He: I'm a really good cook!
She: What do you cook best?
He: Breakfast in bed! (grins)

What do you like for breakfast?

Let's do breakfast tomorrow. Should I call you or nudge you?

Would you like to have morning coffee with me?

Should I wake you in the morning?

You've got the smile I'd like to wake up to.

There are just two things I'd like to say to you, "good night" and "good
morning".

Let me be your coffee in the morning, your candy at noon, and your cool creamy dessert in the evening.

Would you like to watch the sunrise together?

If I could rewrite the alphabet, I would put U and I together.
or
If I could rewrite the alphabet, I would put you between f and ck.

I saw your picture in the dictionary today...next to the word 'beautiful'.

I looked up the word "beautiful" in the thesaurus today, and your name was included.

What's your sign?

The best part of me is covered up.
(If wearing swim trunks, a bikini, or a skimpy outfit)

Is your daddy a thief?
No.
Then who stole those diamonds and put them in your eyes?

Your eyes are as blue as window cleaner.

Did anyone ever tell you that you have the most pulchritudinous orbs?

Your eyes are as blue as my toilet water at home.

If you got those eyes from your mother, I know why your dad married her.

You know, you're very easy on the eyes.

There must be something wrong with my eyes, I can't take them off you.

(At an engineering school luncheon)

He: Your eyes are emitting magnetic fields.
She: Oh, and how do magnetic fields feel?
He: Attractive...

Do you have a map? I just keep on getting lost in your eyes.

Ya know, that wine really brings out the bloodshot in your eyes.

No wonder the sky is so gray today, all the blue is in your eyes.

Where did you get your freckles from?
Where *else* do you have freckles?

Your father must have been a bricklayer, because you sure are built with a
great foundation.

Guy goes up to a girl, licks his finger, touches her on the shoulder, and then touches himself (all this while she is watching him) and says: How about you and I get out of these wet clothes?

Do I know you from somewhere? Or is it just that you have your clothes on?

Excuse me, but don't you recognize me with clothes on?

Here's your chance to get to know me.

Don't you know me from somewhere?

You don't know me, but you'd really like to.


I'm looking for a friend...do you want to be my friend?

Mmmm, you bring new meaning to the word "edible".

Excuse me, but I DO think it's time we met.

She: I really enjoyed myself tonight.
He: I enjoyed myself too. Maybe sometime we can let our bodies enjoy each other.

That dress would look awfully nice on my bedroom floor.
or
That miniskirt would look great crumpled up at the end of my bed.
or
That's a cute outfit. It would be even cuter wrinkled on my bedroom floor.
or
I think that shirt would look great on the carpet beside my bed.

That's a nice watch. It would look great on my nightstand.

-= pick-up line humor =-= 42 =------------------------------------------------

If you happen to meet a girl while she is shopping for a new outfit:

Do you know what would look absolutely terrific on you? Me.

-= pick-up line humor =-= 43 =------------------------------------------------

Hey babe, do you realize that my mouth can generate over 750 psi?

-= pick-up line humor =-= 44 =------------------------------------------------

Drop 'em.

-= pick-up line humor =-= 45 =------------------------------------------------

Excuse me. Do you wanna fuck or should I apologize?

-= pick-up line humor =-= 46 =------------------------------------------------

If we're not related, I'd like to be.

-= pick-up line humor =-= 47 =------------------------------------------------

Say, didn't we go to different schools together?

-= pick-up line humor =-= 48 =------------------------------------------------

Say, wasn't I blissfully married to you once?

-= pick-up line humor =-= 49 =------------------------------------------------

Excuse me, but weren't you Shirley MacLaine in a past life?

-= pick-up line humor =-= 50 =------------------------------------------------

Excuse me, but weren't we blissfully married in a past life?

-= pick-up line humor =-= 51 =------------------------------------------------

I think I was your blanket/lace pantie/vibrator in a previous life.

-= pick-up line humor =-= 52 =------------------------------------------------

Say, didn't we meet at Woodstock/college/the V.D. clinic?

-= pick-up line humor =-= 53 =------------------------------------------------

Didn't I used to always pull on your ponytail in grammar school?

-= pick-up line humor =-= 54 =------------------------------------------------

Wasn't it you who pinched me in the third grade?

-= pick-up line humor =-= 55 =------------------------------------------------

Excuse me, didn't we spend a week in the Bahamas together?

-= pick-up line humor =-= 56 =------------------------------------------------

Wanna fuck like bunnies?

-= pick-up line humor =-= 57 =------------------------------------------------

Help, I'm lost. Which way is it to your house?
or
Hi, I'm new in town. Which way is it to your house?

-= pick-up line humor =-= 58 =------------------------------------------------

Why don't you come on over here, sit on my lap, and we'll talk about the first
thing that pops up?

-= pick-up line humor =-= 59 =------------------------------------------------

Sit on my lap and we'll get things straight between us.

-= pick-up line humor =-= 60 =------------------------------------------------

I had a friend who used to hand out calling cards which said:

"Smile if you want to sleep with me."

then watch the victim try to hold back her smile...

Or he had cards that said:

"Here I am, madly in love with you, on the verge of killing myself for your love
and I don't even know your NAME__________ PHONE________"

-= pick-up line humor =-= 61 =------------------------------------------------

I have had a really bad day and it always makes me feel better to see a pretty
girl smile. So, would you smile for me?

-= pick-up line humor =-= 62 =------------------------------------------------

Did the sun come out or did you just smile at me?

-= pick-up line humor =-= 63 =------------------------------------------------

Were you just smiling at me from across the room, or do I have my contacts in
wrong?

-= pick-up line humor =-= 64 =------------------------------------------------

That's a nice smile you've got, shame that's not all you're wearing.

-= pick-up line humor =-= 65 =------------------------------------------------

Is that your smile or did you pay for it?

-= pick-up line humor =-= 66 =------------------------------------------------

At the office copy machine:
"Reproducing, eh? Can I help?"

-= pick-up line humor =-= 67 =------------------------------------------------

There's an aura about you that's hidden and I want to bring that aura out.

-= pick-up line humor =-= 68 =------------------------------------------------

Said to someone who is working at a job (waiter/waitress, salesperson, etc.):

What time do you get off and how?

-= pick-up line humor =-= 69 =------------------------------------------------

What time do we get off together?

-= pick-up line humor =-= 70 =------------------------------------------------

Said to someone who is working:

Those pants/jeans/skirt/dress seem to be working overtime. What time are they
getting off?

-= pick-up line humor =-= 71 =------------------------------------------------

She (to passing man): Excuse me, do you have the time?
He: Do you have the energy?

-= pick-up line humor =-= 72 =------------------------------------------------

Woman: Excuse me, do you have the time?
Man: Do you have the place in mind?

-= pick-up line humor =-= 73 =------------------------------------------------

Your place or mine?

-= pick-up line humor =-= 74 =------------------------------------------------

Your place or the mens bathroom?

-= pick-up line humor =-= 75 =------------------------------------------------

Your face or mine?

-= pick-up line humor =-= 76 =------------------------------------------------

Do you want to come back to my place and pet my dog/cat?

-= pick-up line humor =-= 77 =------------------------------------------------

Hi, I work as a raw meat inspector. Let's go to your place for an inspection.

-= pick-up line humor =-= 78 =------------------------------------------------

So, howzabout the two of us going back to my place and you run your fingers
through the hair on my back?

-= pick-up line humor =-= 79 =------------------------------------------------

Let's go to my place and do the things I'll tell everyone we did anyway.

-= pick-up line humor =-= 80 =------------------------------------------------

The word of the day is "legs." Let's go back to my place and spread the word.

-= pick-up line humor =-= 81 =------------------------------------------------

I'm leaving this place, want to cum?

-= pick-up line humor =-= 82 =------------------------------------------------

My friends are leaving, but I'd love it if you gave me a reason to stay.

-= pick-up line humor =-= 83 =------------------------------------------------

Let's go back to your place and make out all night like high school.

-= pick-up line humor =-= 84 =------------------------------------------------

Your place or your place?

-= pick-up line humor =-= 85 =------------------------------------------------

There's a fire back at my place. Would you like to go get warm?

-= pick-up line humor =-= 86 =------------------------------------------------

Why don't I go up to your place and see you sometime?

-= pick-up line humor =-= 87 =------------------------------------------------

I hear there is a Toga Party tonight. Hey baby, want to get into my sheet?

-= pick-up line humor =-= 88 =------------------------------------------------

What is your favorite position on extramarital sex?

-= pick-up line humor =-= 89 =------------------------------------------------

If we were alone together, what would you do to entertain us?

-= pick-up line humor =-= 90 =------------------------------------------------

Our chromosomes were meant to be together.

-= pick-up line humor =-= 91 =------------------------------------------------

Hey babe, wanna get LUCKY!?!?!!

-= pick-up line humor =-= 92 =------------------------------------------------

Say mother! Want another? (if she has children)

-= pick-up line humor =-= 93 =------------------------------------------------

Bond. James Bond.

-= pick-up line humor =-= 94 =------------------------------------------------

The spy agency has sent me here to save you. Take my hand and come with me.

-= pick-up line humor =-= 95 =------------------------------------------------

Gosh, you're pretty/handsome!!!

-= pick-up line humor =-= 96 =------------------------------------------------

Stand back, I'm a doctor. You go get an ambulance, I'll loosen her clothes.

-= pick-up line humor =-= 97 =------------------------------------------------

You have the ass of a great artist.

-= pick-up line humor =-= 98 =------------------------------------------------

A friend of mine who walked up to a young lady in a club and simply asked, "Are
you ready to go home now?" She smiled a bit, stood up, and they left together.

-= pick-up line humor =-= 99 =------------------------------------------------

Hello, Susie. Your mom couldn't make it this afternoon, she asked me to pick you
up and take you home. My, what a pretty dress.

-= pick-up line humor =-= 100 =------------------------------------------------

Excuse me, I'm a little short on cash, would you mind if we shared a cab home
together?

-= pick-up line humor =-= 101 =------------------------------------------------

Wait until it gets near last call in a bar. Find the drunkest looking woman in
the place, walk up to her, and say, "Okay, let's go home..."

-= pick-up line humor =-= 102 =------------------------------------------------

Help the homeless. Take me home with you.

-= pick-up line humor =-= 103 =------------------------------------------------

Do you need a ride home?

-= pick-up line humor =-= 104 =------------------------------------------------

If I told you that you have a nice body, would you hold *it* against me?

-= pick-up line humor =-= 105 =------------------------------------------------

When asked for a match:
How about the hair on my head and the hair between your legs?
or
My penis, your vagina.

-= pick-up line humor =-= 106 =------------------------------------------------

Is this love on a two-way street...or is it a dead end?

-= pick-up line humor =-= 107 =------------------------------------------------

I love you. I want to marry you. Now fuck my brains out.

-= pick-up line humor =-= 108 =------------------------------------------------

Forget that! Playing doctor is for kids! Let's play gynecologist.

-= pick-up line humor =-= 109 =------------------------------------------------

Interested in a hot and steaming dish of conversation?

-= pick-up line humor =-= 110 =------------------------------------------------

Do you know the difference between conversation and sex?
No.
Wanna go upstairs and talk?

-= pick-up line humor =-= 111 =------------------------------------------------

What did you say? Oh, I thought you were talking to me.

-= pick-up line humor =-= 112 =------------------------------------------------

Hi, the voices in my head told me to come over and talk to you.

-= pick-up line humor =-= 113 =------------------------------------------------

You are the only reason why I came in here alone.

-= pick-up line humor =-= 114 =------------------------------------------------

Let's go lie down and talk about it.

-= pick-up line humor =-= 115 =------------------------------------------------

Shall we talk or continue flirting from a distance?

-= pick-up line humor =-= 116 =------------------------------------------------

If you're not doing anything with those supple lips of yours, how would you like
to talk to me?

-= pick-up line humor =-= 117 =------------------------------------------------

Do you know the difference between hamburgers and head jobs?
No.
Let's do lunch then!

-= pick-up line humor =-= 118 =------------------------------------------------

So, what are the chances that we can engage in anything more than just
conversation?

-= pick-up line humor =-= 119 =------------------------------------------------

I'm on fire. Can I run through your sprinkler?

-= pick-up line humor =-= 120 =------------------------------------------------

I'd look good on you.

-= pick-up line humor =-= 121 =------------------------------------------------

I would kill or die to make love to you.

-= pick-up line humor =-= 122 =------------------------------------------------

I would die happy if I saw you naked just once.

-= pick-up line humor =-= 123 =------------------------------------------------

Sex is a killer...want to die happy?

-= pick-up line humor =-= 124 =------------------------------------------------

Hi! Can I buy you a car?

-= pick-up line humor =-= 125 =------------------------------------------------

NOW, BITCH!

-= pick-up line humor =-= 126 =------------------------------------------------

Oh, I'm doing fine! And you?
(While looking at someone and waiting for them to say anything)

-= pick-up line humor =-= 127 =------------------------------------------------

Aren't we supposed to get together for a candlelight dinner later tonight?

-= pick-up line humor =-= 128 =------------------------------------------------

Hi, I just moved to this city and was wondering if you could recommend a good
restaurant here. Would you also like to join me?

-= pick-up line humor =-= 129 =------------------------------------------------

My drink is getting lonely, so would you like to join me with one?

-= pick-up line humor =-= 130 =------------------------------------------------

Can I taste your drink/dish? (Then lean over and kiss him or her.)

-= pick-up line humor =-= 131 =------------------------------------------------

Can I buy you a drink or do you just want the money?

-= pick-up line humor =-= 132 =------------------------------------------------

I've had quite a bit to drink, and you're beginning to look pretty good.

-= pick-up line humor =-= 133 =------------------------------------------------

I am not drunk, I'm just intoxicated by you.

-= pick-up line humor =-= 134 =------------------------------------------------

Would you like someone to mix with your drink?

-= pick-up line humor =-= 135 =------------------------------------------------

Excuse me, why is your drink glowing?

-= pick-up line humor =-= 136 =------------------------------------------------

I'd love to buy you a drink, but I'd be jealous of the glass.

-= pick-up line humor =-= 137 =------------------------------------------------

If I drink one of these, I may forget how to get back to the monastery.

-= pick-up line humor =-= 138 =------------------------------------------------

Feel free to buy me a drink anytime.

-= pick-up line humor =-= 139 =------------------------------------------------

Fancy a fuck?

-= pick-up line humor =-= 140 =------------------------------------------------

My face is leaving in 15 minutes. Be on it.

-= pick-up line humor =-= 141 =------------------------------------------------

Excuse me, but would you like an orally stimulated orgasm?

-= pick-up line humor =-= 142 =------------------------------------------------

It's always good for you to see me again.

-= pick-up line humor =-= 143 =------------------------------------------------

The best pickup line I have ever heard and I have to admit it got my attention
was when I was out dancing one night and a guy came up to me and said:

Hey! I like your shoes! Do you like mine??

It worked and we are still friends today.

-= pick-up line humor =-= 144 =------------------------------------------------

He: Have you ever had one of those fantasies where Greek gods feed you these
little pickles?
She: No.
He: Well, I'll have to show you what one is like, but it will be only one Greek
god (point to yourself, then look down at your crotch) and I won't be
feeding you little pickles.

-= pick-up line humor =-= 145 =------------------------------------------------

Well, the worst pickup line I have ever heard (it was said to me) was:

I hate you...are you here with your friends?

-= pick-up line humor =-= 146 =------------------------------------------------

On the same note, one of my favorites (that I've never had the guts to try) is
to walk up to a girl, put your hands on her shoulders, and say, "I'd like to
get something straight between us." and then look at your (you know)......

-= pick-up line humor =-= 147 =------------------------------------------------

Wanna Dance?
No!
Wanna Drink?
No!
Wanna Fuck?
Yes (pause) but not with you

-= pick-up line humor =-= 148 =------------------------------------------------

So, do you wanna see something really swell?

-= pick-up line humor =-= 149 =------------------------------------------------

That girl/guy I'm with, oh, she's/he's just my sister/brother.

-= pick-up line humor =-= 150 =------------------------------------------------

One of the worst pickup lines ever (most probably will get you slapped):
I had sex with someone last night. Was that you?

-= pick-up line humor =-= 151 =------------------------------------------------

Another line that doesn't work:

Gee, you don't sweat much for a fat chick.

-= pick-up line humor =-= 152 =------------------------------------------------

For a fat chick, you sure have small tits.

-= pick-up line humor =-= 153 =------------------------------------------------

Do you take it up the bum? (This also does not work and can be painful)

-= pick-up line humor =-= 154 =------------------------------------------------

Is that a double-ended dildo or are you just glad to see me?

-= pick-up line humor =-= 155 =------------------------------------------------

Is that a tic-tac in your pocket or are you just glad to see me?

-= pick-up line humor =-= 156 =------------------------------------------------

Are we in the frozen food section, or are you just happy to see me?

-= pick-up line humor =-= 157 =------------------------------------------------

No, that's not a banana.

-= pick-up line humor =-= 158 =------------------------------------------------

If I gave you a negligee for your birthday, would there be anything in it for
me?

-= pick-up line humor =-= 159 =------------------------------------------------

He: Have you got a little Irish/German/Spanish/Italian/etc in you?
She: Uh...no....
He: Well, do you want some?

-= pick-up line humor =-= 160 =------------------------------------------------

What would you do if I kissed you right now?

-= pick-up line humor =-= 161 =------------------------------------------------

Can I please be your slave tonight?

-= pick-up line humor =-= 162 =------------------------------------------------

You should be someone's wife.

-= pick-up line humor =-= 163 =------------------------------------------------

I have a single.

-= pick-up line humor =-= 164 =------------------------------------------------

Hi, I'm a fashion photographer. Would you like to be in my next photo shoot?

-= pick-up line humor =-= 165 =------------------------------------------------

Pardon me but I was just about to go home and masturbate and I was wondering if
you'd mind if I fantasize about you?

-= pick-up line humor =-= 166 =------------------------------------------------

Hi, do you know why you should masturbate with *these* two fingers?
(holding up any two)
Obvious reply: No, why?
Because they're mine.

-= pick-up line humor =-= 167 =------------------------------------------------

I had a friend give a card that had on the front:

1 2 3 4
Pick a number

and then on the back of the card it read:

Sex maniacs always pick 3

you wouldn't believe how many women pick 3. It was a great card.

-= pick-up line humor =-= 168 =------------------------------------------------

Wow! Are you really as beautiful as you seem or do you remind me of myself?

-= pick-up line humor =-= 169 =------------------------------------------------

Are you incredibly beautiful, or is it just my chemotherapy?

-= pick-up line humor =-= 170 =------------------------------------------------

You look more beautiful than Nurse Chapel.

-= pick-up line humor =-= 171 =------------------------------------------------

If beauty were a crime, you'd be doin' life.

-= pick-up line humor =-= 172 =------------------------------------------------

If beauty were music, you'd be a symphony.

-= pick-up line humor =-= 173 =------------------------------------------------

You must be lost, because I have never seen anyone so beautiful/gorgeous in
this place before.

-= pick-up line humor =-= 174 =------------------------------------------------

You are just truly absolutely beautiful! Can you cook and clean also?

-= pick-up line humor =-= 175 =------------------------------------------------

Is it really bright in here, or am I being blinded by your radiant beauty?

-= pick-up line humor =-= 176 =------------------------------------------------

I never pass up an opportunity to say hello to a beautiful woman.

-= pick-up line humor =-= 177 =------------------------------------------------

You are so beautiful that I would crawl ten miles on my hands and knees through
broken glass just to jerk off in your shadow.

-= pick-up line humor =-= 178 =------------------------------------------------

You are so beautiful that I would crawl ten miles on my hands and knees through
broken beer bottles just to sniff the tire tracks of the laundry truck that
takes your panties to the cleaners.

-= pick-up line humor =-= 179 =------------------------------------------------

I'd drag my balls through a mile of broken glass, followed by a mile of hot
coals, just to chase a laundry truck that MIGHT have your dirty underwear on
board.

-= pick-up line humor =-= 180 =------------------------------------------------

I'd drag my balls through a mile of barbed wire just to hear you fart over a
field telephone. (from the Vietnam era)

-= pick-up line humor =-= 181 =------------------------------------------------

I'd drag my balls through a mile of broken beer bottles and thumbtacks just to
to suck the cock that screwed you last.

-= pick-up line humor =-= 182 =------------------------------------------------

You are so fine that I'd eat your shit just to see where it came from.

-= pick-up line humor =-= 183 =------------------------------------------------

Your voice is music to my ears.

-= pick-up line humor =-= 184 =------------------------------------------------

I saw you play in the band, I'm quite adept with a G string myself!
or
I play in a local band. I can play the G string very well!

-= pick-up line humor =-= 185 =------------------------------------------------

What can I do to make you sleep with me?
or (for a lighter touch)
What can I do to make you mine?

-= pick-up line humor =-= 186 =------------------------------------------------

Want to come into the garden see my big juicy tomatoes? (female version)
or
Want to come into the garden see my big hard cucumbers? (male version)

-= pick-up line humor =-= 187 =------------------------------------------------

Pardon me miss, but I couldn't help noticing that you have cum in your hair.

-= pick-up line humor =-= 188 =------------------------------------------------

Would you like to dance, or should I go fuck myself again?

-= pick-up line humor =-= 189 =------------------------------------------------

Would you like Gin and platonic, or do you prefer Scotch and sofa?

-= pick-up line humor =-= 190 =------------------------------------------------

From: MAD Magazine: Classic Flops Spring 1986.

9 Very Unsuccessful Pick-up Lines:

1. Would you like to see my boa constrictor?
2. Is that a false nose?
3. You look like a hooker I knew in Fresno.
4. I'm drunk.
5. Hi, my friends call me Creepy.
6. Would you like to come to a party in my toolshed?
7. I just threw up.
8. You're ugly but you intrigue me.
9. I had to find out what kind of woman would go out dressed like that.

-= pick-up line humor =-= 191 =------------------------------------------------

Excuse me, but did you happen to find my Congressional Medal of Honor?
or
Excuse me, but did you happen to find my Nobel Peace Prize?

-= pick-up line humor =-= 192 =------------------------------------------------

He: Would you sleep with me for 20 million dollars?
She (sheepishly): Yes.
He: Well then, would you sleep with me for 20 cents?
She: No, what kind of woman do you think I am?
He: We've established what kind of woman that you are, we're just haggling over
the price.

-= pick-up line humor =-= 193 =------------------------------------------------

Take an icecube to the bar, smash it, and say, "Now that I've broken the ice,
will you sleep with me?

-= pick-up line humor =-= 194 =------------------------------------------------

I miss my teddy bear. Would you sleep with me?

-= pick-up line humor =-= 195 =------------------------------------------------

Didn't anyone tell you that you wanted to sleep with me?!?! I thought you knew..

-= pick-up line humor =-= 196 =------------------------------------------------

You know, I've *always* wanted to sleep with you.

-= pick-up line humor =-= 197 =------------------------------------------------

Do you sleep on your stomach?
No.
Can I?

-= pick-up line humor =-= 198 =------------------------------------------------

Haven't I slept with you?

-= pick-up line humor =-= 199 =------------------------------------------------

Miss, if you've lost your virginity, can I have the box it came in?

-= pick-up line humor =-= 200 =------------------------------------------------

If you spot a girl waiting in a restaurant/theater/club for someone, go up to
her and say...

If he doesn't show up, I'll be right over here.

-= pick-up line humor =-= 201 =------------------------------------------------

I think we must make love on the front lawn like crazed weasels NOW!

-= pick-up line humor =-= 202 =------------------------------------------------

You could use some more protein in your diet. Wanna try out some of my fine
meat?

-= pick-up line humor =-= 203 =------------------------------------------------

If this bar is a meat market, you must be the prime rib.

-= pick-up line humor =-= 204 =------------------------------------------------

I bet you've caused a lot of bar brawls.

-= pick-up line humor =-= 205 =------------------------------------------------

Walk over to a table occupied by ladies, whip out your willy, and say:
Hey Charlie, see anyone here you recognize?

-= pick-up line humor =-= 206 =------------------------------------------------

I require a tissue sample. May I sever a little-used portion of your body?
(brandish forceps)

-= pick-up line humor =-= 207 =------------------------------------------------

Hey, wanna see my R2-D2 impersonation? (Think about it...)

-= pick-up line humor =-= 208 =------------------------------------------------

Hey baby...infect me!

-= pick-up line humor =-= 209 =------------------------------------------------

Hey baby...can you suck the chrome off a bumper?!?

-= pick-up line humor =-= 210 =------------------------------------------------

Hey baby...can you suck the chrome off a trailer hitch?

-= pick-up line humor =-= 211 =------------------------------------------------

Hey baby...can you suck a golf ball through 50 feet of garden hose?

-= pick-up line humor =-= 212 =------------------------------------------------

Hey baby...can you suck start a Harley?

-= pick-up line humor =-= 213 =------------------------------------------------

I'll suck you so hard that you'll have to pick the sheets out of your ass when
I'm finished.

-= pick-up line humor =-= 214 =------------------------------------------------

Motion your finger to a girl to get her to come your way. When she arrives say,
"I knew if I fingered you long enough, you would come."
or
"Do you always come when someone fingers you?"
or
"If I can make you come with one finger, just think what I could do with the
rest."

-= pick-up line humor =-= 215 =------------------------------------------------

There's something about you that I like. I just can't put my finger on it.

-= pick-up line humor =-= 216 =------------------------------------------------

Picture this, you, me, bubble baths, and a bottle of champagne.

-= pick-up line humor =-= 217 =------------------------------------------------

I saw you at the party last weekend and you look kind of interesting... Let's
meet sometime...

-= pick-up line humor =-= 218 =------------------------------------------------

God must have been in a very good mood the day we met.

-= pick-up line humor =-= 219 =------------------------------------------------

The front reads:
+-----------------------------------+
|No Phone No Business|
| |
| |
| |
| |
| No Name |
| |
| |
| |
| |
|No Address No Money|
+-----------------------------------+

And the back reads:
+-----------------------------------+
| I'M A SILENT SEDUCER |
| |
|Any chance to get into bed with you|
|tonight? If so, keep the card; if |
|not, kindly return it because they |
|are expensive. I'm not as good as |
|I once was. But I'm good once as I|
|ever was! |
| |
|P.S. You don't have to say yes |
| Just Smile!|
+-----------------------------------+

-= pick-up line humor =-= 220 =------------------------------------------------

Give a girl a business card with the following:

Plain Facts

Scientists have determined that the average time for intercourse is four
minutes. The average number of strokes per minute is nine, and since the
average length is six inches, the average girl receives two hundred and sixteen
inches or eighteen feet per intercourse. The average girl does it three times a
week, fifty weeks a year, and so 150 times 18 makes 2700 feet, or just a little
over half a mile.

So girls, if you are not getting your half a mile a year, why not let the man
who gave you this card help you to catch up!

-= pick-up line humor =-= 221 =------------------------------------------------

No, I'm not a cop. What can I get for fifty bucks?

-= pick-up line humor =-= 222 =------------------------------------------------

Be unique and different, say yes.

-= pick-up line humor =-= 223 =------------------------------------------------

Will you marry me and have my children? (unfortunate side-effects: beware!)

-= pick-up line humor =-= 224 =------------------------------------------------

If you ever want to see your children again, you'll do what I want.

-= pick-up line humor =-= 225 =------------------------------------------------

You're hitchhiking across the Mojave Desert? Alone?

-= pick-up line humor =-= 226 =------------------------------------------------

Do you believe in the hereafter? Well, then I guess you know what I'm here
after.

-= pick-up line humor =-= 227 =------------------------------------------------

I'm really sorry about Al. It was a lovely funeral. You look ravishing in black,
did you know that? What you need now is a nice backrub. Are the straps too
tight, darling? How tragic. How very, very tragic.

-= pick-up line humor =-= 228 =------------------------------------------------

It's absolutely pure Bolivian. And I don't *give* it away.

-= pick-up line humor =-= 229 =------------------------------------------------

You know, I'd really love to fuck your brains out, but it appears someone beat
me to it.

-= pick-up line humor =-= 230 =------------------------------------------------

Would you like to be in movies?

-= pick-up line humor =-= 231 =------------------------------------------------

Perhaps you recognize me from one of the popular adult movies I was in.

-= pick-up line humor =-= 232 =------------------------------------------------

Gosh, I loved your movie!

-= pick-up line humor =-= 233 =------------------------------------------------

May I have your autograph?

-= pick-up line humor =-= 234 =------------------------------------------------

Excuse me, do you live around here often?

-= pick-up line humor =-= 235 =------------------------------------------------

Would you like to see a baby picture of me?
(Shows the girl the picture of a baby better endowed that most men.)

-= pick-up line humor =-= 236 =------------------------------------------------

Let's give our genes a chance to become congenial.

-= pick-up line humor =-= 237 =------------------------------------------------

Hey baby, let's go make some babies.

-= pick-up line humor =-= 238 =------------------------------------------------

Do you want to go halves on a baby?
or
Do you want to go halves on a bastard?

-= pick-up line humor =-= 239 =------------------------------------------------

Hi, I'm taking a survey. Do you spit or swallow?

-= pick-up line humor =-= 240 =------------------------------------------------

Is it just me, or does everyone here seem to have a pick-up line?

-= pick-up line humor =-= 241 =------------------------------------------------

Is it me or are we the only two in here not trying to score?

-= pick-up line humor =-= 242 =------------------------------------------------

You look like the type of girl who has heard every line in the book... So what's
one more??

-= pick-up line humor =-= 243 =------------------------------------------------

One pickup line that might get a laugh, if nothing else, is:

Pardon me, but what pickup line works best with you?

-= pick-up line humor =-= 244 =------------------------------------------------

Hypothetically, what pickup lines are effective with a person like you?

-= pick-up line humor =-= 245 =------------------------------------------------

You make me so nervous and flustered, I've completely forgotten my standard
pick-up line.

-= pick-up line humor =-= 246 =------------------------------------------------

I'm not picking you up. I've picked you out.

-= pick-up line humor =-= 247 =------------------------------------------------

What would it take for a guy like me to go out with a girl like you?

-= pick-up line humor =-= 248 =------------------------------------------------

Hey babe, did you know I'm on the Harvard Mailing List?

-= pick-up line humor =-= 249 =------------------------------------------------

What's your sign?

-= pick-up line humor =-= 250 =------------------------------------------------

And a subtle approach:

Excuse me, but you have a beep on your nose.
What?
(reach up and gently squeeze her nose) BEEP.
(If she laughs, she's yours; if she looks at you funny, apologize.)

-= pick-up line humor =-= 251 =------------------------------------------------

Nice shoes. Wanna fuck?

-= pick-up line humor =-= 252 =------------------------------------------------

Follow these instructions:
1: Make sure that you are in the front of the person you're trying to attract.
2: Put your hands in a vertical plane and separate your hands to the proper
distance you want to get across.
3: Look at the person of your affections and with a ear-to-ear grin, shake your
head up and down as to reply that you're this big!

-= pick-up line humor =-= 253 =------------------------------------------------

Whatever you do, don't ever cut that silky hair of yours!

-= pick-up line humor =-= 254 =------------------------------------------------

There's the old classic from the movie "Fletch" (to girl in towel):
Excuse me, could I borrow your towel? My car just hit a water buffalo.

-= pick-up line humor =-= 255 =------------------------------------------------

I lost my phone number. Can I borrow yours?

-= pick-up line humor =-= 256 =------------------------------------------------

Excuse me, can I borrow your bra?

-= pick-up line humor =-= 257 =------------------------------------------------

She: What do you think of this (dress, sweater, article of clothing)?
He: I like nothing better.

-= pick-up line humor =-= 258 =------------------------------------------------

I want to bear all your children. (to a woman)

-= pick-up line humor =-= 259 =------------------------------------------------

I wonder what our children will look like.

-= pick-up line humor =-= 260 =------------------------------------------------

Would you be offended if I asked you to swallow my children?

-= pick-up line humor =-= 261 =------------------------------------------------

That's a nice dress/pants. Can I talk you out of it?

-= pick-up line humor =-= 262 =------------------------------------------------

I bet there's a whole lot of woman under that dress.
or
I bet there's a whole lot of man in those pants.

-= pick-up line humor =-= 263 =------------------------------------------------

Take off that dress and fuck my brains out, you cave newt.

-= pick-up line humor =-= 264 =------------------------------------------------

If a woman's wearing all red:

I see you have your devil's suit on tonight.

-= pick-up line humor =-= 265 =------------------------------------------------

Did you know that the word 'motel' spelled backwards means 'letom'?

-= pick-up line humor =-= 266 =------------------------------------------------

Nice tits. Mind if I feel them?

-= pick-up line humor =-= 267 =------------------------------------------------

Let's take a shower together, you smell.

-= pick-up line humor =-= 268 =------------------------------------------------

Let's have a party and invite your pants to come on down.

-= pick-up line humor =-= 269 =------------------------------------------------

You smell wet. Let's party.

-= pick-up line humor =-= 270 =------------------------------------------------

There's a party in the back of your mouth and I want to come.

-= pick-up line humor =-= 271 =------------------------------------------------

I've gotta thirst, baby, and you smell like my Gatorade.

-= pick-up line humor =-= 272 =------------------------------------------------

You smell delicious!

-= pick-up line humor =-= 273 =------------------------------------------------

May I end this sentence with a proposition?

-= pick-up line humor =-= 274 =------------------------------------------------

I've got an itch, honey. Lower. Lower. In. Out.

-= pick-up line humor =-= 275 =------------------------------------------------

If I was Elvis, would you screw me?

-= pick-up line humor =-= 276 =------------------------------------------------

I want to thank you for [insert any event here], grab your ankles bitch!

-= pick-up line humor =-= 277 =------------------------------------------------

If you want me, don't shake me, or wake me, just take me.

-= pick-up line humor =-= 278 =------------------------------------------------

I'm available for the next hour or two.

-= pick-up line humor =-= 279 =------------------------------------------------

Want to see my stamp collection?

-= pick-up line humor =-= 280 =------------------------------------------------

Want to come see my hard drive? I promise it isn't 3.5 inches and it ain't
floppy.

-= pick-up line humor =-= 281 =------------------------------------------------

At the dinner table, (if you eat together) pick up the bread and say, "Wanna
roll?"

-= pick-up line humor =-= 282 =------------------------------------------------

Excuse me, have I fucked you yet?

-= pick-up line humor =-= 283 =------------------------------------------------

Congratulations! You've been voted "Most Beautiful Girl In This Room" and the
grand prize is a night with me!

-= pick-up line humor =-= 284 =------------------------------------------------

I'd give you a piece of my mind, but I've got more of something else.

-= pick-up line humor =-= 285 =------------------------------------------------

Ever tried those weird prickly condoms? (sure to get responses)

-= pick-up line humor =-= 286 =------------------------------------------------

Funny you should mention that, I was a gynecologist once.

-= pick-up line humor =-= 287 =------------------------------------------------

Cold outside, isn't it? (staring at breasts)

-= pick-up line humor =-= 288 =------------------------------------------------

Brrr! My hands are cold. Can I warm them in your heaving breasts?

-= pick-up line humor =-= 289 =------------------------------------------------

Your legs look cold. Do you want me to warm them up?

-= pick-up line humor =-= 290 =------------------------------------------------

Do you want to get sticky?

-= pick-up line humor =-= 291 =------------------------------------------------

Actually, ma'am, ah'm not as tall as you think. Ah'm from Taixus, and ah'm
sittin' on mah wallet.

-= pick-up line humor =-= 292 =------------------------------------------------

Hey! Ya wanna try out my new 'Home Artificial Insemination Kit?'

-= pick-up line humor =-= 293 =------------------------------------------------

I am writing a new algorithm, and I need some test data. What are your
measurements?

-= pick-up line humor =-= 294 =------------------------------------------------

I have some hard code I want to try your compiler on.

-= pick-up line humor =-= 295 =------------------------------------------------

From Late Night with David Letterman:

Top Ten Elf Pickup Lines

10. I'm down here.
9. Just because I've got bells on my shoes doesn't mean I'm a sissy.
8. I was once a lawn ornament for John Bon Jovi.
7. I can get you off the naughty list.
6. I have certain needs that can't be satisfied by working on toys.
5. I'm a magical being. Take off your bra..
4. No, no. I don't bake cookies. You're thinking of those dorks over at Keebler
3. I get a thimbleful of tequila in me and I turn into a wild man.
2. You'd look great in a Raggedy Ann wig.
1. I can eat my weight in cocktail wieners.

-= pick-up line humor =-= 296 =------------------------------------------------

Stare at a guy/girl for a long time, and when he/she notices for the second or
third time, go up to him/her and say...

I'm sorry for staring at you, but you look very much like someone I used to
date.

-= pick-up line humor =-= 297 =------------------------------------------------

Do you mind if I stare at you up close instead of from across the room?

-= pick-up line humor =-= 298 =------------------------------------------------

Excuse me, mind if I stare at you for a minute? I want to remember your face
for my dreams.

-= pick-up line humor =-= 299 =------------------------------------------------

Excuse me for staring at you, but I just love the view.

-= pick-up line humor =-= 300 =------------------------------------------------

Sometimes it can be helpful to start with a complement. Example: after
"accidently" bumping her boobs, noticing a loose button, etc., say, "If they
weren't sooo large, it wouldn't have happened."

-= pick-up line humor =-= 301 =------------------------------------------------

Hey, somebody farted. Let's get out of here.

-= pick-up line humor =-= 302 =------------------------------------------------

I want you. Let's get out of here.

-= pick-up line humor =-= 303 =------------------------------------------------

Are you busy the rest of the month?
or
Are you busy tonight at 3:00 A.M.?

-= pick-up line humor =-= 304 =------------------------------------------------

The most common pick-up line used in a gay bar:

May I push in your stool?

-= pick-up line humor =-= 305 =------------------------------------------------

I have only three months to live.
(Heard it in a movie; of course, this was all before AIDS.)
or
I'm filthy rich and have only six weeks to live. Will you help me make these
next few weeks the happiest days of my life?

-= pick-up line humor =-= 306 =------------------------------------------------

Love is like a rug. So you can walk all over me and lie on me.

-= pick-up line humor =-= 307 =------------------------------------------------

Excuse me, miss, do you give head to strangers?
No.
Well, then, allow me to introduce myself.

-= pick-up line humor =-= 308 =------------------------------------------------

Chicks dig me. I wear colored underwear.

-= pick-up line humor =-= 309 =------------------------------------------------

You aren't wearing underwear, are you?

-= pick-up line humor =-= 310 =------------------------------------------------

Excuse me, is it true that you're a sexual tyrannosaurus?

-= pick-up line humor =-= 311 =------------------------------------------------

I'm a co-pilot for American Airlines.

-= pick-up line humor =-= 312 =------------------------------------------------

Hi, I make more money than you can spend.

-= pick-up line humor =-= 313 =------------------------------------------------

Excuse me, do you have change for a $100 bill?

-= pick-up line humor =-= 314 =------------------------------------------------

When is our wedding date?

-= pick-up line humor =-= 315 =------------------------------------------------

Wouldn't we look cute on a wedding cake together?

-= pick-up line humor =-= 316 =------------------------------------------------

Will you marry me for just one night?

-= pick-up line humor =-= 317 =------------------------------------------------

Lines by women:
Please may I rest my head on your shoulder?
Do you know how to use this? (holding up a vibrator)
How about a night of passion in Doncaster?

-= pick-up line humor =-= 318 =------------------------------------------------

He: What was that?
She: What was what?
He: That sound.
She: I didn't hear anything.
He: It was the sound of my heart breaking.

-= pick-up line humor =-= 319 =------------------------------------------------

Excuse me, can you give me directions?
To where?
To your heart.

-= pick-up line humor =-= 320 =------------------------------------------------

Inheriting eighty million bucks doesn't mean much when you have a weak heart.

-= pick-up line humor =-= 321 =------------------------------------------------

I can raise your blood pressure.

-= pick-up line humor =-= 322 =------------------------------------------------

I'm an organ donor, need anything?

-= pick-up line humor =-= 323 =------------------------------------------------

You've got the whitest teeth I've ever come across.

-= pick-up line humor =-= 324 =------------------------------------------------

Excuse me, but I couldn't help but notice that you have a very sexy overbite.

-= pick-up line humor =-= 325 =------------------------------------------------

Weren't you a woman the last time we met?

-= pick-up line humor =-= 326 =------------------------------------------------

Do you have room in your life for a new friend?

-= pick-up line humor =-= 327 =------------------------------------------------

Excuse me, do you think we might possibly have a mutual friend who could
introduce us.

-= pick-up line humor =-= 328 =------------------------------------------------

The only reason that I would kick you out of bed would be to fuck you on the
floor.

-= pick-up line humor =-= 329 =------------------------------------------------

Hey baby, I want to lick your thighs.

-= pick-up line humor =-= 330 =------------------------------------------------

Hey, baby, wanna lock crotches and swap gravy?

-= pick-up line humor =-= 331 =------------------------------------------------

Gorgeous hair. But it'd be even better brushing against my thighs.

-= pick-up line humor =-= 332 =------------------------------------------------

Approach a girl and say, "Do you like jewels."
Then lob your dick out and say, "Suck this, it's a gem!

Or do you like chicken? Suck this, it's pretty foul!

Or do you like pork? Suck this, it's dripping!"

-= pick-up line humor =-= 333 =------------------------------------------------

What nice legs you've got. I wouldn't mind wearing them as a belt, or neck tie
if you prefer.

-= pick-up line humor =-= 334 =------------------------------------------------

Just where do those legs of yours end?

-= pick-up line humor =-= 335 =------------------------------------------------

Are your legs tired because you've been running through my mind all day?

-= pick-up line humor =-= 336 =------------------------------------------------

Nice socks. Can I try them on after we have sex?

-= pick-up line humor =-= 337 =------------------------------------------------

I'd gladly give up my celibacy/virginity to be with you.

-= pick-up line humor =-= 338 =------------------------------------------------

I know there are thousands of perfect guys out there in the world, but only
three of us don't watch football.

-= pick-up line humor =-= 339 =------------------------------------------------

Uh, oh. My parents met at a place like this. Let's get the hell out of here.

-= pick-up line humor =-= 340 =------------------------------------------------

What is a classy place like this doing around a girl like you?

-= pick-up line humor =-= 341 =------------------------------------------------

As long as I have a face, you'll have a place to sit.

-= pick-up line humor =-= 342 =------------------------------------------------

Female to guy: Hi, you look like a real wanker. (pause for effect)

The guys usually spend so much time trying to convince you that they're not a
"wanker" (that ego thingy) that in the end, they are trying to pick *you* up!
A snake charmer!

-= pick-up line humor =-= 343 =------------------------------------------------

Want a break tonight?

-= pick-up line humor =-= 344 =------------------------------------------------

You're the spitting image of my dead girlfriend.

-= pick-up line humor =-= 345 =------------------------------------------------

My leech would like you as a new host.

-= pick-up line humor =-= 346 =------------------------------------------------

I think my medication is wearing off.

-= pick-up line humor =-= 347 =------------------------------------------------

You MUST have a nice personality.

-= pick-up line humor =-= 348 =------------------------------------------------

Does my breath smell okay?

-= pick-up line humor =-= 349 =------------------------------------------------

Pull my finger.

-= pick-up line humor =-= 350 =------------------------------------------------

He: You look like my third wife.
She: Oh, how many time have you been married?
He: Twice.

-= pick-up line humor =-= 351 =------------------------------------------------

Hi, my name's Ron, how do you like me so far?

-= pick-up line humor =-= 352 =------------------------------------------------

Hi, my name's Dave. Remember it, you'll be screaming it later tonight!

-= pick-up line humor =-= 353 =------------------------------------------------

Guy: What's your name?
Girl: Danielle
Guy: Oh... I thought it was Aphrodite.

-= pick-up line humor =-= 354 =------------------------------------------------

My name is Jeffrey Dahmer and you would make a fine dessert.

-= pick-up line humor =-= 355 =------------------------------------------------

Italian girl: My name is Tomassina. Call me Tom for short.
He: Right. Call me Huck.

-= pick-up line humor =-= 356 =------------------------------------------------

My name is Jeffrey, but you can call me anything at all. Just call me.

-= pick-up line humor =-= 357 =------------------------------------------------

Hello, my name is Grimm. Fancy a bed-side story?

-= pick-up line humor =-= 358 =------------------------------------------------

My name is Steve, but you can call me tonight.

-= pick-up line humor =-= 359 =------------------------------------------------

Hi, my friend wants to know what your name is.

-= pick-up line humor =-= 360 =------------------------------------------------

Perhaps use this line at a business dinner on someone whom you've been eyeing
since this afternoon at the business meetings...

Let's talk about 'early retirement.'

-= pick-up line humor =-= 361 =------------------------------------------------

If I could be anything, I'd love to be your bathwater (or body lotion).

-= pick-up line humor =-= 362 =------------------------------------------------

I'd love to be a bar of soap in your shower.

-= pick-up line humor =-= 363 =------------------------------------------------

I'd love to be the sod under your feet.

-= pick-up line humor =-= 364 =------------------------------------------------

I love every bone in your body. Especially mine!
or
I love every muscle in your body. Especially mine!

-= pick-up line humor =-= 365 =------------------------------------------------

There is much more here than what meets the eye.

-= pick-up line humor =-= 366 =------------------------------------------------

You are the reason men fall in love.

-= pick-up line humor =-= 367 =------------------------------------------------

I was, am, and will forever be crazy about you.

-= pick-up line humor =-= 368 =------------------------------------------------

I bet I could guess your weight if you sat on my face.

-= pick-up line humor =-= 369 =------------------------------------------------

Wanna play carnival? That's where you sit on my face and I try to guess your
weight.

-= pick-up line humor =-= 370 =------------------------------------------------

Sit on my face and let me get to nose you better!

-= pick-up line humor =-= 371 =------------------------------------------------

Ohhh, what a man...I bet you do real well with the ladies.

-= pick-up line humor =-= 372 =------------------------------------------------

Nothing like a man who knows how to whisper sweet "nothings".

-= pick-up line humor =-= 373 =------------------------------------------------

I just had to come talk with you. Sweetness is my weakness.

-= pick-up line humor =-= 374 =------------------------------------------------

You're so sweet, you're gonna put sugar out of business.

-= pick-up line humor =-= 375 =------------------------------------------------

You're so sweet, you're giving me a toothache.

-= pick-up line humor =-= 376 =------------------------------------------------

How much do you weigh, Debbie? C'mere, pull up a seat!

-= pick-up line humor =-= 377 =------------------------------------------------

Are you free tonight or will it cost me?

-= pick-up line humor =-= 378 =------------------------------------------------

Got a soggy bun for a lonely weenie?

-= pick-up line humor =-= 379 =------------------------------------------------

Hey, come here often? You could, with me.

-= pick-up line humor =-= 380 =------------------------------------------------

You know, you might be asked to leave soon. You're making the other women (or
men) look really bad.

-= pick-up line humor =-= 381 =------------------------------------------------

I'm new in town. Could you give me directions to your apartment?

-= pick-up line humor =-= 382 =------------------------------------------------

Spoken with a fake foreign accent:

Hi, I'm new to this country and you are the prettiest sight I've see so far.
Can you give me a tour of your body?

-= pick-up line humor =-= 383 =------------------------------------------------

How about a pizza and a fuck? Hey!!! Don't you like pizza?

-= pick-up line humor =-= 384 =------------------------------------------------

Want to go get a pizza and then screw?

-= pick-up line humor =-= 385 =------------------------------------------------

He: Hey! How about we go to my house, have some pizza, beer, and a fuck?
She: (grimaces)
He: What's the matter? Don't like pizza?

-= pick-up line humor =-= 386 =------------------------------------------------

He: Hi, what's the color of your hair?
She: (tells him)
He: And the hair on your head?

-= pick-up line humor =-= 387 =------------------------------------------------

He: Excuse me, want to dance?
She: No.
He: Maybe you didn't hear me... I said you look really fat in those pants!

-= pick-up line humor =-= 388 =------------------------------------------------

Gee...you sure don't perspire much!

-= pick-up line humor =-= 389 =------------------------------------------------

I'm sensing the intense feeling you have for me...is it my cologne?
or
I'm sensing the intense feeling you have for me...is it my deodorant?

-= pick-up line humor =-= 390 =------------------------------------------------

You're the one I've been saving this drink/seat/ticket to Hawaii/whatever for.

-= pick-up line humor =-= 391 =------------------------------------------------

Are you the one?

-= pick-up line humor =-= 392 =------------------------------------------------

Is your dad a baker?
No.
If not, where did you get those buns?

-= pick-up line humor =-= 393 =------------------------------------------------

Oh no, I'm choking! I need mouth to mouth, quick!

-= pick-up line humor =-= 394 =------------------------------------------------

Oh excuse me! I thought you were a moose.

-= pick-up line humor =-= 395 =------------------------------------------------

Ya know, if we cut your arms off, you'd look just like Venus de Milo.

-= pick-up line humor =-= 396 =------------------------------------------------

In a restaurant:

Mmmm, this [food item] is delicious...but nothing would ever taste as good as
you look...or as you taste.

-= pick-up line humor =-= 397 =------------------------------------------------

In a restaurant:

This menu looks good, but you're the most delicious thing here.

-= pick-up line humor =-= 398 =------------------------------------------------

Do you always eat like that?

-= pick-up line humor =-= 399 =------------------------------------------------

My god, Darwin was right! You have got the fittest body I've ever seen!

-= pick-up line humor =-= 400 =------------------------------------------------

Your body is like a haiku in motion.

-= pick-up line humor =-= 401 =------------------------------------------------

The better the batter, the better the butter.

-= pick-up line humor =-= 402 =------------------------------------------------

You know, I'm not just an interesting person, I have a nice body, too.

-= pick-up line humor =-= 403 =------------------------------------------------

What's a slut like you doing in a classy joint like this??

-= pick-up line humor =-= 404 =------------------------------------------------

Hi, are those really yours?

-= pick-up line humor =-= 405 =------------------------------------------------

Did you hurt yourself when you fell from heaven?

-= pick-up line humor =-= 406 =------------------------------------------------

Look at the tag on the back of a girl's shirt. When she turns around, say,
"Just checking to see if you were made in heaven."

-= pick-up line humor =-= 407 =------------------------------------------------

What time do you have to be back in heaven?

-= pick-up line humor =-= 408 =------------------------------------------------

So...what part of heaven are you from?

-= pick-up line humor =-= 409 =------------------------------------------------

I must be in heaven, because you're an angel.

-= pick-up line humor =-= 410 =------------------------------------------------

You look like an angel. Welcome to Earth.

-= pick-up line humor =-= 411 =------------------------------------------------

A man approached me at a bar and asked me if my feet hurt. I looked at him
strangely and said, "No, why." He replied, "because you are obviously an angel
who has just descended onto this earth and you are used to flying, and not
walking"

OH PLEASE!!! (It didn't work)

-= pick-up line humor =-= 412 =------------------------------------------------

I'd like to know the ingredients in the recipe that cooked you up...after I've
had a good taste of you, of course.

-= pick-up line humor =-= 413 =------------------------------------------------

What screws like a tiger and winks? (follow it up with a wink)

-= pick-up line humor =-= 414 =------------------------------------------------

Screw me if I am wrong, but you want to fuck me, don't you?
or
Fuck me if I am wrong, but haven't we met before?
or
Fuck me if I am wrong, but your name is Gertrude right?
or
Fuck me if I am wrong, but you look like you want to kiss me.

-= pick-up line humor =-= 415 =------------------------------------------------

I've got a pimple on my butt, wanna see it?

-= pick-up line humor =-= 416 =------------------------------------------------

You make my softwear turn to hardwear!

-= pick-up line humor =-= 417 =------------------------------------------------

I'm fighting the urge to make you the happiest woman on earth tonight.

-= pick-up line humor =-= 418 =------------------------------------------------

He: 'Ello Darlin', fancy a fuck?
She: No!
He: Do you mind lying down while I do?

-= pick-up line humor =-= 419 =------------------------------------------------

I would say that I'm in love with you, but you'd think I'm trying to pull a fast
one.

-= pick-up line humor =-= 420 =------------------------------------------------

Laugh if you will, but this one did actually work, when I tried it on a girl
after a night of countless failures:

Hi, I just wanted to give you the satisfaction of turning me down; go ahead
say no.

-= pick-up line humor =-= 421 =------------------------------------------------

Turn to the girl sitting next to you at the bar and say, "I'm not really this
tall...I'm sitting on my wallet."

-= pick-up line humor =-= 422 =------------------------------------------------

May I have the distinguished honor and privilege of sitting next to you?

-= pick-up line humor =-= 423 =------------------------------------------------

I'm trying to determine after years of therapy and lots of testing, whether or
not I'm allergic to sex.

-= pick-up line humor =-= 424 =------------------------------------------------

He: You're gorgeous. I'd really love to invite you out sometime.
She: No, thanks.
She: Aw, c'mon! Lower you're standards a little. *I* did...
Gal: [SLAP!]
He: I guess a blow job is out of the question, then?

-= pick-up line humor =-= 425 =------------------------------------------------

Always take a screw with you and put it in your pocket.
Then, when a girl comes up to you, offer her the screw and say, "Wanna screw?"

-= pick-up line humor =-= 426 =------------------------------------------------

Guy walks up to a girl in bar, slides his arm around her. She looks at him as
he says, "Hi Kate." She says, "I'm not Kate." His hand slips lower as he says,
"But you sure feel like her."

-= pick-up line humor =-= 427 =------------------------------------------------

Hey baby are you wearing your space underwear tonight? Because your ass is out
of this world!

-= pick-up line humor =-= 428 =------------------------------------------------

I had a wet dream about you last night. Would you like to make it a reality?

-= pick-up line humor =-= 429 =------------------------------------------------

You look familiar. Aren't you that girl that keeps appearing in my dreams?

-= pick-up line humor =-= 430 =------------------------------------------------

So there you are! I've been looking all over for YOU, the girl of my dreams!

-= pick-up line humor =-= 431 =------------------------------------------------

What's your name, so I'll know who I'll be dreaming about tonight?

-= pick-up line humor =-= 432 =------------------------------------------------

Excuse me, do you have a quarter I can borrow?
What for?
I told my mother that I would call her when I fell in love with the girl of my
dreams!
or
I want to call your mother and thank her for having such a gorgeous child!

-= pick-up line humor =-= 433 =------------------------------------------------

Hi, I need your help! My mom says that if I don't get a date by tomorrow, she's
putting me up for adoption.

-= pick-up line humor =-= 434 =------------------------------------------------

You know, my mother says you have the smoothest complexion of anyone she knows.

-= pick-up line humor =-= 435 =------------------------------------------------

You look just like my mother.

-= pick-up line humor =-= 436 =------------------------------------------------

Ya know, my mother would just *love* you if I brought you to my place tonight
and then to her place tomorrow.

-= pick-up line humor =-= 437 =------------------------------------------------

You make me melt like hot fudge on a sundae.

-= pick-up line humor =-= 438 =------------------------------------------------

Looking at you makes my hospital beeper start to vibrate.

-= pick-up line humor =-= 439 =------------------------------------------------

I want to melt in your mouth, not in your hand.

-= pick-up line humor =-= 440 =------------------------------------------------

Boy, it sure is hot and stuffy in here. Would you like to take a cold shower?

-= pick-up line humor =-= 441 =------------------------------------------------

You are hot stuff!

-= pick-up line humor =-= 442 =------------------------------------------------

Is it hot in here, or is it just you?

-= pick-up line humor =-= 443 =------------------------------------------------

Is there a fire in here or we just standing too close together?

-= pick-up line humor =-= 444 =------------------------------------------------

Was that you, or did the earth just move?

-= pick-up line humor =-= 445 =------------------------------------------------

Is it cold outside, or are you just smuggling tic-tacs?

-= pick-up line humor =-= 446 =------------------------------------------------

You're so hot you melt the plastic in my underwear.

-= pick-up line humor =-= 447 =------------------------------------------------

You're so hot you give me the chills.

-= pick-up line humor =-= 448 =------------------------------------------------

You're hotter than Georgia asphalt on a summer day in hell!

-= pick-up line humor =-= 449 =------------------------------------------------

It's not the heat outside, it's not the humidity, it's you!

-= pick-up line humor =-= 450 =------------------------------------------------

Ya know, you look really *hot*! You must be real reason for global warming.

-= pick-up line humor =-= 451 =------------------------------------------------

So, what do you do for a living besides always making all the men/women excited
and warm all over?

-= pick-up line humor =-= 452 =------------------------------------------------

You remind me of bacon, the way you sizzle.

-= pick-up line humor =-= 453 =------------------------------------------------

Didn't I see you on the cover of Vogue/G.Q.?

-= pick-up line humor =-= 454 =------------------------------------------------

Didn't I see you in the latest beauty pageant?

-= pick-up line humor =-= 455 =------------------------------------------------

So how many years in a row were you the beauty queen?

-= pick-up line humor =-= 456 =------------------------------------------------

So, how will I ever get to see you again?

-= pick-up line humor =-= 457 =------------------------------------------------

Is is possible that me might see each other again soon?

-= pick-up line humor =-= 458 =------------------------------------------------

Grab them in the rump and ask, "Pardon me, is this seat taken?"

(I did that in bed last week, and she said, "Yeah, I'm sitting on it." Okay, so
it doesn't work 100% of the time)

-= pick-up line humor =-= 459 =------------------------------------------------

I'm no good at opening lines so why don't we pretend we know each other.

-= pick-up line humor =-= 460 =------------------------------------------------

Hi. Do you come here often? (Say it to a waitress that you find attractive.)

-= pick-up line humor =-= 461 =------------------------------------------------

Do you have a mirror in your pocket?
No, why?
Because I can sure see myself in your pants!

-= pick-up line humor =-= 462 =------------------------------------------------

Did you clean your pants with Windex?
No, why?
I can practically see myself in them.

-= pick-up line humor =-= 463 =------------------------------------------------

Was your father a welder?
No, why?
Because those sure are acetylene tits!

-= pick-up line humor =-= 464 =------------------------------------------------

Was you father an alien?
No, why?
Because there's nothing else like you on earth!

-= pick-up line humor =-= 465 =------------------------------------------------

Which is easier? Getting into those tight pants or getting out of them?

-= pick-up line humor =-= 466 =------------------------------------------------

Said to someone wearing really tight pants or jeans:

Excuse me, but I couldn't help wondering...how does one get into pants so tight?

-= pick-up line humor =-= 467 =------------------------------------------------

I was walking down a street and a man stopped his car and said, "I think you
would look especially beautiful with your eyes closed (dramatic pause) in my
bed"

-= pick-up line humor =-= 468 =------------------------------------------------

Once someone said to me, "You have such beautiful long blonde hair, it would
look lovely spread across my pillow."

-= pick-up line humor =-= 469 =------------------------------------------------

Do you know that your hair and my pillow are perfectly color-coordinated?

-= pick-up line humor =-= 470 =------------------------------------------------

I've been noticing you not noticing me.

-= pick-up line humor =-= 471 =------------------------------------------------

Did I just notice you checking me out, or did my ego flare up again?

-= pick-up line humor =-= 472 =------------------------------------------------

Are you cold? You should be; you've been naked in my mind all night.

-= pick-up line humor =-= 473 =------------------------------------------------

That's enough of undressing me with your eyes. Let's get out of here.

-= pick-up line humor =-= 474 =------------------------------------------------

Ever played leap frog naked?

-= pick-up line humor =-= 475 =------------------------------------------------

Would you like to see me naked?

-= pick-up line humor =-= 476 =------------------------------------------------

Let's bypass all the bullshit and just get naked.

-= pick-up line humor =-= 477 =------------------------------------------------

If you think that's funny, you should see me naked.

-= pick-up line humor =-= 478 =------------------------------------------------

Nice day for weather.

-= pick-up line humor =-= 479 =------------------------------------------------

Would you be my love buffet? So I can lay you out on the table and take what I
want?

-= pick-up line humor =-= 480 =------------------------------------------------

Have you ever eaten out at a buffet?
How about you lie down on the table and let me show you how.

-= pick-up line humor =-= 481 =------------------------------------------------

Can I flirt with you?

-= pick-up line humor =-= 482 =------------------------------------------------

All those curves, and me with no brakes.

-= pick-up line humor =-= 483 =------------------------------------------------

It must be cold where you're standing, but it's 98.6 right over here.

-= pick-up line humor =-= 484 =------------------------------------------------

I'm the kind of man who deserves to have women I don't deserve.

-= pick-up line humor =-= 485 =------------------------------------------------

So... How am I doin'?

-= pick-up line humor =-= 486 =------------------------------------------------

(Tap your thigh) You just think this is my leg.

-= pick-up line humor =-= 487 =------------------------------------------------

Top Ten Pick-Up Lines From The American Revolution

10. Hey, baby, my musket's loaded. Got a target?
9. Hey, baby, wanna play "Paul Revere" and ride my pony?
8. Hey, baby, I'm Thomas Paine.
7. I got your "Sovereign Nation."
6. You're suspected for sedition, so I've gotta pump you for information.
5. The British are coming, so why ain't we?
4. I'm into life, liberty, and the pursuit of a good piece of ass.
3. Wanna get tarred and feathered?
2. Who needs liberty when you've got libido?
1. You wanna Minute Man?

-= pick-up line humor =-= 488 =------------------------------------------------

Top Ten Sleaziest Pick-up Lines

10. Like the look of your crotch.
9. I'd like to name a multiple orgasm after you.
8. I've got a condom with your name on it.
7. Hi, I'm a tawdry slut looking for a good time.
6. Can you believe it? It's been more than fifteen minutes since I've had sex.
5. My friend and I made a bet and I need to check if those are implants.
4. I know a charming little motel with a cheap hourly rate.
3. I'd love to swap bodily fluids with you.
2. Erections like these don't grow on trees you know.
1. You know, doggy-style isn't passe anymore.

-= pick-up line humor =-= 489 =------------------------------------------------

Heard while on spring break:
You know, I'd fuck you so hard you'd learn from it.

-= pick-up line humor =-= 490 =------------------------------------------------

Another spring break try:
Hypothetically speaking, if I were to fuck you, would you let me?

-= pick-up line humor =-= 491 =------------------------------------------------

Say, I hear chicks dig lava lamps...

-= pick-up line humor =-= 492 =------------------------------------------------

She: What do you do for a living?
He: I'm a starving artist and I want to eat you.

-= pick-up line humor =-= 493 =------------------------------------------------

A: You are a real social butterfly.
B: Huh. More like, a caterpillar.
A: Well, wanna get to the fertility stage?

-= pick-up line humor =-= 494 =------------------------------------------------

You are the proof that God has a sense of humor.

-= pick-up line humor =-= 495 =------------------------------------------------

You're what God was thinking of when He said, "Let there be woman."

-= pick-up line humor =-= 496 =------------------------------------------------

I'll make you see God tonight!

-= pick-up line humor =-= 497 =------------------------------------------------

I'm a math major. What's your cosine?

-= pick-up line humor =-= 498 =------------------------------------------------

Don't ever try this.

Me: So...what do you study?
She: Genetics. Breeding different animals and such.
Me: Like, humans and chimpanzees?
She: Yes (Cozying up to another guy) Bobby here was my first subject.
Me: I see. So...who is the human and who is the chimpanzee?

-= pick-up line humor =-= 499 =------------------------------------------------

(I enter an open party at the home of an attractive girl)

She: You look sharp
Me: Justifiably so. When arriving at the altar of the goddess, one needs to be
in his best attire.

-= pick-up line humor =-= 500 =------------------------------------------------

What do you do for a living, and how can I be of help?

-= pick-up line humor =-= 501 =------------------------------------------------

I am playing with your mind like you have been playing with my hormones.

-= pick-up line humor =-= 502 =------------------------------------------------

I bet I can tell you what's on my mind.

-= pick-up line humor =-= 503 =------------------------------------------------

While submerging a lit cigarette lighter inside his mouth, approach an exquisite
young lady with the following: Guess for whom this fire inside me burns?

-= pick-up line humor =-= 504 =------------------------------------------------

I was sitting here holding my cigarette when I realised I'd rather be holding
you.

-= pick-up line humor =-= 505 =------------------------------------------------

Can I light your fire, I mean cigarette?

-= pick-up line humor =-= 506 =------------------------------------------------

Yo. You'll do.

-= pick-up line humor =-= 507 =------------------------------------------------

She: Where are you from?
He: Mars, for all practical purposes. I gather you must come from Venus.
She: [disgustedly] No, I'm from Uranus.
He: Hmmm. Now that you're barking, I know that you come from Pluto.

-= pick-up line humor =-= 508 =------------------------------------------------

Gay guy: You got a nice mouth
Straight guy: Guess what the teeth are for...

-= pick-up line humor =-= 509 =------------------------------------------------

Are you as good as they say you are?

-= pick-up line humor =-= 510 =------------------------------------------------

Go ahead, make a pass at me. I dare ya!

-= pick-up line humor =-= 511 =------------------------------------------------

Baby, I got a backstage pass to your ass!

-= pick-up line humor =-= 512 =------------------------------------------------

Heard on the dance floor:

Do fries come with that shake of yours?

-= pick-up line humor =-= 513 =------------------------------------------------

You must be jam because jelly don't move like that!

-= pick-up line humor =-= 514 =------------------------------------------------

Take a chance on me.

-= pick-up line humor =-= 515 =------------------------------------------------

This is your lucky day, because I just happen to be single.

-= pick-up line humor =-= 516 =------------------------------------------------

You don't have to play the lottery to get lucky.

-= pick-up line humor =-= 517 =------------------------------------------------

He (going up to a girl in a bar): Hey, baby, wanna get lucky?
She: You guys are all alike; you've got your brains in your dick!
He: Then how would you like to really blow my mind?

-= pick-up line humor =-= 518 =------------------------------------------------

A friend of ours used this one night after work (around 10pm), when he walked
into a local Mexican restaurant which was empty. It did not get him a date
though... I have made it somewhat generic so to fit in the list:

If you happen to walk into an empty restaurant, with a waitress that obviously
doesn't want to be working,
Ask: Are you open?
Waitress: Yes.
Ask: I can walk out if you promise me a date.

-= pick-up line humor =-= 519 =------------------------------------------------

Hey, darling, can I use your g-string to floss with?

-= pick-up line humor =-= 520 =------------------------------------------------

I wanna floss with your pubic hair.

-= pick-up line humor =-= 521 =------------------------------------------------

How would you like to get something off your chest tonight?

-= pick-up line humor =-= 522 =------------------------------------------------

Sid the Sexist was once heard to say, Let me tear down the gates of your love
palace with my purple battering ram.

-= pick-up line humor =-= 523 =------------------------------------------------

Live around here often?

-= pick-up line humor =-= 524 =------------------------------------------------

Wanna lock crotches and swap gravy?

-= pick-up line humor =-= 525 =------------------------------------------------

Have you ever seen a giant sequoia?

-= pick-up line humor =-= 526 =------------------------------------------------

I've never done this before but I feel like we were meant for each other.

-= pick-up line humor =-= 527 =------------------------------------------------

Your aura tells me you're a sensual person.

-= pick-up line humor =-= 528 =------------------------------------------------

Do you hula?

-= pick-up line humor =-= 529 =------------------------------------------------

I'll bet you ten bucks I could get all your clothes off in 30 seconds.

-= pick-up line humor =-= 530 =------------------------------------------------

Since we shouldn't waste this day and age, what you say we use these condoms in
my pocket before they expire?

-= pick-up line humor =-= 531 =------------------------------------------------

I'm fit to be tied and good enough to eat off of...and caressed..and kissed...

-= pick-up line humor =-= 532 =------------------------------------------------

Anything drugs can do, I can do with my tongue!

-= pick-up line humor =-= 533 =------------------------------------------------

Either way, I'm going to have you tonight, so you might as well be there.

-= pick-up line humor =-= 534 =------------------------------------------------

Excuse me, do you believe in love at first sight or do I have to walk past you
again?

-= pick-up line humor =-= 535 =------------------------------------------------

Hello Susie, your mummy couldn't make it this afternoon. She asked me to pick
you up and take you home. My, that's a pretty dress. I'm really sorry about
Al. It was a lovely funeral. You look ravishing in black, did you know that?
What you need now is a nice back rub. Are the straps too tight darling? How
very, very tragic.

-= pick-up line humor =-= 536 =------------------------------------------------

I'm single!

-= pick-up line humor =-= 537 =------------------------------------------------

Hi, I'm a flight steward.

-= pick-up line humor =-= 538 =------------------------------------------------

I'm not trying to pressure you. I don't want to have sex without mutual
consent; oh and by the way, you have my consent.

-= pick-up line humor =-= 539 =------------------------------------------------

I'm sure you didn't mean to turn me on with your big tits, but it's too late
now!

-= pick-up line humor =-= 540 =------------------------------------------------

I think I'm falling in love with you. Now do you want to fuck?

-= pick-up line humor =-= 541 =------------------------------------------------

I haven't seen you in a while, you sure look different without my dick in your
mouth.

-= pick-up line humor =-= 542 =------------------------------------------------

I'm going to be honest with you. I'm rich, I'm sensitive, I love new adventures,
and I'm hung like a horse.

-= pick-up line humor =-= 543 =------------------------------------------------

I'm very rich, ya know. Let's get to it! Do you believe in sex before marriage?

-= pick-up line humor =-= 544 =------------------------------------------------

I hope you don't mind my asking, but do you mind if I touched your @#^&%!?

-= pick-up line humor =-= 545 =------------------------------------------------

Blacks are born with rhythm.

-= pick-up line humor =-= 546 =------------------------------------------------

I suck better than Electrolux.

-= pick-up line humor =-= 547 =------------------------------------------------

You know what I like about you? My arms.

-= pick-up line humor =-= 548 =------------------------------------------------

If you were a tear in my eye, I would not cry for fear of losing you.

-= pick-up line humor =-= 549 =------------------------------------------------

I know this is going to sound like a line, but did that sound like a line? Are
you disappointed?

-= pick-up line humor =-= 550 =------------------------------------------------

Are you religious?
Yes.
Good, because I'm the answer to your prayers.

-= pick-up line humor =-= 551 =------------------------------------------------

Do you like short love affairs? I hate them. I've got all weekend.

-= pick-up line humor =-= 552 =------------------------------------------------

Come on baby, light my fire.

-= pick-up line humor =-= 553 =------------------------------------------------

Hey honey, aren't you feeling well? I've got just what you need... A hot salami
injection! (This one came complete with vulgar gestures, and yes, got slapped.)

-= pick-up line humor =-= 554 =------------------------------------------------

Do you have a boyfriend? Well, when you want a manfriend, come and talk to me!

-= pick-up line humor =-= 555 =------------------------------------------------

You look like you need a *real* man!

-= pick-up line humor =-= 556 =------------------------------------------------

When you need a hug or just someone to talk to, I'll always be there for you.

-= pick-up line humor =-= 557 =------------------------------------------------

You've got nice breasts, but are your nipples brown or pink?

-= pick-up line humor =-= 558 =------------------------------------------------

I need your help. I must expel some seminal fluid. May I use your body?

-= pick-up line humor =-= 559 =------------------------------------------------

Here's what you've been looking for all your life!

-= pick-up line humor =-= 560 =------------------------------------------------

I've been waiting all my life for someone like you.

-= pick-up line humor =-= 561 =------------------------------------------------

They say size doesn't matter... After tonight, it will.

-= pick-up line humor =-= 562 =------------------------------------------------

Hey, I like your shirt. It's very becoming on you. Of course, if I was on you,
I'd be coming, too.

-= pick-up line humor =-= 563 =------------------------------------------------

I'd gladly give you the shirt off my back, if you'd take the rest of me with it.

-= pick-up line humor =-= 564 =------------------------------------------------

Let's play army. I'll go lay down and you can blow the hell out of me.

-= pick-up line humor =-= 565 =------------------------------------------------

Can you come out and play tonight?

-= pick-up line humor =-= 566 =------------------------------------------------

If your parents hadn't met, I'd be a very unhappy man right now.

-= pick-up line humor =-= 567 =------------------------------------------------

I feel like Richard Gere, standing here next to you, the Pretty Woman.

-= pick-up line humor =-= 568 =------------------------------------------------

Sorry, I thought you were someone else. By the way, here's my card.

-= pick-up line humor =-= 569 =------------------------------------------------

How did you acheive such a gaudy effect with only Avon cosmetics?

-= pick-up line humor =-= 570 =------------------------------------------------

I'm just a caraway/poppy/sesame seed in the bakery of life.

-= pick-up line humor =-= 571 =------------------------------------------------

You're ugly, but you interest me.

-= pick-up line humor =-= 572 =------------------------------------------------

Do you believe in one night stands?

-= pick-up line humor =-= 573 =------------------------------------------------

With one touch I can make you make noise only dogs can hear!

-= pick-up line humor =-= 574 =------------------------------------------------

Free mammograms, get your free mammograms here! Get them while they're hot!

-= pick-up line humor =-= 575 =------------------------------------------------

If I were to ask you for sex, would your answer be the same as the answer to
this question?

-= pick-up line humor =-= 576 =------------------------------------------------

Hi, I'm conducting a feel test of how many women have pierced nipples.

-= pick-up line humor =-= 577 =------------------------------------------------

I thought women like you traveled in packs.

-= pick-up line humor =-= 578 =------------------------------------------------

I don't look like much now, but I'm drinking milk.

-= pick-up line humor =-= 579 =------------------------------------------------

I like women's milk, especially the package.

-= pick-up line humor =-= 580 =------------------------------------------------

So, when do you think we'll go metric?
(Let a reply come.)
When do you think we'll get horizontal?

-= pick-up line humor =-= 581 =------------------------------------------------

On-line Pickup Lines

Do you communicate interactively here often?
Hard DISK??! Gee, lady, I'm sorry, I guess I misunderstood you.
I can catch your eel with my inter-net.
I can put a big grin on your inter-face.
I don't have any 3.5-inch floppies, I only have hard drives...very hard ones.
I like your hardware, you'll like my software. (female to male)
I like your software, you'll like my hardware. (male to female)
Could you be my hard disk drive?
Yo baby, I want your 69 meg.
You have the program to make my software into hardware?
You turn my system on.

-= pick-up line humor =-= 582 =------------------------------------------------

Overheard in our computer lab:

Just because your computers are incompatible, doesn't mean we are.

-= pick-up line humor =-= 583 =------------------------------------------------

Your laptop or mine?

-= pick-up line humor =-= 584 =------------------------------------------------

Pickup Lines For Mathematicians

Hey baby, How would you like to join me in some math? We'll add you and me,
subtract our clothes, divide your legs, and multiply!

-= pick-up line humor =-= 585 =------------------------------------------------

Hey baby! You look better than a new set of snow tires!!

-= pick-up line humor =-= 586 =------------------------------------------------

You look like the sun settin' on a waterfall in the spring time...and I want to
be your horizon.

-= pick-up line humor =-= 587 =------------------------------------------------

Where are you from?
That's okay, sex could cure you.

-= pick-up line humor =-= 588 =------------------------------------------------

Do you have any figs?
No.
Then, how about a date?

-= pick-up line humor =-= 589 =------------------------------------------------

How about a hot date?

-= pick-up line humor =-= 590 =------------------------------------------------

It's a jungle out there, so let me be your guide.

-= pick-up line humor =-= 591 =------------------------------------------------

How 'bout I slip into something a little more comfortable...like you, for
example.

-= pick-up line humor =-= 592 =------------------------------------------------

He: What do you say to a little oral sex?
She: That depends. Your face or mine?

-= pick-up line humor =-= 593 =------------------------------------------------

Let's make like a couple of ghosts and wear out some sheets.

-= pick-up line humor =-= 594 =------------------------------------------------

Your opportunity for total fulfillment has arrived.

-= pick-up line humor =-= 595 =------------------------------------------------

If you know s/he is a virgin:
Let's play Star Trek, so I can boldly go where no one has gone before.
or
Let's play Star Trek, so I can boldly cum where no one has cum before.

-= pick-up line humor =-= 596 =------------------------------------------------

I'd love to be the reason you don't get any sleep tonight.

-= pick-up line humor =-= 597 =------------------------------------------------

I'm not wearing a Wonderbra.

-= pick-up line humor =-= 598 =------------------------------------------------

How much do you make?

-= pick-up line humor =-= 599 =------------------------------------------------

Have you read the "Consenting Adults" personals this week?

-= pick-up line humor =-= 600 =------------------------------------------------

Had any good, hard prose lately?

-= pick-up line humor =-= 601 =------------------------------------------------

Wierd Pick-up Lines

I had a brochure in my pocket, but I lost it.
I have this perfect log that, if put in your fire place, will burn.
I killed a gopher with a stick once.
I'm sorry, but could you help me find my keys?
My longest nose hair was three inches wide.
The closest I ever came to surfing was a boogie board.
You look like three frogs jumping on an old, dead woman. Naked.

-= pick-up line humor =-= 602 =------------------------------------------------

How about you make like an electrical outlet and let me plug in.

-= pick-up line humor =-= 603 =------------------------------------------------

How about we swap saliva for a while?

-= pick-up line humor =-= 604 =------------------------------------------------

Could I interest you in a game of tonsil hockey.

-= pick-up line humor =-= 605 =------------------------------------------------

Man actually said this one night in a club:

Either we dance or go to bed.

-= pick-up line humor =-= 606 =------------------------------------------------

From Late Show with David Letterman; Thursday, February 2, 1995

Top Ten Hot Dog Vendor Pick Up Lines

[Presented by New York City hot dog vendors]

10. "I'm a hot dog vendor by day, a love machine by night."
9. "If you're not a health inspector, I'd like to get to know you better."
8. "I'm a close personal friend of Oscar Mayer."
7. "You smell like sauerkraut."
6. "When I think about you, I touch my hot dogs."
5. "May I put your change in your pocket for you?"
4. "Are you beautiful, or am I loopy on bus fumes?"
3. "Please, I beg you, I'm a very lonely man."
2. "I'll make you queen of the wieners."
1. "Kiss me and the dog is free."

[Music: "Pick up the Pieces" by the Average White Band]

-= pick-up line humor =-= 607 =------------------------------------------------

]NEW[

From Late Show with David Letterman; Friday, March 10, 1995

Top Ten Judge Ito Pickup Lines

10. "I'm gonna slap you with a love subpoena."
9. "Mind if I pull a Kato Kaelin and stay at your house?"
8. "I find you guilty, of being a babe!"
7. "Care for a guided tour of my robe?"
6. "I have something that I hope you'll find admissable."
5. "May I check your coat?" [Earlier in the broadcast, Dave had checked the
coat of a female audience member]
4. "How would you like to see my Exhibit A?"
3. "Ever since Rosa Lopez left, I've been awfully lonely."
2. "Would you mind checking my beard for ticks?"
1. "I'm Ito and you're neato!"

[Music: "Pick Up The Pieces" by the Average White Band]


================================================================================
== PICK-UP REBUTTAL HUMOR ======================================================
-= pick-up rebuttal humor =-= 1 =--------------------------------------------

A man walks up and says, "Haven't we met before?"
Say, "Yes, I'm [your name], the receptionist at the V.D. Clinic."

-= pick-up rebuttal humor =-= 2 =--------------------------------------------

In the department "nice turn downs" there's this one:
I'll have to think about that, thinking makes me tired, when I'm tired I want to
sleep, not make love, so let's not, okay?

-= pick-up rebuttal humor =-= 3 =--------------------------------------------

He: So, wanna go back to my place?
She: Well, I don't know. Will two people fit under a rock?

-= pick-up rebuttal humor =-= 4 =--------------------------------------------

He: I'd really like to get into your pants.
She: No thanks. There's already one asshole in there.

-= pick-up rebuttal humor =-= 5 =--------------------------------------------

The most memorable rebuttal to a turn down (used by the guy who used to live
across the hall from me in residence) when he asked a girl to dance and she
refused was:

Don't thank me, thank God somebody asked you. (In reply to No, thank you).

-= pick-up rebuttal humor =-= 6 =--------------------------------------------

He: I'd like to call you. What's your number?
She: It's in the phone book.
He: But I don't know your name.
She: That's in the phone book too.

-= pick-up rebuttal humor =-= 7 =--------------------------------------------

There's always Harlan Ellison's great failure:
Q: Wha'dya say to a little fuck?
A: Go away, little fuck.

-= pick-up rebuttal humor =-= 8 =--------------------------------------------

He: So what do you do for a living?
She: Female impersonator.

-= pick-up rebuttal humor =-= 9 =--------------------------------------------

He: You know, I'd really love to travel to exotic places with you.
She: (tries to ignore him)
He: You know what? I also love sex. What do you say to that?
She: Hmmm...you really love sex and travel?
He: (nods his head smiling)
She: Then go take a fuckin' hike!!!

-= pick-up rebuttal humor =-= 10 =--------------------------------------------

I like the line I once heard in a movie. This guy was trying to pick up this
girl, and she said to him, "Can you pound a railroad spike through a 2x4 with
your hard-on?" To which he merely shudders a negative. She says, "Well, a
girl's gotta have her standards."

-= pick-up rebuttal humor =-= 11 =--------------------------------------------

Voulez-vous vous coucher avec moi ce soir?
(Would you like to go to bed with me tonight?)

Je voudrais bien, mais je n'ai rien a porter.
(I would love to, but I have nothing to wear.)

-= pick-up rebuttal humor =-= 12 =--------------------------------------------

Q: What sign were you born under?
A: No Parking.

-= pick-up rebuttal humor =-= 13 =--------------------------------------------

A guy comes up to a girl and tells her some pick-up line. She grabs his crotch,
looks down at it, looks back at him, and says, "Sorry, I don't see any potential
here" and nonchalantly walks off.

-= pick-up rebuttal humor =-= 14 =--------------------------------------------

And here's one including the correct snappy return
He: How do you like your eggs in the morning?
She: Unfertilized.

-= pick-up rebuttal humor =-= 15 =--------------------------------------------

After hearing a pick-up line:
I like your approach, now let's see your departure.

-= pick-up rebuttal humor =-= 16 =--------------------------------------------

A girlfriend of mine once had a graying man in his 60's approach her in a club
while she was in college with the line, "Where have you been all my life?" She
took one glance at him and said, "For the first half of it, I wasn't even born
yet."

-= pick-up rebuttal humor =-= 17 =--------------------------------------------

A friend of mine came up with a very quick response over vacation. We were
walking down the street and I glanced at a girl who had just walked by. She
turned around and said to me, "What are you looking at?" My friend, walking
next to me came to the rescue, "He thought you were good looking, but he was
mistaken."

-= pick-up rebuttal humor =-= 18 =--------------------------------------------

Man: Come sit on my face!
Woman: Why? Is your nose longer than your dick?
Man: No, your cunt smells better than your breath!

-= pick-up rebuttal humor =-= 19 =--------------------------------------------

While at college, a few friends were discussing how their "passes" had been
rejected by the intended female receiver. One of the ladies explained how she
handled it once...

When the guy, obviously getting irritated, blurted out something like, "Hey,
come on, we're both here at this bar for the same reason!" She responded, "Yea!
Let's pick up come chicks!" He immediately blanched, and decided that maybe he
would look someplace else.

-= pick-up rebuttal humor =-= 20 =--------------------------------------------

The attractive young woman was sitting at the bar, alone, when the lounge
lizard made his move. "I'm here," he breathed huskily, "to fulfill your every
sexual fantasy."
The woman turned and looked at him. Her lips parted and she moistened them
with the tip of her tongue. She leaned toward him with her hands on her thighs,
and her eyes opened to the size of dinner plates. She paused just a second and
then delivered the crusher line, "You've got a large donkey or Doberman?"
The guy turned as green as his golf slacks and slipped away without a word.

-= pick-up rebuttal humor =-= 21 =--------------------------------------------

Sorry, I don't date outside my species.

-= pick-up rebuttal humor =-= 22 =--------------------------------------------

He: Hey, baby, if you come home with me, I can show you a really good time.
She: You know what your problem is? Your mouth is writing checks that your body
can't cash.