Stand Up Comedy! Funny Nonsense!

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One day i went to the graveyard. There I saw a gravestone that said,"Here lies Frank, a honest man and a lawyer." I never knew you could bury 3 men in one grave!

Submitted by John Wu

Get married early in the morning... If it doesn't work out, you haven't wasted your whole day.

Submitted by David Marshall

An answering machine message:
"Finally got an answering machine. Now how does this thing work? Hmmm.
Press record button, I did that, and the light should be on. I wonder why it's
not working right. Hmmmm, I wonder what this button does......"

(phone rings)
(you answer) Hello, this is <...> speaking. I'd like a large pizza
with extra anchovies.
(other person) What?
(you reply) Oh, sorry, I must have a wrong number.
(hang up)

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