What REALLY Happened to Vicks and Wedge
Part I
A "What If..." tale by Kimberly Scott


     While it is true no one saw Vicks or Wedge in the Empire again, it also 
is unexplained whether Tritoch actually killed them or...sent them away. 
Perhaps they merely were teleported somewhere far, far, away.  For instance...


Guardia Kingdom, 1000 A.D.


     Vicks and Wedge awoke to find themselves lying on cold cobblestones, 
their Magitek suits nearby.  Instead of the cold, dry winds of Narshe, warm
evening breezes blew on their faces.  The area where they lay was full of
tents and festive banners.
     "Somehow I get the feeling we ain’t in Narshe anymore,"  Vicks said.
     "Where’s the girl?"  Wedge asked.  They looked all around for her, but
she was nowhere to be found.  "Drat!  She’s got our money!  How are we gonna 
spend a night at the Inn with no cash?"
     "Um… who says there’s an Inn here, much less people?"
     "What, you think all these decorations and paved walks and tents just
GREW outta the ground?"
     "Um… yeah," said Vicks, who obviously wasn’t dangerously smart.
     "Oh shut up, you idiot!  Come on, let’s get our suits on and cause some
Magitek MAYHEM!"  They climbed into their suits.  "Heh heh!"  laughed Wedge. 
"We’ll extort enough money from these numbskulls to BUY our OWN inn!"  He
leaned forward in order to reach the ON switch.  "HA ha ha ha haaaAAAHHHHH!"  
     The Magitek suit refused to work, which meant the bulky hunk of junk
could no longer defy gravity as well as it could while it was on.  Basically,
the suit toppled over with Wedge in it.
     "Blast it!  Our suits won’t work!  Which means we’ll have to earn money
the old-fashioned way."
     Vicks moaned.  "You mean we have to work for it?"
     "No, you idiot.  We’re gonna have to egg people’s houses."
     Vicks instantly brightened.  "Ooh goody!  I LOVE egging people’s houses!"
     Wedge slapped him.  "You nitwit!  I was being sarcastic!"


     The Truce Inn was hiring help in preparation for all of the visitors who
would be stopping in for the Millennial Fair.  However, by the time Vicks and
Wedge arrived, most of the jobs had been filled.  Wedge read off the job 
listings that weren’t crossed out.
     "Chef..Waitress...Maid...Good grief, this is WOMEN’S work!
Well,technically, I suppose ‘chef’ isn’t.  But I can’t COOK!"
     "Sure you can, Wedge.  You used to do it all the time when we were in 
training."
     "I meant that cooking is BENEATH me!  Imagine!  A soldier of the Empire...
COOKING!"  Wedge was ranting to nobody, however.  Vicks had already gone 
inside.  "Please, don’t let him do anything stupid,"  he muttered as he 
stomped into the Inn.


     Wedge found Vicks up at the front counter talking to the proprietor of
the Inn.  Vicks turned around.  "Hi Wedge!" he exclaimed.  "Guess what I am?"
     "A biological mistake?" Wedge sneered.
     "No!  I’m a MAID!"
     "WHAT?!  A MAID!"
     "Yeah!  Lookit all this neat stuff!  I get my own mop and feather duster
and...prepare to be shocked and amazed..."
     "I already am," groaned Wedge.
     "(I’ll pretend I didn’t hear that) My very own APRON!  Look!  It’s even 
blue, my favorite color!"
     "Like I care.  Excuse me, sir..." Wedge now directed his attention to the
manager, "I’m interested in applying for the ‘chef’ position.  How much will I
be earning?  And will room and board be provided for me and my, um, 
companion?"
     "Wages will be fifty G per hour, and room and board are included.  
Anything else?"
     "What exactly will I be required to do?"  Wedge asked.
     "Ah, I’m glad you asked.  You see, you won’t exactly be a ‘chef’."
     "Then, just out of curiosity, what WILL I be doing?"
     "You’ll be washing dishes."
     "WHAT?  WASHING DISHES?  Who’d want to do a thing like that?"
     "Well, sir, now you know why we didn’t list ‘dishwasher’ as an available
job.  Work begins at dawn.  I suggest you get some rest now, because with the
number of guests we’re expecting I doubt you’ll be gett