1. Enter the stall. Shower for about 3 minutes, then scream really loudly, exclaiming, "I didn't know I had one of THOSE!"
2. Enter the stall, fully clothed. Do not undress and make sure you
clothes get all wet & soapy. Complain when leaving
the bathroom that your shirt tends to bleed all over.
3. Ask Scottie to beam you up.
4. Enter the stall, undress and then re-dress up as Superman. Leap out
of the stall, vengefully vow to stop Lex Luthor's
evil plot, then run full force into the wall. Stand up, shake your
head, and proceed to take your shower.
5. Bring a bottle of fake blood or ketchup into the shower with you.
Exclaim "Ow, you know, it really hurts when you pop
one of those." Then let the blood/ketchup seep down the drain for all
to see.
6. Look over the edge to the person showering next to you, giggle, and
then return to your side, whistling the tune "It's a
Small World After All."
7. Bring in a rubber chicken. Get it all soapy, then toss in into the
next stall. Demand that the person in that stall returns it
to you, or you will cast a voodoo curse on them. The next day, hang
the chicken from the bathroom lighting fixtures by a
noose and stick numerous pins and forks in it.
8. Have a seizure. Bang against the walls of the stall really hard.
Try to knock them down. If anyone later asks if you are
okay, just say that you had some Mexican Jumping Fava Beans and they
were reacting negatively with your stomach.
9. Bring a chunk of sodium metal. Leave it in the stall for the next person showering.
10. Stand in the bathroom, waiting for would-be shower-goers. When they
come in, tell them "Not to do it" and ask them
"Not to give in to sin". Wail mournfully when they step into the shower.
11. Initiate a war with the person in the stall next to you. Use the
residue water on the floor as your battle medium, and
float litte battleships over to their side. If they kick them back
or throw them over the edge, exclaim that you didn't know
they had the power of God and sheepishly mumble prayers for the duration
of your shower.
12. Bring in a fake finger. Float it down the drainage "ditch". Ask
if someone would be so kind as to return it to you. If no
one does, tell them that the finger has been sacrificed to Satan and
that the shower stalls are now possessed. Hang
Halloween decorations and crepe-paper ghosts from them the next day.
13. Bang your head against the stall wall, shouting "Redrum! Redrum!" in your best groggy voice.
14. Bring a Yoo-Hoo to the shower with you. Complain about a stomachache,
then moan "Ohhhh, um, uh-oh", and pour
the Yoo-Hoo down the drain "ditch" for all to see.
15. Before you turn the shower on, make a noise like you are charging
up a proton pack from Ghostbusters. Before you
turn it off, ask Egon to set the trap up for you.
16. Bring a balloon into the shower. Make the balloon squeak for the
duration of your bathing experience. Then pop it,
and fall to the ground.
17. Bring dead fish into the shower with you. Let them float down the
drainage "ditch", complaining about the quality of
water these days.
18. Hang up the names of different farm animals in the stalls. Have
everyone entering the stalls join you in a rendition of
"Old McDonald Had A Farm", making the sound of their animal in the
stall.
19. Turn the stall into a shrine for a pagan god. Call him Weeshy. Insist
that anyone who uses that stall must tithe to
receive his benefence and glory. If they don't tithe, avoid them for
the rest of your life.
20. Take your shower like normal, and then begin screaming that the
Communists are taking over. Bang battle sounds,
including bombs, bazookas, and tanks. Towards the end, wearily declared
victory. Leave wounded.
21. Levitate. If anyone complains, tell them that they are breaking
your concentration and just because they have bad
karma doesn't give them the right to spread it.
22. Blow bubbles. Exclaim that you are dissolving.
23. Bring in a bucket, fill it with water, and float a bar of soap in
it. Charge a fee for people to see the Wicked Witch of the
West bathing nude. Threaten anyone who laughs at you with flying monkeys.
24. Start singing Pavarotti really loud. In the middle, stop, stutter
for a second, and then exclaim "Ohmigosh...do you
know what these words REALLY mean?"
25. Walk in a man. Come out a woman. Complain that there are men in the bathroom.
26. Suck on the faucet head until you fill up with water. Complain that
they Seven Chinese Brothers get no respect OR
pretend to be a fountain.
27. Wet your head, and then sneak into a toilet stall. Flush the bowl
and wait a minute. Walk out of the stall lurching,
complaining about how dizzy you are.
28. Buy a bunch of those tiny animal-pills that expand into full, spongy
shape when they get wet. Bring them into the
shower and spill them into the ditch. Ask somebody for your pills back,
and when they hand little animals, scream, slap
them, and run away.
29. Make your best Psycho noise (reeEENT reeEENT...)
30. Try to get everyone in the other stalls to sing in four-part harmony
with you. If this actually works, change your voice
part every three measures.
31. Role-play with the guy in the stall next to you. If he claims to
have rolled a natural 20, call him a liar and fire your bottle
of shampoo on to his side. Complain about oily hair for the rest of
the day.
32. Become a shower-pirate. Loot other stalls of soap, Oxy pads, and
Q-Tips. Bury them under the tile floor. Fire cannons
at people using the toilet stalls.
33. Scream out that your washcloth is attacking you, then fall to the
floor and cover your face with it. Lie there for 2 hours.
Three days later, have a little washcloth pop out of your stomach and
terrorize the school.
34. Bring SCUBA gear into the shower with you. Talk to Cousteau. Upon
leaving, tell everyone that the Titanic was
actually torpedoed by the Germans. Be cocky.
35. Hum for a couple of moments, stop, make a "Mmm!" sound, and then
announce to everyone that the mildew on the
shower walls kind of tastes like head cheese.
36. Coat the floor in a fine layer of quick-drying cement.
37. Steal everyone's clothes from the changing compartment. Go into
their rooms and take all their other clothes. Donate
to a needy organization.
38. Hang "Marisa Cevasco steals Homecoming Queen Crown" signs in all
the stalls. If anyone asks who Marisa Cevasco
is, call them ignorant and ignore them for the rest of your life.
39. Bring in Sesame Street bath books. Read them aloud. Giggle everytime Bert walks in on Ernie bathing.
40. Stare at people's feet as they bathe. If they do not wash their
feet, tell them so. If this happens a second time, steal
their shoes and tell them that they left on strike. If they do wash
their feet and fall down while doing it, laugh hysterically.
41. Stand outside the shower curtain, raise a harpoon, and shout "I'm
coming for you, Moby!". Run in and do battle with
the faucet-head. Walk out a pegleg.
42. Charge a toll for people wanting to use the shower. If they complain, light them on fire. Then they'll pay.
43. Hook up your shower-heads to a local dairy-farm. If anyone complains
about the washing facilities, tell them that they
should be thankful for a wholesome, pasturized, vitamins A & D
fortified wash. Call them ingrates.
44. Put an electric eel in the water heater. Laugh everytime someone gets a shock. Call them glowworms.
45. Set up a slip and slide into the shower. Hurt yourself everytime
you bump into the wall. Complain that your favorite
physics professor always shuts gravity off at the wrong times.