Signs of the Times

In the front yard of a funeral home, "Drive carefully, we'll wait."
On an electrician's truck, "Let us remove your shorts."
Outside a radiator repair shop, "Best place in town to take a leak."
On a maternity room door, "Push, Push, Push."
On a taxidermist's window, "We really know our stuff."
On a butcher's window, "Let me meat your needs."
On a fence, "Salesmen welcome. Dog food is expensive."
On a muffler shop, "No appointment necessary. We'll hear you coming."
In a dry cleaner's emporium, "Drop your pants here."
On a desk in a reception room, "We shoot every 3rd salesman,
and the 2nd one just left."
In a veterinarian's waiting room, "Be back in 5 minutes. Sit! Stay!"
In a Beauty Shop, "Dye now!"
In a restaurant window, "Don't stand there and be hungry,
come in and get fed up."
In a cafeteria, "Shoes are required to eat in the cafeteria.
Socks can eat any place they want."