Red Dwarf References List

A Who's Who, Where's Where, When was When and What's from What of RED DWARF.

Version 1.50, April 1996.

New!Marks new since last version.

Edited by Annette ([email protected]), just to prove that I really *don't* have enough to do to occupy my time. :-)


NOTICE: This document, its format, and all material contained herein are protected by public copyright, except where it conflicts with the copyright of Grant Naylor. This document *may* be distributed freely in its entirety and posted at electronic sites where no fee is charged for its viewing. It *may not* be sold or published for profit in any form.

Table of Contents


SO WHAT IS IT?

The Red Dwarf References List (RDRL) is a list of explanations for those references made in Red Dwarf to things *outside* of Red Dwarf; eg. people, movies, books, historical events, places of peculiar reputation, whatever. It *is not* an A-Z of Red Dwarf...well, that's what the Programme Guide is for.

HEY, LET'S SEE WHAT WE GOT IN THE MAGIC BAG HERE...

The RDRL attempts to identify/explain references to movies, books, songs, famous people, certain places, historical events, etc. The reference can be direct, ie. named (eg. Mary, Queen of Scots); or indirect or alluded to (eg. the singing of "See You Later Alligator"). Things which *generally* will not be counted (though there *will* be a few exceptions) are: furnishings, decorations and possessions (unless referring to one of the above listings); food (unless a proper name or certain brand names); sayings or expressions (unless containing proper names); *broad* religious parallels; scientific terminology (unless containing proper names). As well, there are a very few things which are self-explanatory in the context of the show/book; these are not included as there is nothing left to add. Lastly, a few things must be so well- known there's no need for explanation -- we all know who Jesus was, right? ;-)

PASS ME A 14-B.

The RDRL at the moment is incomplete and may also contain some information which is downright wrong (eg. for a couple of things I've just put two and two together, and *may* have ended up with five!). Anyone who has a correction to existing information (though let's not split hairs), I'd love to hear from you. Please EMAIL me with the substantiated modification (something I can cross-check ideally, and definitely not a "My friend heard on the radio that..."). Thanks. Nearly all of the references are essentially complete as they are now -- mostly I'll only have one to four sentences about each reference. Any reference not containing a "[?]" will not be modified unless it is out and out *wrong*, or there is an additional *definite* allusion that I have missed. Not all things I've marked in this way will necessarily be true external references; and I may not even have the spelling right in some places.

New!references will be gratefully accepted in the following categories *ONLY* -- all forms of the entertainment media; famous people; historical events; places of character.

SPACE CORPS DIRECTIVE 280360/MM CLEARLY STATES...

That the references contained within this document be true references and *not* COINCIDENCES. For example, I haven't included anything about the "Roadrunner act" mention in MAROONED, because it is not specific enough to say for absolute (or very nearly) sure that it's a reference to the Warner Brothers cartoon character. I will not include something unless a definite (or *HIGHLY* likely) connection can be established.

YOU CAN WORK OUT THE REST OF THE CONTROLS FOR YOURSELF.

The actual references are divided into three sections.

Any reference which contains "[?]" means that I would like more information pretty pretty please. The position of the "[?]" often gives a good indication of the type of information I want, eg. (1926-[?]) means I would like to know the year of death.

Anything new/modified from the previous version will be marked with a New!

HOPE THEY'VE GOT SOME SPARE ODDS 'N' SODS ON BOARD...

The references are listed per episode and book as:

PARALLEL (where appropriate). 'Ideas/inspiration' for the episode/ story.
Direct references. Listed in the order they appear in the episode/book.
Indirect references (**). Listed in the order they appear in the episode/book.

* If a reference is not listed for a particular episode or book, check the COMMON REFERENCES section. *

Biographies may be given for direct people references. Birth/death year given for actors playing a character directly mentioned. The words 'recorded by' as applied to songs do not necessarily indicate the original artist, just a well-known one. Movie dates may be the year of production or year of release. The term 'football' means the game of soccer unless otherwise stated.

220 SYCAMORE AVENUE.

To get a copy of the RDRL:

Friday's alt.tv.red-dwarf pages at
http://www.ftech.net/~cobweb/alt.tv.red-dwarf

Michael Nagy's Queeg pages at
http://www.queeg.crater.com
ftp://ftp.queeg.crater.com/pub/red-dwarf/general/

Thanks guys! :-)

If you can get the RDRL by neither of the above means, email me and I'll send you a text copy.

SMELLS LIKE YOUR MOON BOOTS, MAN.

The nature of this document means that it is basically ONE BIG SPOILER. For LOTS OF THINGS (in particular, for the movies "Casablanca", "Alien" and "It's A Wonderful Life"). Consider this a spoiler warning -- read the RDRL at your own risk.

THANK YOU VERY MUCH!

Many many thanks to Grant Naylor, for all things Red Dwarf! *Big* sloppy thanks to Tom Marwede (who really, really cares about this sort of thing!), and also to Raz (my 'foreign' correspondent, constructive critic, and Provider of the Logo!). ;-) Thanks to Friday and Michael Nagy for giving the RDRL a home. Thanks to Ang Rosin, for answering my mini-mini Scouse questionnaire. Thank you: Damone, Cma, Elliedra, Bette Llewellyn, FroggyGrem, Andrew Hetherington, Jim Wraith, Phaedrus, John Coleman, Nadine SFWBWWWW, Fraser, Kerry Galgano, Friday, Pat Berry, Paul Barnes, Laurence Jason Koehn, George Rudy, Tracie Webster, Alsion Campbell, Richard Lockwood, Steve Howell, Kay Annette Bristol, Alexander Lum, GenMelchit, Alan Moon and Todd Pinarchick.

New!New contributions since version 1.25: Ang Rosin, Friday, Ian D. Jones, Jim Shaw, Tom Marwede, John Foster, Allan Jenney, Wendy Lynn O'Boyle, Gavrielle Perry and Bette Llewellyn. Added thanks to Jim Shaw for pointing out that Leonardo da Vinci was not in fact born 23 years after he died! *Extra* special thanks to Linda Stephens, for all the "Bad News".


MISCELLANEOUS REFERENCES

A) SPACE.

RED DWARF

A red dwarf is a type of star. Red dwarf stars are very long-lived and are probably the most abundant stars in the universe. The closest star to Earth (besides its own Sun) is the red dwarf star Proxima Centauri (magnitude 11, 4.3 light years away), a companion to the binary star Alpha Centauri. The RED DWARF's shuttle crafts' names (excepting Starbug) are also types of stars.

Mercury:

The closest planet to your actual sun. Named after the messenger to the Roman gods.

Venus:

Second planet from the sun. Named after the Roman goddess of love.

Mars:

Fourth planet from the sun. Named after the Roman god of war.

Jupiter:

Fifth from the sun and largest planet. Named after Jupiter, chief of the Roman gods. Satellites: Ganymede (named after the cupbearer of Zeus, Greek equivalent of Jupiter), Io (named after a lover of Zeus), Europa (named after another lover of Zeus), Callisto (surprise surprise, yet another of Zeus's conquests).

Saturn:

Ringed planet, sixth from the sun. Named after a Roman god of agriculture. Satellites: Titan (named for a race of primeval Greek gods), Mimas, Tethys (named after a Titan sea-goddess), Dione (named after a Greek earth-goddess), Rhea (named after a Titan mother- goddess), Hyperion (named after a Titan sun-god), Phoebe (named after a Titan moon-goddess).

Uranus:

Seventh planet from the sun. Named after a Greek sky god, father of the Titans. Satellite: Miranda.

Neptune:

Eighth or ninth planet from the sun. Named after the Roman god of water. Satellite: Triton (named after the merman son of Poseidon, the Greek equivalent of Neptune).

Pluto:

Eighth or ninth planet from the sun. Named after the Roman god of the underworld.

B) EARTH.

Countries and regions of the world:

Fiji, Denmark, Bermuda, Portugal, Uruguay, India, Spain, The Vatican, Burma, Bulgaria, Bosnia, France, Poland, Austria, England, Italy, USA, Macedonia, Turkey, Bahamas, Czechoslovakia, Bolivia, Iran, Taiwan, Belgium, Estonia, Egypt, Cuba, Japan, Greece, Great Britain, Mexico, Norway, Wales, Albania, The Netherlands, China, Vietnam, Persia, South Africa, Germany, Russia, Luxembourg, Scotland, Mongolia, Armenia, Australia, Syria, Korea, Sweden, Tunisia, Tanzania, Morocco, Ireland, Canada, Cornwall, Prussia, Alsace, Bali, Java, Malagasy Republic, Zanzibar, West Indies, Flanders, Burgundy, Corsica, Texas, Oregon, Indiana, Pennsylvania, South Dakota, Alaska, New Mexico, Hawaii, Kentucky, Yorkshire.

World cities/towns:

Washington, Chicago, Salzburg, Hilo, London, Paris, Liverpool, Copenhagen, Helsinki, New York (Manhattan), Moscow, San Francisco, Houston, Madras, Rome, Berlin, Turin, Florence, Bangalore, Havana, Warsaw, Casablanca, Bonn, Tokyo, Oslo, Newcastle, Acapulco, Boston, Birmingham, Laredo, Dallas, Gouda, New! Venice, Marbella, Kiev, Lagos, Beverly Hills, Detroit.

C) COMMON REFERENCES.

Action Man:

Boys' toy, a doll in the style of G.I. Joe.

New!Aigburth Arms:

A real pub, on Victoria Road, in Aigburth -- an area of (and former village outside of) Liverpool. Though its pool table allowed Lister to become the stuff of legend, this pub did not always have this apparatus on which to be a Cinzano Bianco.

Ascension (Sunday?):

Ascension Thursday is the feast day commemorating Christ's ascension into Heaven.

Bacon, Sir Francis:

(1561-1626) English politician, philosopher and essayist.

Bates, Norman:

Character in Alfred Hitchcock's movie "Psycho" (1960). Played by Anthony Perkins (1932-1992), Bates had killed his mother and absorbed her persona into himself; in his insanity he kept his mother's skeletal remains as part of his delusion that she was still with him.

Beethoven, Ludwig van:

(1770-1827) German composer, conductor and pianist; continued composing even after being afflicted with deafness in 1801.

Bennett, Gordon:

(1841-1918) James Gordon Bennett, Jr., American newspaper magnate (whose father, James Gordon Bennett, founded the New York Herald in 1835). Bennett was known for his extravagant and capricious behaviour, and his name has become synonymous with a feeling of exasperation such as he frequently caused in people. See the FAQ for more details.

Blu-Tack:

Sticky substance used for attaching posters to walls (for those for whom chewing-gum doesn't quite do the trick).

Bootle:

Town near Liverpool, England.

Brando, Marlon:

(1924- ) American actor. Best known roles in "A Streetcar Named Desire" (1947), "The Wild One" (1954) and "On The Waterfront" (1954), this last for which he won an Oscar. Recently seen in "Don Juan De Marco" (1995) with Johnny Depp.

Buddha:

(c.563-483 BC) 'The Enlightened One', title of Nepalese Prince Gautama Siddhartha. Went from a life of luxury to one of asceticism before turning to meditation, after which he achieved enlightenment while sitting under a bo tree in India. His teaching founded the religion of Buddhism.

Buddhism:

Religion originating in India around 500 BC from the teachings of Prince Gautama Siddhartha (Buddha, 'The Enlightened One'). No deity worship, but a doctrine of karma and reincarnation, and a philosophy of good/evil being rewarded/ punished in future incarnations.

Caligula:

(12-41) Gaius Caesar. Mentally unstable, cruel and depraved Emperor of Rome (37-41). Besides the 'excesses' mentioned by Lister in MELTDOWN, Caligula ('Little Boots') also made a consul of his favourite horse Incitatus. Finally an officer of the guard could stand this sort of rot no longer, and so Caligula was assassinated.

Camus, Albert:

(1913-1960) French existentialist novelist; won the Nobel Prize for Literature in 1957.

Capra, Frank:

(1897-1991) Italian-born American writer, producer and director. Triple Oscar winner for directing, his films include "It Happened One Night" (1934), "Mr. Smith Goes To Washington" (1939), "Arsenic And Old Lace" (1944) and "It's A Wonderful Life" (1946).

Carmichael, Hoagy:

(1899-1981) American singer, songwriter, pianist and bandleader. Wrote many songs for film and TV and often appeared on celluloid as himself to perform the songs.

Casablanca:

(1942) Classic film starring Humphrey Bogart and Ingrid Bergman; love versus political principles in World War II Morocco. Waiting to be definitively remade starring Peter Beardsley and Myra Binglebat. ;-)

Cat:

Danny John-Jules has modelled the Cat in part on the American singer James Brown (1928- ; for his 'screech'), the American singer Little Richard (1935- ; for his bouffant hair) and the American actor Richard Pryor (1940- ; for his facial mannerisms).

Champion The Wonder Horse:

Champion was the horse of American cowboy singer/actor Gene Autry. From 1955-1956 Champion was the star of a CBS children's show called "The Adventures Of Champion". This show starred Barry Curtis as 12 year old Ricky North, who was always getting into serious scrapes and being rescued by his Wonder Horse, Champion, and his faithful German shepherd dog called Rebel.

Citizen Kane:

(1941) Movie written and directed by, and starring in the title role, Orson Welles (1915-1985). A psychological study of the life of a newspaper magnate (Charles Foster Kane), the movie is much studied and is lauded as a cinematic masterpiece.

Clive of India:

Robert, Baron Clive of Passey (1725-1774). British soldier/administrator who established British rule in India. Governor of Bengal.

Come Jiving:

Perhaps a later version of the dance competition "Come Dancing". [?]

Como, Perry:

(1912- ) American singer, and sometime actor and TV variety show host. Hits included many songs from movies, such as "Blue Moon" (from "Words And Music", 1958) and the No. 1 "Some Enchanted Evening" (from "South Pacific", 1949). Although, my hopelessly inadequate book fails utterly to mention what was stashed in his slacks during the singing of "Memories Are Made Of This".

Copacabana:

Song about love, murder and regrets at the hottest spot north of Havana (where music and passion were always the fashion). Recorded by Barry Manilow.

Coward, Noel:

(1899-1973) British playwright, director, actor, composer and producer. Well-known play -- "Private Lives" (1930).

Crunchie bars:

Scrumdiddlyumptious chocolate-covered honeycomb bars, made by Cadbury.

New! Da Vinci, Leonardo:

(1452-1519) Italian artist, scientist and inventor. Works include the paintings "The Last Supper" (1495) and the "Mona Lisa" (1503-1506). Sketches of his inventions show plans for 'tanks', 'aeroplanes', 'submarines', a 'helicopter' and even the first 'bicycle'.

Dirty Dozen, The:

(1967) American/Spanish movie set during World War II, about a commando suicide squad recruited from lifer convicts (starring Lee Marvin and Charles Bronson). Novel by E.M. Nathanson.

Eastbourne:

Town on the south coast of England with a popular reputation as a retirement haven for older/elderly people.

Eiffel Tower:

Famous Parisian landmark named after and constructed by the French engineer Gustave Eiffel (1832-1923), for the Paris Exhibition of 1889.

Einstein, Albert:

(1879-1955) Pretty famous physicist actually, and the theory goes that Einstein = Mister Clever (too).

Elephant Man, The:

(1862-1890) Joseph (commonly erroneously referred to as John) Merrick, a man with hideous deformities in the form of huge masses of bulbous flesh, thought to be the result of a rare disease called Proteus syndrome.

Esperanto:

The second language of Red Dwarf, and one that Rimmer has been trying unsuccessfully to learn for eight years. Esperanto is an artificial, logical language incorporating principles/words derived from major European languages. It was devised in 1887 by Polish philologist Ludwig Zamenhof (1859-1917).

Flintstones, The:

Indisputably-classic cartoon from Hanna-Barbera, about two Bedrock suburban couples (Fred and Wilma Flintstone, and Barney and Betty Rubble).

Frankenstein:

Book by Mary Shelley, published 1818. A scientist (Frankenstein) creates a monster by reanimating corpse tissue, and then suffers the consequences. Apparently, truly stupid people (and Cats) erroneously believe that it was the monster, not its creator, who was called Frankenstein.

G & E drawing:

Geometric and Engineering Drawing. A GCSE subject, also known as Technical Drawing (or Mechanical and Engineering Drawing at "O" Level). Goering, Hermann: (1893-1946) The 'bit dodgy, drug-crazed Nazi transvestite' associate of Hitler. Established the Gestapo and concentration camps. Committed suicide before he could be executed for war crimes.

Gone With The Wind:

(1939) American movie about love during the American Civil War. Starring Clark Gable and Vivien Leigh. A run-time of three hours and forty minutes.

Hammond organ:

Electric organ invented in America in 1934 by Laurens Hammond (1895-1973).

Hardy, Oliver:

(1892-1957) Rotund partner in the American comedy duo Laurel and Hardy (Stan Laurel was thin), who had great popular success in over 200 films during the late 1920s to mid-1940s. Hilarity came from how they set one another off -- Stan was the worrier and bumbler, Ollie the fastidious one with the slow- burning temper.

Hendrix, Jimi:

(1942-1970) American singer and master guitar wizard. Songs include "Hey Joe", "All Along The Watchtower" and "The Star-Spangled Banner" (at Woodstock, 1969).

Hitler, Adolf:

(1889-1945) Leader of the runners-up (the nasty Nazis) in World War II, and generally not a very nice person.

I'm A Yankee Doodle Dandy:

Song by vaudevillian George M. Cohan.

It's A Wonderful Life:

It's a wonderful film (1946) by Frank Capra, starring James Stewart and Donna Reed. George Bailey (Stewart) is a selfless man who has lived a good life in Bedford Falls, where he frequently gave up his own opportunities for the good of others. One Christmas Eve when things have gone so wrong that George believes everyone would be better off if he were dead, he first attempts suicide, but (after being saved by the angel Clarence) then laments instead that he had ever been born at all. Clarence then takes George on a visit to the town and people of a Bedford Falls where George Bailey had never existed... (Watch this film only with a *big* box of tissues to cry into!) Several characters, buildings, etc. from the film crop up in Lister's fantasy world in the game Better Than Life... Old Man Gower (played by H.B. Warner; 1876-1958) and his drugstore. Bert the cop (played by Ward Bond; 1903-1960). Ernie the cab-driver (played by Frank Faylen; 1907-1985). Martini (played by Bill Edmunds; 1885-1981) and his bar. Potter (played by Lionel Barrymore; 1878-1954). Ma Bailey (played by Beulah Bondi; 1892-1981) and her boarding house. Billy Bailey (played by Thomas Mitchell; 1892-1962). Even though Billy Bailey does not play the tuba in the film, both Billys are a couple of lettuces short of an allotment and are bound to be the same person. There is an Emporium in the film's Bedford Falls, though I doubt it sells shami kebabs! Lister lives at 220 Sycamore Avenue; James Stewart's George Bailey lives at 320 Sycamore. Both Baileys have a clapped-out old piano on which their children play Christmas carols, although Lister's sons Jim and Bexley are playing "Silent Night" while George Bailey's (James Stewart) daughter Janie is playing "Hark The Herald Angels Sing".

Joan Of Arc:

(c.1412-1431) French girl who (after inspiration from holy 'voices') led the French army in battles against the English, to free France from English domination. Eventually captured by the English, she was interrogated and tricked into admissions of witchcraft; soon afterwards she was burned at the stake in Rouen. She was canonised in 1920.

Judas (Iscariot):

The disciple of Jesus who betrayed Him to the authorities for a reward of 30 pieces of silver. He later renounced his reward and suicided in his remorse.

Julius Caesar:

(c.100-44 BC) Roman statesman, general and dictator.

Juno:

Roman goddess of women and childbirth and wife of Jupiter, chief of the gods.

Kama-Sutra:

Textbook on erotics and other forms of human pleasure. Named after Indian god of love (Kama).

Keegan, Kevin:

(1951- ) British (former) footballer; now manager of the team Newcastle United.

Kennedy, John F(itzgerald):

(1917-1963) 35th President of the USA, 1961-1963 (Democrat). The youngest president elected, and also a Roman Catholic (though despite this, *quite* a womaniser). Assassinated by Lee Harvey Oswald in Dallas, Texas, November 1963.

Kryten:

Kryten's name comes from the play "The Admirable Crichton" (1902), by J.M. Barrie.

Lamb, Charles:

(1775-1834) British essayist and critic.

Last, James:

(1929- ) German-born cabaret/dance band leader and musician. Big success in Europe. Albums such as "Polka Party" and "Violins In Love" indicate both why Rimmer likes him so much and why he's in with the cream of evil on Waxworld! ;-)

Laurel, Stan:

(1890-1965) Born in England as Arthur Stanley Jefferson. Thin partner in the American comedy duo Laurel and Hardy (Oliver Hardy was 'rotund'), who had great popular success in over 200 films during the late 1920s to mid-1940s. Hilarity came from how they set one another off -- Stan was the worrier and bumbler, Ollie the fastidious one with the slow-burning temper.

Lennon, John:

(1940-1980) Singer, songwriter and rhythm guitarist with The Beatles.

Lewis':

Department store. So we know Michelle Fisher was *beautiful* enough to get a job behind the perfume counter, but was she also vicious enough? I mean, that killer ability to leap out and spray customers with perfume as they pass the counter...that can only come from *instinct*, not training.

Lincoln, Abraham:

(1809-1865) 'Honest Abe', 16th President of the USA (1861-5, Republican). President during the time of the American Civil War, he was concerned with preserving the Union and freeing the slaves. He was assassinated by John Wilkes Booth while attending a play.

Lolita:

(1955) Best-known novel of the Russian writer Vladimir Nabokov, it tells the story of a middle-aged man's obsession with a 12 year old girl.

Louis XVI:

(1754-1793) King of France 1774-1793. After the French Revolution in 1789, Louis and his family lost power, but not until 1792 were the Royal Family taken prisoner by the French government. After being tried for treason, Louis was guillotined in 1793.

Lustbader, Eric (Van):

([?]- ) American novelist, and music industry influence (eg. introduced Elton John to the American music scene).

Marie Antoinette:

(1755-1793) Queen of Louis XVI of France. Her alleged extravagance helped to provoke the French Revolution in 1789. In 1793 she was tried for treason, and then guillotined along with her husband.

Mary Celeste:

American sailing ship found abandoned in the Atlantic Ocean in 1872. Only some navigation instruments, the cargo charts, and the human crew were missing (never found), with no indication of why they might have left the otherwise-intact ship.

McCartney, Paul:

(1942- ) Singer, songwriter and rhythm/bass guitarist with The Beatles.

McClure, Doug:

(1935-1995) American actor. Leading man in over 20 B- grade films, including "The King's Pirate" (1967), "The Land That Time Forgot" (1975) and "The People That Time Forgot" (1977); recently seen in "Maverick" (1994) with Mel Gibson. Also made several TV series including "Checkmate", "The Virginian" and "Out Of This World". He died of lung cancer aged 59.

Monroe, Marilyn:

(1926-1962) American actress and sex symbol. Best- known films include "How To Marry A Millionaire" (1953), "Gentlemen Prefer Blondes" (1953), "The Seven Year Itch" (1955) and "Some Like It Hot" (1959).

Moss Bro(ther)s:

Clothing/suit hire establishment.

Mozart, Wolfgang Amadeus:

(1756-1791) Austrian genius composer, and virtuoso piano and violin player.

Munchkin:

One of the little people in the American film "The Wizard Of Oz" (1939) starring Judy Garland. From the novels by L. Frank Baum.

Napoleon (Bonaparte):

(1769-1821) Born at Ajaccio on the island of Corsica. General, dictator and Emperor of the French (as Napoleon I; 1804-1814).

Nelson, Horatio:

(1758-1805) British (naval) admiral. During the French Revolutionary Wars he lost the sight of his right eye (1794), and lost his right arm in 1797.

Newton, Isaac:

(1642-1727) British physicist and mathematician. Laid the foundations of modern physics, including developing calculus, discovering the law of gravity and developing the laws of motion. Apparently had a penchant for sitting under apple trees.

Niagara Falls:

Two waterfalls on the Niagara River on the Canadian (Ontario) and USA (New York state) border.

Nixon, Richard Milhous:

(1913-1994) 37th President (1969-74) of the USA, a Republican. He resigned over scandals including his involvement in the Watergate cover-up.

Patton, George Smith:

(1885-1945) American general during World War II.

Paul, Les:

(1915-1995) American guitarist and inventor.

Pentecost (Christian):

The day the Apostles experienced inspiration by the Holy Spirit. Commemorated on Whit Sunday.

Pinter, Harold:

(1930- ) British dramatist and former actor. Author of "The Caretaker" (1960).

Pompadour:

Brushed-up hairstyle named for the Marquise de Pompadour (Jeanne Antoinette Poisson, 1721-1764), mistress of King Louis XV of France.

Presley, Elvis:

(1935-1977) The King is (officially!) dead. Long live the King!

Pythagoras:

(c.580-500 BC) Greek philosopher and mathematician.

Ringo (Starr):

(1940- ) Drummer with the Beatles.

Robeson, Paul:

(1898-1976) Bass (called baritone) singer, and sometime actor.

Saint Francis of Assisi:

(1182-1226) Founder of the Franciscan Friars. All-round animal lover (healing the sick ones and taming the wild ones) and patron saint of ecologists.

Samaritans:

Telephone suicide counsellors (group established in Great Britain in 1953). The name derives from the sect Samaritans, inhabitants of the area of northern Israel called Samaria. See also from the Bible, the parable of the Good Samaritan (Luke 10:25-37).

Sancerre:

Dry white wine derived from Sauvignon Blanc.

Sartre, Jean-Paul:

(1905-1980) French writer/philosopher, apparently with a penchant for poncing around in black polo-neck sweaters...

New! Shake 'N' Vac:

A carpet-deodorising powder which is shaken onto a carpet and which releases an odour-killing fragrance when the carpet is vacuumed.

Shakespeare, William:

(1564-1616) English dramatist (actor and playwright) and poet.

Shrove Tuesday (Christian):

The day before the beginning of Lent.

Sinclair ZX81:

Computer named for Clive Sinclair (1940- ), inventive British electronics engineer. Both the Sinclair ZX81 and ZX80 became available in 1980, and were the first sub-UKP100 computers.

Sistine Chapel:

Chapel in The Vatican, most famously decorated with frescoes (by Michelangelo, done between 1508-1512) of scenes from the Book of Genesis.

Taj Mahal:

White marble mausoleum in Agra, India. Built in the mid- 1600s by Shah Jahan in memory of his favourite wife.

Third Reich:

Nazi Germany under Hitler's dictatorship.

Turin, Shroud of:

The Italian city of Turin is home to a Christian relic in the form of a piece of cloth with an 'imprint' of a man upon it; it is believed by many to be the burial shroud of Jesus Christ, but scientific testing has shown the cloth to date only from the 13th or 14th century.

Ulysses:

Roman name for the Greek mythological hero Odysseus. Hero of the Trojan War, subject of Homer's "Odyssey" and also appearing in his "Iliad".

Valkyrie:

One of the nine virgin (well until they met the Cat) semidivine priestesses of Freya (goddess of love and beauty) in Norse mythology.

Van Gogh, Vincent:

(1853-1890) Dutch Postimpressionist painter. Given to bouts of insanity, after one of which he cut off his own ear. He shot himself at the age of 37 during another spell of madness. Paintings include "Still Life With Sunflowers" (1888), "Cornfield With Cypresses" (1889) and "Self-Portrait" (1890).

Versailles, Palace Of:

Enormous palace outside of Paris, residence of the Kings of France from 1682 to 1790. The 'palace' also contains several subsidiary palaces, as well as enormous and intricate sculpted gardens.

Victoria:

(1819-1901) Queen of Great Britain 1837-1901. Longest- reigning British monarch, and called 'Grandmother of Europe' by virtue of the marriages of her nine children and their descendants into the royal houses of Europe.

Wayne, John:

(1907-1979) The Duke. American actor most popularly known for his roles in Western films (winning an Oscar for "True Grit", 1969).

Wouk, Herman:

(1915- ) American novelist, and winner of the Pulitzer Prize (1952) for "The Caine Mutiny" (1951); more recent novels include "The Winds Of War" (1971) and "War And Remembrance" (1978).


THE TV SHOW

THE END

Mary, Queen of Scots:

(1542-1587) Queen of Scotland 1542-1567. Executed on the orders of Elizabeth I of England. Her son James VI of Scotland later became James I of Great Britain.

Pythagoras Theorem:

The square of the hypotenuse of a right-angle triangle is equal to the sum of the squares of its other two sides. You will be tested.

** The song Lister is humming at the beginning:

"If I Only Had A Brain" from the movie "The Wizard Of Oz" (1939), starring Judy Garland.

** The flag on McIntyre's funeral canister:

The flag of Wales -- the Red Dragon of Cadwallader over a green and white background.

** The song played at McIntyre's funeral:

"See You Later Alligator", an early rock 'n' roll song (1956). Recorded by Bill Haley And The Comets.

** The song the Cat is singing:

"Me And My Shadow"; has been performed by several artists over the years, including Frank Sinatra and Judy Garland. Can be heard in the 1981 British movie "Time Bandits", starring John Cleese and Sean Connery.

FUTURE ECHOES

Teasy-Weasy:

A hairdresser, of course. Here's hoping they're better at it than Holly is.

Filofax:

Personal organiser. For those not important enough to warrant having a secretary.

Green Beret:

Crack military group, Special Forces of the US Army. In 1961, the best of the Special Forces were granted the honorific "Green Beret" by President Kennedy.

Shapiro, Helen:

(1946- ) British singer and actress. Famous for having a hit single at the age of 14, and for wearing bouffant hair. ;-)

Ladybird Books:

Information books on a level for children.

Starlight Ballroom:

Club in Las Vegas.

** The song Lister is singing at the beginning:

A spaced-up version of "My Darling Clementine".

** The song Talkie Toaster is singing:

"Fly Me To The Moon", recorded by Frank Sinatra.

** The tune Rimmer is humming as he contemplates Lister's demise:

The "Death March Of Saul" (1738) by the German composer George Frideric Handel.

** Rimmer's second hairstyle:

Holly has made him into a Beatles wannabe.

BALANCE OF POWER

Mendelssohn, Felix:

(1809-1847) German composer, pianist and conductor.

Motorhead:

British heavy metal band.

Boyle, Robert:

(1627-1691). British chemist who made quantitative studies of gases, enabling him to formulate Boyle's Law of Gases. Of course, he may also have made study of the dangers of eating greasy food...

WAITING FOR GOD

PARALLEL -- The play "Waiting For Godot" (1952) by Samuel Beckett, about two tramps trapped by delusion, ignorance and hope in the form of waiting for a mysterious someone called Godot.

Hugo, Victor:

(1802-1885) French novelist. Best-known books include "Notre-Dame De Paris" (The Hunchback Of Notre Dame -- 1831) and "Les Miserables" (1862).

Galileo (Galilei):

(1564-1642) Italian physicist, mathematician, astronomer and developer of the astronomical telescope.

Edison, Thomas Alva:

(1847-1931) American scientist and prolific inventor (inventions included the phonograph and the lightbulb).

Columbo:

Scruffy detective played by Peter Falk (1927- ) in the American TV series/movies of the same name. Not to be confused with Christopher Columbus (1451-1506), the Italian explorer who discovered America (1492), and generally was believed to dress quite nicely (except when portrayed in the movies by Gerard Depardieu).

Bermuda Triangle:

Area of the Atlantic Ocean (roughly bounded by the southern USA coast, Bermuda, and the Greater Antilles) in which more than 70 ships and aeroplanes have allegedly disappeared. Alien abductions constitute a favourite 'explanation' for these supposed disappearances.

** "I toast, therefore I am.":

Variation on the "I think, therefore I am" principle by Rene Descartes.

** "You might get some squiggly, slimy thing stuck to your face!":

In the movie "Alien" (1979) starring Sigourney Weaver and John Hurt, this is precisely what happened to Hurt's character Kane when he went off investigating alien 'eggs'.

** The music that plays as Lister enters the Cat 'cathedral':

Toccata and Fugue in g minor, by the German composer Johann Sebastian Bach.

CONFIDENCE AND PARANOIA

Christie, Agatha:

(1890-1976) British writer, author of more than 70 detective novels.

Poirot, Hercule:

Belgian detective character in several Agatha Christie novels.

** Jim in the movie Lister is watching:

Perhaps not surprisingly, sounds very like the American actor James Stewart (1908- ), star of the movie "It's A Wonderful Life" (1946).

** "Hercule Poirot's just stepped off the steaming train. And if you want my opinion, I think they all did it.":

Holly is reading Agatha Christie's "Murder On The Orient Express" (1934). The Orient Express is the train in question. And Holly is on the case and kicking bottom -- they *did* all do it.

** "In space, no one can hear you cha-cha-cha...":

The movie "Alien" (1979), starring Sigourney Weaver and John Hurt, had as its cinema publicity tag "In space, no one can hear you scream."

ME^2

NorWEB:

North West Electricity Board.

Welles, Orson:

(1915-1985) American actor, director, writer and producer. Notable works include the 1938 "War Of The Worlds" radio broadcast, and the movie "Citizen Kane" (1941) which won him an Oscar for Original Screenplay.

Pluto's moon:

Charon. Named after the ferryman on the River Styx in the underworld (Hades) in Greek mythology.

** Close-up of Rimmer's mouth

as he utters his dying words "Gazpacho soup!", his outstretched hand, and the breaking of the globe containing Red Dwarf: Reminiscent of the opening scene of "Citizen Kane" (1941) starring Orson Welles, in which Kane (Welles) in close-up utters his dying words "Rose bud", then drops from his outstretched hand a snow-globe which shatters on the stairs.

**The gag glasses Holly is wearing:

Patterned after Groucho Marx (1890-1977), American comedy actor.

**The salute that Lister performs at the end:

A Boy Scout salute.

KRYTEN

PARALLEL -- The play "The Admirable Crichton" (1902) by J.M. Barrie. Made into a film (1957) starring Kenneth More. A nobleman and his family are shipwrecked, and the manservant (Crichton) proves his mettle.

Gwenlyn, Kylie:

Producer and director of "Androids", whose surname is also used by Lister as an insult. Named after a producer, and former head of comedy at the BBC, Gareth Gwenlan. (See also below.)

The Wild One:

(1954) American film about hoodlum motorcyclists who terrorise a small town. Starring Marlon Brando and Lee Marvin.

Easy Rider:

(1969) American film about two drop-out motorcyclists. Starring Dennis Hopper, Peter Fonda and Jack Nicholson.

Rebel Without A Cause:

(1955) American film about a troubled/ troublesome poor little rich boy. Starring James Dean and Natalie Wood.

** Androids:

Parody of the Australian soap opera "Neighbours", which starred for a time the Australian actress/singer *Kylie* Minogue (recently seen in the movie "Streetfighter", 1995, with Jean- Claude Van Damme). The lines "Androids, everybody needs good androids" and "Androids have feelings too" of the "Androids" theme song mimic the lines "Neighbours, everybody needs good neighbours" and "That's when good neighbours become good friends" of the "Neighbours" theme song. One thing though -- if the androids are supposed to have Australian accents, Ms. Gwenlyn went too far east New! because they sound more like New Zealanders (though still wide of that mark, too!) than Australians.

**The song the Cat sings when going off to prepare to meet the Nova 5 crew:

Only two words "Twenty-four hours!" but definitely the tune of "Twenty-Four Hours From Tulsa". Recorded by Gene Pitney.

** The book Lister is reading in the Blue Midget cockpit:

A children's book from the "Spot" (a dog) series, by Eric Hill.

** "I serve, therefore I am.":

Variation on "I think, therefore I am" by Rene Descartes.

** Rimmer:

"What are you rebelling against?" Kryten: "Whaddya got?" Lines from the movie "The Wild One" (1954) starring Marlon Brando as Johnny, leader of the Black Rebels Motorcycle Club, and wearer of leather (a la Kryten as he prepares to leave Red Dwarf on Lister's space-bike). Girl: "Hey Johnny, what are you rebelling against?" Johnny: "Whaddya got?"

BETTER THAN LIFE

New! Berni Inn:

A chain of steak-house restaurants.

Pinky and Perky:

Two falsetto-voiced singing puppet piglets on the 1950s-1960s BBC (later ITV) children's show "Pinky And Perky" (created by Jan and Vlasta Dalibor).

Blind Pew:

Blind villain in the novel "Treasure Island" (1883) by Robert Louis Stevenson.

Friday The Thirteenth:

Nine movies to date, about this deathly date. Horror movies in which teenagers meet their deaths in a variety of ways at the hands of the unkillable Jason. It's just surprising that in Lister's time they're only up to Part 1649.

Beardsley, Peter:

(1961- ) British footballer, captain of Newcastle United.

Philistines:

A 12th century non-Semitic race of people. The name has become synonymous with one who is uncivilised in artistic and intellectual terms.

Venus:

Armless statue of the Roman goddess of love. Currently in the Louvre, Paris.

Shields, Brooke:

(1965- ) American actress and former child model. Best-known roles in "Pretty Baby" (1978), "The Blue Lagoon" (1980) and "Endless Love" (1981).

Fitzgerald, (Francis) Scott:

(1896-1940) American writer, author of the novel "The Great Gatsby" (1925).

Outland Revenue:

Presumably what the Inland Revenue Service will become once humankind moves off into space.

New! Geldof:

Presumably named after ("Sir") Bob Geldof (1954- ), lead singer New! of the former band Boomtown Rats (best-known song "I Don't Like Mondays"); later solo artist and sometime-actor. Also humanitarian, co-organiser of Live Aid 1985, and Nobel Prize nominee.

Mount Sinai:

Where Moses received the Ten Commandments from God.

Mary Magdalene:

Allegedly sinful woman, and follower of Jesus after she was cured by Him of possession by evil spirits. The first person to meet Jesus after the Resurrection.

Hefner, Hugh:

(1926- ) American publisher, and founder of "Playboy" magazine (1953).

** Holly:

"Of all the space-bars in all the worlds, you had to rematerialise in mine." Line from the definitive version of Casablanca (starring Myra Binglebat and Peter Beardsley) which mimics a line in the original version (1942) starring Humphrey Bogart as Rick. Rick: "Of all the gin-joints in all the towns in all the world, she walks into mine."

** The motorcycle Lister wishes for in the game Better Than Life:

A Harley Davidson.

** Rimmer's cars in the game Better Than Life:

In order of appearance, a Reliant Robin, an E-Type Jaguar and a Morris Minor.

THANKS FOR THE MEMORY

Odour Eaters:

Shoe inserts which will absorb/eliminate foot odour or your money back.

Osmond, (Little) Jimmy:

(1963- ) Youngest of the singing Osmond family from Utah, having a successful solo career at age nine. Best-known song "Long-Haired Lover From Liverpool".

From Here To Eternity:

(1953) American film about love and frustration set in the time of the bombing of Pearl Harbor. Starring Burt Lancaster and Deborah Kerr. Contains the famous scene of Lancaster and Kerr kissing on the beach (yes they are wearing swimsuits) while the waves break over them.

Mantovani:

(1905-1980) Italian-born violinist, composer and conductor.

Godzilla:

Japanese movie monster, star of several "Godzilla Versus..." movies.

Johnson's Baby Bud:

A wad of cotton on a stick, the most romantic thing that Rimmer has ever had in his ear.

** The song Rimmer is singing:

"Someone To Watch Over Me", recorded by Linda Ronstadt.

** The music Rimmer is humming while exercising:

"Peter And The Wolf" (1936) by the Russian composer Sergei Prokofiev.

** Lister:

"Well play it, Sam." In the movie Casablanca (1942), Sam (Dooley Wilson; 1894-1953) is the piano player in Rick's (Humphrey Bogart) Cafe Americain. Rick wants Sam to play the tune "As Time Goes By", and is often erroneously 'quoted' as having said "Play it again, Sam." Rick: "Play it!" Alternatively (but less often mimicked), it may be Ingrid Bergman (as Ilsa) that Lister is imitating. When Ilsa first comes to Rick's cafe, she asks Sam to play the tune... Ilsa: "Play it once Sam. <...> Play it Sam."

STASIS LEAK

Kendall, Felicity:

(1946- ) British actress (seen in the sit-com "The Good Life") having a much-admired derriere -- once voted Rear Of The Year.

Planet Of The Apes:

(1968) American movie about a futuristic Earth society composed of highly-evolved apes. Starring Charlton Heston and Roddy McDowall.

Agoraphobia:

Fear of open spaces.

Box of Daz:

Heavy-duty clothes-washing powder.

Cartland, Barbara:

(1904- ) British romantic novelist.

Topic Bar:

Chocolate bar with 'a hazelnut in every bite'. See the FAQ for more details.

Purley:

Part of London.

Captain Paxo:

Paxo is a British brand of chicken stuffing.

Attack Of The Killer Gooseberries:

Perhaps a future film to be made in the style of "Attack Of The Killer Tomatoes" (1978).

Newton-John, Olivia:

(1948- ) British-born Australian singer and actress. Best-known movie role as Sandy in "Grease" (1978) with John Travolta. Songs include "Banks Of The Ohio", "You're The One That I Want" (duet with John Travolta), "Magic" and "Physical".

Run For Your Wife:

1980s play, written by Ray Cooney. Stars included Jack Smethurst and David McCallum.

QUEEG

PARALLEL -- From the novel "The Caine Mutiny" (1951) by Herman Wouk. The book tells the story of the incompetent sea-captain, Phillip Queeg, whose crew eventually mutinies and takes command from him. Made into a film in 1954, starring Humphrey Bogart in the Oscar-nominated role of Queeg.

Tess Of The D'Urbervilles:

(1891) Novel about the seduction (and its consequences) of a peasant girl. Written by Thomas Hardy.

Hardy, Robert:

(1925- ) British actor, well-known for his portrayal of Siegfried in the TV series "All Creatures Great And Small".

Deganwy:

Region of Wales.

Tottenham Hotspur:

English football club.

Butlins:

A family holiday-camp establishment with a bit of a reputation for being 'inadequate'.

Subbuteo:

Mini table-football game.

** Rimmer cheering himself on during the draughts game:

Imitative of the style of English football supporters.

** Holly:

"This is mutiny Mr. Queeg. I'll see you swing from the highest yardarm in Titan Docking Port for this day's work." Parallel of lines attributed to Captain William Bligh of the HMS Bounty; said to the master's mate Fletcher Christian, when Christian led the mutiny on the Bounty in 1789. Several versions of the lines exist. From the book "Mutiny On The Bounty" (1932) by Charles Nordhoff and James Hall... Bligh (to Christian): "You mutinous dog! I'll see you hung <..> I'll see you swinging from a yardarm before two years have passed!" From the film "Mutiny On The Bounty" (1935) starring Charles Laughton as Bligh and Clark Gable as Christian... Bligh (to Christian): "I'll live to see you -- all of you -- hanging from the highest yardarm in the British Fleet..."

** The song Holly sings as he goes to challenge Queeg:

"High Noon (Do Not Forsake Me)" recorded by Frankie Laine. Oscar-winning song (aka "Do Not Forsake Me Oh My Darlin'") sung in the western "High Noon" (1952; starring Gary Cooper and Grace Kelly) by Tex Ritter.

** The song Holly sings before he is 'erased':

"Goodbye To Love", recorded by The Carpenters.

PARALLEL UNIVERSE

Mesmer, Friedrich Anton:

(1734-1815) Austrian physician who experimented with hypnosis (formerly called mesmerism).

Sandwich, (4th) Earl of (John Montagu):

(1718-1792) British politician who, in order not to interrupt his card-playing, developed the habit of eating beef between two slices of toast, and thus invented the sandwich.

Morse, Samuel:

(1791-1872) American inventor who greatly improved the electric telegraph and (with assistant Alexander Bain) invented Morse code.

Plato:

(c.428-347 BC) Ancient Greek philosopher.

Miranda, Carmen:

(1909-1955) Portuguese singer and dancer with a penchant for extravagant costumes, most notably a headdress made of fruit.

** Armstrong, Nellie:

Female universe equivalent of Neil Armstrong (1930- ), the first man on the moon (July 20, 1969).

** The Male Eunuch, by Jeremy Greer:

The female universe equivalent of "The Female Eunuch" (1970) by Germaine Greer (1939- ).

** Rachel III; The Taming Of The Shrimp -- both by Wilma Shakespeare:

Female universe equivalents of William Shakespeare's plays "Richard III" and "The Taming Of The Shrew".

** "I'm off to see the Wizard, the wonderful Wizard of Oz!":

Line from the title song of the movie "The Wizard Of Oz" (1939) starring Judy Garland.

BACKWARDS

PARALLEL -- The opening scroll and its musical accompaniment, akin to those in the movie "Star Wars" (1977) starring Mark Hamill, Harrison Ford and Carrie Fisher.

Muggins:

Slang meaning 'simpleton'.

Genghis Khan:

(c.1167-1227) Mongol conqueror and great military leader. Ruler of all Mongol peoples, across a vast empire ranging from the Yellow Sea (China/Korea) to the Black Sea (south-east Europe), from 1206.

ICI:

Imperial Chemical Industries, one of the largest companies of Britain.

** "Or a herd of flesh-eating dinosaurs feeding off the bones of Doug McClure?":

McClure made several 'dinosaur' movies, including "The Land That Time Forgot" (1975) and its sequel, "The People That Time Forgot" (1977).

** The mask Kryten is wearing:

Ronald Reagan (1911- ) Former Hollywood actor, and 40th President (Republican) of the USA (1981-1989).

MAROONED

Sindy:

Girls' doll, more middle-class than Barbie.

Birdseye:

Frozen food company, products include frozen fish-fingers and packets of small garden peas.

Newcastle Brown:

Beer -- Newcastle Brown Ale.

Alexander The Great:

(356-323 BC) King of Macedonia and conqueror of the Persian Empire.

Richard, (Sir) Cliff:

(1940- ) Enduring British pop singer and sometime actor. And I still can't believe that "Wired For Sound" only made it to No. 132 on the US charts. Philistines! ;-)

Ryder Cup:

Golf tournament for professional men's teams from the USA New! and Europe; played biennially. Begun in 1926, and named after Samuel Ryder ([?]).

Biggles:

Flying ace character in the books by Captain W.E. Johns.

West Side Story:

American musical. Film (1961) starring Natalie Wood and Richard Beymer. Based on William Shakespeare's play "Romeo And Juliet" but transferred to the contemporary setting of gang feuding in the New York docklands.

Islington:

Area of London.

** The song Lister plays on his guitar:

"She's Out Of My Life", recorded by Michael Jackson.

** The tune Rimmer trumpets as his soldiers burn:

The military send- off "The Last Post".

** "Au revoir mes amis, a bientot.":

Farewell my friends, see you soon (French).

POLYMORPH

The Three Musketeers:

(1844) Novel by French writer Alexandre Dumas (pere). The musketeers were Athos, Porthos and Aramis, with D'Artagnan as a fourth.

Osmond family:

Family of singing Mormons; the seven children all had (have) successful singing careers for a time, especially Donny, Marie and (Little) Jimmy. The Osmonds were recognised as much for their big cheesy grins (with perfect teeth) as for their music.

** The eight-foot tall, armour-plated killing machine:

Bears an *uncanny* resemblance to the creature from the movie "Alien" (1979) starring Sigourney Weaver and John Hurt.

BODYSWAP

Hitchcock, Alfred:

(1899-1980) Producer/director lauded for his style of movie-making, combining suspense, humour and romance. Films include "The Thirty-Nine Steps" (1935), "Dial M For Murder" (1954) and "The Birds" (1963). A portly man, Hitchcock also hosted an anthology TV series called "Alfred Hitchcock Presents"; his 'trademark' was his body silhouette in profile.

Atlas, Charles:

(1893-1972) American bodybuilder and founder of the mail-order bodybuilding course. The original weakling who turned to bodybuilding after a lifeguard kicked sand on him at the beach and stole his girlfriend.

Goodyear:

Tyre company known for floating advertising blimps over major sporting events.

New! Mr. Spock:

The half-Vulcan, half-human Science Officer on the Starship Enterprise in the original "Star Trek" series; also appearing in the later "Star Trek" movies. Played by Leonard Nimoy (1931- ). New! I suppose the logical question to ask now is: Is his urine really green? (How sad that I am asking that question. How much sadder though that someone, somewhere, probably knows the answer!)

Super Bowl:

Post-season championship game for American football.

Grimsby:

Aptly-named, northern industrialised 'seaside' town by the River Humber on the east coast of England.

** "I look like Captain Emerald!":

Perhaps a descendant of Captain Scarlet, title character from the British (Supermarionation) TV series "Captain Scarlet And The Mysterons", done by Gerry Anderson (of "Thunderbirds" and "Terrahawks" fame) in 1967-1968. Rimmer's uniform (in particular, his hat) is strongly modelled on the uniform of Captain Scarlet.

** The song Rimmer (in Lister's body) is humming as he prepares to go to the toilet:

"The Grand Old Duke Of York."

** The music playing as Rimmer (in Lister's body) leaves Red Dwarf in Starbug:

The "Light Cavalry Overture" (1866) by Franz von Suppe.

** Lister:

"Go ahead punks! Make my day!" Parallel of lines spoken and terms used by Clint Eastwood as Dirty Harry Callahan in eg. "Sudden Impact" (1983)... Dirty Harry: "Go ahead. Make my day."

TIMESLIDES

Nuremberg:

German city, site of (1933-1938) the German Nazi Party rallies, and of Nazi war criminal trials (1945-1946).

Stauffenberg, Claus von:

(1907-1944) German colonel who attempted to assassinate Hitler via a bomb planted in Hitler's headquarters' conference room at Rastenburg in East Prussia, July 1944 (see also the PIP). Hitler had von Stauffenberg executed for his trouble.

Hoffman, Dustin:

(1937- ) American stage and screen actor. Films include "The Graduate" (1967), "Kramer Vs. Kramer" (1979), "Tootsie" (1982) and "Rainman" (1988, for which he won his second Best Actor Oscar). Stage/TV work includes "Death Of A Salesman".

Ishtar:

(1987) Absolute bomb of a movie about two hapless singer/ songwriters, starring Dustin Hoffman and Warren Beatty.

Freemasons:

Free and Accepted Masons. The largest worldwide secret society, evolved from stonemasons and cathedral builders guilds of the Middle Ages.

Buckingham Palace:

The Queen's place.

Xanadu:

Charles Foster Kane's mega-mansion in the movie "Citizen Kane" (1941), starring Orson Welles as Kane.

Dave Dee, Dozy, Beaky, Mick And Tich:

A 1960s UK beat group, originally known as Dave Dee And The Bostons. The members were vocalist Dave Dee (1943- ), bassist Trevor "Dozy" Davies (1944- ), rhythm guitarist John "Beaky" Dymond (1944- ), drummer Mick Wilson (1944- ) and lead guitarist Ian "Tich" Amey (1944- ). The group had a No. 1 hit in 1966 with "Legend Of Xanadu".

Swiftian:

Descriptive of the type of satire in which outrageous statements are offered in a straight-faced manner. Named after the Irish-born British satirist Jonathan Swift (1667-1745), author of "Gulliver's Travels" (1726).

New! ** The music that Kryten is dancing to while developing his first lot of photographs:

"Bad News", a song written and performed by Craig Charles (with his band, The Sons Of Gordon Gekko -- see also below). This song does have lyrics, including "Bad news, I got bad news; I said, I got no money for my fags and my booze" with the instrumental bit heard apparently being the lead break between choruses.

** "We could go to Dallas, in November 1963, stand on the grassy knoll and shout 'Duck!'.":

Reference to the assassination of John F(itzgerald) Kennedy, 35th President of the USA (1961-1963, Democrat), who was shot and killed at this place and time, by (officially accepted) Lee Harvey Oswald.

** Lifestyles Of The Disgustingly Rich And Famous:

Obviously a TV show for those who are just too well off to go on "Lifestyles Of The Rich And Famous".

** The song playing as Lister arrives at Xanadu:

"Cash" by Craig New! Charles's band The Sons Of Gordon Gekko, named after Michael Douglas's character in the movie "Wall Street" (1987).

** The music playing before Lister and Sabrina Mulholland-Jjones are served their meals:

From the concerto "Four Seasons (Spring)" (c.1725) by Italian composer Antonio Vivaldi. ** The song Rimmer sings after he leaves the photo of his boarding school dormitory: "If I Were A Rich Man" from the stage musical "Fiddler On The Roof" by Joseph Stein (movie, 1971, starring Topol).

THE LAST DAY

Brigitte Nielsen:

(1963- ) Danish actress and singer more famous for her breast implants, and for being the former wife of Sylvester Stallone, than for her acting or singing. Movies include "Red Sonja" (1985), "Cobra" (1986) and "Beverly Hills Cop 2" (1987).

Vimto:

Brand of British soft drink, bought as a concentrate and diluted with water. Also comes (less commonly) in carbonated form.

Montmartre:

Area of Paris ville.

Pollock, Jackson:

(1912-1956) American painter. Developer of the painting style known as 'action painting' (1946). Also a pioneer of Abstract Expressionism. (Or put more simply, paintings that look like vomit.)

** "The iron shall lie down with the lamp.":

Parallel of passages in the Bible dealing with lions and lambs coexisting as friends and not enemies. The wording of the passages varies depending on the Bible version, but the relevant verses are Isaiah 11:6 and Isaiah 65:25.

** The music playing before 'the morning after':

"Morning Mood" (from "Peer Gynt", 1876) by the Norwegian composer Edvard Grieg.

** The song Hudzen 10 is singing:

"Goodbyee" (composed by Weston/Lee). Blackadder fans can hear a nice rendition of this song by Bob Parkhurst (Gabrielle Glaister) in the episode "Major Star" of "Blackadder Goes Forth". And that's probably the most gratuitous sentence in this document, but what's one more, eh?

CAMILLE

PARALLEL -- The movie "Casablanca" (1942). Rick (Humphrey Bogart) must choose between holding on to the woman he loves (Ilsa, played by Ingrid Bergman) or sending her away with her husband (Victor Laszlo, played by Paul Henreid) for the ultimate good of both Ilsa and Laszlo.

New! Tales Of The Riverbank:

A Canadian series narrated by Johnny Morris, this was a children's show about the adventures of a community of animals living by a riverbank. The show put real animals in highly anthropomorphised settings and situations. The star of the original show was Hammy Hamster. Presumably the show Lister was watching was a followup to the original "Tales", in the style of "The Next Generation" (a la "Star Trek").

St. Elsewhere:

American hospital drama series of the mid-to-late 1980s, starring Denzel Washington and Ed Begley, Jr. Emphasis on realism and not always a 'happy ever after' ending.

Spiderman:

Comic and cartoon superhero, born when reporter Peter Parker was bitten by a radioactive spider. Created by Stan Lee in the early 1960s.

Malden, Karl:

(1914- ) American actor with a distinctive bulbous nose. Most famous roles include the movie "A Streetcar Named New! Desire" (1951; for which he won an Oscar), the TV series "The Streets Of San Francisco" (mid-1970s, first with Michael Douglas and later with Richard Hatch), and the commercials for American Express ("Don't leave home without it").

The Blob:

(1958) American movie starring Steve McQueen, in which the people of a small town are terrorised by an invading blob from space.

McQueen, Steve:

(1930-1980) American actor. Best known movie roles in "The Blob" (1958), "The Magnificent Seven" (1960), "The Great Escape" (1963), "Papillon" (1973) and "The Towering Inferno" (1974).

** (Nelson) "I see no ships.":

At the Battle of Copenhagen in 1801, Nelson put a telescope up to his blind eye in order to avoid seeing a signal from his commander (Sir Hyde Parker) telling him to withdraw, which would have prevented Nelson from crippling the Danish fleet. Nelson's remark at the Battle: I have only one eye -- I have a right to be blind sometimes...I really do not see the signal.

** At the end of "Casablanca", Humphrey Bogart lies to Victor Laszlo to protect Laszlo's feelings:

Rick (Bogart) lies to Laszlo, saying that Ilsa does not love him (Rick) any more, in order to save Laszlo jealousy and heartache if he were to believe that his wife did not love him.

** Parrot's Bar on G-Deck:

Appears to have been modelled after the Blue Parrot bar from "Casablanca", which had as decorations parrot statuettes and live parrots on perches.

** The music playing as Kryten and Camille head out in Starbug:

"The Blue Danube" (1867), a waltz by Austrian composer Johann Strauss.

** The song playing when Kryten and Camille are in the cinema:

They are watching "Casablanca" and this song from it is called "As Time Goes By".

** Hector, Camille's husband:

The something-that-dropped-out-of-the- Sphinx's-nose equivalent of Victor, Ilsa's husband, in "Casablanca".

**

		Camille:  "Why my bag, Kryten?"

		Kryten:  "Because you're getting on that craft with 

		  Hector, where you belong."

          	Camille:  "No, Kryten."

          	Kryten:  "Now you've got to listen to me.  Do you have 

		  any idea what you've got to look forward to if you stay

		  here?"

          	Camille:  "You're saying this only to make me go."

          	Kryten:  "We both know you belong to Hector -- you're 

		  part of his work, you're what keeps him going.  If 

		  you're not on that craft when it leaves the hangar, 

		  you'll regret it.  Maybe not today, maybe not tomorrow, 

		  but soon, for the rest of your life."

          	Camille:  "What about us?"

          	Kryten:  "We'll always have Parrot's.  <...>  I'm no good 

		  at being noble, kid, but it's pretty obvious the 

		  problems of two blobs and a droid don't amount to a hill

		  of beans in this crazy cosmos."

          	Hector:  "Are you ready, Camille?"

          	Camille:  "I'm ready.  Goodbye, Kryten.  And bless you."

Lines from the airport scene in "Casablanca" where Rick is convincing Ilsa to leave on the aeroplane with Victor.

           	Ilsa:  "But, why my name Richard?"

           	Rick:  "Because  <...>  you're getting on that plane with 

		  Victor where you belong.  <...>"  

           	Ilsa:  "But Richard no, I, I...  <...>"

           	Rick:  "Now you've got to listen to me.  Do you have any 

		  idea what you've got to look forward to if you stay 

		  here?  <...>"

           	Ilsa:  "You're saying this only to make me go."

           	Rick:  "<...>  we both know you belong with Victor, you're 

		  part of his work -- the thing that keeps him going.  If 

		  that plane leaves the ground and you're not with him, 

		  you'll regret it.  Maybe not today, maybe not tomorrow,

		  but soon and for the rest of your life."

           	Ilsa:  "But what about us?"

           	Rick:  "We'll always have Paris.  <...>  I'm no good at 

		  being noble but it doesn't take much to see that the 

		  problems of three little people don't amount to a hill 

		  of beans in this crazy world.  <...>"   

           	Victor:  "Are you ready, Ilsa?"

           	Ilsa:  "Yes I'm ready.  Goodbye Rick.  God bless you."

** Lister:

"Kryten, this could be the start of a beautiful friendship." This line, as Lister and Kryten walk away together at the end, is from the final shot of "Casablanca", where Rick and the Prefect of Police, Louis (Claude Rains), walk away together across the airport ground. Rick: "Louis, I think this is the beginning of a beautiful friendship."

D.N.A.

The Bride Of Frankenstein:

(1935) American movie starring Elsa Lanchester (1902-1986) as the Bride created for Frankenstein's monster. Her hair was swept straight up stiffly a la the Cat's here, though the Bride's also had a white wavy stripe up each side.

Miller, Glenn:

(1904-1944) American trombonist, and big band leader and melody arranger. Hits included "Little Brown Jug", "Pennsylvania 6-5000", "Moonlight Serenade", "Chattanooga Choo Choo" and "In The Mood". On his way from England to France to entertain troops during World War II, Miller's plane disappeared without trace (probably ditched into the English Channel); although a popular notion is that he was abducted by aliens with a taste for swing music.

Quantel:

Video effect whereby a sequence of footage is split into a New! series of discrete single-image frames. Also, the manufacturers of a high-quality 2D painting and animation software/hardware package.

Descartes, Rene:

(1596-1650) French philosopher and mathematician. Famous for "I think, therefore I am" which the Red Dwarf posse like to adapt to *any* given situation.

Popeye:

Created by E.C. Segar. Cartoon sailor who gets a strength boost from the goodness of spinach. Also a bit of a philosopher for his Popeye Principle "I am what I am." Frequently confused with Descartes.

The Louvre:

Objets d'art museum (former palace) in Paris, home to such works as the "Mona Lisa" and the "Venus De Milo".

Nutkin:

Character created by British author Beatrix Potter. Appearing in her children's book "The Tale Of Squirrel Nutkin" (1903).

Lake Michigan:

A poppadom the size of this American lake would be 58020 square kilometres in area (22395 square miles).

** Lister:

"How can the same smeg happen to the same guy twice?" From the 1990 American movie "Die Hard 2: Die Harder", which had as its cinema publicity tag "How can the same thing happen to the same guy twice?!" Starring Bruce Willis as John McClane, who muses aloud as he finds himself in another basement, another elevator... McClane: "How can the same shit happen to the same guy twice?"

** "The Chomp Thing.":

Not half man, half extra-hot Indian curry; but half man, half plant -- this is the title character of the "Swamp Thing" (1981 -- original idea from a comic book), an American film starring Louis Jourdan and Adrienne Barbeau.

** The 'Man-Plus' Lister gets turned into:

Looks *very* much like the title character of the cyborg-policeman in the 1987 American film "Robocop", starring Peter Weller (1947- ), as Robocop, and Nancy Allen.

JUSTICE

Ripley's Believe It Or Not:

TV show in which fantastic and 'unbelievable' things and/or events are presented to the eager public.

The Bengals:

American-football team -- the Cincinnati Bengals -- whose players wear orange-and-black striped helmets.

Iranian jird:

A small cute member of the rodent family, more properly called the Persian jird (Meriones persicus), this animal nonetheless has more discretion than Cats because if Cat's statement about its sex life is true, then the jird itself certainly isn't telling.

Hess, Rudolf:

(1894-1987) German Nazi leader -- former private secretary, and later deputy Fuhrer, to Adolf Hitler. Captured in England in 1941, and sentenced to life imprisonment after the Nuremberg Trials, he died in Spandau Prison, Berlin.

Long John Silver:

One-legged, parrot-carrying, cook-wannabe pirate character in Robert Louis Stevenson's adventure story "Treasure Island" (1883).

** Florence Nightingdroid:

Presumably the mechanoid equivalent of Florence Nightingale (1820-1910), the British nurse who (during the Crimean War) established nursing practices that led (along with her later founding of a nursing school/home in London) to the revolutionising of nursing as a profession.

** Barbra Bellini in her lead-lined pod:

Very probably a reference to a type of logic puzzle, in which a candidate must attempt to discern the whereabouts or not of some object placed into one of several caskets. The puzzles tell of two Renaissance Florentine casket-makers, Bellini and Cellini. Whenever one made a casket, he inscribed it with some clue to the puzzle -- the catch was that while Bellini's inscription *always* told the truth, and Cellini's inscription *always* lied, the candidate had no way of knowing which casket had been made by which craftsman. The puzzles popularly involved choosing between a gold, a silver and a lead casket -- reflecting the Cat's "What a dilemma!" of Barbra or not in the lead(-lined) pod/casket. So, are we now crying out for an example of this puzzle? Here is the one that FroggyGrem sent to me (and which I'm relieved to say I did figure out -- eventually! Whew!)... The puzzle: Avoid choosing the dagger!

** "Take the Fifth!":

Meaning the broad interpretation of the Fifth Amendment of the United States Constitution, which (among other things) protects an individual against self-incrimination during legal process. Commonly and simplistically put "I refuse to answer, on the grounds that I may incriminate myself."

** Make my day:

Written on the simulant's gun, this line is used by Dirty Harry Callahan (Clint Eastwood), eg. in "Sudden Impact" (1983).

WHITE HOLE

Raison d'etre:

Reason for being (French).

Ramses (or Rameses):

Name shared by 11 kings of ancient Egypt.

Oates, Captain Laurence Edward Grace:

(1880-1912) British Antarctic explorer, one of the party accompanying Robert Falcon Scott on the second expedition to the South Pole. After reaching the Pole in January 1912, the party was trapped by extreme blizzards on their return journey to their supply depot. Oates, suffering from severe frostbite and believing that the others would have a better chance of surviving if not held back by him, went out into the storms for his 'legendary walk'. His last words were recorded in Scott's diary (see below).

Scott, Robert Falcon:

(1868-1912) British naval officer and explorer who led the second expedition to reach the South Pole (success in January, 1912). On the return journey all five members of the party perished. Their bodies and records were found in November of that year. Scott's diary, one of the surviving records, contains the last words of Captain Oates, spoken as Oates left the shelter for the last time. As noted by Scott in the diary, entry 16-17 March 1912, Oates said "I am just going outside and may be some time."

Stan and Ollie:

The American comedy acting duo Stan Laurel and Oliver Hardy.

** "I toast, therefore I am.":

Variation on the "I think, therefore I am" principle by Rene Descartes.

DIMENSION JUMP

PARALLEL -- Music and 'heroic fighter pilot' type akin to the music and theme of the movie "Top Gun" (1986), starring Tom Cruise and Kelly McGillis. The music parallels the movie's love song "Take My Breath Away", by Berlin.

Jaws:

(1975) American movie about a man-eating shark which terrorises a small Long Island community. Starring Roy Scheider, Robert Shaw and Richard Dreyfuss.

Morris dancing:

English folk dancing involving dressing up in belled costumes and being subjected to the clonk of wood on wood; the dancers' faces may also sometimes be blacked. Possibly derived from the Moresca/Morisco (meaning 'Moorish'; a 15th century Spanish dance) or from other Moorish (morys) dances.

Delius, Frederick:

(1862-1934) British composer. Works range from opera and orchestral music, to chamber music and songs.

Wagner, Richard:

(1813-1883) German opera composer. Works include "Tristan Und Isolde" (1865) and "Parsifal" (1882).

** Condom fishing in the canal:

Most likely Lister is talking about the Leeds Liverpool Canal, which has recently been subjected to a program of urban regeneration; including the reintroduction of fish. Apparently they didn't take...

** "We could try and hire a dance band and get them to play 'Abide With Me'.":

Seeing as how Starbug is sinking, this is very possibly a reference to the sinking of the RMS Titanic in the North Atlantic Ocean on April 14-15, 1912, with the loss of over 1500 lives. The dance band played as the Titanic sank (and perished along with the ship), although the hymn they are alleged to have played at the last was actually "Nearer My God To Thee".

** "Kids' TV series about a boy and his bush kangaroo.":

This would be "Skippy" (1970s, starring Ed Devereaux and Tony Bonner) an Australian kids' TV series about, amazingly enough, a boy and his bush kangaroo. Skippy was 'our friend ever true' of the boy, whose name was in fact Sonny (played by Garry Pankhurst) and not Ace.

** Masonic handshake:

Apparent secret handshake of the Freemasons (or Free and Accepted Masons), the largest worldwide secret society (evolved from stonemasons and cathedral-builders' guilds of the Middle Ages).

MELTDOWN

PARALLEL -- The movie "Westworld" (1973) starring Yul Brynner and Richard Benjamin. The androids of a futuristic robot theme park (with sections such as the Wild West and Ancient Rome) go against their programming, running amok and killing the human guests.

Irkutsk:

Province and city of east-central Russia.

Goebbels, Paul Josef:

(1897-1945) German Nazi leader and minister of propaganda from 1933. Poisoned himself when Berlin fell to the Allies.

Pope Gregory:

[? that is, which *one* ?].

Tweety Pie:

Cartoon canary character created by Warner Brothers Studios for their Loony Tunes series of cartoons.

Capone, Al:

(1898-1947) American (Chicago) gangster/mafia man, head of a large criminal organisation which he had built up during the time of Prohibition. Capone spent 1931-1939 in prison for tax evasion. He eventually died of syphilis.

Mussolini, Benito:

(1883-1945) Italian dictator and founder of the Fascist Movement; ally of Hitler during World War II.

Richard III:

(1452-1485) King of England 1483-1485. Last Plantagenet king and last English king to die on the battlefield (defeated by Henry Tudor at Bosworth Field). Most famous for allegedly instigating the murder of his nephews (Edward V and his brother, Richard of York -- 'The Princes in the Tower'), although personally *I* believe that the villain was more likely to have been, say, the Duke of Buckingham (but don't get me started on this...).

Winnie-the-Pooh:

A bear of very little brain. Teddy bear character created (1926) by the British writer A.A. Milne; Pooh and his cohorts being based on the toys of Milne's son Christopher Robin.

Sir Lancelot:

Best fighting knight of the Round Table fellowship, in the legend of King Arthur.

Day, Doris:

(1924- ) American actress, singer and animal rights activist. Movies include "Lullaby Of Broadway" (1951), "Calamity Jane" (1953) and "The Pajama Game" (1957). Best-known song probably "Que Sera Sera"; oh well, what will be will be!

Messalina:

(c.22-48) Wife of Roman emperor Claudius I. Promiscuous and conniving, Messalina manipulated Claudius into executing poor unfortunates who had displeased her in some way. She eventually received her come-uppance when she made a secret second marriage while still married to Claudius (who naturally was not going to stand for this and so executed Messalina).

Boston Strangler:

(c.1931-1973) Mutilating rapist who murdered 13 women (aged 19-85) in Boston, Massachusetts, from June 1962 to January 1964. His name came from his leaving of bows tied around his victims' necks or legs. In 1965 Albert de Salvo was arrested for lesser sexual offences; he later confessed to being the Boston Strangler but due to a legal technicality was never tried for these murders. He was sentenced to life imprisonment for his lesser crimes, but died in jail of stab wounds at the age of 42.

Boone, Pat:

(1934- ) American singer. Songs include "Love Letters In The Sand" and "Speedy Gonzales".

Rasputin, Grigory:

(1871-1916) 'Holy' man whose rather-too-well-heeded counsel to Tsarina Alexandra of Russia certainly did nothing to hinder the inevitability of the Russian Revolution. His debauchery and incredible political power could not be tolerated by the Russian nobles, a group of whom murdered Rasputin by poisoning him, shooting him, clubbing him on the head and then throwing him into the river where he finally drowned.

Gandhi, Mohandas (Mahatma):

(1869-1948) Pacifist Indian nationalist leader, pushing for Indian independence from Britain, in a non- violent way. He was assassinated by a Hindu nationalist after the partition of the country into India and Pakistan.

Mother Teresa:

(1910- ) Albanian-born Catholic nun, founder of a Charity order dedicated to helping the poor and destitute of India. She was awarded the Nobel Peace Prize in 1979.

Dalai Lama:

(1935- ) Self-exiled (as a protest against Chinese oppression) spiritual and temporal leader of Tibet.

** Rimmer's abuse of his troops, and the training of 'Arnie's Army':

Are military ploys and training to get the most out of the troops and weed out the incompetent individuals, as demonstrated in such movies as "An Officer And A Gentleman" (1981) and "Full Metal Jacket" (1987). Rimmer: "There's only two kinds from Assisi -- steers and queers. Which are you boy?" Mimics for example lines from "An Officer And A Gentleman", starring Richard Gere and Louis Gossett, Jr. (as Sergeant Foley). Foley: "Only two things come out of Oklahoma (/Arizona) -- steers and queers. Which one are you, boy?"

** The white-hooded waxdroid in the Third Reich building:

A member of the Ku Klux Klan, an American secret society (founded after the American Civil War) dedicated to white supremacy.

** The motorbike Rimmer is 'riding':

[?].

HOLOSHIP

King Of Kings:

It is likely that Lister, given his taste in films, is talking about the Cecil B. de Mille version of the story of Jesus (1927, silent; starring H.B. Warner) rather than the less critically-accepted 1961 remake.

Pilate, Pontius:

Roman governor of Judea (26-36) who condemned Jesus to death. Gospels portray Pilate as reluctant to condemn Christ, but succumbing to mass pressure and releasing the thief Barabbas instead of Jesus.

Geronimo:

(1829-1909) Chief and war leader of Chiricahua Apache Indians, who fought against US federal troops and settlers encroaching onto the Indian lands. Also the name popularly shouted when parachuting or performing some other exciting leap...

Euclid:

(c.330-c.260 BC) Greek mathematician specialising in plane and solid geometry, and in number theory.

Haiku:

Form of Japanese verse, usually consisting of three lines, the first and third having five syllables, the second line having seven syllables.

Satsuma:

A form of Japanese pottery, or a Japanese orange of the tangerine family. Either way, Lister does not speak it.

** Crane, Nirvanah:

In Buddhism, nirvana is the attainment of serenity and enlightenment through the eradication of all desires.

THE INQUISITOR

PARALLEL -- The 1984 American movie "The Terminator" (starring Arnold Schwarzenegger, Linda Hamilton and Michael Biehn) about a cyborg from the future, on a mission of termination. Sequel (1991) "Terminator 2: Judgment Day".

Virgil:

(70-19 BC) Roman poet who wrote the "Aeneid", the epic poem about the adventures of the hero Aeneas after the fall of Troy -- from his wandering the Mediterranean to his eventual settling/ founding of Rome. See also the PIP.

Agamemnon:

Hero of Greek mythology (son of the King of Mycenae) who led the capture of Troy. After receiving the prophetess Cassandra as his prize, he was murdered by his wife Clytemnestra and her lover during his return home.

Helen of Troy:

Most beautiful woman in Greek mythology, the daughter of Leda and Zeus. Married to King Menelaus of Sparta, her abduction by Prince Paris of Troy precipitated the Trojan War (after which she returned to Sparta with her husband).

Taylor, A(lan) J(ohn) P(ercivale):

(1906-1990) British historian and TV lecturer, specialising in modern British and European history.

Archangel Gabriel:

Angel close to God, and variously a trumpeter, revealer, and foreteller of the births of John the Baptist (to Zacharias) and Jesus (to the Virgin Mary).

Poitier, Sidney:

(1924- ) American actor and director. Films include "Lilies Of The Field" (1963, for which he won an Oscar), "Guess Who's Coming To Dinner" (1967) and "To Sir, With Love" (1967).

Curtis, Tony:

(1925- ) American actor. Films include "Some Like It Hot" (1959), "Spartacus" (1960) and "The Great Race" (1965).

** Who's Nobody:

Presumably the version of the book "Who's Who" that deals with Nobodies rather than Somebodies.

** "They're chained together like Sidney Poitier and Tony Curtis.":

A reference to the movie "The Defiant Ones" (1958) starring Poitier and Curtis as respectively one black and one white convict chained together, who escape custody and must deal not only with being on the run but also with the issues of racism and their mutual animosity towards one other.

TERRORFORM

Gandalf, Master Wizard:

Character created by British writer J.R.R. Tolkien in the book "The Hobbit" (1937) and its following "The Lord Of The Rings" (1954-1955). An adventure game of "The Hobbit" was written for early 8-bit computers; however it appears that the 'buying a potion from Gandalf' option doesn't exist... well, no one said that the Cat was good at these games, and maybe this is why...

** The muzak playing as Kryten off-lines after his accident:

The song "Copacabana" by American singer/songwriter Barry Manilow.

** Rimmer's journey to the dungeon of the Unspeakable One:

The crown -of-thorns headpiece and the attachment to the cross is akin to Christ's last journey to His crucifixion.

** The Hooded Legions (with 'rather unconvincing red eyes'):

Must be related to the Jawas of Tatooine in the movie "Star Wars" (1977), starring Mark Hamill, Harrison Ford and Carrie Fisher.

** Rimmer's Self-Respect and Self-Confidence:

Are musketeer-wannabes -- all for one and one for all!

QUARANTINE

Algarve:

Historical coastal region of southern Portugal, with a booming tourist trade.

Betty Boop:

Early cartoon character created by Grim Natwick (who later went on to animate for the Disney Studios). Recently seen in the movie "Who Framed Roger Rabbit" (1988), helping Eddie Valentine (Bob Hoskins) to mind his manners.

Schopenhauer, Arthur:

(1788-1860) German philosopher who saw the world as a conflict of wills resulting in frustration and pain -- the only purpose in life must be to escape 'will' and its accompanying painful strivings.

Turner, Joseph Mallord William:

(1775-1851) Prolific British artist famed for his landscapes (and apparently seascapes which look like the contents of Lister's nasal passages).

DEMONS AND ANGELS

Nobel Prize:

Prize awarded annually (began 1901) as recognition for great achievements in several areas, including Peace, Literature and Medicine. Named after their instigator, Alfred Nobel (1833- 1896), a Swedish engineer and chemist who invented dynamite (1867).

New! ** Toastie Toppers:

Presumably an inferior Low version of the toast- topping savoury snack made by Heinz; called, aptly enough, Toast Toppers. These are tasty savoury snacks which come in a ring-pull can, and are heated and eaten on toast. Simple.

BACK TO REALITY

The Wailing Wall:

Aka Western Wall -- a Temple ruin in Jerusalem, sacred site of pilgrimage, mourning and prayer for Jews. One way to offer up prayer is to speak, or 'wail', the prayer aloud.

Salvation Army:

An international Christian evangelical organisation founded in Great Britain in 1865 by Methodist minister William Booth.

PSIRENS

PARALLEL -- The Greek legend (told by Homer) of the Sirens. The Sirens were sisters, half bird and half woman, who lived on an island near the Straits of Messina. The Sirens sang, and any sailor hearing the song could not help but go to the island and be compelled to listen to the singing until his dying day.

Yukon:

Territory of Canada, settled during the gold rush of 1896-1910.

Liquid oxygen:

The Cat is going to get *mighty* cold taking a shower in this -- to the tune of colder than minus 183 degrees C (minus 298 degrees F).

King Kong:

Giant ape character from the 1933 American movie of the same name, starring Robert Armstrong and Fay Wray (also, a 1976 remake with Jeff Bridges and Jessica Lange). King Kong is taken from his island home to New York, where he causes much havoc before falling to his death off the Empire State Building.

Eiger:

Mountain in the Swiss Alps, 3970 metres (about 13025 feet) high. And that is one *big* pile of laundry.

** Cat:

"There's an old Cat proverb -- 'It's better to live one hour as a tiger, than a whole lifetime as a worm." Rimmer: "There's an old human proverb -- 'Whoever heard of a worm-skin rug?'." Lines from the second pilot of Red Dwarf USA. Cat (Terry Farrell): "There's an old Cat proverb that says it's better to live an hour as a tiger, than a lifetime as a worm." Rimmer (Anthony Fuscle): "There's an old human saying -- 'Whoever heard of a worm-skin rug?'."

** The spaceship graveyard:

One of the asteroids is home to a derelict Eagle ship, from the 1970s TV series "Space: 1999", starring Martin Landau and Barbara Bain. Elsewhere there is also a ship from the 1986 movie "Aliens" (starring Sigourney Weaver and Michael Biehn), as well as a Klingon ship from "Star Trek".

** "Like with Ulysses in that ancient Turkish legend.":

Lister is twice confused. Firstly, as Kryten points out, the legend was Greek. Secondly, the Greek legend speaks of the hero as Odysseus (Ulysses is the Roman variation). Odysseus was a hero of the Trojan War (the Trojan Horse strategy was his idea), mentioned by Homer in both the "Iliad" and the "Odyssey". After the Trojan War Odysseus journeys home to Ithaca; on the way he must pass the Sirens' island. He fills the ears of his crew with wax, and binds himself to the mast of his ship, in order that none can hear or act upon the temptation of the Sirens' song.

** "This is Captain Tau of the SCS Pioneer.":

Captain Tau was the captain of the Red Dwarf in the first pilot of Red Dwarf USA (and played by Lorraine Toussaint).

LEGION

PARALLEL -- The Bible, Mark 5:9 and Luke 8:30. Around these verses tells of the healing of a man possessed by demons. In both stories the man gives his name as 'Legion', because many demons have possessed him. See below.

Herman Munster:

Character created by Fred Gwynne (1926-1993) for the TV series "The Munsters" (also two spin-off films). Herman Munster was a caricature of the Frankenstein's monster a la Boris Karloff.

Jovian:

Descriptive of the planet Jupiter.

Caravaggio, Michelangelo Merisi Da:

(1573-1610) Italian baroque painter. Of course it's one of his paintings that Rimmer is contemplating, not the painter himself...

** "Like General George S. Patton, I believe in reincarnation.":

Patton believed that in a previous incarnation he was a foot- soldier in Alexander The Great's army during the seige of Tyre (in modern Lebanon) in 332 BC.

** "Some of the physicists involved -- Heidegger, Davro, Holder, Quayle.":

My one concession to pure speculation! Possibly these physicists are descended from some famous people of these names. Perhaps even Martin Heidegger (1889-1976; German philosopher), Bobby Davro ([?]- ; British comedian/entertainer), Alfred Theophil Holder (1840-1916; Austrian language scholar) and Dan Quayle (1947- ; former American vice president -- here's hoping that his descendant, with all his brilliance, knew how to spell 'potato').

** Legion:

"My name is Legion, for we are many." Line from the Bible (Mark 5:9, new King James Version)... When Jesus asked the demon-possessed man his name, the man replied: "My name is Legion; for we are many."

GUNMEN OF THE APOCALYPSE

PARALLEL -- From the Bible (Revelation 6), the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse: War (on a red horse), Famine (on a black horse), Death (on a pale horse) and Pestilence (on a white horse). These four were given power "over a fourth of the earth, to kill with sword, with hunger, with death, and by the beasts of the earth".

PARALLEL -- For the detective AR game Lister is playing, the British movie "Gumshoe" (1971); starring Albert Finney as a Liverpudlian who dreams himself as a private eye involved in a murder case.

Sing Sing:

American prison having a well-used electric chair.

Tarka Dall:

Chick-pea-based Indian dish.

Bhindi Bhaji:

Potato-based Indian dish.

Armageddon:

The site of the final battle of nations that will lead to the end of the world (the Bible, Revelation 16:16).

** The car in Gumshoe:

A 1938 Bentley.

** "No, the last thing they'll be expecting is for us to turn into ice-skating mongooses and dance the Bolero.":

British ice-dancers Jayne Torvill and Christopher Dean won Winter Olympic gold medals (eg. Sarajevo, 1984) with programmes that included their popular routine danced to Maurice Ravel's "Bolero" (1928).

** Butch Accountant And The Yuppie Kid:

Parody of the American movie "Butch Cassidy And The Sundance Kid" (1969) starring Paul Newman and Robert Redford.

** "Senorita, tre tequilas por favore.":

Miss, three tequilas please (Spanish).

EMOHAWK: POLYMORPH II

Cavaliers:

During the English Civil War (1642-1651), supporter of Charles I. The Cavaliers generally wore courtly dress and had long hair. See below.

Roundheads:

During the English Civil War (1642-1651), supporter of Oliver Cromwell and the Parliamentarian cause. The Roundheads wore their hair short as was typical of men of the lower classes. See below.

** "One-nil to the pudding basins.":

The conflict between Charles I (1600-1649; King of Great Britain 1625-1649) and Parliament (led by Oliver Cromwell, 1599-1658) resulted in the beheading of the King in 1649, and the establishment of the Commonwealth (1649- 1660) with Cromwell as Protector (1653-1658). Monarchy was restored in 1660 with Charles I's son Charles II (1630-1685; King of Great Britain 1660-1685).

** The man behind the grassy knoll:

'Gunman' (besides Lee Harvey Oswald) allegedly involved in the assassination of American president John F. Kennedy in Dallas, November 1963.

** Victory for the home eleven:

A reference to the marvellous game of cricket, in which there are eleven standard playing members per team.

RIMMERWORLD

Aneurysm:

Often-congenital weakening of the wall of an artery, making the blood vessel prone to rupture (which may prove fatal) at any time.

Thirty Years' War:

(1618-1648) Major European war beginning as a religious conflict in Germany and shifting to a struggle for power by the Hapsburgs.

Hundred Years' War:

(1337-1453) Conflicts between England and France over political alliances and English claims on the French throne.

Crusoe, Robinson:

Shipwrecked title character of the novel (1719) by Daniel Defoe. See below.

Jane:

Companion of Tarzan of the Apes (character created by Edgar Rice Burroughs, 1912).

** A two-storey home with running water and a balcony-stroke-sun patio:

The type of house built by victims of another shipwreck, "The Swiss Family Robinson" (novel by Johann Wyss, 1812-1813; a deliberate adaptation of Daniel Defoe's "Robinson Crusoe").

OUT OF TIME

Mogadon Cluster:

Not in any of *my* astronomy books, but sure is a handy group of tablets to have in an emergency!! ;-) The sedative Nitrazepam, popularly taken by drug users to 'come down'.

Hapsburgs:

European royals, imperial family of Austria-Hungary. Dating from the 10th century, the family members then came to rule as kings of Germany and as Holy Roman Emperors. At the height of their power the Hapsburg families ruled a large portion of Europe. Several Hapsburg divisions occurred, the last line of which ended rule early this century.

Borgias:

15th/16th century Italian (originally Spanish) noble family who had great political power in Renaissance Italy, and whose lifestyles were anything but sedate. The better-known members were the corrupt Pope, Alexander VI, and his two illegitimate children -- Cesare (cardinal and general) and Lucrezia (Duchess of Ferrara and political intriguer, and alleged to have had incestuous relationships with both her brother and father).

** "Don't Nixon me, man!":

Accusation of a cover-up, a la former American President Richard Nixon's (1913-1994) cover-up relating to the political scandal of Watergate.

** "His wife's an absolute cutie!":

The wife of Louis XVI was Marie Antoinette (1755-1793).

SMEG UPS

Noel Edmonds (BACK TO REALITY):

([?]- ) British 'personality' and practical joker. Star of his own show called "Noel's House Party".

The Oakland (HOLOSHIP):

A town in northern California which is home to a sports stadium called the Oakland-Almeda County Coliseum.

"Eeeextraordinary!" (BACK TO REALITY etc):

One of Chris Barrie's impressions is of David Coleman (a British sportscaster, [?] - ; that's him talking to Lester Piggott at Wembley in the later MELTDOWN piece), in which he uses the word 'extraordinary' a lot. The Red Dwarf cast have now taken to doing an impression of Chris Barrie doing an impression of David Coleman.

Billy The Kid (JUSTICE):

Nickname of American outlaw William Bonney (1859-1881) who had allegedly killed over 20 men (the first at age 12) by the time he died.

Kenneth Williams (MELTDOWN etc):

(1926-1988) British actor best known for his roles in the "Carry On" series of movies (also starring for the most part Sid James and Joan Sims), eg. "Carry On Henry" (1971), "Carry On Matron" (1972).

Voyage To The Bottom Of The Sea (Unidentified):

(1961) American movie about a futuristic undersea odyssey in an atomic submarine. Starred Walter Pidgeon and Joan Fontaine, and spawned a TV series. It is actually the TV series (1964-1967, starring Richard Basehart and David Hedison) that Craig Charles and Robert Llewellyn would be taking off -- the schlock 'special effects' are trademark of Irwin Allen, the producer/director responsible for both the movie and the series; and whose other notable projects include the TV series "Land Of The Giants" and "Lost In Space", and the movies "The Poseidon Adventure" (1972) and "The Towering Inferno" (1974).

Fiennes, Sir Ranulph (RIMMERWORLD):

(1944- ) British explorer who made the first surface journey around the world's polar circumference.

Wembley (MELTDOWN):

Sports stadium in London at which the FA Cup Final is held every year (since 1923).

Piggott, Lester (MELTDOWN):

(1935- ) Champion British jockey; imprisoned in 1987 for tax evasion (returned to racing 1990).

Vat '69 (MELTDOWN):

VAT is value added tax, Vat '69 is a type of champagne.

** One of the model shots of Starbug leaving the Red Dwarf:

Shows the blue police box TARDIS (Time And Relative Dimensions In Space) that is the transport vehicle for Doctor Who (in the British time-travel science-fiction show of the same name). All right yes I know we all know that, but it's just included for completeness' sake, okay?

SMEG OUTS

"Just pretend it's scrumpy." (MAROONED):

Scrumpy is an alcoholic apple cider, most particularly from the West Country of England.

"Who's the most unpopular man at a Borussia Munchengladbach match?" (Unidentified):

A German football team.

New!RED DWARF USA -- PILOT ONE

New! Weenies:

An American name for hot-dog sausages or frankfurters.

New! Amish:

Most insular and conservative faction of Mennonites, a Protestant religious group who reject worldliness (eg. in the form of using no modern technology and wearing no modern clothing styles) and live simple lives in emulation of early Christians. The main American community is in Pennsylvania.

New! ** We saw this Cuban guy who kept hitting bongo drums and calling for "Lucy!":

Apparently the ship was picking up transmissions of the 1950s TV show "I Love Lucy", starring Lucille Ball (1911-1989) and her then-husband, Desi Arnaz (1917-1986), a Cuban conga musician, singer, and later actor.

New!RED DWARF USA -- PILOT TWO

New! ** The scroll format and lettering "Not so long ago, in a universe not so very far away...":

Mimics the eventual scroll format and the initial words from the 1977 American movie "Star Wars" (starring Mark Hamill, Carrie Fisher and Harrison Ford) -- "A long time ago in a galaxy far, far away...."

New! ** "What if they're...the kind [aliens] that want to enter your bodily orifices and then burst out at inappropriate moments?":

A reference to the 1979 British movie "Alien", starring Sigourney Weaver and John Hurt. In the movie, Hurt's character Kane has an alien 'embryo' deposited in his digestive system via an ovipositoral insertion through his mouth. The 'embryo' then chooses to burst out of Kane's upper abdomen during the Nostromo crew's meal, killing Kane and effectively ruining the appetites of the remaining, living diners. Most inappropriate indeed, and certainly not covered by Emily Post.

New! ** Green, acid-filled butts:

Another reference to the abovementioned movie "Alien". 'Green' is probably a matter of opinion, but the aliens in the movie (and its sequels) certainly had concentrated acid for 'blood'.


THE BOOKS

INFINITY WELCOMES CAREFUL DRIVERS

PARALLEL -- For the game Better Than Life, Frank Capra's movie "It's A Wonderful Life" (1946).

Salvador Dali:

(1904-1989) Spanish (surrealist) painter with an eccentric style and an eccentric moustache. Painted such things as burning giraffes and 'melting clocks' (eg. "Persistence Of Memory", 1931).

Broadway:

Avenue in New York; the heart of the theatre district.

Guinness:

A type of dark creamy stout. From the Guinness brewery, founded in the 18th century by the Irish family of that name.

Marie Lloyd:

(1870-1922) British music hall artiste.

Sea of Tranquillity:

Landmark on the Moon which was the site of the first manned (or womanned, depending on which reality you're from) lunar landing.

Smith and Wesson:

Type of gun. Favoured by such people as Dirty Harry Callahan -- it really helps to make his day.

Cartesian Principle:

"I think, therefore I am" by philosopher Rene Descartes. This pops up a lot in the world of Red Dwarf, in one strange form after another.

GCSE:

General Certificate of Secondary Education -- qualifications received at completion of comprehensive school (age 15-16).

Burt Lancaster:

(1913-1994) American actor, producer, writer and director. Films include "From Here To Eternity" (1953), "Separate Tables" (1958), "Birdman Of Alcatraz" (1962) and "Field Of Dreams" (1989).

Arthur C. Clarke:

(1917- ) British scientific speculator and science- fiction writer. Best-known works "2001: A Space Odyssey" (1968; made into a film by Stanley Kubrick) and its sequels.

Heisenberg, Werner Carl:

(1901-1976) German physicist, and Nobel Prize winner 1932. Developed quantum theory and the uncertainty (or indeterminacy) principle (where the implication is that it is impossible to predict the moment-to-moment behaviour of an atomic system) for quantum mechanics. I freely admit that "Heisenberg's Uncertainty Principle For Beginners" would come in extremely handy for me too, as the most I get out of reading the principle is that Heisenberg must have been one very clever chap indeed to have thought of it.

Mark Twain:

(1835-1910) American writer. Best-known works include "The Adventures Of Tom Sawyer" (1876), "The Adventures Of Huckleberry Finn" (1885) and "A Connecticut Yankee At King Arthur's Court" (1889). McIntyre: "Rumours of my death have been greatly understated." In 1897 Mark Twain sent a cable from London to the Associated Press, in order to confirm his continued state of life... Twain: "The report of my death is exaggerated." This cable is often 'quoted' as "Rumours of my death have been greatly exaggerated."

Captain Kirk:

The captain of the Red Dwarf was saddled with this name, made famous by Canadian-born American actor William Shatner (1931- ) in the "Star Trek" series and movies via his portrayal of Captain James Tiberius Kirk.

Scala:

A cinema. [?]

Peter Greenaway:

(1942- ) British writer and director, known for his films which appear to be engendered to stir up controversy, or failing that, to stir up at least the contents of the viewers' stomachs. Films include "The Draughtsman's Contract" (1983), "The Cook, The Thief, His Wife & Her Lover" (1989), "Prospero's Books" (1991) and "The Baby Of Macon" (1993).

42nd Street:

(1933) American musical film about putting on a Broadway musical. Starring Werner Baxter and Ginger Rogers. From the novel by Bradford Ropes.

James Stewart:

(1908- ) Most excellent American actor. Star of many films, one for which he received an Oscar ("The Philadelphia Story", 1940) and four others which garnered him Oscar nominations ("Mr. Smith Goes To Washington", 1939; "It's A Wonderful Life", 1946; "Harvey", 1950; and "Anatomy Of A Murder", 1959). Other films include "Broken Arrow" (1950), "Rear Window" (1954), "Vertigo" (1958) and recently "An American Tail: Fievel Goes West" (1991) as the voice of Wylie Burp.

Doctor Who:

British science-fiction TV series (debuted 1963) about the adventures of a time-traveller called the Doctor -- played by seven actors; including originally by William Hartnell (1908-1975) from 1963-1966, with the longest run by Tom Baker (1934- ) from 1974-1981.

Well, who *did* knock Swansea City out of the FA (Football Association) Cup in 1967?

Hmm? [?]

Luxembourg, capital of:

That's really a poor IQ for a glass of water. The capital of Luxembourg is...Luxembourg.

Vladimir Nabokov:

(1899-1977) *Russian*-born American writer.

Flaubert, Gustave:

(1821-1880) French novelist. Well-known work -- "Madame Bovary" (1857).

Sacha Distel:

(1933- ) French guitarist and singer; best-known hit "Raindrops Keep Falling On My Head" from the movie "Butch Cassidy And The Sundance Kid" (1969).

La Bamba:

Traditional Latino party song, originally adapted into a hit (1958) by Ritchie Valens. Covered by Los Lobos in 1987 for the film of the same name, which starred Lou Diamond Phillips. And, it actually makes about as much sense whether done in Spanish, English or belching.

Chelsea Brown:

(1943- ) American actress. Appeared on the American comedy show "Laugh In" in the late 1960s; more recently seen in the Australian soap opera "E Street".

St. Peter's Square:

Large public square and entry to The Vatican. Named for St. Peter (former disciple of Jesus) who was martyred on the Vatican Hill in approximately 64.

Islam:

Religion of Muslims; founded in the 7th century. The holy book is the Koran, the word of the Prophet (Messenger of Allah/God) Mohammed.

Zoroastrianism:

Religion founded by the Persian prophet Zoroaster (aka *Zarathustra*) in the 6th century BC. Worship is of the good God (Ahura *Mazda*), who is in conflict with the evil God (Ahriman).

Dharma:

In Hinduism, dharma is the moral law (ethical and religious duties) of an individual, which governs the path of that individual's rebirths. In Buddhism, dharma is the truth taught by Buddha.

Brahmanism:

An early developmental stage of Hinduism.

Hinduism:

Major religion of India, founded about 4000 years ago. Concept of Brahman (supreme spirit) and other lesser divine manifestations including the triad of chief gods -- Brahman, Vishnu and Siva. Beliefs include reincarnation and karma ('fate'), and there is a caste system.

Vedanta:

In Hinduism, certain philosophical systems derived from the sacred Hindu treatise called Upanishad.

Jainism:

Ancient Indian religion. No deity worship but a principle of compassion, non-violence, and respect for all living things.

Hinayana:

One of the two major forms of Buddhism (more conservative).

Mahayana:

The other (later, more liberal) of the two major forms of Buddhism.

Sikhism:

Indian religion founded by Nanak in the 15th/16th centuries. Sikhs believe in a single God, and in equality of all human beings.

Shintoism:

Indigenous religion of Japan. Principles include a belief in the oneness of nature, and reverence for the reigning dynasty (descendants of the Sun goddess).

Taoism:

Chinese philosophical system founded in the 6th century BC by Lao Zi, in which emphasis is placed on harmonious interaction with the environment, leading to a following of the hidden 'way', or tao, of the universe.

Confucianism:

Beliefs and practices followed on the support of the Chinese sage Confucius (551-479 BC). A political and philosophical doctrine incorporating the idea of the union of the yin (passive) and yang (active) natural principles.

Marx, Karl:

(1818-1883) German philosopher, economist and social theorist.

Engels, Friedrich:

(1820-1895) German political and social philosopher. Also worked with Marx.

Freud, Sigmund:

(1865-1839) Austrian physician who pioneered the study of the unconscious mind, and laid foundations for the principle of psychoanalysis.

Jung, Carl Gustav:

(1875-1961) Swiss psychiatrist and sometime collaborative-colleague of Freud.

Copernicus, Nicolaus:

(1473-1543) Polish astronomer who went against Christian doctrine by maintaining that the Sun, not the Earth, was the centre of the solar system.

Catherine wheel:

Type of spinning firework, also called a pinwheel. Named for the 4th century Christian martyr (Saint) Catherine of Alexandria, who protested against the worship of idols and was tortured on a wheel before being beheaded at the behest of the Emperor Maxentius. Her feast day is Gazpacho Soup Day.

World Trade Center:

In New York City, the second-tallest building in the world at 411 metres (1350 feet) high. And just because I can't cope with documents which say things like 'the second- biggest/tallest/ugliest' etc., and always leave me wondering what the hell the *first* is, the tallest building in the world is the Sears Tower in Chicago, at 443 metres (1454 feet) high. :-)

Rennies:

Anti-indigestion tablets.

Dixieland:

A jazz style originating in New Orleans after 1917; emphasis on trumpet, trombone and clarinet.

Death March in Saul:

Funeral music from the "Saul" opera (1738) by the German composer George Frideric Handel.

New! Yankee Stadium:

American baseball stadium in New York. Size -- ooh, big. At least 140 metres (over 400 feet) from here to there, apparently. Well I've been told exact dimensions, but I don't understand these baseball field thingies, and I doubt that anyone cares too much anyway, so I'll just leave it at that. Good.

Mauna Kea:

Dormant volcano and highest peak (4200 metres; 13784 feet) on Hawaii in the Hawaiian Islands. Also the site of an astronomical observatory, but I guess that's not needed in this particular case.

Barbican Centre:

Large arts and conferences centre in London (14.2 hectares; 35 acres), opened in 1982. Components include a theatre, cinemas, library, art gallery, restaurants, offices and apartments.

Pandora:

Greek mythology 'Eve' equivalent, whose curiosity compelled her to open a box given by the Titan Prometheus as a wedding present. Pandora released the contents of the box -- troubles and diseases -- into the world, along with the one solace (Hope) that was also in the box.

Rod Serling:

(1924-1975) American TV show producer. Most famous for creating and hosting the TV series "Twilight Zone".

Twilight Zone:

American TV series of fantasy and imagination (1959- 1964), created and hosted by Rod Serling. Briefly revived in the 1980s (the TV show, not Rod Serling -- ick) as a series, and movie (1983).

Kensington:

Part of London.

The Student Prince:

(1954) American operetta film starring Edmund Purdom and the voice of Mario Lanza; about a prince who goes to Heidelberg to study, but falls in love with a barmaid. From the play "Old Heidelberg" by Wilhelm Meyer-Foerster.

King Of The Rocket Men:

(1949) American serial starring Tristram Coffin -- a mad scientist's diabolical schemes are foiled by the aforementioned Royal Rocketness.

Rumpelstiltskin:

Fairy tale adapted by the Brothers Grimm. A miller's daughter strikes a bargain with a dwarf in which he saves her life and helps her become Queen, in exchange for the possession of her firstborn child. The Queen can only avoid giving up her child if she can guess the dwarf's name -- Rumpelstiltskin.

Billy Benton:

(1900-1973) American government official, advertising executive and US publisher of Encyclopaedia Britannica.

Aubusson rug:

Rug (usually flat-piled) which is handwoven at the villages of Aubusson and Felletin in central France.

Battle of Borodino:

French troops under Napoleon defeated the Russians under Kutusov, at Borodino in Russia on September 7th 1812.

George The Third:

(1738-1820) King of Great Britain 1760-1820. After 1765, George suffered increasingly from periodic bouts of madness; after 1811 it was necessary for his son George to become Prince Regent. George III's madness was apparently caused by the incurable (and in those days, absolutely untreatable) genetic disease porphyria.

New! Brian Kidd:

([?]- ) Assistant manager for Manchester United Football Club.

Planck, Max:

(1858-1947) German physicist.

Planck's Constant:

A constant which measures the size of quantum effects in a system; h = 6.626196 x 10^-34. And I'm sure we all know what that means.

John Merrick:

The Elephant Man. And his name was actually 'Joseph'.

Shangri-La:

A utopia in the mountains of Tibet, as described in the novel "Lost Horizon" (1933), by James Hilton. The term has now become synonymous with any idyllic refuge.

Champs Elysees:

Major avenue in Paris ville. The name means Elysian Fields, which in Greek mythology is the happy dwelling place of virtuous souls after death.

Sorbonne:

Major university of Paris.

Louis XIV:

(1638-1715) King of France 1643-1715. Also known as the Sun King.

Picasso, Pablo:

(1881-1973) Spanish artist, working in several styles including Cubism and Surrealism.

Ming (vase):

Blue and white porcelain produced during the reign of the Ming dynasty in China, 1368-1644.

Michelangelo (Buonarroti):

(1475-1564) Italian painter and sculptor. Famous works include the frescoes in the Sistine Chapel (1500s), and the statue "David" (1501-1504).

Matisse, Henri:

(1869-1954) French painter, sculptor, designer and illustrator.

Cezanne, Paul:

(1839-1906) French Postimpressionist painter.

Koh-i-noor:

Large diamond originally part of the Indian royal jewels, now in the British collection. The name is Persian for 'mountain of light'.

Marks And Spencer's:

British chain of stores, developed from 'penny bazaar' origins. Named for their developers, Simon Marks (1888-1964; 1st Baron Broughton) and Tom Spencer ([?]).

Burton group:

Montague Burton, a chain of men's clothing stores in the UK.

James Clavell:

(1924- ) Australian born novelist, whose books frequently top the 800-1200 page mark. Works include "Tai-Pan" (1966), "Shogun" (1975; in excess of 1200 pages) and "Whirlwind" (1986; in excess of 1300 pages).

Dom Perignon:

Champagne. Dom Perignon was a Benedictine monk, the cellarmaster at the Abbey of Hautvillers in France (1668-1715). He developed the technique of secondary fermentation within the bottle that gives champagne its fizz (using strong bottles and corks for the first time, enabling the pressure to be contained).

Lenin, Vladimir Ilyich:

(1870-1924) Russian revolutionary communist leader, came to power with the 1917 Bolshevik revolution and became the first leader of the USSR under a communist doctrine he adapted from the principles of Marx.

Archimedes:

(c.287-212 BC) Greek mathematician. Made major discoveries in geometry, mechanics and hydrostatics.

Norman Wisdom:

(1920- ) British comedian and actor.

Clark Gable:

(1901-1960) American actor. Films include "It Happened One Night" (1934; and for which he won an Oscar), "Mutiny On The Bounty" (1935), "Gone With The Wind" (1939), "Mogambo" (1953) and "The Misfits" (1961; with Marilyn Monroe -- the last film for both of them).

The GPO Tower:

In London, and now known as the Telecom Tower, this construction is 189 metres (620 feet) tall.

Ida Lupino:

(1914-1995) British-born American actress and director. Films include "The Adventures Of Sherlock Holmes" (1939) and "The Trouble With Angels" (1966); also directed several TV shows including "The Donna Reed Show" and "Dr. Kildare".

Benny Hill:

(1925-1992) British comedian. Actually he was quite clever and witty, but is mostly remembered for toilet and sex- allusion jokes, particularly sketches which consisted largely of the 'humour' of having women in various states of undress being chased around by men of lascivious intent.

Dancer and Prancer:

Obviously named after two of Santa Claus's eight reindeer; the others being Comet, Cupid, Donner, Vixen, Dasher and Blitzen (Rudolf only being used in real pea-soupers).

Stephane Grappelli:

(1908- ) French-born jazz violinist.

Charlie Parker:

(1920-1955) American saxophone player, composer and bandleader.

Yehudi Menuhin:

(1916- ) American violinist.

Buddy Rich:

(1917-1987) American drummer and bandleader.

Jellybean:

([?]- ) John Benitez. American producer, remixer and general dance music expert. Has released his own albums but is probably best-known for the artists he has worked with; eg. Blondie, Whitney Houston, Billy Joel, The Pointer Sisters and Madonna.

** Bloody Mary:

This drink was named after Mary I (1516-1558), Queen of England 1553-1558. A Catholic, Mary earned the nickname 'Bloody Mary' for the zeal she showed in trying to destroy Protestant 'heretics'; in particular for the period 1555-1558 during which she had 283 Protestant martyrs burned.

** "Would you like to be turned into a pillar of salt?":

In the Bible (Genesis 19), God causes the depraved cities of Sodom and Gomorrah to be destroyed. He permits the man Lot and his family to escape, but they are warned not to look back on the cities' destruction. Lot's wife disobeys this order, and upon looking back, she is turned immediately into a pillar of salt.

** "I want to visit strange new worlds, to seek out new life and new civilisations. To boldly go where no person has gone before.":

Okay, we all know this one. Obviously Lister is a fan of "Star Trek" -- good to see him using a non-sexist version of the opening spiel, a la "The Next Generation" (and beyond?).

** Perry N'Kwomo:

An African balladeer with not only a similar name to that of the 20th century American singer Perry Como (1912- ), but apparently a similar nice 'n' nauseating style...

** Exorcist sick:

This is really being sick in a *major* way. In the American movie "The Exorcist" (1973), starring Ellen Burstyn and Linda Blair, a young girl (Blair) is possessed by demons, and one of the messier side effects of this is the tendency to projectile- vomit all sorts of unspeakable green goo.

** It wasn't a face that could launch a thousand ships:

A reference to Helen of Troy, said to be the most beautiful woman ever, and who *did* have a face that could launch a thousand ships. From this we get the unit of measurement for beauty in a woman: the milli-Helen -- defined as the beauty needed to launch one ship (no I'm not making this up, some *other* idiot thought of this one).

New! ** Saachi, Saachi, Saachi, Saachi, Saachi, and Saachi:

A future firm of copycat-name advertisers, not to be confused with Saatchi & Saatchi Worldwide Advertising.

** "I serve, therefore I am.":

Variation on "I think, therefore I am" by Rene Descartes.

** And a certain canned food company beginning with 'H'...:

Beanz Meanz Heinz.

** "Thank you, Sigmund.":

Rimmer thinks that Lister fancies himself a bit of a psychoanalyst, a la Sigmund Freud. See above.

** The Fab Five:

Of course, without Lister, The Beatles -- Paul McCartney, John Lennon, Ringo Starr and George Harrison (1943- ) -- were only the Fab Four.

BETTER THAN LIFE

PARALLEL -- For the game Better Than Life, Frank Capra's movie "It's A Wonderful Life" (1946).

Alka-Seltzer:

An anti-indigestion mixture.

Frank 'The Enforcer' Nitti:

(c.1896-1943) Chicago gangster. Al Capone's chief enforcer and head of Capone's empire after Capone went to prison (1931). Nitti was indicted for extortion but shot himself before the indictment was handed down.

The Sphinx:

In Egyptian mythology, a sphinx was a creature with the body of a lion and the head of a man. What Rimmer has love- bitten is the statue of the Great Sphinx at Giza in Egypt. The Sphinx's face is believed to be that of King Khafre (c.2500 BC), whose nearby pyramid the Sphinx was originally set to guard.

The Raj:

Name for the period of British rule in India before Indian independence in 1947.

Jesse James:

(1847-1882) American outlaw (bank, stagecoach and train robber). His gang included his brother Frank (who was tried and acquitted twice, before becoming a farmer); and later the outlaw Bob Ford, who finally shot and killed Jesse James in order to collect on his reward money.

Harley Davidson:

Type of motorbike. The first Harley Davidson was produced in 1903 in Milwaukee, Wisconsin, by the team of William Harley and Arthur Davidson (later joined by his brothers Walter and William Davidson).

Louis Quinze:

Descriptive of the styles of art and interior design prominent during the reign of Louis XV (1710-1774), King of France (1715-1774). Two major styles -- Regency and rococo -- flourished during this period.

New! Morning Has Broken:

Song recorded by Cat Stevens (also a hymn).

Nantucket:

Island which constitutes the southeasternmost point of Massachusetts.

Irma La Douce:

(1963) American film starring Shirley MacLaine and Jack Lemmon. A Paris prostitute (Irma) and a policeman fall in love, and he becomes her pimp.

Elizabeth I:

(1533-1603) Queen of England (1558-1603). Elizabeth never married and was nicknamed 'The Virgin Queen' (reflected in the naming of the US state of Virginia).

Saint Bernard:

Breed of dog famed for rescuing lost mountaineers. The breed was developed at the Swiss monasteries of the Hospice of Saint Bernard (founded by Saint Bernard of Menthon -- 923-1008 -- who is the patron saint of mountaineers).

Haydn, Franz Joseph:

(1732-1809) Austrian composer and master of the string quartet. Also a teacher of both Mozart and Beethoven.

Josephine Bonaparte:

(1763-1814) Wife of Napoleon Bonaparte, and Empress of France (1804-1810).

Imelda Marcos:

(1930- ) Filipino politician, and wife of ex- President of the Philippines, Ferdinand Marcos. Perhaps most famous for her *extensive* collection of shoes...

Elizabeth Taylor:

(1932- ) British-born American actress, eight times married and counting. Films include "National Velvet" (1944), "Giant" (1956), "Cat On A Hot Tin Roof" (1958), "Butterfield 8" (1960; Oscar-winning) and "Who's Afraid Of Virginia Woolf?" (1968; Oscar-winning). Recently seen in "The Flintstones" (1994) as the mother of Wilma Flintstone (the sexiest woman who ever lived -- in all probability).

Gary Cooper:

(1901-1961) American actor, the archetypal 'Hollywood hero'. Films include "Mr. Deeds Goes To Town" (1936; Oscar- nominated), "For Whom The Bell Tolls" (1943; Oscar-nominated) and "High Noon" (1952; for which he won his second Oscar).

Cagney, James:

(1899-1986) Intense American actor. Films include "Yankee Doodle Dandy" (1942; for which he won an Oscar), "Love Me Or Leave Me" (1955) and "Man Of A Thousand Faces" (1957).

Saran-wrap:

Wrap for keeping food fresh; aka cling-wrap, aka Glad-wrap, aka bastard-plastic-from-hell-that-I-can-never-get-to-work-in-a- million-years-wrap.

The Great Gatsby:

Title character of a retired gangster in the novel "The Great Gatsby" (1925) by F. Scott Fitzgerald.

Groucho Marx:

(1890-1977) One of the Marx Brothers (others were Chico, Zeppo and Harpo), a team of American comedy actors very successful during the 1930s. Groucho was characterised by big glasses, big eyebrows, a big moustache and a big cigar. Films include "Duck Soup" (1933), "A Night At The Opera" (1935) and "A Day At The Races" (1937).

Margaret Dumont:

(1889-1965) American Broadway and screen actress, best-known for her work with the Marx Brothers, with whom she co-starred in seven films (popularly as the target of Groucho's affections/insults); including "Duck Soup" (1933), "A Night At The Opera" (1935) and "A Day At The Races" (1937).

Cubism:

Art movement founded by Georges Braque and Pablo Picasso in the early 20th century, pioneering the concepts of abstract art in that art need not reflect reality.

George Washington:

(1732-1799) First President of the USA (1789-1797), after the American War Of Independence (1775-1783). Secretary of State Thomas Jefferson resigned in 1793, creating the two-party system.

Thomas Jefferson:

(1743-1826) Founder of the Democratic Republican Party, and 3rd President of the USA (1801-1809). Also largely responsible for drafting up the American Declaration Of Independence.

Theodore Roosevelt:

(1858-1919) 26th President of the USA (1901-1909), a Republican.

Mount Rushmore:

American National Memorial at Black Hills, South Dakota. The heads of Washington (representing the nation's founding), Jefferson (philosophy), Lincoln (unity) and T. Roosevelt (expansion) are carved from the granite of the mountain. The construction was created and supervised (1927-1941) by Gutzon Borglum, and each head is approximately 18 metres (60 feet) high.

Oppenheimer, J(ulius) Robert:

(1904-1967) American physicist; in charge of the development of the atomic bomb (the Manhattan Project).

Gorgons:

Three hideous sisters of Greek mythology, having live snakes instead of hair. Two of the sisters (Stheno and Euryale) are immortal; the third sister Medusa was mortal, but she alone had the power to turn to stone anyone upon whom she gazed.

El Greco:

(1541-1614) Domenikos Theotokopoulos, Greek Spanish-style painter, sculptor and architect.

Mount Everest:

In the Himalayas, the tallest mountain in the world at 8872 metres (29118 feet) high.

Queen Isabella of Spain:

(1830-1904) Isabella II, Queen of Spain (as opposed to Isabella I, Queen of Castile -- before the unification of Castile and Aragon into Spain) 1833-1868.

Benny Goodman:

(1909-1986) The 'King Of Swing'; American clarinet- player and bandleader.

World Cup:

Premier international football competition.

Romeo And Juliet:

Play by William Shakespeare, about two star-crossed lovers (Romeo of Montague and Juliet of Capulet) from feuding families. Each one, believing the other to be dead, commits suicide -- Romeo by poison and Juliet by stabbing herself. Sigh...nothing like an old-fashioned love story...

Fosbury Flop:

Method of clearing the bar for the high jump, pioneered by American high jumper Dick Fosbury (1947- ) who won Olympic gold using his technique in Mexico City, 1968. The Fosbury Flop is now the standard high jump leap, totally replacing the less- effective scissor-leaps and rolls.

Jayne Mansfield:

(1932-1967) American Blonde Bombshell actress, she of the *very* curvaceous figure. Best-known films "The Girl Can't Help It" (1956), "Will Success Spoil Rock Hunter?" (1957) and "The Sheriff Of Fractured Jaw" (1959). She died in a car accident in which she was decapitated.

Deely-boppers:

Toy "antennae", balls (or other novelty shapes such as stars or hearts) on springs attached to a headband.

** Marie and the dauphin:

Marie is Marie Antoinette, wife of Louis XVI of France. The dauphin is their son, prince of France and heir to the throne -- in this case, Louis (1785-1795), who became heir to the throne after the death of his older brother in 1789. Louis was proclaimed Louis XVII after the execution of his father, but this was a nominal title only and the boy remained a prisoner of the Revolution until he died.

** A personal hat-trick:

Originating from the game of cricket, a hat- trick is when a bowler dismisses three consecutive batsmen off three consecutive balls (this is a rare, nay freak, occurrence -- it has only been done 21 times in the history of test cricket). From this then, one can only assume that the Cat has *pulverised* three cute furry creatures in quick succession. Sounds like a job for the RSPCCFC to me.

New! ** For it is harder for a droid who disbelieveth to pass through the gates of Silicon Heaven, than it is for a DIN-DIN coaxial cable to connect up to a standard European SCART socket:

The electronics of this totally escapes me, but the theological parallel is with the Bible phrase along the lines of "And I say again to you, it is easier for a camel to pass through the eye of a needle than for a rich man to enter the kingdom of God", variations of which can be found in Matthew 19:24, Mark 10:25 and Luke 18:25.

** This was the fridge that the Great Gatsby flung open when Daisy came calling:

Daisy was Gatsby's married lover, the woman he'd loved and lost and yearned for for five years. When their affair resumed, Gatsby worshipped Daisy and was always trying to make everything perfect for when they were together...aside from this, there's no specific mention of a fridge -- are GN just trying to *confuse* us?

** The Cat's smile entered the room, followed by the Cat himself:

From this I deduce that the Cat's early ancestors were from Chester, as this is the kind of thing that the Cheshire Cat (from Lewis Carroll's novel "Alice's Adventures In Wonderland", 1865) could and would do.

** The format of the voting for Garbage World contest:

Is the same as that for the Eurovision Song Contest, an annual event where the performances of contestants from several European countries are broadcast to juries around Europe; the voting comes in in exactly the format of the Garbage World competition, even down to "Germany, two points. Allemagne, deux points."

** Lister's discovery of Mount Rushmore, telling him that Garbage World is in fact Earth:

Eerily reminiscent of the final moments of the American movie "Planet Of The Apes" (1968, starring Charlton Heston and Roddy McDowall), in which Taylor (Heston) discovers the ruins of the Statue Of Liberty on the beach, and realises that this horrific ape-dominated planet he is stranded on is in fact Earth's fate.

LAST HUMAN

PARALLEL -- For Cyberia; the vast isolated northern area (much 'wasteland' and sparsely populated) of Russia called Siberia. From the early 17th century, Siberia was used as a penal colony and general 'dumping ground' for criminals and political prisoners (not all of whom would have shared the same degree of 'guilt').

Hush-puppies:

Type of shoes.

George Formby:

(1904-1961) British singing comedian, ukelele player, and sometime actor in comedy/musical films of the 1930s and 1940s.

Grand Canyon:

Enormous gorge in Arizona, USA, carved out of stratified rock by the Colorado River. Famous for its beauty, grandeur, and treasure hunts to find the remains of Thelma and Louise. If Lister's smile is really this big though, then that's about 350 kilometres (217 miles) long, between six and 29 kilometres (4-18 miles) wide, and over 1.7 kilometres (1.1 miles) deep.

Lagos:

Chief port and former capital of Nigeria (Abuja became capital in 1991).

Hubble, Edwin Powell:

(1889-1953) American astronomer who discovered galaxies outside of the Milky Way, and proposed the 'expanding universe' theory. The powerful Hubble Space Telescope in orbit around the Earth (since 1990) is named for him, as are presumably the smaller Hubbles on board the Starbugs. Here's hoping that *their* mirrors were aligned properly...

Aztec:

Mexican American Indian people who lived around the site of modern-day Mexico City from about the 12th century to the 16th century; the arrival of the Spanish conquistadors in 1519 led to the ultimate destruction of the Aztecs.

Jim Daniels bourbon:

Either this is one I'm just not familiar with, or else it's a merging of Jack Daniels and Jim Beam whiskies. Well, how would I know? The stuff's revolting; *I'm* certainly not going to be drinking it!

Neil Diamond:

(1941- ) American singer/songwriter. Hits include "Cracklin' Rosie", "Sweet Caroline", "Song Sung Blue" and "You Don't Bring Me Flowers" (duet with Barbra Streisand).

Hamilton Academicals:

Scottish League football club. Losing finalists in the 1911 and 1935 Scottish Cups.

Jacobean furniture:

Style of furniture during the reign of James I (1566-1625), King of Great Britain (1603-1625). In the Elizabethan style which preceded it, but with broader classical lines and adopting many Renaissance motifs.

Bactrian camel:

Camel with two humps. Originated in the region of Bactria, an area of Asia divided between modern Pakistan, Afghanistan and Tajikstan.

Har Megiddo:

Alternative spelling for Armageddon, the site of the final battle of nations that will lead to the end of the world (the Bible, Revelation 16:16).

General (George Armstrong) Custer:

(1839-1876) American Civil War general who later campaigned against the Sioux from 1874; he and his entire troop detachment (save only one of the warhorses, called Comanche) were destroyed by Sitting Bull's ambushing forces at the Battle Of Little Bighorn (Montana, 25 June 1876).

Rorschach, Hermann:

(1884-1922) Swiss psychiatrist who developed the Rorschach Ink Test, a psychology diagnostic tool whereby the personality types of patients may be identified by the person's interpretation of what patterns he/she sees in the ink spots.

Bader, Sir Douglas:

(1910-1982) British fighter pilot. Bader lost both of his legs in an aviation accident in 1931, but went on to successfully fly missions during World War II. For his work with disabled people he was knighted in 1976.

The Frog Prince:

Fairy tale adapted by the Brothers Grimm, in which a prince under an evil spell (which has turned him into a frog) breaks the spell, becomes human once more, wins the love of a princess and they both live happily ever after. And they don't write 'em like *that* any more.

Tutankhamun:

(c.1360-1350 BC) Boy pharaoh of ancient Egypt, and one of the few whose tomb survived to the present day largely unplundered by thieves (discovered by Howard Carter, 1922). His famous gold death mask is presently in a Cairo museum.

Cartesian coordinates:

Components of a geometric system to show the position of a point on a plane (x, y coordinates) or in space (x, y, z coordinates). Named for their originator, Rene Descartes. Yes, him again.

The Mayflower:

Name of the ship on which the Pilgrims first sailed in 1620, from Plymouth in England to America (in present-day Massachusetts) where they founded the Plymouth colony and plantation.

Andromeda:

The galaxy is named for Andromeda of Greek mythology, an Ethiopian princess whose mother boasted of her daughter's beauty to jealous ears. Andromeda was sentenced by the sea god Poseidon to be devoured by a sea-monster, but was saved by the hero Perseus in exchange for her hand in marriage.

Avogadro, Amadeo:

(1776-1856) Italian physicist and chemist, and inventor of the term 'molecule'. Avogadro's Law states that equal volumes of all gases (which are at the same temperature and pressure) will have the same numbers of molecules.

West Point:

Former fort in New York state, and a military outpost since 1778. Site of the US Military Academy (called West Point), established 1802.

Chitty Chitty Bang Bang:

(1968) British children's film about adventures with an inventor's magical old car. Starring Dick Van Dyke and Lionel Jeffries.

Dralon:

Trademark name of an acrylic (German polyacrylonitrile fibre), velvety material, used chiefly for furnishings and curtains.

The Real McCoy:

Phrase meaning 'the real thing' or 'the genuine article'. As to its origins, well take your pick. An 1896 welterweight-champion boxer (Charles 'Kid') McCoy distinguishing himself from another boxing (Al) McCoy, or just simply proving himself, seems popular. As is the idea that the phrase refers to a Prohibition liquor smuggler -- maybe a McCoy who could be trusted to bring in the Good Stuff (in a similar vein, perhaps a moonshine maker who was supposed to be the best). Then again, the phrase may predate all American references and be a mutation of some reference from British/Irish/Australian sources. Who knows? We could just make something up ourselves (and frankly, there seem to be so many possible derivations that I'm beginning to think there's no such thing as *fake* McCoys -- outside of that Gary Larson cartoon of course...).

Walt Disney:

(1901-1966) American cartoonist, moviemaker, theme park developer and general all-round genius. Inventor of Mickey Mouse, Donald Duck, Goofy and others; developed quality animated features, and created Disneyland, the Happiest Place on Earth. (Yes, I am a fan!)

Darwin, Charles:

(1809-1882) British scientist who proposed (1859) the Theory Of Evolution, whereby species develop over time after processes of mutation and adaptation for natural selection. Darwin's Theory caused great controversy because it goes directly against the Christian doctrine of Creation.

Ursa Major constellation:

The Great Bear (or Big Dipper) -- the third largest constellation in the sky, so that's one big scar.

Hallowe'en:

October 31, immediately preceding the Christian feast of All Saints' Day. Traditionally the time of children dressing in ghoulish outfits and hunting in packs for suitable prey with which to destroy their teeth.

Perth:

Town of eastern Scotland, north of Edinburgh.

Henry VIII:

(1491-1547) King of England 1509-1547. Created the Church of England (1534) when Rome refused to annul his first marriage to his brother's widow. He went on to marry five more times; two of his wives were beheaded for adultery. He was succeeded by Edward VI, his son by his third wife Jane Seymour.

Melba toast:

Type of toast named after Australian opera singer Dame Nellie Melba (1859-1931).

Edward II:

(1284-1327) King of England 1307-1327. Incompetent king and reputed homosexual, Edward was deposed by his wife Isabella and her lover Roger Mortimer in 1327. Edward then conveniently 'died' soon afterwards -- allegedly he was disembowelled with a red-hot poker inserted via his rectum (a favoured 'punishment' death for homosexuals, and also a method not to leave obvious evidence of murder).

Danny Boy:

Song recorded by several people, including Jim Reeves and Bing Crosby.

Apollo:

American space program operating between 1968 and 1975 which aimed for and achieved the objective of landing a man on the Moon. The rockets which launched the Apollo spacecrafts were the two- or three-stage Saturn rockets.

** Cat:

"There's an old Cat proverb -- 'It's better to live one hour as a tiger, than a whole lifetime as a worm." Rimmer: "There's an old human saying -- 'Whoever heard of a worm-skin rug?'." Lines from the second pilot of Red Dwarf USA. Cat (Terry Farrell): "There's an old Cat proverb that says it's better to live an hour as a tiger, than a lifetime as a worm." Rimmer (Anthony Fuscle): "There's an old human saying -- 'Whoever heard of a wormskin rug?'."

** The Deformed Dozen:

Not so much 'unwashed' as incomplete... A droid 'suicide' squad a la the suicide squad of the movie "The Dirty Dozen" (1967).

** Sacer Facere:

From the Latin 'sacra facere', meaning 'sacrifice'.

** The Rimmerteer:

Rimmer's version of The Rocketeer, the rocket- pack-wearing character who foils Nazi world domination plans in 1938 (American film of the same name, 1991, starring Timothy Dalton; adapted from the novel by Dave Stevens).

RED DWARF LOG NO. 1996

Catherine The Great:

(1729-1796) Empress of Russia (1762-1796). Astute ruler, notorious for her sexual appetite and string of lovers. Her husband Peter III was murdered in a coup in 1762 (allegedly by Aleksei Orlov, brother of Catherine's then-lover Grigory Orlov), after which Catherine ruled alone.

Byron, George Gordon:

(1788-1824) British Romantic poet.

Shelley, Percy Bysshe:

(1792-1822) British lyric poet and pioneer of the Romantic movement.

Lloyd Webber, Andrew:

(1948- ) British composer and stage musical producer. Hits include "Evita", "Cats" and "Phantom Of The Opera".

Happy Eater:

A chain of motorway or "A" road restaurants in the UK, with the charming logo of a smiling 'tomato' pointing to its own gaping mouth (makes me glad we don't have these in Australia). ;-)

Bugs Bunny:

A wascally wabbit character in Warner Brothers' Loony Tunes cartoons.

Bridge at Remagen:

Remagen is a city on the Rhine River in western Germany. In March 1945 it was the site of a battle to allow the Allied advance into Germany -- the taking of the railway bridge into Remagen by Anglo-American forces enabled the establishment of the first Allied bridgehead across the Rhine.

Eva Braun:

(1910-1945) Adolf Hitler's mistress during the 1930s, they married in the bunker in Berlin in 1945, then committed suicide together the next day. Must have been *one* disappointing wedding night (unlike Lister, I shall not be so crude as to speculate upon the reason...).

Swindon:

Town in County Wiltshire in England.

La Giaconda:

Italian name for da Vinci's painting "Mona Lisa" (1503- 1506), the portrait of the lady with the enigmatic smile.

Trafalgar Square:

Square in London. Named for the naval battle of Trafalgar in 1805, at which Nelson's fleet won a decisive victory over the Franco-Spanish fleet.

The Carpenters:

Richard (1946- ) and Karen (1950-1983), American brother and sister singer/songwriter duo of the 1970s. Hits include "We've Only Just Begun", "Top Of The World" and "Please Mr Postman". The Carpenters finished with Karen's death from a heart attack brought on by anorexia.

Tommy Steele:

(1936- ) British entertainer. Singer and actor, origins in music hall.

Alien:

(1979) British movie starring Sigourney Weaver and John Hurt. It was followed by two American sequels, "Aliens" (1986) and "Alien^3" (1992), also starring Sigourney Weaver.

Mary Poppins:

(1964) American Walt Disney movie about the perfect nanny, starring Julie Andrews (1935- ) in the title role (for which she won an Oscar).

** I Could Have Lanced All Night:

Song obviously ripped off from "I Could Have Danced All Night" from the 1964 American musical film "My Fair Lady", starring Rex Harrison and Audrey Hepburn as Eliza Doolittle (singing the song with Marni Nixon's voice).

** Four Funerals And Another One:

Not as funny a movie as its similarly-titled predecessor, the British film "Four Weddings And New! A Funeral" (1994) starring Hugh Grant and Andie MacDowell.

** Fame:

Song from the 1980 American film of the same name. The first line, as sung by one of the film's stars (Irene Cara), goes "Baby, look at me; and tell me what you see."

** Rimmer's Column:

Would presumably supersede Nelson's Column which is currently in Trafalgar Square.

** I jog, therefore I am:

Yet another variation on the "I think, therefore I am" principle by Rene Descartes.

** TJ H00KER:

Calculations inspired by the 1980s American police 'drama' series "T.J. Hooker", starring William Shatner (1931- ) in the title role.

** The Bitch Is Back:

Cinema publicity tag for the 1992 American movie "Alien^3" (starring Sigourney Weaver and Lance Henricksen). Come on though, she's not so bad -- with a spoonful of sugar!


TO BE CONTINUED... ;-)