This is a bricklayer

This is a bricklayer's accident report that was printed in the
newsletter of the English equivalent of the Worker's Compensation Board:

Dear Sir,

   I am writing in response to your request for additional information
in Block #3 of the accident reporting form. I wrote "Poor Planning" as
the cause of my accident. You asked for a fuller explanation and I
trust the following details will be sufficient.

   I am a bricklayer by trade. On the day of the accident, I was
working alone on the roof of a new six-story building. When I completed
my work, I found I had some bricks left over which when weighed later
were found to weigh 240 pounds.

   Rather than carry the bricks down by hand, I decided to lower them in
a barrel by using a pulley which was attached to the side of the
building at the sixth floor.

   Securing the rope at ground level, I went up to the roof, swung the
barrel out and loaded the bricks into it. Then I went down and untied
the rope, holding it tightly to ensure a slow descent of the 240 pounds
of bricks. You will note on the accident reporting form that my weight
is 135 pounds.

   Due to my surprise at being jerked off the ground so suddenly, I lost
my presence of mind and forgot to let go of the rope. Needless to say,
I proceeded at a rapid rate up the side of the building.

   In the vicinity of the third floor, I met the barrel which was now
proceeding downward at an equally impressive speed. This explains the
fractured skull, minor abrasions, and the broken collarbone, as listed
in Section 3 of the accident reporting form.

   Slowed only slightly, I continued my rapid ascent, not stopping until
the fingers of my right hand were two knuckles deep into the pulley
which I mentioned in paragraph 2 of this correspondence. Fortunately by
this time I had regained my presence of mind and was able to hold
tightly to the rope, in spite of the excruciating pain I was now
beginning to experience.

   At approxiately the same time, however, the barrel of bricks hit the
ground, and the bottom fell out of the barrel. Now devoid of the weight
of the bricks, the barrel weighed approximately 50 pounds. I refer you
again to my weight. As you might imagine, I began a rapid descent down
the side of the building. In the vicinity of the third floor, I met the
barrel coming up. This accounts for the two fractured ankles, broken
tooth and severe lacerations of my legs and lower body.

   Here my luck began to change slightly. The encounter with the barrel
seemed to slow me enough to lessen my injuries when I fell into the pile
of bricks and fortunately only three vertebrae were cracked. I am sorry
to report, however, as I lay there on the pile of bricks, in pain,
unable to move and watching the empty barrel six stories above me, I
again lost my composure and presence of mind and let go of the rope.