GOLDFISH SHOALS NIBBLING AT MY TOES...

...or, all the fish you (n)ever wondered about in Red Dwarf.

With thanks to Nadine SFWBWWWW, for making us all think of fish rather more than is probably healthy; Tom Marwede, for thinking this list was a good idea and encouraging me (so I guess it's all his fault); and Oliver Corrigan, for providing a better title than the one I'd originally thought of. And thanks Grant Naylor, for being *so* piscinely-inclined! :-)

This document covers the six series of the TV show, plus the three novels and the Red Dwarf Log No. 1996. There are two sections to the list --

Statistics:
The total number of independent fishy references, broken down by episode and book.
Fresh Fish:
The actual fishy references, by category for the 36 TV episodes and the three books Infinity Welcomes Careful Drivers (IWCD), Better Than Life (BTL) and Last Human (LH). The Red Dwarf Log No. 1996 (LOG) is also included.

STATISTICS.

Total number of independent fishy references = 134.

NB. Total of actual *instances* is higher; for example, in Future Echoes, there are several mentions of Lister's robot goldfish, but I have divided these into "names", "repair", "singing" and "eating" occurrences, so they are counted as *four* references only. So, while I haven't mentioned every single instance of the word "fish", or shot of a fish, etc.; each instance *is* covered within one of the 134 independent references, all of which are cited below.

The "goldfish shoals" in the theme song is counted in the above total as one reference, but does not appear again in any tallies or citations below.

Things which are technically not fish (eg. prawns, oysters, squid) are not counted, unless "fish" is covered by the specific description/name (eg. marine, piscine, jellyfish, starfish).

Number of
References Source

22 IWCD.
17 BTL.
14 LH.
9 Dimension Jump.
6 Back To Reality.
5 LOG, Better Than Life.
4 Future Echoes, Balance Of Power, Thanks For The Memory, Rimmerworld.
3 Marooned, Bodyswap, Psirens, Emohawk: Polymorph II.
2 The End, Kryten, Parallel Universe, Backwards, Polymorph, Timeslides, Camille, Terrorform, Out Of Time.
1 Waiting For God, Confidence And Paranoia, Me^2, Queeg, The Last Day, D.N.A., Quarantine, Demons And Angels, Legion.
0 Stasis Leak, Justice, White Hole, Meltdown, Holoship, The Inquisitor, Gunmen Of The Apocalypse.

Number of References	Source
22	IWCD.
17	BTL.
14	LH.
9	Dimension Jump.
6	Back To Reality.
5	LOG, Better Than Life.
4	Future Echoes, Balance Of Power, Thanks For The Memory, Rimmerworld.
3	Marooned, Bodyswap, Psirens, Emohawk: Polymorph II.
2	The End, Kryten, Parallel Universe, Backwards, Polymorph, Timeslides, Camille, Terrorform, Out Of Time.
1	Waiting For God, Confidence And Paranoia, Me^2, Queeg, The Last Day, D.N.A., Quarantine, Demons And Angels, Legion.
0	Stasis Leak, Justice, White Hole, Meltdown, Holoship, The Inquisitor, Gunmen Of The Apocalypse.

FRESH FISH.

TV show episode names in full.
Books = Abbreviated Title, Part:Chapter.

FISH WE HAVE KNOWN.

Mimian bladderfish (IWCD, 1:3 and Bodyswap).
Shark (IWCD, 1:10).
Goldfish, real (IWCD, 1:13; 3:4 and LH, 2:2 and LOG, March 7 and Better Than Life).
Goldfish, robot (IWCD, 2:4; 2:10; 2:24 and The End, Future Echoes, Balance Of Power, Me^2, Kryten, Thanks For The Memory, Queeg, Parallel Universe).
Pilchards (IWCD, 2:10).
Sardine (IWCD, 2:14 and Terrorform, Back To Reality).
Salmon (IWCD, 2:24 and BTL, 1:18).
Angel fish (IWCD, 3:7 and LH, 3:18).
Tuna (BTL, 4:2 and Rimmerworld).
Haddock (LH, 3:7 and Back To Reality).
Hammerhead shark (LH, 2:4).
Anchovy (LH, 2:6).
Caribbean red snapper (LH, 3:18).
Trout (Balance Of Power, Polymorph).
Herring (Confidence And Paranoia, Thanks For The Memory).
Lumpfish (Psirens).
Halibut (Emohawk: Polymorph II).
Catfish (Out Of Time).

WHO'S THAT GILL?

A Nantucket fisherman (BTL, 1:9).
Michelle Fisher (BTL, 2:6 and LOG [Crew Love Interest Chart] and Marooned).
Lennon robot goldfish (IWCD, 2:4 and Future Echoes).
McCartney robot goldfish (IWCD, 2:4; 2:10 and Future Echoes).
A fisherman who's just caught a hammerhead shark (LH, 2:4).
Anne Gill (Kryten).
Miranda the mermaid (Better Than Life).

LOOKING FOR SOMETHING?

Petersen fished in his knapsack for a whisky can (IWCD, 1:8).
Lister fished out his lucky scoring underpants (IWCD, 2:16).
Rimmer fished out a squashed yacht (BTL, 1:16).
Kryten fished in his utility pouch for a spare nose (BTL, 3:6).
Lister fished in his coat pocket for some decomposing insect paste (BTL, 3:8).
Lister fishes for lager in his briefcase (LH, 1:1).
Holly: "Hang on, I'll fish it [the black box] out." (Thanks For The Memory.)

TOFFED UP TO THE NINES, LADDIE.

Lister -- Fishing waders, yellow (IWCD, 1:3 and BTL, 1:16).
Rimmer, Cat, Kryten -- Fishing waders, yellow (BTL, 4:1).
Lister -- Fishing waders, green (Emohawk: Polymorph II).
Juanita Chicata -- Live goldfish glass brassiere (IWCD, 3:4).
Trixie La Bouche -- Fishnet stockings, laddered (BTL, 1:6; 1:17).
Lister wears a yellow kipper tie at his trial (LH, 1:1).
Silver fish earring, worn by Cat (Bodyswap).
Silver fish earring, given to Kryten (The Last Day).
Gold fish earring, worn by Cat (Dimension Jump).
Lister, Kryten, Holly, Cat -- Fishing gear, hats with flies attached (Dimension Jump).

SELF-REPAIR UNIT.

Lister's robot goldfish (IWCD, 2:4 and Future Echoes).

SHAKE THAT BODY (PART).

Small black shark eyes (IWCD, 1:10).
Breadman's Fish Fingers (IWCD, 3:1).
Fins of Starbug (BTL, 2:7).
Swimmers were equipped with gills and fins (BTL, 3:9).
Talkie Toaster: "Perhaps he's [the Lister GELF] swallowed a fishbone!" (BTL, 3:10.)
Anne Gill (Kryten).
A simple-minded scaly old piscine; a putrid amphibious gill- breather (Polymorph).
Lister: "Going to see 'Jaws'." (Dimension Jump.)
Kryten: "It [the haddock] voluntarily closed its own gills." (Back To Reality.)
Cat: "If you're going to eat tuna, expect bones." (Rimmerworld.)
Lister: "Look, stocked to the gills." (Rimmerworld.)

FURNITURE FINISHED WITH FISH.

Salmon-tinted Aubusson rug (IWCD, 2:24).
A wall of canned pilchards (IWCD, 2:11).
An inflatable starfish in the Thorntons' pool (LH, 2:14).

SINGING IN THE FISH TANK.

I'm/He's going to eat you little fishie... (IWCD, 2:9; 2:10; 3:7 and Future Echoes, Better Than Life).

SWITCH ME ON, SWITCH ME OFF...

Rimmer: "I'll give you a fish...I don't want your fish you stupid Cat!" (Balance Of Power.)

TO EAT, PERCHANCE TO TASTE.

Mimian bladderfish, spicy (IWCD, 1:5).
Mimian bladderfish, lightly poached (Bodyswap).
Fish paste (IWCD, 1:20).
Taramasalata (Dimension Jump).
Robot goldfish [in a roll] (IWCD, 2:10 and Future Echoes).
Canned pilchards (IWCD, 2:11).
Caviare niblets (IWCD, 2:14 and Legion, Out Of Time).
Caviare, sculpture of Juanita Chicata (IWCD, 3:2).
Caviare vindaloo (Better Than Life).
Fish and chip shops, Welsh (IWCD, 2:32 and Rimmerworld).
Luigi's Fish 'N' Chip Emporium (Timeslides).
Kippers, two: lightly grilled (IWCD, 2:10).
Kippers, smoked: for breakfast last Thursday (BTL, 1:7).
Kippers, smoked for Ace/"Ace" Rimmer when he's back for breakfast (LH, 3:17; 3:19 and Dimension Jump, Emohawk: Polymorph II).
Kippers vindaloo (Bodyswap).
Fish a la aquarium (IWCD, 3:7 and Better Than Life).
Angel fish, squirming: sucked off rod hook by Cat (IWCD, 3:7).
Breadman's Fish Fingers (IWCD, 3:1).
Silver platters piled high with every kind of fish imaginable (BTL, 1:17).
A whole salmon in the fridge (BTL, 1:18).
Tuna and mayonnaise sandwich/filling (BTL, 4:2).
Cat: "If you're going to eat tuna, expect bones." (Rimmerworld.)
Anchovy sandwich spread (LH, 2:6).
A large quatroformaggio pizza with extra olives: Well, only if it has anchovies too (Terrorform)!
Today's fish is trout a la creme. Enjoy your meal (Balance Of Power).
Herring rain, eaten by Cat (Confidence And Paranoia).
Second menu item in the cafe on backwards Earth is HSIF (Backwards).
Sushi/sushi bar (Camille).
Sardines, in a can, already open (Terrorform).
A cajun catfish (Out Of Time).

THE MEANING OF FISH.

Rimmer's claim to fishhood: "I am a fish." (IWCD, 1:12; 1:15 and The End.)
Rimmer's "I am a fish" engineering examination (LOG, November 4).
Lister's alternative to drowning: become a fish (LH, 2:10).
Cat: "Don't fish swim south for the winter?" (Back To Reality.)
Lister: "Why would a haddock kill itself?" (Back To Reality.)

THE PISCINIC AFTERLIFE.

Lister's father went to the same place as his goldfish (IWCD, 1:13 and LOG, March 7 and Better Than Life).
Cat: "I've been fished to death!" (Balance Of Power.)
The fish committed suicide (Back To Reality).

ONE FISH, TWO FISH.

Five fish, six fish... (Balance Of Power).

GAME OVER, BOYS.

That brilliant trick with the fish... (BTL, 1:1).
One of Lister's hobbies: baiting Rimmer (LOG, March 7).
Cat is partial to a game of Junior Angler (LOG, August 1).
Junior Angler: freshwater fly fishing (Timeslides).
Lister juggles the goldfish...blindfold (Parallel Universe).
Rimmer with a full net: "I'll smoke him a smegging kipper!" (Dimension Jump.)

GET AN UMBRELLA.

Herring rain (Confidence And Paranoia).
Herring rain as seen on the video screens in the Hologram Simulation Suite (Thanks For The Memory).

FISHING.

Cat reels them in (IWCD, 3:7 and Better Than Life).
More hooking than a Nantucket fisherman (BTL, 1:9).
A fisherman who's just caught a hammerhead shark (LH, 2:4).
Regardless of time, the GELFs fish upriver (LH, 2:5).
Fancy a game of Junior Angler (Timeslides)?
Fishing holiday on an ocean planet (Dimension Jump).
Condom fishing (Dimension Jump).
Angling, a popular pastime for doing alone (Quarantine).
The Low Red Dwarf -- "Fishbait" (Demons And Angels).
Kryten: "Hook, line, sinker, rod and copy of Angling Times." (Psirens.)
Kryten's head: shaped like an inexplicably popular fishing float (Rimmerworld).

METAPHORICALLY FISHY SAYINGS...

Ships like sardine cans (IWCD, 2:14 and Back To Reality).
More hooking than a Nantucket fisherman (BTL, 1:9).
A fish out of water around women (BTL, 2:6 and Marooned).
Regardless of time, the GELFs fish upriver (LH, 2:5).
Rimmer: as spineless as a freshly-filleted haddock (LH, 3:7).
Smoke me a kipper, I'll be back for breakfast (LH, 3:17 and Dimension Jump, Emohawk: Polymorph II).
S.M.A.K.I.B.B.F.B. (LH, 3:19).
Michael's face: blackened like a Caribbean red snapper (LH, 3:18).
A light-spasm moving like a frightened angel fish (LH, 3:18).
Lister: "Bye-bye, Birdseye." (Marooned.)
Kryten: "I've no fish to embarrass you further; I'll let myself trout." (Polymorph.)
Kryten: "Hook, line, sinker, rod and copy of Angling Times." (Psirens.)
Cat: "If you're going to eat tuna, expect bones." (Rimmerworld.)
Less choice than a Welsh fish and chip shop (Rimmerworld).

FISH UNDER GLASS.

Fish swimming backwards in the lake (Backwards).
Herring rain on the Hologram Simulation Suite monitors (Thanks For The Memory).
Decorative fish swimming on the monitor screen (Camille, D.N.A., Dimension Jump).
Download Physical Form monitor: surprise, a fish (Psirens).

SORT OF FISHY.

An inflatable starfish in the Thorntons' pool (LH, 2:14).
Marine life...well that would be fishy (LH, 3:2).
Fishy type icons around the picture of Cloister with Frankenstein in the Holy Book (Waiting For God).
Never experiencing = no better than a jellyfish (Thanks For The Memory).
Oceanic life...and that includes fish (Back To Reality).
In fact, maybe "some huge damn fish" (Back To Reality).
Hallucinogenic venom from a piscine source (Back To Reality).

THREAT WARNING: INSULT!

Bonehead's Mum according to Kryten: A silly old trout; a foolish, aged blubbery fish; a simple-minded scaly old piscine; an ugly, lungless marine animal with galloping senility; a putrid amphibious gill-breather with less brains than a mollusc (Polymorph).
Kryten's head: shaped like a genetically-flawed lumpfish (Psirens).
Rimmer: "Details, halibut breath!" (Emohawk: Polymorph II.)
Kryten's head: shaped like an inexplicably popular fishing float (Rimmerworld).
Rimmer wants to fry Kryten like a cajun catfish (Out Of Time).

FIN ;-)