JOKES
How do you ditch a Jewish cop?
Drive through a toll booth.
How can you tell if your wife is dead?
The sex is the same but the dishes pile up.
Why did the feminist cross the road?
To suck my fucking dick.
What was O.J.'s college fraternity?
De Kappa Tata.
Why do dogs stick their noses in women's crotches?
Because they can.
Why do black women have such big purses?
So their lipstick will fit in them.
What's the difference between a sorority girl and a bowling ball?
You can't fit a sorority girl in a bowling ball.
What happened to the Polish rocketship?
At five hundred feet, it ran out of coal.
Why do nipples have all those little bumps around them?
It's braille for "lick here".
What's the smartest thing that ever came out of a woman's mouth?
Einstein's cock.
What would you call a lesbian with thick fingers?
Well-hung.
What do a Polish submarine and a used condom have in
common?
They're both full of thick worthless semen.
What is the definition of "making love"?
Something a woman does while a guy is fucking her.
Why do women douche?
Because they can't teach their pussies to spit.
What's 500 feet long and smells like urine?
The conga line at Century Village.
One sperm says to the other sperm, "How far is it to the ovary?"
The other sperm says, "Relax. We haven't even passed the tonsils
yet."
What do you call a man with a blackhead on his dick?
Hugh Grant.
Why don't women blink during foreplay?
They don't have time.
Why did Cleopatra take milk baths?
She couldn't find a cow tall enough for a shower.
Why did God give blondes one more brain cell than he gave horses?
So they wouldn't shit during the parade.
Why did God invent lesbians?
So feminists wouldn't breed.
How much hair is in a girl's lap?
A box full.
How is a pussy like a warm toilet seat?
They both feel good, but you can't help wondering who was there
before you.
What's the definition of safe sex in West Virginia?
Branding the sheep that kick.
Why did the husband stop having anal sex with his wife?
Because every night it was the same shit.