blondes have TGIF on their shirts?
A: Tits go in front.
Q: How does a blonde like her eggs in the morning?
A: Fertilized.
Q: Why do blondes like tilt steering?
A: More head room.
Q: Why do blondes drive cars with sunroofs?
A: More leg room.
Q: What does a blonde say when you blow in their ear?
A: "Thanks for the refill!"
Q: What is it called when a blonde blows in another blond's ear?
A: Data transfer.
Q: Why do blondes have more fun?
A: Because they don't know any better.
Q: How many blondes does it take to change a lightbulb?
A1: "What's a lightbulb?"
A2: One. She holds the bulb and the world revolves around her.
A3: Two. One to hold the Diet Pepsi, and one to call, "Daaady!"
A4: None. They can't fit.
Q: What's a blonde's favourite wine?
A: "Daaaady, I want to go to Miaaami!"
Q: What is the difference between a blond and a 747?
A: Not everyone has been in a 747.
Q: What does a dumb blonde say when she gives birth?
A: Gee, Are you sure it's mine?
Q: How do you get a blonde to marry you?
A: Tell her she's pregnant.
Q: What will she ask you?
A: "Is it mine?"
Q: Santa Claus, the Tooth Fairy, a dumb blonde, and a smart blonde are walking down the
street when they spot a $10 bill. Who picks it up?
A: The dumb blonde. There is no such thing as Santa Claus, the tooth fairy, or a smart
blonde.
Q: Why did the blonde scale the glass wall?
A: To see what was on the other side.
Q: What do you do when a blonde throws a hand grenade at you?
A: Pull the pin and throw it back.
Q: Why do Blondes take the pill?
A: So they know what day of the week it is.
Q: Why did the blonde stop using the pill?
A: Because it kept falling out.
Q: But why do brunettes take the pill?
A: Wishful Thinking.
Q: Why did the blonde have a sore navel?
A: Because her boyfriend was also blond!
Q: If a blonde and a brunette are tossed off a building, who hits the ground first?
A: The brunette. The blonde has to stop to ask for directions.
Q: Whats the difference between a blonde and a Porsche?
A: You don't lend the Porsche out to your friend.
Q: What is the difference between a blonde and "The Titanic"?
A: They know how many men went down on "The Titanic".
Q: What is the difference between a smart blonde and Bigfoot?
A: Bigfoot has been spotted.
Q: What's the difference between a blonde and a telephone?
A: It costs 30 cents to use a telephone.
Q: What's the difference between a blonde and your job?
A: Your job still sucks after 6 months.
Q: What's the difference between a blond having her period and a terrorist?
A: You can negotiate with a terrorist.
Q: What do blondes and cow-pats have in common?
A: They both get easier to pick-up with age.
Q: What does a blond and a beer bottle have in common?
A: They're both empty from the neck up.
Q: What do peroxide blonds and black men have in common?
A: They both have black roots.
Q: Why did the deaf blond sit on a newspaper?
A: So she could lip read.
Q: How do you drown a blond?
A: Put a mirror at the bottom of the pool.
Q: How do you drown a blonde?
A: Don't tell her to swallow.
Q: Why did the blondes have square boobs?
A: Because they forgot to take the tissues out of the box.
Q: How many blondes does it take to make chocolate-chip cookies?
A1: 10. One to mix the dough and nine to peel the smarties.
A2: Three...one to mix the batter and two to squeeze the rabbit.
Q: What job function does a blonde have in an M&M factory?
A: Proofreading.
Q: How do you tell if a blonde did your landscaping?
A: The bushes are darker than the rest of the yard.
Q: What did the blonde's mum say to her before the blonde's date.
A: If you're not in bed by 12, come home.
Q: What's the Blonde's cheer?
A: " I'm blonde, I'm blonde, I'm B.L.O.N....ah, oh well.. I'm blonde, I'm blonde, yea
yea yea..."
Q: How did the blonde try to kill the bird?
A: She threw it off a cliff.
Q: How does a blonde high-5?
A: She smacks herself in the forehead.
Q: Why do blondes have legs?
A: To get between the bedroom and the kitchen.
Q: Why did the blonde go half way to Norway and then turn around and come home?
A: It took her that long to discover that a 14 inch Viking was a television.
Q: How do you describe a blonde, surrounded by drooling idiots?
A: Flattered.
Q: Why do blondes always die before help arrives?
A: They always forget the 11 in 9-1-1. 118.
Q: What do you call a brunette with a blonde on either side? A: An interpreter. 120. Q: What do you call a blonde between two brunettes? A: A mental block. 121. Q: What do you call 10 blondes standing ear to ear? A: A wind tunnel. 122. Q: What do you call 15 blondes in a circle? A: A dope ring. 123. Q: What do you call a blond with a bag of sugar on her head? A: Sweet Fuck All... 124. Q: What do you call a swimming pool full of blondes? A: Frosted Flakes. 125. Q: What do you call 20 blondes in a freezer? A: Frosted Flakes. 126. Q: What do you call a blonde skeleton in the closet? A: Last year's hide-and-seek champ. 127. Q: What do you call a fly buzzing inside a blonde's head? A: A Space Invader. 128. Q: What do you call a blonde in a tree with a brief case? A: Branch Manager. 129. Q: What do you call a smart blond? A: A labrador. 130. Q: How does a blonde interpret 6.9? A: A 69 interrupted by a period. 131. Q: What did the blonde say when she looked into a box of Cheerios? A: "Oh look! Doughnut seeds!" 132. Q: Why do blonds have two more brain cells than a cow? A: So they don't shit everywhere when you pull their tits. 133. Q: Why don't blonds breast feed? A: Because they always burn their nipples. 134. Q: Why do blondes put their hair in ponytails? A: To cover up the valve stem. 135. Q: What did the blonde name her pet zebra? A: Spot. 136. Q: What's a blonde's favourite rock group? A: Air Supply. 137. Q: What do you see when you look into a blonde's eyes? A: The back of her head. 138. Q: Why do blondes drive VW's A: Because they can't spell Porsche. 139. Q: How do you make a blond laugh on Monday mornings? A: Tell them a joke on Friday night. 140. Q: Why did God create blondes? A: Because sheep can't bring beer from the fridge. 141. Q: Why do blondes have see-through lunch box lids? A: So they know if it is morning or afternoon. 142. Q: Whats black and fuzzy and hangs from the ceiling? A: A blond electrician 143. Q: Why are dumb blonde jokes so short? A1: So brunettes can remember them. A2: Because blonds are so shallow a long joke wouldn't fit. 144. Q: Why wasn't the Virgin Mary a blonde? A: She wouldn't have been old enough to bear children. 145. Q: Why are blondes hurt by peoples words? A: Because people keep hitting them with dictionaries. 146. Q: Why did the blonde fail at being a prostitute? A: Because she gave blow-jobs literally. 147. Q: What did the blonde do when she got her period? A: Looked around for the bastard that must have shot her? 148. Q: Why do blondes have periods? A: They deserve them. 149. Q: What did the blonde say to the physicist? A: "Why, I just _love_ nuclear fission! What do you use for bait?" 150. Q: Why are blondes like cornflakes? A: Because they're simple, easy and they taste good. 151. Q: How do you know when a blonde has been making chocolate chip cookies? A: You find M&M shells all over the kitchen floor. 152. Q: How do you drive a blonde crazy? A: Give her a bag of M&Ms and tell her to alphabetise them. 153. Did you here about the blonde that stayed up all night to see where the sun went? It finally dawned on her. 154. A blonde was driving down the highway to Disneyland when she saw a sign that said "DISNEYLAND LEFT". After thinking for a minute, she said to herself "oh well!" and turned around an drove home. On her way home the same blonde drove past another sign that said "CLEAN RESTROOMS 8 MILES". By the time she had driven eight miles, she had cleaned 43 restrooms. 155. How about the suicide blonde, she dyed by her own hand. 156. A brunette and a blonde are walking along in a park. The brunette says suddenly, "Awww, look at the dead birdie". The blonde stops, looks up, and says, "Where?" 157. A policeman pulled a blonde over after he/she'd been driving the wrong way on a one-way street. Cop: Do you know where you were going? Blonde: No, but wherever it is, it must be bad 'cause all the people were leaving. 158. A cop stops a blonde woman who was driving down a motorway. "Miss, may I see your driver's licence please?" "Driver's licence? What's that?..." "It's a little card with your picture on it." "Oh, duh! Here it is..." "May I have your car insurance?" "What's that?..." "It's a document that says you are allowed to drive the car." "Oh this? Duh! Here you go..." The cop then takes his dick out of his pants, while the blonde exclaims: "Oh no, not another breathalyzer test!" 159. Hubby: As a start I think you should learn to "iron", then we could do without the ironing lady. Blonde Wife: Well if you would learn to fuck me properly we could do without the gardener. 160. A blonde and a brunette were discussing their boyfriends: Brunette: Last night I had *three* orgasms in a row! Blonde: That's nothing; last night I had over a hundred. Brunette: My god! I had no idea he was that good. Blonde: ( looking shocked ) Oh, you mean with one guy. 161. Three blondes are attempting to change a light bulb. One of them decides to call 911: Blonde: We need help. We're three blondes changing a light bulb. Operator: Hmmmmm. You put in a fresh bulb? Blonde: Yes. Operator: The power in the house in on? Blonde: Of course. Operator: And the switch is on? Blonde: Yes, yes. Operator: And the bulb still won't light up? Blonde: No, it's working fine. Operator: Then what's the problem? Blonde: We got dizzy spinning the ladder around and we all fell and hurt ourselves. 162. What about the blond guy whose wife gave birth to twins? He wanted to know who the other man was... 163. There were three people stranded on an island, a brunette, a redhead, and a blonde. The brunette looked over the water to the mainland and estimated about 20 miles to shore. So she announced, "I'm going to try to swim to shore." So she swam out five miles, and got really tired. She swam out ten miles from the island, and she was too tired to go on, so she drowned. The second one, the redhead, said to herself, "I wonder if she made it. I guess it's better to try to get to the mainland than stay here and starve." So she attempts to swim out. The redhead had a lot more endurance than the brunette, as she swam out 10 miles before she even got tired. After 15 miles, she was too tired to go on, so she drowned. So the blonde thought to herself, "I wonder if they made it! I think I'd better try to make it, too." So she swam out 5 miles, ten miles, 15 miles, NINETEEN miles from the island. The shore was just in sight, but she said, "I'm too tired to go on!" So she swam back. 164. This blonde and her boyfriend were sitting in a hot tub when the blonde said to her boyfriend, "Is it true that if you pull you finger out, I'll sink?" 165. Two blondes were walking through the woods when one looked down and said "Oh, look at the deer tracks." The other blonde looks and says "Those aren't deer tracks, those are wolf tracks." "No. Those are deer tracks." They keep arguing, and arguing, and a half-hour later they were both killed by a train. 166. The blonde came running downstairs, crying. Her mother asked what was wrong and the blonde said her boyfriend had just dropped her. Her mother (a blonde) nodded wisely and proceeded to tell her about the birds and the bees and the blonde said: "No ma. I can fuck and suck with the best of them. But he says I can't cook." 167. Two blondes observed in a parking lot trying to unlock the door of their Mercedes with a coat hanger. Blonde#1: I can't seem to get this door unlocked! Blonde#2: Well, you'd better hurry up and try harder, its starting to rain and the top is down! 168. Q: What do you get when you turn 3 blondes upside-down? A: Two brunettes. 169. Q: Why was the blonde depressed when she received her driver's license? A: Because she got an F in sex. 170. Q: What do you call a brunette and four blondes standing on a street corner? A: Regular price, 4 bucks, 4 bucks, 4 bucks, 4 bucks! 171. Did you hear about the blonde who... ...had more on her body than on her mind? ...was called "Sanka" because she had no active ingredient in the bean? ...took an hour to cook Minute Rice? ...got into the taxi, and the driver kept the "Vacant" sign up? ...was an M.D. - Mentally Deficient? ...had a terrific stairway, but nothing upstairs? ...thought nitrates was cheaper than day rates? ...was told she was a silly puss, but insisted she didn't have a crazy cat? ...after watching the ballerinas, wondered why they didn't get ...taller girls? ...went to a nudist camp for a game of strip poker? ...brought her cosmetics with her for a make-up exam? 172. Q: What do you call two nuns and a blonde? A: Two tight ends and a wide receiver. 173. There were three women who were at the gynecologist having pre-natal checkups The doctor asked the first woman "in what position was the baby concieved?" "He was on top," she replyed. "You will have a boy!" the doctor exclaimed. The second woman was asked the same question. "I was on top," was the reply. "You will have a baby girl." said the doctor. With this, the third women, a blond, burst into tears. "Whats the matter?" asked the doc. "Am I going to have puppies?"..... 174. Q: What do you call 3 blondes, a chimp, and another blonde standing on a street corner? A: 4 f*cks, 4 f*cks, 4 f*cks, not for a zillion f*cks, 4 f*cks! 175. Q: What's the difference between a blond and a shopping cart. A: A shopping cart has a mind of it's own. 176. Q: What do you call a blonde lesbian? A: A waste. 177. Q: How would a blond punctuate "fun fun fun worry worry worry"? A: Fun period fun period fun NO PERIOD worry worry worry! 178. Q: How can you tell which blonde is the waitress? A: She is the one with the tampon behind her ear, wondering what she did with her pencil. 179. Blondes... They take a lickin', and keep on... Lickin! 180. A blonde was walking along, when she looked up to observe a bird flying overhead. Suddenly, the bird drops a load when it was directly over her. The blonde says, "Good thing I had my mouth open, or that would've hit me right in the face!!!" 181. Did you hear about the blonde couple that were found frozen to death in their car at a drive-in movie theater? They went to see "Closed for the Winter". 182. Q: What goes VROOM, SCREECH,VROOM, SCREECH,VROOM, SCREECH,VROOM, SCREECH? A: A blonde going through a flashing red light. 183. Q: What does a blonde say when you ask her if her blinker is on? A: It's on. It's off. It's on. It's off. It's on. It's off. It's on. It's off. 184. Q: What is the difference between a blonde and the Grand Old Duke of York? A: The Grand Old Duke of York only had 10000 men! 185. Q: What's a blonde's favorite nursery rhyme? A: Humpme Dumpme. 186. Q: Why aren't BLONDES good cattle herders? A: Because the can't even keep two calves together! 187. Q: Why do blondes tattoo their zipcode under their belly button? A: So they can get the male into the right box. 188. Q: What do blondes and cow chips have in common? A: The older they get, the easier they are to pick up. 189. Q: What do you call a basement full of blondes? A: A whine cellar. 190. Q: Why did the blonde keep ice cubes in the freezer? A: So she could keep the refrigerator cold! 191. Q: How did the dumb blonde break her leg raking leaves? A: She fell out of the tree. 192. Q: What do you call a dumb blonde behind a steering wheel? A: An air bag. 193. Q: Why did the blonde cross the road? A: Never mind that! What was she doing out of the bedroom?!? 194. Q: Why did the blonde smile when she walked the marriage aisle? A: She realized she had given her last blowjob. 195. Q: What can strike a blonde without her even knowing it? A: A thought. 196. Q: Why is a blonde like an old washing machine? A: They both drip when they're fucked. 197. Q: Why is a washing machine better than a blonde? A: Because you can drop your load in a washing machine, and it won't follow you around for a week. 198. Q: What is the difference between a blonde's legs and cold butter? A: Cold butter is difficult to spread. 199. Did you hear the one about the blonde who thought that "love handles" referred to her ears? 200. Q: What do a blonde and Presdient Gorbachev have in common? A: They both got fucked by 10 men while on holiday. 201. Q: What's the difference between a blonde and President Gorbachev? A: He knows who the ten men were. 202. Q: Why did they call the blond "Twinkie"? A: She was always being filled with cream.
Q:Why did the blonde jump off a cliff?
A:She thought her maxi pads had wings.
Submitted by Curtis Paddle
Q:If Santa clause, a smart blonde and a dumb blonde jump off a cliff who would hit the
ground first?
A:The dumb blonde, because santa clause and smart blonds don't exist.
Submitted by Curtis Paddle
Q:Whats dumber than two blondes trying to build a house under water?
A:Two blondes trying to burn it down.
Submitted by Curtis Paddle
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