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Would you like to submit your jokes to this page? -->CLICK HERE!<--
I live in a small town... if you can call it that. My friend emailed me the
following representations of my town:
Your city limits signs are both on the same post!
the City jail is called amoeba, because it only has one cell
the McDonalds only has one Golden Arch
the 7-11 is a 3 1/2 - 5 1/2
the one-block-long Main Street dead ends in both directions
the phone book has only one page
there's nothing doing every minute
the ZIP code was a fraction
Second Street is in the next town over
there's no place to go that you shouldn't
a "Night on the Town" takes only 11 minutes
the mayor had to annex property to eat a foot-long hot dog
the New Year's baby was born in October
Two Texans were eating in a little truck stop restaurant. The two were enjoying a blue
plate special together and talking about the next hunt.
Suddenly, a beautiful woman begins to choke on her food. The biggest Texan of the two
jumps up to help her. He places big large hands on either side of the beautiful woman's
head and
asks "Are you choking?" She replies with a nod yes. The Texan then asks "Can you
talk?" The beautiful woman frantically nods no. The Texan then asks "Can you breath?" By
this point she is turning blue and convulsing. The quick thinking Texan pulls the woman out of her chair, by
the head mind you, and whips off her pants, pulls down her panties and begins to lick
her up and down and all around her ass. The woman, in complete shock, spits up the food and
begins to breath normally again. Still in complete shock, she thanks the Texan... though she is
not quite sure if she should thank him or slap him. He nods and says "My pleasure little
lady." The Texan rejoins his fellow Texan at their table and replies "It always amazes me how
well that Hind-Lick Maneuver works... it works every time."
Submitted by: Kristin Putnam
-The Richter scale measures a 4 when she goes out to get the mail.
-When she hauls ass she has to make two trips.
-They had to grease a door frame and hold a Twinkie on the other side to get her through.
-When she dances she makes the band skip.
-Instead of Levi's 501 jeans she wears Levi's 1002s.
-When she was diagnosed with the flesh eating disease the doctor gave her 13 years to
live.
-When I yell "Hey, Kool-Aid!" she comes crashing through the wall.
-She puts mayonnaise on aspirin.
-Her ass has its own congressman.
-Her cereal bowl came with a lifeguard
-When she goes to the zoo the elephants throw HER peanuts.
-When your father mounts her his ears pop.
-Her high school graduation picture was an aerial photograph.
-Her driver's license says "Picture continued on other side."
-She can't even jump to a conclusion.
-The back of her neck looks like a pack of hot dogs.
-She has to iron her pants on the driveway.
-The shadow of her ass weighs 100 pounds.
Q: What do you call a constipated Frenchi?
A: A Blocked Quebecois
Submitted By Shane Burley
One day a Mexican, Idahoan, and a Californian were sitting around a campfire. the Idahoan throws a bottle in the air and shots it.. the Mexican asked "why did you do that?" the Idahoan said " that's what we do were I come from.." so then the Californian throw up a bottle and shot the Mexican. then the Idahoan asked " why do you do that?" the Californian simply replied we have to many of them beaners where I come from..
Submitted by Bryan Krichbaum