More
Fun Things to do in Class
1. Brush your teeth during class.
While doing so, raise your hand as if you have a question, and mumble your
question incoherantly while brushing, spewing
toothpaste all over the place.
If your professor objects to your actions, go on a tirade about proper
oral hygiene.
2. Sit way at the back of the room,
up against the wall, to get as far away from your professor as possible.
While he/she is lecturing, shout out things like, "What!?"
and "Speak up! You're mumbling!"
If your professor advises you to sit closer to the front, tell him/her
you can't because you're scouting the room for "assassins."
3. If you have an early morning
class, get there before anyone else, and bring a pillow, some blankets,
an air mattress, and an alarm clock. Wear your pajamas. Lie
down on the air mattress with the
pillow and the blankets and act like you're asleep. Have the alarm set
for about two minutes into class. When it goes off, preferably
very loudly, hit the "snooze" button
and go back to sleep. Keep doing so for the duration of the class.
4. Dispute everything your professor
says, no matter how simple. Try to get him/her to "prove" everything to
you. Rant and rave about what a big liar your professor
is. Yell at students who are taking
notes, saying, "Stop writing down all these lies!"
5. Show up to class about ten minutes
late. Ride into the room on a bicycle, yell, "Look out!", and crash into
the blackboard. Get up, take a seat, and act like
nothing happened. Do this every
day.
6. Keep "accidentally" setting
fires at your desk. Burn notebooks, papers, or whatever you have handy.
Whenever you start a fire, no matter how small it is, start
yelling, "Fire! Fire!" and run
out of the room in a panic. Don't return for the rest of class.
7. Hide somewhere inside the classroom.
Wait for your professor to take attendance. Don't come out when he/she
calls your name. Halfway through class, jump out
and yell, "Just kidding! I'm here!
Fooled you again!" Sit down and be quiet for the rest of class.
8. Wrap yourself in bandages and
come to class in a wheelchair. Throughout class, cry a lot and moan things
like, "Why me?" and "Please kill me!" Get up during
class, like your going to miraculously
start walking. Instead, fall down, cry out in pain, and wait for someone
to help you back up. When class is over, say, "I feel
better now," leap up, and run home.
9. Come to class with a jar full
of angry hornets. Five minutes into class, release the hornets, scream,
and run away.
10. Bring a vacuum to class. Halfway
through class, stand up and start using it. If your professor objects,
explain that you "can't stand sitting in this pigsty any longer."
Keep vacuuming, grumbling angrily.
11. Bring a small cactus to class
with you. Raise your hand, and when you're called on, say that the cactus
has a question. Turn and look at the cactus, as if you're
waiting for it to say something.
After a few moments, shrug, and wait for your professor to move on. Do
this once a day, and become increasingly irritated with the
cactus every time, sighing heavily
and giving it evil looks when it fails to "speak." When you leave the room
after class, start yelling at the cactus, "I can't believe you
embarrassed me AGAIN...."
12. Every time your professor stutters,
do a shot. If he/she objects, explain that drinking games make the class
more interesting.
13. When your professor gives you
a syllabus, take it home, correct it, give it a grade, and return it to
the professor. Demand extra credit.
14. Come to class every day wearing
scary Halloween masks. Try to get your professor to guess who you are.
Shoot him/her with a water pistol, scream, and run
around the room knocking things
over. Say, "Pretty scary, huh?"
15. Get the whole class to show
up a few minutes early, and throw a surprise party for your professor.
Insist that you can't start class until he/she has a piece of
cake. Keep asking people when the
strippers are going to arrive.
16. Instead of taking notes, do
an abstract painting during every class. Call the paintings things like,
"Professor Acting Like Mr. Know-It-All" or "Idiot Who Doesn't
Know What The Hell He's Talking
About." Give the paintings to your professor as gifts.
17. Wait for your professor to
mention a date, and then yell out, "Bingo!" Apologize, and explain that
you got confused.
18. Carve a bust of your professor
out of cheese. Tie a ribbon around it, and present it to him/her at the
beginning of class. Demand extra credit.
19. Write your professor a note
that says, "I'm going to be about 15 minutes late. Go ahead and start without
me." Wait outside the building until the time when class
is supposed to begin. Tie the note
to a rock, and throw it through the window.
20. Write down everything that
your professor says, word for word. Think up a melody, and turn the words
into a song. Bring a guitar to class and perform the song
for the class. Explain to your
professor that he/she is "very inspiring."
21. Get a monkey, and bring it
to class with you. Tell your professor that you've hired the monkey to
take notes for you. Sit back and relax during class, letting the
monkey scribble on a piece of paper.
When it comes time to write a paper or take a test, write down things like,
"I wish I had a banana" and "I miss my tire swing."
Assuming you get a bad grade, angrily
fire the monkey in front of your professor.
22. When you have to write a paper,
get it done early and mail it to your professor's house. From then on,
don't hand anything in, and blame it on the sluggishness of
the U.S. Postal Service.
23. Tell your professor that you'd
like to interview him/her for a writing class. Get him/her to tell you
his/her life story. Act interested, and write down everything
he/she says. Fabricate a few romantic
interludes and turn your efforts into a trashy romance novel. Make copies
for the entire class, and your professor. Demand
extra credit.
24. Draw hearts and flowers on
the backs of your papers and tests. Next to them, write things like, "You're
the best, even though you suck" and "You're the worst
professor in the world, but I still
love you."
25. Start asking questions in a
fake foreign language. Act like your professor is stupid for not being
able to understand you. Get other people in the class to start
speaking the fake language too,
and have frequent discussions during class. Act like you're really interested
in what you're discussing. If your professor tries to
interrupt or stop you, act annoyed
and motion for him/her to quiet down